A sign directs summoned reporters to the location of Mayor Bloomberg’s hastily scheduled press conference. He Who Knows Better Than You explained the judicial ban of his soda ban was ill-considered because the judge is a moron who can’t see that the mayor should be able to do as he wills, so long as it’s for the children.  Really.

‘Puter gleefully notes that the New York State Supreme Court for New York County* kicked Mayor Michael Bloomberg and his creepily fascistic soda ban square in the gonads.

In essence, the court held that Mayor Bloomberg probably should have acted within his Constitutional limitations in dealing with his War on Obesity.  The court stated that Mayor Bloomberg’s plan was “arbitrary and capricious,” legal shorthand for “disconnected from reality and a naked power grab.” If you’d like to read the entire 37 page poorly proofread smackdown of Mayor Bloomberg, you may do so here.

Typical for a rich jerk, Mayor Bloomberg called a press conference to reiterate once again that he, Mayor Bloomberg, is the smartest person in the room, knows what’s best for each and every New Yorker and should be treated with the reverence normally reserved for Jesus Christ himself.**

Interestingly to ‘Puter, Mayor Bloomberg said the following in his press conference:

“As far as we have come, there is one public health crisis that has grown worse and worse over the years, and that is obesity,” [Mayor Bloomberg] said. “Five thousand people will die of obesity this year in New York. The best science tells us that sugary drinks are a cause of obesity.”

And:

“People are dying every day,” Bloomberg said. “This is not a joke. This is about real lives.”

And:

“I’ve got to defend my children, and yours, and do what’s right to save lives,” [Mayor Bloomberg] said. “Obesity kills. There’s no question it kills.”

So let’s get this straight. Mayor Bloomberg holds a press conference to discuss the judge’s evisceration of his signature program, and the mayor discusses everything but the ruling.  Nowhere did Mayor Bloomberg discuss the source of the authority he claims permits him to substitute his judgment for what you should eat for your judgment.

Rather, we’re left with Mayor Bloomberg’s true thoughts.  He is entitled to make food choices for you because he knows better than you, and you’re too stupid to do as he says. Mayor Bloomberg cloaks his argument with “public health” and “the children,” but his argument is far more sinister: “I can ignore constitutional limits on my authority and do whatever I want to citizens, no matter how invasive, so long as I claim it’s for their own good.”

You know what else was defended as “for their own good?”

Think about that next time you listen to a Mika Brzezinski or Mayor Bloomberg extol the virtues of government-controlled food choices.

So-called Progressives are anything but.  They are dedicated to controlling you and limiting your freedoms in the quest for an unobtainable Utopia only they can see clearly enough to bring about.

You have be warned.  Again.

*In New York, the Supreme Courts are trial courts, the Appellate Divisions are the intermediate appellate courts and the Court of Appeals is the court of last resort.

**Yeah, ‘Puter knows Bloomberg is Jewish.  Shut up. That’s why it’s funny, see?

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.