A falcon left a dead mouse on our windowsill yesterday. As the Czar went to flick it off the sill down into the guest parking lot, the Czar noticed a small note tied to its leg. Indeed, the note read as follows:

Божию Милостию, Император и Самодержец Всероссийский:

I write in response to your post regarding the Ninth Circuit’s recent decision in the matter of Peruta v. San Diego. You are absolutely correct that the Supreme Court will likely take up this issue, and as a resident of the People’s Republic of New York I must say about time. However, we may not have to wait for San Diego to appeal the decision, as the issue is already pending on the Court’s docket in the matter of Drake v. Jereijian. Drake was one of a number of individual plaintiffs who were joined by the Second Amendment Foundation and the Association of New Jersey Pistol and Rifle Clubs in suing New Jersey over its ‘may-issue’ carry scheme. Not surprisingly, the District Court and Third Circuit court of appeals held that although the Second Amendment extends beyond the lintel of one’s door, regulations regarding its exercise are subject to intermediate scrutiny. The courts then proceeded to apply a highly deferential rational basis review, call it intermediate scrutiny, and wipe the entrails of a G-d given, Constitutionally enumrated right from their hands. The instant appeal ensued, and New Jersey has until March 14 of this year to reply.

This is not the first time the matter has been brought to the court’s attention. The Second Circuit in Kachalsky v. Cacace and the Fourth Circuit in Woolard v. Gallagher both performed similar eviscerations on the right to bear arms as pertaining to New York’s and Maryland’s licensing schemes, respectively, but the petitions for certiorari to the Supreme Court were denied. The Seventh Circuit in Moore v. Madigan held that Illinois’ complete ban on the concealed carry of handguns was unconstitutional, and fearing a loss in the Supreme Court, Illinois chose not to appeal.

It is widely speculated among gun-owning Supreme Court-watchers (a narrow sliver in the Venn diagram) that the Court was waiting for a result in the Ninth Circuit before accepting a concealed carry case, and therefore passed on the opportunity to rule in Kachalsky or Woolard. Now they have it. A clear split, with the Seventh and Ninth upholding the Right to Bear Arms and the Second, Third, and Fourth reducing it to a dead letter.

The Second, Third, and Fourth circuits encompass the states of Connecticut, New York, Vermont, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and the United States Virgin Islands, with a combined total population of approximately 76.83 million Americans, or approximately 25 percent of the country’s population. While not all of those states are as restrictive of firearms ownership as New York and Maryland, the fact remains that according to the law as it stands today, those 76.83 million Americans are at the mercy of their legislatures with respect to an enumerated Constitutional right, and can expect no help from the judiciary. Indeed, here in New York, many formerly law-abiding gun owners are at risk of becoming misdemeanants or felons by virtue of the recent “SAFE” act, named with Orwellian aplomb.

It is my most fervent hope that the Supreme Court will take up the issue before it in Drake v. Jereijia, and restore the right to bear arms to all Americans. To the extent that you or anyone at the Castle has any influence on the Court or its members, this loyal minion would be greatly indebted to ваша светлость if you could… see what you can do.

Humbly,

S.G.
Royal Falconer of Castle Gormogon
By Appointment to Его Величеств, Царь без преувеличения, принцип

We will see what we can do—Ghettoputer is our influence on all such matters and he is mercurial to say the least. By curious coincidence, he is waddling around the Castle this morning after spending most of yesterday test-firing his new crotch-fired punt gun. It is most amusing to see him get up and down the stairs today.

An additional event is currently happening that is unrelated to your analysis but is reflected in your comment about how many Americans are affected by bad legislation: in Connecticut, you are well aware, there is a mandatory registration for all rifles and rifle owners. Interestingly, very few people have registered their rifles with the State, and not only is it presumed to be a small minority, but Connecticut law enforcement is not making any indications that they will enforce the scofflaws. They have, instead, kicked over to the State’s Attorney“s office and basically said “This is your mess; you go arrest everybody.” One suspects that even in areas where the Constitution is less supported, local law enforcement is not about to be the bad guy here.

Heh. You kids with your modern, Л33тspeak Russian.

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй, if you want to be exact.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.