The campaign of Wendy Davis has gone beyond the comical to the outright horrific. Political science students really ought to study it, from its initial sensationalism of vagina costumes and tampon throwers and chants of “Hail Satan,” all the way to its utter, eventual defeat in disgrace. Yes, Wendy Davis is so bad a candidate that polling organizations evidently haven’t bothered to run a single poll since November, 2013. And at that point, her competition had half the vote locked up.

So as she and her dwindling supporters thought it funny to mock her disabled competitor’s disabilities, she has made some changes. Notably, she is now supporting open carry of firearms, and has announced¡ready?—that she is more-or-less pro-life, now. All of a sudden.

What a putz. Thank goodness the folks in Texas have brains that are big and bright and see her for the utter moron that she is.

Meanwhile, desperately poor Sandra Fluke has cobbled together enough cash not to buy birth control but to run for Congress. Yes, with all seriousness, she announced that based on her openly limited life experiences, she was somehow qualified to run for Congress. Then, someone showed her some theoretical polling data. So now she is aiming for a smaller, state assembly position or something. Maybe.

More interestingly, we see American Idol Clay Aiken is not only running for Congress, but has begun to trash-talk President Obama. To his credit, Aiken made some amazing comments that showed a degree of common sense: he is annoyed with questions about his homosexuality, saying that (a) this is really not the basis of his platform, (b) the question of same sex marriage is a state issue, not a federal one so stop asking him about his views on it, and (c) can we talk about the real issues of the day?

This is promising maturity, but unfortunately he’s running as a Democrat—so this sobriety will not test well with potential Democratic voters that want to hear him talk about anything but unemployment and the economy. Remember: the fact you and your Claymates have to sell your homes because of income loss is a good thing, according to Democrats. Aiken ought to be encouraging Democrats to hang out with their kids now, assuming they weren’t prevented by Fluke or aborted by Davis.

Add in the last couple of years with Anthony Weiner, Elliot Spitzer, and the immediately predicable disaster that is the De Blasio mayorship, you could well ask yourself what the hell is happening. Back in 2012, weren’t the Democrats all high-fiving themselves about how they were the ultimate destiny of the United States?

If the Democrats had better candidates than this, they would run them. Yes, they had odd success with Senator “Sleeping Dogs Lie” Warren and Mayor “¡Muerte Para Los Yanquis!” De Blasio, but these races were closer than the victors will admit. And we all know that the Obama re-election was not only a closer call than it sounded, but that most of the Obama campaign staffers assumed Romney would win in a blow out. The 2012 Democratic comeback wasn’t so much an “told-ya-so” but a collective yawp of survival.

The Czar informed you of this little trick of elections back in 2012, and warned you even earlier of that when it was the GOP’s inability to field stronger candidates than Allan Keyes. The Democratic party is running out of candidates.

Why? Two overlapping reasons: first, the Republicans are dominating the state and local elections in most areas of the country. This means that there are fewer Democrats working their way up the office ladder. Second, because of this, the only real Democratic candidates are coming from far-left locations like big cities and moron college towns. As a result, they are so polarizing in their views that independents cannot stomach them in most locations. Thus, you have your Warren and de Blasio victories (but they cannot go much further, politically), but also wind up with gag candidates like Aiken and Fluke and whatever category you put Davis in.

And let us pause for a moment and look at Hillary Clinton. The real discussion is whether she can beat Joe Biden in a primary. Clinton is weak and a one-time loser with a well-understood process of how to beat her. She has no accomplishments whatsoever to her name. So nationally the question for Democrats is Biden or Clinton? This should scare the hell out of Democrats: these two are the best they can do?

You know why Democrats are not in a panic? They trust the Republicans will perform as expected. But while there is copious and sad history to back that up, time is running out on that backup plan when the Democratic candidates are increasingly weakening.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.