Some recent productions that have been greenlit in Hollywood caught our attention.

Leave It To Beaver, starring Saoirse Ronan and Benedict Cumberbatch, will be a dark, gritty reimagining of life in Mayfield. Beaver, haunted by a mysterious childhood tragedy, is forced to choose between throwing away everything he believed in or taking a dangerous risk to prove himself right and put his old ghosts to rest. Paramount, May 5, 2014.

Ronan is now threatening to be the Gene Hackman or Brian Dennehy of the 2010s: in every movie possible.

Burns and Allen, starring Saoirse Ronan and Benedict Cumberbatch, will be a dark, gritty reimagining of the lives of George Burns and Gracie Allen. Burns, haunted by the death of a former standup partner, is forced to choose between risking it all on the untested Gracie Allen or going solo to put his old ghosts to rest. Fox, June 5, 2014.

The Dinah Shore Show, starring Saoirse Ronan and Benedict Cumberbatch, will be a dark, gritty reimagining of the classic variety show. Dinah, haunted by a struggling automotive sponsor, is forced to choose between “Que Sera Sera” or using a new number to put her old ghosts to rest. Buena Vista, July 5, 2014.

Adam 12, starring Jaden Smith and Saoirse Ronan, will be a dark, gritty comedy about two foolish Los Angeles police department cops. Malloy and Reed are almost completely incompetent, but Malloy, haunted by a mysterious academy tragedy, is forced to choose between his partying lifestyle and realizing the woman he loves (Benedict Cumberbatch) has been there the whole time. Fox, August 5, 2014.

No, No, Nanette, starring Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz, examines how the small, conservative town of Flyover, Iowa, is turned upside-down by gay divorcee Nanette and her liberal lifestyle. Soon, even the racist, homophobic town preacher is transformed into a new, wonderfully highly sexualized person after being caught up by her modernizing spirit. Sundance, September 5, 2014.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.