It’s the end of the year, when journalists take off for two weeks for the holidays, but try to pretend they’re always on the clock by writing, often weeks in advance, their annual top ten lists. See, this way, the … Continue reading →
Most Americans—and by far, most—think Democrats’ current college plans are laughable at best. A few coastal clusters, to be sure, think both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have great ideas, but most people are just shaking their heads and wondering … Continue reading →
The Czar likes to post movie reviews on their actual opening weekends, just in case our loyal readers are sorta on the fence about seeing the movie. Of course, this review is for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and the … Continue reading →
Operative JTS writes in after a couple of years—he’s been on a project to travel every road less taken in order to end the nonsense of inequality—to say, well, hello: It has been a while and to be frank, I … Continue reading →
Kind of a weird debate last night. First, a quick rundown of the participants from house left to right. Gov. John Kasich. By now, you’ve heard about his weird hand gestures all night, and yes—they were the subject of much … Continue reading →
You haven’t heard of Lincolnshire, Illinois, and likely don’t care to know much about it. It’s a nice, northern suburb of Chicago, with nice homes, good schools, and a Jewish population so large its residents kiddingly refer to it as … Continue reading →
Fish has long been a trendy food item. Five years ago, they were giving monkfish away as an unpopular entrée; today—due to its sudden popularity in Europe and other places—it’s now selling for $12 a pound. In a few more … Continue reading →
The Czar has kids, like many of you and all of the Gormogons (many of whom admit it, too). Many readers of a certain age recall well their grade school days, and will likely remember the handful of days spent … Continue reading →
Operative B has been thinking about firearms. O Fearsome One, This lowly minion was discussing the attack in San Bernardino online and in a Facebook thread (yes, I know: self-flagellation would be more productive) and was making progress helping an … Continue reading →
Mass shootings are awful. Politicized mass shootings are worse. The New York Times editorializing on politicized mass shootings is worst of all. ‘Puter awakened this morning, dreading opening the New York Times, knowing full well the hallucinogen induced alternate reality … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn, known to lurk about West Seneca, New York—and not that execrable East Seneca, New York—is well aware that your Gormogons are instantly violent in the presence of Esperanto speakers, and indeed our dungeons are filled with several of … Continue reading →
Speaking of GorT, he did the Czar a really big favor recently. Stuck for a vacation spot, the Czar complained that all the good places really worth taking the kids to were pretty much not all that great anymore. “Well, … Continue reading →
GorT, like most of the rest of the Gormogons, enjoys cooking (meaning: grilling, smoking, and so forth). Several of us have shared recipes and tips in the past, but to my recollection, we haven’t discussed our choices for Thanksgiving. Mrs. … Continue reading →
“Settled Science” – if it isn’t a term of ridicule, it should be. Anyone who claims that with regards to Anthropogenic Global Warming or more broadly, climate change is a fool and likely failed high school level science. Stay with … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s had it with the effete, gelded liberals currently running the country, whether in the Obama Administration, in the media, or on college campuses. Not content to have destroyed America’s universities, these self-important know nothings have set out to ruin … Continue reading →
From JAB. Hey there — just wondering if y’all in the Castle are paying attention to the shenanigans going on in some of this nation’s finest institutions of higher education? [Hint- nothing to do with imparting knowledge.] In brief: Yale … Continue reading →
ScottO writes in regarding this recent post: Most Estimable GorTechie, While reading your post “Convenient Settled Science”, when I got to your question of how the action advocates know the earth isn’t coming out of the last ice age, I … Continue reading →
The Czar has been pretty well out of it lately. Sure, there was a time change—for you, you gain and hour of sleep and the worst that happens is you get hungry an hour earlier. When a Gormogon goes through … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since GorT went on a climate change rant so I figured I’d fire one up today. Maybe it’s because I was trolled on twitter with this Mother Jones graphic. Or because I offered up the following … Continue reading →
Operative B has some good observations here: Your Majesty, The latest enemy of both Hillary and Bernie is – the “big banks”. They want to take them down, tear them apart, rid them of profits. And they want to do … Continue reading →
