Mrs. ‘Puter prepares to trap the escaped frog by, uh, … . Never mind. Dang, Mrs. ‘Puter’s hot, though.

Did you know that according to the United States Department of Education, public school teachers molest children at nearly 100 times the rate of Roman Catholic priests?

Did you know that because “educators” provide massive, yet involuntary, campaign contributions to Democrat politicians through their unions that public school teachers take far less crap in the sympathetic liberal media than do Roman Catholic priests?

It’s true!

And here are two more examples of the molders of America’s young minds molesting their young charges.

Why does it always seem to be women who get caught banging students? And why do they always get a slap on the wrist?

Meet Amie Lou Neely, a 38 year old teacher and resident of Port St. Lucie, Florida. Not a bad looking teacher, if you ask ‘Puter, based on her mug shot.

Ms. Neely took a shine to a 16 year old Bahamian exchange student under her expert tutelage. Naturally, as all good teachers do, she moved the student into her house, as he clearly needed some assistance.  And as surely as day follows night, Ms. Neely decided she needed to sample a bit of her student’s “exotic cuisine” in the back of her car.

Unfortunately for Ms. Neely, her husband caught her making the beast with two backs with the aforementioned Bahamian minor. Mr. Neely did not take kindly to Ms. Neely sampling her employer’s ware, turning her in to the local constabulary. 

Ms. Neely will now spend some time in the care of the St. Lucie County gaoler, as her husband sure isn’t going to bail her out.

Sra. Footer has seen better days. She seems to be hoping the ladies she’ll be rooming with don’t bust her open like a new pinata on Dia de los Muertos.

Next up, 44 year old foreign language teacher Lisa Footer, late of the Canandaigua Academy and more recently of the Ontario County Jail. Why, that’s in ‘Puter’s neck of the woods, just one exit down the Thruway!  And again, a bit plump, but certainly not a troll, said the piggish ‘Puter, judging by her mug shot.

Señora Footer’s been teaching foreign languages in New York for 22 years, according to her school web page. From the photo on her web page, La Puta Footer seems to have a young son, and ‘Puter assumes a husband who was taking the photo.

Not content with having a job for life with fantastic benefits, a husband and a kid, this cunning linguist decided to go for the gold. She found a 16 year old student under her care willing to get nice in her car in a parking lot on Main Street.

Genius plan, Señora. Now this randy educator’s looking at jail time, though she’ll keep her pension if the union has any say.  Hell, she’ll be on the payroll for another year or so until the Canandaigua School District can wend its way through the Byzantine “due process” mandated by New York law before she can be fired.

So here’s to you, Ms. Neely and Sra. Footer.  Thanks for showing America that a job where half of current employees graduated in the bottom third of their college class really do have something to offer the children, our future. 

Sex with a middle-aged mentally ill woman in the back of a cheap American subcompact.

Man, ‘Puter’s really missed this thread.  It’s about time he resurrected the topic.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.