Things I Have Learned By Watching Morning Joe
This is how Ms. Brzezinski should have looked, had she a grip on reality. |
‘Puter watches Morning Joe on MSNBC each morning. ‘Puter already knows what he thinks and why. ‘Puter wants to see what liberalism’s best and brightest think on the issues and why.
If you don’t understand your opponent’s argument at least as well as your own, how can you effectively defend your position?
Over the past few years, ‘Puter’s been amazed at the absolute lack of understanding of conservatives and conservatism that liberals display. ‘Puter expected the liberal hosts and guests’ sneering contempt for conservatives, but not their unapologetic ignorance of conservatism.
‘Puter also finds Morning Joe absolutely unwatchable if Joe Scarborough is absent.* Mr. Scarborough is the only person on the set who will challenge any other host or guest on their opinions and assumptions. Without Mr. Scarborough, the set devolves into a navel-gazing echo chamber. MSNBC may as well install a web cam in the Harvard Law School’s faculty lounge.
This morning, Mr. Scarborough was absent. How he could choose to be absent on such a momentous day, in such a schadenfreude filled environment, full of low hanging fruit, is beyond ‘Puter. Anyhow, Mika Brzezinski, Mr. Scarborough’s co-host, handles anchor job when he’s not around.
Today, Ms. Brzezinski and her Merry Band of Pranksters shared the following nuggets of unassailable logic with ‘Puter and Morning Joe‘s 12 other viewers:
Issue 1: Governor Walker won yesterday’s recall election in Wisconsin with 53% of the vote to his opponent’s 46%, a seven percentage point victory.
Team Mika Response: This, according to Ms. Brzezinski’s cohort, was a trivial margin of victory, with no national or statewide consequences of any kind. In short, despite pantsing his hard-Left opponent in one of America’s more liberal states, Gov. Walker did not receive a mandate or a vindication of his collective bargaining overhaul.
Team Reality Response: Compare and contrast. President Obama won election in 2008 with 53% of the vote to his opponent’s 46%, a seven percentage point victory. Ms. Brzezinski and her cohort still celebrate President Obama’s election as an unchallengeable mandate, a mandate to impose a liberal model of command and control on Americans’ public and private lives.
Issue 2: Exit polls show Wisconsin voters yesterday indicated a preference for President Obama over his November challenger Mitt Romney by 51% to 44%, a seven percentage point margin.
Team Mika Response: Ms. Brzezinski indicated that clearly — CLEARLY — President Obama was in no trouble in Wisconsin. Why, just gaze upon the exit polling’s preference numbers and marvel! President Obama, according to Ms. Brzezinski, is rolling on to victory, just as surely as the Cheeseheads gathered in Lambeau Field’s parking lots on Packers’ game days are blitzed out of their minds by 8:00 AM. On, Wisconsin!
Team Reality Response: Compare and contrast. President Obama won Wisconsin in 2008 with 56% of the vote to his opponent’s 42%, a fourteen percentage point margin. As a matter of fact, President Obama’s approval in Wisconsin has fallen by 50% in 3.5 years, today registering just one percentage point over a bare majority. In ‘Puter’s world, especially in an election where President Obama’s core supporters were fired up beyond belief (e.g., labor unions, students, protesting ass-hats of all sorts, etc.), dropping half your prior margin of victory means the Obama Campaign should be cleaning brown stains off campaign headquarters this morning.
Issue 3: Governor Walker’s victory was not a referendum on his reduction of public sector unions’ collective bargaining rights.
Team Mika Response: Ms. Brzezinski indicated Gov. Walker’s victory was a one-off, absolutely, positively unrelated to anything having to do with Gov. Walker’s constriction of collective bargaining rights. Nope. No siree. Nothing to see here. Move along, please.
Team Reality Response: Compare and contrast. Politico, not exactly a hard-Right outfit, reports that Big Labor went all in on the Wisconsin election, ferrying in troops from out of state to “encourage” union members to vote the right way.** And Wisconsin’s electorate wasn’t buying any of what unions were selling, soundly rejecting unions’ strong-arm tactics. The electorate ignored the unions, squealing like entitled pigs gorging themselves at the taxpayer-funded trough, when they claimed Gov. Walker was sticking it to the little guy. Maybe that’s because Gov. Walker’s reforms turned a $3 billion deficit into a $150 million surplus, without raising taxes, and simply by requiring public workers to pay their fair share of health and retirement costs.
‘Puter has never seen a group of supposedly superior intellects (see, e.g., Howard Dean, Larry Summers, John Meacham, Willie Geist,*** etc.) so sheltered, so committed to an alternate reality, that they could not acknowledge the facts apparent to everyone else.****
Governor Walker’s recall election victory was a disaster for Democrats, both in Wisconsin and nationally. Governor Walker’s recall election victory was Armageddon for public sector unions, both in Wisconsin and nationally.
Yet Ms. Brzezinski gamely soldiered on, pretending Emperor Obama and his Knights of the Public Sector Union were, in fact, wearing clothes. Ms. Brzezinski’s performance was all the more amazing as she managed to accomplish the foregoing while at the same time ceaselessly checking her Crackberry for the latest talking points supplied by her “friends” in the White House.
Joe Scarborough, wherever you are, come back! Your show needs you as a reality check.
*’Puter also digs Mike Barnicle, a grizzled, old-school Kennedy Democrat newspaperman. Sure, he’s liberal, but a least he displays common sense.
**Here’s how Politico’s Robin Bravender put it: “Big Labor went all in on the Wisconsin recall — putting millions of dollars, months of organizing and its reputation as a political superpower on the line to defeat GOP Gov. Scott Walker. Then they got trounced on Election Day.”
***To be fair to Mr. Geist, he appeared uneasy as Ms. Brzezinski continued with her reality-defying observations about Gov. Walker’s victory. He made ‘Puter’s list of dishonor for not gamely stepping in, as Mr. Scarborough would have done, and calling Ms. Brzezinski on her horseshit.
****The only person on set with any grasp of reality was former Tennessee Democrat Congressman Harold Ford, Jr., who acknowledged the implications of Gov. Walker’s victory. He opined that if Democrats argue that the rich should pay their “fair share” then they should expect Republicans to counter that everyone should pay his “fair share,” including public sector unionized workers.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.