Today marks the 200th birthday of George Boole. Who? George Boole was an English professor and researcher who, while teaching at Queen’s College in Cork, Ireland (now University College Cork), set forth the underpinnings for what we refer to now … Continue reading →
If you totally missed the debates last night and were only skimming news about them today—or, one supposes, you did see the debates and were skimming headlines anyway—you would be forgiven for thinking nothing happened on the debates except for … Continue reading →
Operative B wants to clarify his comments in regard to a recent exchange the two of us had on the nature of Republicans, and whether they were more like Democrats than people realize. The Czar takes the opinion that modern … Continue reading →
‘Puter hasn’t written much lately. He’s been awfully busy at work. But ‘Puter’s always thinking. It’s what he does best. Or, at least, what he does least poorly. Hillary, Benghazi, and Republican Idiocy Hillary “won” the Benghazi Committee hearing by … Continue reading →
Operative B wrote into the Czar with a question he’s seen in a few places, really: what the hell is wrong with the GOP? More specifically, he wants to know what happened to defunding Planned Parenthood? Or the EPA? What … Continue reading →
Castle visitors can be all ready for the holidays with our brand new selection of Christmas wraiths. Welcome your holiday visitors into your home by decorating your doors with any of these lovelies! Be bold! The PhantomWarning looks completely solid, but lacks … Continue reading →
The Czar has been quite behind in his email, and hasn’t been able to get to all of it. He does mostly read it, though. Here are some that stood out. From Operative B: Your Greatness, It occurs to this … Continue reading →
As loyal readers know, the Czar does unpleasant things so you don’t have to, such as watching political debates. And while the Czar is traditionally pretty brutal to the Republican candidates after a debate, he is certain to include the … Continue reading →
GorT is fairly fed up with the news and much of what he reads on social media. The composite picture of a republican or conservative in this country as portrayed by the combination of social and traditional media, to include … Continue reading →
About 4:00 in the morning of June 25, 1950, ten North Korean divisions poured down into South Korea, overwhelming local forces and American troops in short order. Within four hours, the South Korean government called the United States, pleading for … Continue reading →
At long last, police superintendent Garry McCarthy is facing significant heat for the ridiculous crime rate in the city of Chicago, with numerous high-ranking city voices calling out loudly for his firing. Is CPD Supt McCarthy as incompetent as his … Continue reading →
Due to the installation of newer carpeting in the Castle Gormogon’s Human Resources department, please be advised that from October 6—October 10, all Gormogon human resources matters will be conducted from our Alternate Secret Headquarters of Doom location, at Westmoreland … Continue reading →
Operative B writes in with some salience about the carpet in here. He also mentions some other things. O Dread One! This lowly minion comes before you on hands and knees (by the way, you need new carpeting in front … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →I have to admit that this week has been inspiring. My Facebook feed hasn’t been filled with garbage – only positive stories and experiences. I’m sure between John Boehner’s resignation, more Clinton emails being released, and something that Trump did … Continue reading →
The Czar had this unsigned message hurled into the head of a Tcho-Tcho, as a brick carefully tied to a piece of paper. More curiously, the note was scrawled onto the brick; the paper was blank. Perhaps an atavistic envelope? … Continue reading →
As you may have heard, Pope Francis arrived in the United States yesterday for his first visit. The Pope will visit Washington, Philadelphia, and New York City during his stay. As most newscasters have little to no comprehension of any … Continue reading →
Dr. Ben Carson was not wrong to say that a Muslim should not be put in charge of this nation. He was wrong to answer the question in the first place, since it was clearly a ploy by an increasingly … Continue reading →
Sciencey readers may have learned that giant exoplanet Beta Pictoris b has been photographed to unprecedented detail. Here is the picture of the world, about 63 light years away. Amazing. Anyway, thanks to the Gormogons’ proprietary super-advanced high-resolution image rendering … Continue reading →
Mr. and Mrs. GorT watched about two-thirds of the second Republican debate last night. We both found it amusing, insightful, and a bit of a train wreck. GorT jumped on Twitter for a while – and his secondary processing unit … Continue reading →
Hello, children. Hello. Your Mandarin watched the debates last night and as a long-standing Gormogons tradition, wanted to put down his thoughts as to what most of you saw for yourselves. Truly it was a painfully long debate, with insufficient … Continue reading →
