It is no secret that many of us who dwell in the Castle read a fair amount of HP Lovecraft in our day. And apparently so has much of the Internet as well.

With that in mind, and because not everybody falls into the class “everybody,” the Czar has compiled a Business Traveler’s Guide to R’lyeh, which will be available next year on our Amazon site (click to the left).

Some excepts:

• Where can I find a telephone? Mglw’nafh wgah’nagl hthgäl?
• Hey, this is not what I ordered! Iä, nafh ph’nglui!
• How do I get to Rodeo Drive from here? Wgah lmh’shub Rodeo Drive?
• Excuse me, is it possible for me to get my iPad onto the free wifi? I need to check the Gormogons website. Iä, shu’hukurh anh’lhuryi i’Päd mglw’weh h’wifi? Hl’rheh h’ktu a Gormogons website.
• Heck, I suspect ‘Puter’s over back at his villa in R’lyeh, dreaming again. Iä, ph’nglui mglw’nafh ‘Puter R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

And hundreds more!

Likely you will want to put this on your Amazon wish list, which you can do with a single mouse click! Click here!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.