This annoys us.

AP has written a gripping, inspiring story of an Uruguayan man who survived four months of brutal winter conditions in the Andes. Remarkable human endurance, the story goes, with quotes about the 58-year-old man being a “good, hard-working man…Everybody knows him…where he never had troubles with anybody.” “Brave and daring,” and an “excellent companion.”

The story describes how he used cunning and ingenuity to live off the land, eating mice and apparently an owl. He is truly a “warrior,” and thankfully he is doing very well recovering in a hospital. He is expected to make a full recovery.

There is of course the small matter that he is a child sex predator, which is mentioned for one paragraph. That sullies the hagiography a bit, to be sure, but otherwise does explain why he bolted into the Andes to escape.

You know, the Czar might have taken a different turn with this story, perhaps mentioning how serious the crimes were that would push him to flee, and maybe discuss how probably the charges were. He would then recount the little bit that is known about his flight and his near-death capture by authorities. He probably would neglect to mention what a swell, brave, and virtuous guy the accused is because, you know, the whole child sex thing.

But then again, the Czar is not looking to mainstream adult-child rape the way the mainstream media is.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.