File this under “s” for “shocking.” Or under “n” for “not at all shocking.”

The New York Times finds it noteworthy and newsworthy to inform its ever-dwindling readership: (1) Occupy Wall Street is complaining and (2) The NYPD thought it might want to keep an eye on the filthy hippies and stoners.

The NYPD rounded up four individuals on OWS’ November 17, 2011 “Day of Tantruming Like Spoiled Brats,” or, as OWS refers to it “Day of Action.” These individuals, according to their completely disinterested counsel were either crammed into a car right under the Manhattan Bridge (three of the upstanding young citizens) or getting coffee (one of the aforementioned genii).

At some point, these fine folks were rousted by the local constabulary, bustled into vehicles and transported to an unnamed police station, or, as the arrestees and counsel would have you believe, Guantanamo Bay on the East River. Upon arrival, three of the four were allegedly strip searched, interrogated and refused access to counsel, despite request. Interrogatories concerned individual’s relationships with OWS, future OWS plans and personal history. The NYPD charged the protesters with “obstructing governmental administration,” whereupon the Two Bridges Torquemadas released the dirty hippies. The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office chose not to prosecute the arrestees.

The article goes on to cite a few more cases where the NYPD (allegedly) has surveilled OWSers in public places.

The story as presented may raise a justiciable issue as to the constitutionality of the NYPD’s surveillance program. However, ‘Puter wonders what questions an actual reporter might have asked, rather than simply reprinting Attorney Pawar’s press release.

For instance, how about asking Mr. Pawar what his clients were actually doing when they were arrested? Or how about asking whether any of his clients have a past criminal history? How about asking why one of the four arrestees refused to join in Mr. Pawar’s windmill tilt? Have there been connections between OWS and domestic and/or foreign terrorist groups in the past? Does Mr. Parwar think it is reasonable for the NYPD to suspect people loitering in a car under a major Manhattan bridge of being up to something, particularly while ass-hat anarchist youths are threatening to shut down NYC’s business district?

Which brings us to the point ‘Puter thinks the NYT reporter is really making. The NYT reporter thinks that the NYPD should not gather information preemptively to prevent potential terrorist acts. ‘Puter thinks so, because the article goes on to discuss poor Mark Adams.

Mark Adams, a 32-year-old engineer from Virginia, said he was arrested in November at an Occupy Wall Street protest in Midtown and was questioned by a police detective and an agent from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who asked about his involvement with Occupy Wall Street, requested his e-mail address and inquired whether he had ever been to Yemen or met anyone connected to Al Qaeda.

Mr. Adams, a naturalized United States citizen who was born in Pakistan, said he was arrested during another protest in January and questioned by intelligence division detectives. In that instance, he said, the detectives asked him about specific names and addresses, asked about his work history, education and family, and questioned him about a trip he had made to Ireland.

Mr. Adams said he was disturbed that anyone would consider him a threat because of his ethnicity or political views. “It’s scary,” he said.

Again, the reporter doesn’t note whether in fact Mr. Adams has either been to Yemen or met anyone connected to Al Qaeda. The answer to this question is important either way. If Mr. Adams has never been to Yemen or met with al Qaeda folks, his story is more sympathetic. However, if Mr. Adams has been to Yemen or met with al Qaeda folks, it would seem to ‘Puter that the NYPD just might have a method to its madness. When reading the NYT, it’s every bit as important, if not more so, to note what the reporter doesn’t tell us.

Further, a quick Google search would have shown the intrepid reporter that Mr. Adams is a self-admitted frequent guest of the NYPD, having been arrested multiple times in association with Occupy Wall Street shenanigans. Such a search would also disclose that Mr. Adams looks like someone who may: (1) have been to Yemen recently; (2) have met al Qaeda folks; and/or (3) be bent on harming NYC and America. If you don’t want to be treated like a homegrown Muslim extremist, it would help not to dress and act the part. ‘Puter’s in fact surprised the NYT reporter was able to find Mr. Adams to interview at all, as four days ago Mr. Adams once again had a sleepover at the police station for attempting to storm a Bank of America branch.

Poor, poor Mr. Adams. Truly, he is a person done wrong by Whitey T. Mann and his racist system. ‘Puter’s so sorry Mr. Adams, for your horrible, miserable, no-good, very bad treatment. It must be terrifying for a person of ethnicity who espouses all the correct political views to be subject to scrutiny.

As we all know, and the NYT’s selective reporting would have us believe, the only people who should be considered a threat because of their political views are conservatives.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.