The understands that a lot of men think a beard is very manly. The Czar agrees, but reminds everyone that most manly thing is—whether you have a beard or not—knowing how to shave correctly. Operative SMR throws in some gravy … Continue reading →
The explosion (figurative speaking, relax) of cheap razor blade “clubs” is in response to something many adults have wondered about: why the hell are razor blades so expensive? Good heavens, they keep them locked up next to the good cognacs … Continue reading →
Dear Your Czarness: Please pardon a humble minion, but I wish to draw your attention to the media coverage of the “European Refugee Crisis,” which has risen to such a crescendo-of-crap (™ pending!) that I simply must disturb the serenity … Continue reading →
What ‘Puter meant to say was, “America needs to grow the f*ck up.” We have become a nation of perpetual teenagers. We want all of the privileges of adulthood and none of the responsibilities. We have become a nation of … Continue reading →
Last week, the Czar took the position that the Kim Davis story, while interesting, featured some big mistakes by both sides. This prompted The One—no, not that One, the one in Nebraska—to write in. Dearest Czarczar, I agree with you … Continue reading →
The Czar is by no means finished with his summer, least of all does he contemplate putting away any of his extensive platoon of grilling equipment. However, the Czar has noticed that his collection of ideas for the platoon was … Continue reading →
As you have heard—because by God the media are all beside themselves on this—a county clerk in Kentucky named Kim Davis refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples (which is legal in Kentucky). She was jailed for contempt of … Continue reading →
Anytime the Clintons get into hot water, they defend themselves like a teenager defending themselves when confronted by a parent. “No, Mom, I said that I was going to be at Kelly’s house. I just didn’t say where I was going … Continue reading →
It’s been about 25 years since Uncle Jay wrote in with a question or observation, and he makes up for it by providing both. And, better still, on one of our favorite subjects here at the Big G, firearms. Most … Continue reading →
The Цесаревич remarked to the Царица the other day that he’s never been to the Art Institute of Chicago. This was a surprise because even the Царевич has (but only to the Modern Wing, he reminded her, and then only … Continue reading →
Remember when every day Americans were told the color of their national security risk? Today, we are at yellow alert, for example, which means an Elevated Risk of a terrorist incident. There were other colors, ranging from Green all the … Continue reading →
Dear World, Yes, the Czar is sorry to hear that the beautiful ruins of Palmyra have been destroyed by ISIS. Forgive the Czar if he’s not jaw-droppingly stunned like so many of you seemed to be. That’s what ISIS does: … Continue reading →
The Czar is too often right. No, he’s not always right, like ‘Puter, but he’s often right enough that he gets a little tired of it. What are we on about? This whole Clinton/Biden thing. More specifically, the Czar’s long-held … Continue reading →
Do-gooder social justice warriors filed a lawsuit accusing the Compton Unified School District of violating the rights of its students. You, like ‘Puter, may be thinking “What in the name of Sweet Baby Jesus in the Manger can Compton’s schools … Continue reading →
Hillary Clinton’s email debacle isn’t going to get any better nor go away anytime soon. She has two things going for her in this disaster: (1) the media hates to report on her what would be – just about for … Continue reading →
Republicans and conservatives—who are not always the same group—have had a fantasy for some time that Hillary Clinton—already reasonably beatable in a general election—may be defeated in the primary due to the email scandal. Cooler heads, usually prevailing, remind us … Continue reading →
Marie has been our archivist for quite a while now, and every so often races up from the Castle basement because she either found something really interesting from our past, or another casket moved a couple inches while growling at … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s tired of the Donald Trump Experience.* ‘Puter’s even more tired of media pretending Trump’s off-the-cuff ramblings are indicative of conservative ideology. ‘Puter’s most tired of the internecine, juvenile squabbling between the “Trump now, Trump tomorrow, Trump forever” and the … Continue reading →
I’m sure we all have heard this questions posed lately and it will likely be asked of the candidates for the 2016 Presidential election as that progresses: “What is the greatest threat to our national security?” Lately, we have heard … Continue reading →
Before ‘Puter starts, permit ‘Puter to note for the record he is far classier and YUUUUUGER than Czar. To wit, ‘Puter cooked two teriyaki and ginger marinated flank steaks last night while puny, stupid head Czar could only manage one … Continue reading →
