There have been remarkably few moments in the history of the Secret Service that were objectionable, thank goodness. Given their mission, and how much they prevent, the Secret Service cannot allow a single mistake to occur. When mistakes happen, things can be immediately terrifying for the nation; fortunately, even when the rare mistake occurs, the Secret Service recovers and corrects the problem without a tragedy.

But come on: if you added up all the mistakes the Secret Service has made between presidents Grant and Bush, they would not add up to the number of bonehead mistakes made since 2009. Do we have to say it?

Perhaps we do. Many government process junkies are wondering what the hell is going on with the Secret Service today. Are they understaffed? Overstaffed? Underpaid? Overpaid? Poor morale? Poor understanding of mission?

Allow the Czar to explain.

Anytime the Secret Service makes a mistake, it’s big news. And rightly so: the results can be spectacularly bad for world history. When a nutjob climbs the White House fence and sprints across the lawn—reportedly the second breach in as many weeks—the world takes notice.

When a Department of State flunkie dumps documents regarding Benghazi because they could be embarrassing to Secretary Clinton, not many folks take notice. When an IRS supervisor orders intimidation of conservative groups seeking non-profit status, not enough people take notice of that, either.

When the Department of Justice refuses to investigate criminal activities damaging to Democrats, but aggressively pursues local police departments rumored to have been rough on black teenagers, that makes no news. And so on.

The problem here is the same for all these stories: competent governmental directors, managers, supervisors, and personnel have been dumped in favor of under-qualified political appointees.

We have heard time and again here at the Castle from our minions and operatives who lurk deep in the government’s bowels (better them than you, admit it) that every government agency and organization consists of two types of employees: the doers who loathe their jobs more and more, and the managers who express no special talents, no understanding of their jobs, and no work history.

From the top, trickling down, our government agencies have become infested with leadership no more talented, no more motivated, no more experienced, no more skilled, and no more seasoned than a seventh grader. With groups as red-hot as the Secret Service, this lack of adult leadership shows. But trust us—this same level of incompetence extends to the Departments of Commerce, Energy, and Labor.

Think back over the last five years, and name a department reporting to the Junior-Varsity-in-Chief that hasn’t been affected by some scandal. Health and Human Services? Check. Veterans’ Affairs? Check. Treasury? Check. HUD? Defense? Good God.

What about the Department of the Interior? Seriously, the last scandal you remember if you are the Czar’s age is the Teapot Dome scandal. But take note: you may not see any news on it, but the DoI has had more scandals since Obama became president than any other administration combined, ranging from the handling of the BP oil spill, to the inability of the secretary to account for its expenses, to accusations that the Department is actively concealing information regarding the safety of mining operations in order to push an environmental agenda. Not to mention the Keystone XL pipeline, although the DoI’s involvement there is somewhat fuzzier compared to the President’s own interventions.

The point of all this is to underscore how horribly mismanaged this administration is. And it isn’t going to get any better: expect forehead slaps all the way to the end of 2016. Things really are this bad.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.