Have you heard that NBA player Jason Collins is gay? Of course, you have. Did you hear that non-Obama administration figures have indeed solved the Benghazi murders of four Americans and know exactly who did it and where they can be, um, reached? No, of course not—because Jason Collins is gay. The Main Stream Media has their priorities in reporting you know, and there’s only so much time to report on Collins as well as the new Great Gatsby movie.

Oh my God! Yao Ming is Chinese! When was he going to reveal that to us? Whatever will we do?!?

Talk about underwhelming. Jason Collins comes out as gay! The news media goes berserk. Celebrities shoot off fireworks in their front yards. President Obama calls him to thank him for his bravery. It would not surprise us if the President is considering awarding him the Presidential Medal of Freedom for his courage and obvious sacrifice. The LGBT community braces itself for a horrific backlash, and posts guards at each of its gay mosques in preparation for the firebombings.

The public response? A big yawn. The NBA response? Players shrug and say they always knew. The bigger question, people asked, is why we’re paying any attention to an NBA player that is paid a chunk of change but can only score a point or two per game. Let’s look at Collins as a player and a person, not as a gay guy.

Now, in our mind, this should be cause for massive celebration in the LGBT community. A known figure reveals he’s gay, and 99.999% of the public asks what the big deal is. Jason Collins could easily have announced he was—guess what, everybody—a Ford owner! Yeah, he doesn’t like Dodge products. Imagine!

In the decades now that gays have been fighting for acceptance, they have definitive proof that they’re here, they’re queer, and we got over it. Nobody cares anymore; it’s even passé now, just like we don’t get excited by someone doing that Budweiser chant like the burping frogs or give a crap whether Ross and Rachel are getting overly close. The long national nightmare is finally over, and so forth.

Frankly, we would have seen more excitement if Collins had come out to announce he was voting Republican.

But instead, the LGBT community got pissed off over the lack of outrage. We base this on Twitter, where paroxysms of 140-character rants whipped back and forth. How insensitive! The poor guy is wearing his heart on his sleeveless jersey, and no one cares. You Christian bible thumpers just want to ignore us and hope we all go away. Well, we will be heard!

No, dummies: you were heard. We got it a while a back. The entire LGBT community has become a commodity product, like Apple owners, Prius drivers, Advil users, and guys that put synthetic oil in their cars. The buzz is over.

Sorry. Here’re the thing—these folks on Twitter going ape-shit that no one went bat-shit over Collins are folks simply itching for a fight. They thrive on drama. They went nuts when they didn’t have acceptance, and now they had to wheel around and go nuts because no one cared. It isn’t that you need to make up your minds: you people need to get a clue.

Most gays, to be fair, simply shrugged along with the rest of us. Collins is no Danica Patrick (or better, Sara Christian), Jackie Robinson, or Jesse Owens breaking some ridiculous barrier. The fact is he is an under-performing member of a largely disrespected B-team of a sport whose day has long gone.

Sorry if that doesn’t provide enough drama for the media or a sliver of the gay community who really, really wanted there to be outrage and turmoil. Maybe, as has been pointed out repeatedly in the last couple of days, the LGBT community could offer the same respect and indifference when a player comes out as devoutly religious.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.