The Czar gets a lot of mail, and some of it is wonderful. Not enough, actually, but some. For example, we received this wonderful note this morning: Estimated Czar of Muscovy, Thank you very very much for posting the illuminating … Continue reading →
Here’s your guide to the Democratic candidates heading for a road accident with our country. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who has had balanced her legacy as a first lady, senator, secretary of state, and total … Continue reading →
Donald Trump is probably in your news timeline right now, if you’d only bother to look. First, the MSM is riveted with this guy: a celebrity acting and doing and saying crazy Republican things, and leading in the polls. He … Continue reading →
18 USC § 793(f) states: Whoever, being entrusted with or having lawful possession or control of any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, note, or information, relating to the national defense, … Continue reading →
The Czar thinks with all the latest nonsense flying around the news cycle, we can take a break today. Here’s one of the Czar’s long-forgotten favorites to cheer you up. It’s the Zombies, with “Care of Cell 44.” This song … Continue reading →
Each election cycle, the Czar watches the debates so you don’t have to. Well, to be honest, last night’s first Republican candidate debate happened to be inconveniently scheduled on a night that we were busy getting tuxedos for the boys, … Continue reading →
Hello, children. Hello. Thanks to all none of you who write in to ask what sort of work is going on in the Mandarin’s laboratories. Here, as dutifully recorded by a lunatic named Cyriac, is a video demonstrating real progress. … Continue reading →
Dear Parents and Guardians of Leng Elementary School Students, It’s hard to believe that another exciting school year is upon us, even though we’ve opened every back-to-school letter with that sentence since 1960. We’re so very excited to make this … Continue reading →
From: Trailing GOP Candidate To: The Œcumenical Volgi Date: August 3, 2015 Subject: AMERICA IS BURNING! MILLIONS DEAD! Dear The: That headline is no doubt what Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would love to see their pet Lamestream Media print … Continue reading →
From: Leading GOP Candidate To: The Czar of Muscovy Date: August 3, 2015 Subject: The Critical Moment of Decision is NOW!!! Dear Mr. of Muscovy: This is the hardest email we have ever written at our campaign headquarters. We never … Continue reading →
Here are stories far more important than the Planned Parenthood savagery, according to the MainStream Media: Obama talking climate change. Cecil the lion Walker’s answer on Obama’s Christianity not answery enough for people Shooter kills man outside Mississippi courthouse Hitchhiking … Continue reading →
Our readers surely have seen or read about Planned Parenthood’s current troubles. Enterprising pro-life activists went undercover and taped Planned Parenthood executives and employees discussing fetal organ sales and the abortion process in callous, inhuman terms.* Planned Parenthood is now … Continue reading →
The Czar remains a huge advocate for The Boy Scouts of America (and Girl Scouts, too!). Although some under-educated right wing commentators have incorrectly bad-mouthed the manliness of the BSA recently, the fact remains that Scouting is a dirt-cheap way … Continue reading →
The New York Times editors are wrong. This is not exactly news. But today, the editors plumb the depths of just how wrong allegedly intelligent, educated people can be.* Take a moment and read this editorial, helpfully titled “For Transgender … Continue reading →
Sigh. GorT isn’t a big complainer. In fact, being around folks who do complain wear on GorT. People get bad service, bad luck, and have bad experiences all the time. And yes, sometimes GorT will share but I strive to … Continue reading →
Boneman writes in after too long an absence to wax politically philosophic on Progressivism. Like a heavy gray blanket, the gray grip of progressivism continues to slowly smother the United States. Progressivism is the cancer that we all contracted more … Continue reading →
Recently, the Czar grumbled about why the government grows and never will, in reality, shrink. This is a big issue for lots of people on both sides of the aisle, but only conservatives and libertarians seems to come up with … Continue reading →
The Czar was not expecting to see Ant-Man this weekend as the Цесаревич is just back from Цѣсарь Scouts Camp (merit badges in Serf Punching, Long Distance Shooting, Worst Aid, and Axemanship). But it turned out that after a good … Continue reading →
Republicans are evil people who want nothing more than to separate hard-working brown parents from their cute-as-a-button children, at least according to Washington Post “reporter” Jenna Johnson. Today’s WaPo whipping boy is Scott Walker, smeared with innuendo in Ms. Johnson’s … Continue reading →
