The DNC Response to the VP Pick
2-1B hacked into DNC headquarters and found this missive in Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s Drafts Box:
To: MSMList@DNC.org
From: Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chair, DNC
Re: Vice Presidential Candidate <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname>
We are shocked and appalled at Governor Romney’s choice of <VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> for Vice President. <VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> is a choice that demonstrates how out of touch Governor Romney is with regular Americans. <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname> has extreme views on <Prepolled Pushbutton issue 1> and <Prepolled Pushbutton issue 2>, exemplified by <Prepolled Pushbutton Issue Example 1> and <Prepolled Pushbutton Issue Example 2>.
<VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> doesn’t have the mettle to be President. <VP Candidate Gender Specific Subject Pronoun> does not have the experience, nor the mettle to be Vice President, as <VP Candidate Gender Specific Subject Pronoun Possessive> experience is limited to <VP Candidate Second Most Recent Political Office> where they clearly demonstrated incompetence in their handling of <VP Candidate’s Most Successful Accomplishment During Second Most Recent Political Office>. Having only attended <VP Candidate’s College and Graduate School>, <VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> clearly does not have the academic pedigree to take up the mantle of Vice President. Nor does <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname> have the sensitivity towards working Americans, as evidenced by recently <VP Candidate’s Last Fun Activity>. <VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> also does not have a world class temperament, as seen when <VP Candidate Gender Specific Subject Pronoun> described their Democratic colleague <VP Key Democratic Rival> as a(n) <Obscene Gerund> <Anatomic Part> in <VP Candidate’s Last Location Governing>.
Furthermore, Governor Romney clearly picked <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname> because <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname> is a <VP Candidate Key Demographic Group>. Despite this, <VP Candidate Firstname> <VP Candidate Secondname> is an extremist that does not speak for all <VP Candidate Key Demographic Group Plural>.
Americans of good-will with diverse points of view will all agree that experience, intelligence, sensitivity and temperment are all qualities required of a Vice President. Clearly <VP Candidate Title> <VP Candidate Secondname> is not such an individual.
The selection of a Vice Presidental candidate is the first window into the type of incompetent, out of touch and insensitive decisions that Governor Romney will make as President, which is why the only clear choice for office is President Barack Obama.
It is our hope that this information will be found informative and helpful as you assist us in the re-election of President Obama.
Warmest Regards,
Debbie Wasserman Shultz
Chair, DNC