Gov. Cuomo demonstrates the danger of finger guns before Mayor Bloomberg joins him on stage to introduce their joint legislative proposal “Fingerguns Under Control of Kids Kill Us Act,” or as it is widely known, Cuomo’s FUCKKU Act.

‘Puter’s a casual hunter, and an even more casual sport shooter. He’s got a fair number of firearms, ranging from .177 caliber air gun up to a .50 caliber black powder rifle, not to mention the obligatory 12 gauge and 20 gauge shotguns. ‘Puter’s acquired most of his firearms out of immediate need or passing interest.  As he said, ‘Puter’s pretty darned casual about the whole hunting/shooting lifestyle.

‘Puter did secure his New York concealed carry permit back in 2009 or so, right after Obama’s election, not necessarily because he feared Obama specifically, but more because one can never be too certain of one’s Second Amendment rights when liberal Democrats control Washington. Secondarily, ‘Puter got his pistol permit because New York state is now and forever more will be run by liberal Democrats who hate guns.  ‘Puter was betting that sooner or later either Washington or Albany would make a run at his gun rights.

And ‘Puter was correct.

Governor Cuomo, justifying his unconstitutional firearms restrictions by waving the barely cooled corpses of the Newtown Massacre victims, crammed an insane guns bill through New York’s corrupt and laughable legislature in record time without offering opportunity for review, reflection or comment.

As a result, ‘Puter now lives in a state where the government has made it virtually impossible for ‘Puter to exercise his second amendment rights.  If you don’t believe ‘Puter, check out Cuomo’s own website, or simply read on for some lowlights of the so-called SAFE Act:

‘Puter can’t purchase ammunition now without sitting through a background check, for which he may be charged. ‘Puter can’t own an AR-15 knockoff, one of the most commonplace rifles in America today, regardless of magazine capacity. ‘Puter can’t utilize the full capacity of the 10 round magazines he’s entitled to own. ‘Puter can’t gift a firearm to a grandchild unless he gets a background check on his grandson. If ‘Puter owned an alleged “assault weapon,” he’d have to register it. ‘Puter now has to renew his pistol permit every 5 years, which was never required before. When renewing his pistol permit, ‘Puter is now required to disclose every firearm he owns, not just the handguns.

Like he said about 437 paragraphs ago, ‘Puter’s never been a gun nut. But in order to preserve his ability to acquire firearms and ammunition that he might at some point want to get in the future, ‘Puter’s determined to learn to reload, which as of yet hasn’t been banned in New York. ‘Puter already secured his pistol permit (even though he doesn’t currently own a pistol) in response to New York’s increased restrictions on pistol ownership.

Think about it.

It’s liberal dogma that Americans can’t be trusted to own firearms, so the government has to do something about it, preferably instituting an outright firearms ban as in Chicago and Washington, DC. So liberal legislatures and executives, most of whom have never handled a firearm though cocooned by security officers who actively carry the hated/feared weapons, dutifully enact ill-considered legislation that has no impact on gun violence.

Criminals don’t follow laws, by definition. Cuomo’s crap-tastic gun laws only impact law abiding citizens who cause precisely none of the problems Cuomo claimed would be solved by his intrusive overreach. Criminals are still going to carry illegal guns, and use those guns illegally, no matter what Cuomo and the Legislature say or do.

But now Cuomo’s created a new problem. He’s turned law abiding gun owners against law enforcement and the state. Gun owners are not going to meekly register guns they already legally owned, and they’re sure as Hell not going to throw away their pre-ban 30 round magazines. Cuomo’s created a law enforcement nightmare where none existed before.

Additionally, Cuomo’s pushed gun owners like ‘Puter into reloading, which is practically untraceable. If ‘Puter, one of the least mechanically inclined people he knows, is taking up reloading to avoid the coming ammunition shortages and general ass ache associated with purchasing ammunition, how many hundreds or thousands of New Yorkers are doing the same?

Cuomo’s vaunted SAFE Act doesn’t affect criminals, makes criminals of regular citizens and increases disrespect for government generally.

Cuomo’s signature legislation is nothing more than a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. And in the end, like Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Cuomo’s tyrannical government will fall, undone by his hubris.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.