Resistance is futile. Ok, maybe it’s not the Borg coming to take over the joys and pains of driving oneself, but GorT believes that if you look at the trends in technology and society, we will have mainstream driverless cars … Continue reading →
Prior to Obamacare’s passage, there were about 18 million people uninsured. Today, the estimate of people uninsured is, well, 18 million. We’ve seen early on from the “revised downward” news reports (usually released on Fridays) after the launch of the … Continue reading →
Do people really read and buy what Paul Krugman writes? GorT knows he’s jumping into ‘Puter’s playground of mockery here by taking on a Krugman op-ed in the NYT, but he just couldn’t let it fly past without comment. Krugman … Continue reading →
Doctors are the worst.* ‘Puter concluded doctors can suck his big, fat prickly pear after reading the New York Times letters to the editor yesterday. About eleventy gajillion** doctors wrote in to comment on the New York Times’ article “Medicare … Continue reading →
GorT has been meaning to write about Confederate flags, gay marriage, and a few other relevant topics, but the last few weeks have been a bit crazy for the shiny, silver robot. However, when perusing his Facebook feed over the … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar is certainly all excited for the upcoming Pluto fast flyby! If you have been living under a rock for the last few years, in addition to liking Donald Trump’s campaign, you should also know that we finally … Continue reading →
Hey, you know who’s still with us? As it turns out? It is mighty peculiar that the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church is located in Topeka, Kansas, which has many postal zip codes of the form 666**. But while looking into … Continue reading →
Let it never be said the Czar doesn’t let JAB get another word or two in. Dear Your Czarness, Reading the post from Operative B made me think of other inconvenient, unintended consequences: I then asked him whether that included … Continue reading →
The Czar has been away from both the dacha and the Castle lately, taking a bit of time off with the family to engage in some vacation up in the woods of south central Wisconsin. Indeed, the Czar normally deplores … Continue reading →
Welcome to the brave new world, boys and girls, where words and law mean whatever a scant majority of nine unelected, robe-clad demigods say they mean, reality be damned. If you haven’t yet ready the Supreme Court’s opinion in Obergefell … Continue reading →
Difficult to believe based on yesterday’s news coverage, but the Supreme Court issued another important decision yesterday as well. Justice Kennedy, writing for the majority*, held disparate impact claims are cognizable under the Fair Housing Act (“FHA”). You can (and … Continue reading →
‘Puter, unlike many Twitteratti, read the entire King v. Burwell opinion (and Scalia’s most entertaining dissent) today. ‘Puter will spare you his detailed, legalistic opinion of the decision. Here’s what you need to know. The majority opinion* did serious damage … Continue reading →
Mitch writes in to point out that Czar’s memory is oftimes scratchy and clumped up in tufts like a shedding dog’s butt: You’ve got nine-tenths of a good argument there, but the red-and-blue Andrew’s Cross flag with the stars isn’t … Continue reading →
Two schools of thought approach the Stars and Bars—the ongoing display of the Confederate Flag—and both are wrong. The flag is vile, racist, and a symbol of hatred. This of course denies all of its historical implications and traditions, and … Continue reading →
Mrs. GorT has plenty of extended family in Charleston, South Carolina and it’s one of our favorite places to visit and vacation. Since the tragic event, GorT has followed various news outlet reports (CNN, Fox [local affiliate], radio) and social … Continue reading →
If anything was ever ripe for Gormogons takedown, it’s this Rachel Dolezal story. What a perfect blend of lunacy masquerading as social something or other. Look, Ms. Dolezal is either a liar at the end of the line or she … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn writes in with the following Public Service Announcement: Hack a Bunch of Hacks discusses the fact that all current government employees are security-compromised. Hence the government will have to hire all-new top-secret personnel who have never before worked for the federal … Continue reading →
By now you’ve probably heard of the cyber attack on the OPM (Office of Personnel Management). The U.S. government believes strongly that China was behind the attacks. This breach only demonstrates the shortcomings of the federal government. While one could … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s Democrat friends are pushing Hillary Clinton like mad. “Hillary’s the greatest thing EVAH!!1! and will totes beat any Republican,” they tell ‘Puter. Are ‘Puter’s friends right? Is a Hillary Clinton presidency inevitable? ‘Puter thinks Mrs. Clinton’s in far more … Continue reading →
