Post Subtitle: (Until Liberals Know Of What They Speak)

‘Puter’s been watching Morning Joe again, so you don’t have to do so.  Like all good mainstream media, the gang at Morning Joe paid lip service to not utilizing the Aurora massacre to politicize the gun control debate, then promptly descended into utilizing the Aurora massacre to politicize the gun control debate. 

This morning, in a typical Mika Brzezinksi-led “Joe’s not here so we can say whatever the heck we want without fear that some moderately conservative guy will embarrass us with inconvenient facts” moment, the gang set forth the list of horrors the insular and insulated coastal media elites trot out each time any gun violence of note occurs.  Among these hoary chestnuts are:

Big, black things scare me.  (Including individuals, although as good liberal elites we’d never admit that thuggishly dressed Black people in the wrong part of town correctly make us wary, because that’s racist, not rational).

Semi-automatic firearms should be illegal.  (Clearly, Aurora proves so.  After all, it was the semi-automatic Smith & Wesson AR-15 knockoff that jammed, and not the pump action Remington 870 which is a far more effective close range weapon than the Smith & Wesson.).

Extended clips are made for no other purpose than killing people.  (True.  There is no possible reason a varminter would want a high capacity magazine for dispatching groundhogs, prairie dogs and other assorted varmints.  And the weekend shooter who loves to plink with his Ruger 10/22 or even his Colt AR-15 would tire from constantly reloading his magazines.).

No one could possibly need 6,000 rounds of ammunition. (Nope, no reason anyone could possibly want 6,000 rounds of ammo.  It’s not like Obama and his fellow travelers have been making noise about banning guns outright or taxing them out of existence for years. Never mind the actual 2009 ammunition shortage, or the projected 2012 shortage for that matter, which makes stockpiling rational for even the casual shooter.).

It’s time to ban automatic weapons. (Leaving aside for the moment that while not outright banned, automatic weapons require a federal firearms license to possess and/or own since around 1934 or so when the New Deal brain trust passed the National Firearms Act.).

If we banned guns, violence would be gone forever.  (It’s true! Just look at Chicago, where guns are effectively banned despite the Supreme Court overturning Chicago’s unconstitutional firearms restrictions in 2010.  Chicago’s become a veritable Garden of Eden. Lions and lambs, dogs and cats, all living together in peace and harmony: a paradise.  If by “paradise” you mean Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise.).

‘Puter doesn’t mind debating issues.  Heck, ‘Puter debates with his television — loudly — during every newscast, driving his family from the vicinity. But liberals aren’t serious about debating this issue.  If they were, they’d take the time to brush up on their gun knowledge, perhaps even visiting a firing range and throwing some lead downrange, before resorting to stereotypes and “everyone knows” arguments.

As an example of Democrats who should not make anti-gun arguments, let’s take Morning Joe’s John Heilemann who treated the three viewers other than ‘Puter to his extensive gun knowledge, opining that the Aurora murderer had unfettered access to “.50 caliber” ammunition for his firearms, and this after Morning Joe’s producer just ran a graphic showing each of the shooter’s weapons.

The Smith & Wesson semi-automatic AR-15 knockoff is chambered in 5.56 mm NATO (or .22 LR, but ‘Puter’s fairly certain the shooter wasn’t using .22 LR for a premeditated killing spree).

The Remington 870 is chambered for a 12 gauge shotgun round.  For those not in the know, the shooter has his choice of size of shot, slugs, weight of slugs (if used), length of round (2.75 to 3.00 inches), etc.

Finally, the Aurora shooter had two Glock semi-automatic handguns, each chambered in .40 caliber.

None of the weapons used in last Friday’s massacre was chambered in .50 caliber.  Here’s what a .50 caliber Barrett rifle looks like.  There is no way in Hell anyone, ever, is using a .50 caliber rifle to go on an up-close killing spree. Heck, the guns are designed to shoot people/cars/trucks/targets from over one mile away. Canadian snipers in Afghanistan used a McMillan Tac-50 variant to shoot an insurgent from 1.435 miles away.

Of course, Mr. Heilemann could have been referring to the M2 Browning machine gun, which with its fully automatic firing would be a logical choice for a killing spree.  There are a couple of problems, though.  Even assuming the shooter left the M2 Browning’s tripod in his vehicle, the gun alone weighs nearly 85 pounds, and that’s without any ammunition.  Also, as noted, it’s incredibly difficult to get one’s hands on a fully automatic weapon (legally) in the United States since the passage of the federal government’s 1934 Firearms Act.

Or Mr. Heilemann could have meant any of the myriad versions of modern black powder muzzleloaders, frequently chambered in .50 caliber, popular for hunting during specially designated muzzleloading seasons, primarily for deer and bear.  Again, a few problems with this analysis.  First, a muzzleloader is a single shot weapon.  Second, reloading a muzzleloader, even a modern one, takes a good amount of time, affording the crowd sufficient opportunity to overpower him.  Not exactly a likely choice for a killing spree, either.

Liberals constantly reinforce the public’s perception that they know nothing about guns except that they irrationally hate and fear them. ‘Puter’s pleased that liberals display a shocking and embarrassing lack of knowledge about firearms, and a similarly shocking and embarrassing lack of dignity in displaying their ample ignorance for all to see. Because, until liberals get serious about recifying their shocking ignorance and arrogance, its downhill running for gun rights advocates.

More thoughts to come.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.