All right, it has come down to this so the Czar pretty much is going to come out and say it: Barack Obama is not fooling anyone anymore.

Set aside the polls showing his support collapsing (except in the African-hyphen-American community), his apparent failures in gun control, increased spending measures, and foreign policy incompetence, and catastrophic toxicity of Obamacare—and soon, we expect, his hallowed immigration bill will die in the House—as nearly all second-term presidents go through hell.

Rather, it is time for the majority of Americans to realize that Barack Obama is hardly the intellectual giant he consistently portrayed himself as. His anti-Catholic speech in Ireland, followed closely by his incoherence in Berlin, shows that his intellect is maybe an inch thick at best.

Like that guy at the bar who keeps bringing up the same tired arguments that each of you debunked months if not years ago. “Here we go again,” you think, your eyes rolling.

And while the Czar has reprimanded folks for the stupid obsession about the President’s birth certificate, the fact remains that his college transcripts remain elusively sealed. Want to know why? Come on, everybody, you know why: he had slightly to substantively worse grades than George W. Bush.

Remember that guy? For eight years, popular culture was ordered to portray Bush as a dithering wahoo idiot, barely able to put a sentence together that was not pre-scripted, and unable to understand how things worked. God knows he secretly harbored hatred of freedom and liberty. His success was simply because someone in some position of authority or social standing managed to pave the way for him.

Yet, this is a better description of Barack Obama than George Bush. In reality, historians and journalists are admitting, Bush was a fast-thinker, erudite, and sympathetic to a fault with people’s problems. He was a superb business leader, and staffers complained that he would pre-empty their reports by reaching the right conclusions and asking you for information you had not fully prepared yet.

So if you are working on a campaign the Obama, whom you will remember was run as a joke to begin with, the first thing you will want to do is cover up his crappy grades. And keep them that way: we know that the Obama presidency continues to live in fear of the Bush presidency by how often the former continues to reference the latter. To this day, the handlers know what will happen if we learn that Bush got better grades overall.

But not to worry: Obama was declared—not once but several times—the smartest man to hold that office since Thomas Jefferson (and probably smarter than him). However, we see that he was not a Constitutional law professor, but a part-time lecturer on the Constitution (and a controversial one at that), he remains uninterested in business and foreign policy, routinely ignores briefings, and seems to be terribly unversed in basic political concepts. He was hardly a well-read man fluent on a variety of arts and sciences, but a guy who hung out with punks and smoked weed in college.

The Czar will put it simply: Barack Obama is an intellectual lightweight. He coasted through high school as a kid with money and influence, dabbled in easy courses in college while enjoying a life of leisure and partying, and got by using the race card and people willing to cover for him. Whenever he needed to change his life story—today he is a Kenyan, tomorrow a Hawaiian mulatto, on Saturday a tough, urban black, on Sunday a politically connected rich kid—he did so in a Forrest Gump way to ensure he was always in the right place at the right time. And why not—with no true sense of self, no moral compass, it is easy to reinvent yourself in a second.

He flitted from position to position, never actually working and never actually learning anything. Meantime, he read the anti-books. Not the classics, not the basics, but the alternative literature that told him not to waste his time with the classics and basics. He is not the guy who read Platos’s The Republic, but read Philosophy for Dummies instead.

This is not to say that Obama’s entire life is a sham. He clearly achieved much at a young age, sacrificed for his family, and is an American success story no matter what we think of his intentions. But none of this serves as evidence that Barack Obama is a deeply smart man. He is an educated man, sure, but that can mean many things (not all of them savory). Indeed, his mental prowess seems to consist of playing the system. He knows how to associate himself with people who give him what he wants or needs; he knows how to take credit and avoid blame; he knows how to hustle.

But this also bitter, angry, vituperative, petty man, who speaks incoherently when off script, who believes Americans have been given too much freedom, who continues to fight quixotic battles against imaginary opponents at the expense of real ones, and seems incapable of engaging on serious issues fulfills much of the Left’s caricature of George W. Bush. The reality, probably, is that he is nothing more than what his history portrays him to be: a lucky kid who hustled his way into incredible power but has no genuine roots in the intellectual foundations his position requires.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.