Sorry we missed you, but there was such a secret meeting of the minds of the Gormogons in Chicago yesterday, that we could not tell you about it. Or ‘Puter. But GorT, Volgi, and your Czar got together at the Yuet Lung restaurant in downtown Chicago and ran up a ridiculous tab.

For those of you who were in the restaurant yesterday, we (a) hope you enjoyed a riveting discussion on sports, what’s wrong with various generations of kids, and climate change, and (b) apologize for the abusive language and shocking displays of vulgarity (or perhaps, Volgirity).

Dr. J. was of course away on vital business, and the Mandarin had to withdraw at the last moment as he spent the day with his son on a school event. However, he was nice enough to send us a picture of the two of them having fun “correcting” the rides’ scare factors at Haunted Trails, outside Joliet.

‘Puter was probably at the Castle wondering why no one was answering their phones.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.