Has anyone noticed that the better Romney does in the primaries, the goofier the shit Rick Santorum says?

While most of Twitter is delighted with the idiocy of a Mitt Romney campaign honcho suggesting that Romney is an Etch-a-Sketch, capable of being wiped clean with a quick shake, the media has been dutifully listing some of the weirdness that Rick Santorum is actually saying.

During the debates, it was fun watching people—especially Santorum—getting under Romney’s skin. You could almost see Romney grit his teeth and almost hear him blurt out an expletive.

But that was the worst of it. Recently, when heckled by a dimwit at a rally who demanded free birth control, Romney evoked Ronald Reagan by suggesting she vote for someone else, rather than insult or ridicule her. Goodness knows, it would have been easy. But Romney is showing that the longer the campaign goes, the smarter he is looking.

On the other hand, Santorum loses Ohio, and he wants to outlaw teleprompters. He loses in Puerto Rico and announces he wants to ban pornography. He loses Illinois, and now announces that people would be better off voting for Obama.

Hey Senator? That’s really stupid stuff. When Santorum won Iowa, he gave a great speech. When he took Colorado and Minnesota, Santorum inspired with a can-do speech. Pretty much anytime he wins, he really nails the moment with an off-the-cuff speech.

The problem is that Santorum does not always win, and the worse he does, the more bizarre the stuff he says. Why not, you know, give the same type of inspirational speech, win or lose, and really get the crowds on your side?

What this indicates to us is that Rick Santorum would be a fair weather president: great when the times are good or improving, but a whiny pain in the neck when challenged. And as every president will tell you, most times it’s a challenging job.

On the other hand, it also highlights the disparity between Santorum and Romney: the latter is affable and mature when things are good or bad for him; the former makes it very clear that there is the hint of spoiled brat lurking around the corner.

A criticism that Rick Santorum leveled at Newt Gingrich a while back was that millions of Americans would dread opening the newspaper every morning, wondering what knucklehead comment a President Gingrich said the night before. With all due respect to Senator Santorum’s accomplishments, the same could be said of President Santorum. Now what?

If it comes down to a choice between a President who advises an airhead college student vote for Obama rather than expect free birth control or a President who suggests people actually do vote for Obama rather than a Republican, you might be wise to take the former.

The dumb irony is, of course, that Rick Santorum will, in November of this year, cast his vote for Mitt Romney rather than Barack Obama. And that makes him a bigger fool for saying otherwise.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.