All of you tend to remember the Czar’s writings better than he does, so there is probably little value in reminding you about the Czar’s skepticism regarding life based on arsenic biology. We suggested you assume—unlike the press—that this was a mistake until proven otherwise.

Many recent stories in the science news (an evolving oxymoron if there was one, given how ignorant the mainstream media is about reporting science) revolve around this 2010 announcement: yes, well, it seems there was a terrible mistake and that the bacteria are not based on arsenic.

Yes, they live in it, play in it, and do bacteria things with it, but they are not biochemically using it in place of phosphorus. Or so new research seems to confirm. Mind you, the new research is itself being confirmed, so be patient.

But too many of the news stories seem to be condemning the original announcement as a hoax; a real negative tone can be found there. So let the Czar remind the MSM that you have no one to blame but yourselves for that.

1. Biologists analyze some bacteria who seem to exist in an environment that should be lethal to them—one rich in arsenic.
2. Biologists cannot explain how they have adapted to the arsenic, and cannot think of a way to explain it other than to suggest they have somehow incorporated the arsenic into their very biology.
3. NASA gets involved, since their biology teams have possibly more experience with theoretically bizarre biochemistry.
4. NASA’s biologists cannot readily explain it either.
5. The press hears NASA scientists are involved with some potentially arsenic-based life form, and report that NASA has concluded these bacteria must be based on arsenic, and this will totally rewrite the LawS OF SciENCE as WE KNOWW THEM!!!!eleven+y!!!!@!
6. The scientific community ignores the previous step, and begins to review the studies.
7. Other biologists conclude that the bacteria have found a simple way to resist arsenic, but use minute amounts of phosphorus like good bacteria, and while this is indeed unusual, there is nothing revolutionary here.
8. They write up their findings with terms that journalists cannot understand.
9. The journalists turn on science for misleading them the whole time.

Let the Czar make this very clear: science works. It’s journalism that’s broken.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.