Before we get too far away from the original debate, Operative BJ sent us his closing thoughts about six days ago. But the Czar was busy, you know, what with trying on hats and getting the Castle dormitory television to show the Olympics. It is a 1957 Philco, and high definition is a heckuva trick, trust us.

Your Majesty,

Several operatives insist on extolling the benefits of mandatory national service, or that it is achievable, or that the problem would be how the political parties would manipulate it, or comparing it to Roosevelt’s voluntary work programs…

I see only one way for mandatory national service, a.k.a conscription, to proceed: every 18-year old serves for 2 years. Every damn one. Like Noah’s ark: male and female. If there are any exceptions, the immediate result would be the Animal Farm parity analysis: all 18-year olds are equal, but some are more equal than others.

No religious exemptions (“conscientious objectors” can work in the supply depot), no exemptions for study (you must serve before you are accepted to any higher-education institution), medical exemptions only for serious conditions (type 1 diabetes, step 2 asthma or above, missing limbs, Downs or other serious syndromes, etc) – no exemptions except for those that physically or mentally prohibit service. None.

If we’re going to conscript, it needs to be done across the board. And no rewards for conscription. However, college credit at a state school would be an appropriate compensation for those who do not wish to continue in the service after their mandatory 2 years.

Officer candidates would be chosen from those who have completed at least 2 years of service. No conscripts would be accepted into OCS during their first 2 years, regardless of whether they were Eagle Scouts or a rich daddy’s child. Thus, every conscript is treated the same: as an entry-level recruit who must prove their worth, without privilege, without bias (hopefully), and based solely on their performance.

And then we’d be stuck with the same problem we had during “the draft”: angry parents, angry recruits, and an angry nation.

No thanks.

(backing away, bowing profusely)

Operative BJ

The Czar agrees with these points.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.