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Grandmother Paradox

The Gormogons Posted on by
You can go back in time, but DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING…wait, maybe not touching anything will change the future…I HATE TEMPORAL MECHANICS!

The Grandfather Paradox is the idea that if you had a time machine, (like GorT) and you went back in time and murdered your grandfather, would you cease to exist? Would you have never existed such that you couldn’t go back in time? Or would you get bitch-slapped by the fates with predestination paradox and end up marrying grandma and becoming your own grandfather (you do share, after all, 25% of your DNA with him, so it isn’t that much of a stretch, correct)?

Well, Gentle Reader, don’t let your friend Chelsea Clinton anywhere near GorT’s time machine, nor offer her the opportunity to become the 12th (13th?) Doctor’s companion, because she can seriously fuck up the time stream.

An Artist Rendition of the 1997 Planned Parenthood Convention

Chelsea was worshiping at the altar of Moloch last month when she stated:

[Her much-admired maternal grandmother was the child of unwed teenage parents who] “did not have access to services that are so crucial that Planned Parenthood helps provide.”

So let us digest that for a moment. What services does Planned Parenthood provide?

  1. They provide free education to young people with the hope that said education would reduce the likelihood of getting pregnant should the young people decide to become sexually active before they are prepared to be parents.
  2. They provide gynecologic examinations with the primary purpose of providing affordable prescriptions for  birth control medications and implantation of devices. (Yeah, yeah, screen for breast cancer (aka perform a breast exam), but that’s standard of care for a woman’s annual exam, and folks are getting them as part of 2, unless they are declining them. They’re not coming in for just a breast exam based on the numbers.)
  3. Terminating pregnancies should services 1 and 2 fail. 
In other words they’re in the ‘not making babies’ business. Therefore if Chelsea Clinton got her wish, her maternal grandmother would perhaps never have been born, meaning that Hillary Clinton would never have been born. Without Hillary, Bill would have perhaps married a very different Yale law student, and have spent his life as a California congressman, or perhaps Senator. More importantly, perhaps Richard M. Nixon would never have left office. It staggers the imagination what kind of world would come to pass. 
The times, they are a changin’.
But most obvious, and most deliciously ironic consequence of her statement is that if her great-grandmother had had access to Planned Parenthood’s services, and took them up on those services, neither Hillary nor Chelsea would have ever been born.
Dr. J. doesn’t know who is stupider, Progressives or the idiots who put them in power.
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