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| Dr. J. had the same look on his face on a rainy November Saturday in fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh grade… |
Dr. J. played recreational soccer growing up. After an undefeated inaugural season, followed by an ever-defeated second season, Papa J. took over the reins of the team. With a combination of hard work and excellent coaching, we were a league power, a power that that came in second place every year until our last, and a team that every one wanted to play for.
During that final year, we fielded what was on paper, our worst team ever.
We came in second, for the first half of the season, and after a rough start of the second half of the season, we needed to win our 5 final games to force a tie for the second half of the season with the first-half champs. In this league, the first half of the season champs played the second half of the season champs in order to determine league champions.
Papa J. sat the team down, laid out the facts and, because Dr. J. would be entering high school the following year, announced it was his last year coaching. Indeed, Papa J. had to step down as coach before the last regular season game and the two playoff games because he had his third heart attack. With our backs to the wall, we dug in, won our final five regular season games, and then beat the first-half champs in the tie-breaker game for the second half of the season and again in the championship game.
Dr. J. tells this tale because second place hurts, it hurts more than third place, and it hurts more than last place. That being said, it is a good hurt, because more than any other hurt it drives you to dig deeper and work harder because you know, that you are capable of winning, of grabbing that golden ring
This brings us to yesterday’s women’s vault finals. As many of you know, the overwhelming favorite to win, American vaulter McKayla Maroney fell on her final vault, resulting in a second place performance and the silver medal. It was clear from the expressions on her face after her performance that she was not happy. To her credit, she did not cry. She did not have a temper tantrum. She was not a bad sport. She did was not unhappy with the judges or with her opponents. She wasn’t unhappy with the conditions in the gym or Olympic Village.
She was unhappy with her vault.
The look on her face was not that of someone who was cheated out of a gold medal, but someone who knows her abilities and was dissatisfied with her performance that night. It was also the look of someone who won’t make the same mistake twice.
In an age where children are awarded participation trophies and they are the only ones clandestinely keeping score, she is a role model for the pursuit of excellence that they need to learn from. It is through that single minded desire to be the best that one can be the best they can be. Like her, they need to be encouraged and to be allowed to encourage themselves. This competitive spirit is the competitive spirit that drives us to be the best we can be. It is this competitive spirit that has made America the greatest nation on Earth. It is the same competitive spirit that has been beaten out of so many Gen-X’ers and Millennials by our Baby Boomer educators out of a desire to ‘be fair’ and not to ‘hurt people’s feelings.’
The Lil Resident feels this way in competitive dance. This year her team had two 2nd place performances and a 4th place performance. She wants to double down next year an reclaim their national title from two years ago.
The Lil Medstudent feels this way when he plays baseball and chess. He wants to win. While he still needs to learn to be a gracious winner and loser, Dr. J. knows that this can be done with out quenching the fire in his belly. Unfortunately there are many that would rather quench the fire than teach the pursuit of excellence and healthy competition.
A bad coach tells their athletes, ‘Second Place is First Loser,’ but a good coach stokes the fire that drives the athlete to not accept second place and push themselves with the goal of getting first place.
