Get Over Yourself: A Thoughtful ‘Puter Response To Czar (Now, With Added RGIII!)
The Media walks home, torn panties and damaged dignity in hand from the Left’s dorm room after a late night booty call. |
‘Puter noted Czar included “‘Puter” as a label on his not-totally-lame post immediately below. ‘Puter guesses that his fellow Gormogons now consider him the go-to guy on LGBT issues. That is, except for your Volgi, who makes a very good argument (with facts and everything!) that ‘Puter’s full of poop on his LGBT stance.
But you didn’t come here to read more about the media’s not-so-latent love affair with all things homosexual.* You came here for some awesome, buttery goodness as ‘Puter lays out the truth for all who will hear.
Czar is dead on correct that coming out in today’s culture is, while personally difficult, not a big deal to anyone anymore. Gays won the debate. The vast majority of America doesn’t care who lane Jason Collins drives, or how he chooses to take the rock to the hole, so long as we don’t have to watch. The media can shut up and move on already.
Famous Black athlete challenges liberal orthodoxy, and the Booty Call Media doesn’t think it’s newsworthy. |
If the media wanted to report on a professional athlete with real courage, they need look no further than ‘Puter’s Redskins’ own star quarterback Robert Griffin III, or @RGIII as he’s known on the Twitter.
Yesterday, Mr. Griffin took a decidedly risky stand, challenging a core liberal belief: political correctness. Mr. Griffin tweeted thus:
In a land of freedom we are held hostage by the tyranny of political correctness
— Robert Griffin III (@RGIII) April 30, 2013
‘Puter’s got no idea whether Mr. Griffin is liberal or conservative, or a nice guy or a jackass.** ‘Puter does know that on this issue, Mr. Griffin is exactly right, and that his position on political correctness is deeply conservative.
Apparently, it’s only newsworthy when a Black professional athlete takes a self-serving, relatively risk free and, most important, liberal approved stance on an issue. When a Black professional athlete takes a stand against a core liberal belief, we get crickets from the media.
‘Puter takes nothing away from Mr. Collins’ personal struggle to decide to be openly gay. But in many ways, Mr. Griffin risked more from outing himself as if not conservative, then certainly not liberal on core issues. Mr. Griffin risked media mockery and sponsor blowback in a way the far less well known Mr. Collins did not.
In the end, neither Mr. Collins nor Mr. Griffin is the real story here. It’s the media. Again and again and again the media shows itself to be nothing more than a booty call for the Left, there for the Left to drunk dial at 3:00 AM knowing full well the media will show up, perform as expected and quietly leave before the Left wakes the next morning.
*Frankly, ‘Puter finds the media’s fawning over gays every bit as telling about their proclivities as the stereotypical homophobic jock’s bullying of gays.
**According to Wikipedia (*shudder*), Mr. Griffin is the son of two Army sergeants, born in Okinawa, as well as an observant Christian. ‘Puter wildly conjectures that a male child raised in a loving, disciplined, religiously observant two parent family will probably turn out well, with a good head on his shoulders. And more likely than not, conservative. ‘Puter awaits @mbernadettee’s abuse for citing to Wikipedia.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.