There is unusually good news—seemingly—in the hell of Illinois politics.

As you may recall, there were three leading Democrats competing for the 2014 gubernatorial election.

Pat Quinn is the current governor of Illinois, and polls seem to indicate that Illinois residents would prefer to suffer from botulism than see him re-elected. In a recent poll, Quinn ranked dead last in popularity. Given how he and his predecessor have trashed Illinois’ tech-boom fortunes and put Illinois on the brink of insolvency, there is good reason for that. That, plus his unwillingness to work with members of either party, ensures he may be the worst governor in the United States right now. Hard to say.

Lisa Madigan is the state’s attorney general, and also happens to be daughter of the Chicago political machine, Michael Madigan. When people talk about the Chicago machine, this is the guy they mean. He’s been pulling strings in Chicago (and therefore Illinois) politics for decades. Lisa, aware of “conflicts of interest” that could arise with her as governor, bowed out of the election some time ago.

Bill Daley is the brother of ex-Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley, and both were the sons of the scary Richard J. Daley. Daley—who was also Obama’s chief of staff—was crushing Quinn in polls, but was far, far behind in raising money. The reason for this is that Bill Daley knows nothing about campaigning, despite being attached to many successful campaigns of other folks. He missed countless opportunities to get his name before the public, showed up with no supporters at various events, and basically whimpered his campaign along.

He dropped out of the race yesterday, leaving Quinn virtually uncontested as the Democratic candidate. During Daley’s press conference yesterday (or “presser,” as two-digit IQ bearers call them), he mentioned that with Quinn unopposed, a Republican will be elected governor of Illinois almost by default.

Let us talk about the top four GOP candidates for governor.

Kirk Dillard is a current state senator and is fairly popular in that position; he has run for governor before (unsuccessfully), but usually got edged out in primaries. This is easily his best chance to be elected governor, given Quinn’s unpopularity and Dillard’s name recognition around the state.

Dan Rutherford is the incumbent state treasurer, and is doing well in polls. He is a major threat to Dillard, but meets the criteria for a good Republican candidate. There is little to dislike about him—he is a staunch pro-Reaganite.

Most Illinois politics are like this.

Another Illinois Senator is Bill Brady. He ran against Pat Quinn in 2010, hoping to prevent exactly the catastrophe that happened when Quinn was elected. Brady lost by 31,000 votes. The picture to the right shows how good Brady actually did: those are the 2010 results. Brady took a far-right position on everything: lower taxes, liberalization of firearm laws, pro-life, lowering of minimum wage—pretty much across the board.

Bruce Rauner is an interesting fellow. Not a politician, he is from the world of private business. A major donor to charities, Rauner is a very reform-minded candidate intending to reduce the size of state government, introduce term limits for most officials, and so on. Although he is trailing in the polls, he may be the most important of the four candidates.

Rauner is also fairly good friends with current Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel: the latter continues to use him for business growth advice in the city. Rumors from inside the Illinois political world are running riot with the highly plausible theory that Rauner is responsible for Daley’s dropping out of the race.

You see, Emanuel hates Pat Quinn, and is good pals with Bill Daley. Daley and Emanuel believe that Quinn is toast, but that Rauner—well, that’s a guy that Emanuel trusts as governor. If a Republican is going to win, make it easier. Have the lackluster Bill Daley drop out, have Chicago politicians endorse Rauner, and watch the money pour in.

Sound crazy? Sure, but this is Illinois. And to make things really sting, Daley was asked by a reporter if he would endorse Quinn. Daley replied he would not. When asked if he would then endorse a Republican candidate, Daley declined to answer.

Personally, the Czar finds it unlikely that Emanuel would betray the Democratic machine; it would be more likely for Emanuel to contact his Washington friends and find a new Democratic candidate to go against the Republicans. Illinois Democrats are extremely good at leg-sweeping the painfully inept Illinois Republican party, and managed to overcome strong Republican candidates time and again with notoriously shitty people.

But the Illinois Republican party has made numerous and significant personnel changes lately, and continues to reform itself for the better. And frankly, any of the four GOP candidates are exceptionally good compared to anyone the Democrats have lined up.

There is a very strong expectation that Illinois will join the 30 other states featuring Republican governors. And with Quinn’s uncooperative arrogance on the side of the Democrats in the legislature, there is a good bet that a Republican governor can enact massive reforms and financial corrections that will shift the state from blue to red… and from in the red to in the black.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.