Vita Brevis
The Цесаревич remarked to the Царица the other day that he’s never been to the Art Institute of Chicago. This was a surprise because even the Царевич has (but only to the Modern Wing, he reminded her, and then only … Continue reading →
Monthly Archives: August 2015
Are We Still on Yellow Alert?
Remember when every day Americans were told the color of their national security risk? Today, we are at yellow alert, for example, which means an Elevated Risk of a terrorist incident. There were other colors, ranging from Green all the … Continue reading →
Palmyra
Dear World, Yes, the Czar is sorry to hear that the beautiful ruins of Palmyra have been destroyed by ISIS. Forgive the Czar if he’s not jaw-droppingly stunned like so many of you seemed to be. That’s what ISIS does: … Continue reading →
The MSM Doesn’t Want Clinton To Be President
The Czar is too often right. No, he’s not always right, like ‘Puter, but he’s often right enough that he gets a little tired of it. What are we on about? This whole Clinton/Biden thing. More specifically, the Czar’s long-held … Continue reading →
SJWs Ruin Yet Another American Institution: Public Education
Do-gooder social justice warriors filed a lawsuit accusing the Compton Unified School District of violating the rights of its students. You, like ‘Puter, may be thinking “What in the name of Sweet Baby Jesus in the Manger can Compton’s schools … Continue reading →
Excuse Parade
Hillary Clinton’s email debacle isn’t going to get any better nor go away anytime soon. She has two things going for her in this disaster: (1) the media hates to report on her what would be – just about for … Continue reading →
Clinton’s Turning Point
Republicans and conservatives—who are not always the same group—have had a fantasy for some time that Hillary Clinton—already reasonably beatable in a general election—may be defeated in the primary due to the email scandal. Cooler heads, usually prevailing, remind us … Continue reading →
Nostalgia
Marie has been our archivist for quite a while now, and every so often races up from the Castle basement because she either found something really interesting from our past, or another casket moved a couple inches while growling at … Continue reading →
What Republicans Ought To Be Saying: ‘Puter Pens A Platform
‘Puter’s tired of the Donald Trump Experience.* ‘Puter’s even more tired of media pretending Trump’s off-the-cuff ramblings are indicative of conservative ideology. ‘Puter’s most tired of the internecine, juvenile squabbling between the “Trump now, Trump tomorrow, Trump forever” and the … Continue reading →
Made In China
I’m sure we all have heard this questions posed lately and it will likely be asked of the candidates for the 2016 Presidential election as that progresses: “What is the greatest threat to our national security?” Lately, we have heard … Continue reading →
National IDs: A Good Idea or A First Step To American Gulags?
Before ‘Puter starts, permit ‘Puter to note for the record he is far classier and YUUUUUGER than Czar. To wit, ‘Puter cooked two teriyaki and ginger marinated flank steaks last night while puny, stupid head Czar could only manage one … Continue reading →
Harfenisten!
The Czar gets a lot of mail, and some of it is wonderful. Not enough, actually, but some. For example, we received this wonderful note this morning: Estimated Czar of Muscovy, Thank you very very much for posting the illuminating … Continue reading →
Meet the Democrats!
Here’s your guide to the Democratic candidates heading for a road accident with our country. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who has had balanced her legacy as a first lady, senator, secretary of state, and total … Continue reading →
So What’s the Deal With Trump?
Donald Trump is probably in your news timeline right now, if you’d only bother to look. First, the MSM is riveted with this guy: a celebrity acting and doing and saying crazy Republican things, and leading in the polls. He … Continue reading →
Is Hillary Clinton Above the Law?
18 USC § 793(f) states: Whoever, being entrusted with or having lawful possession or control of any document, writing, code book, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, instrument, appliance, note, or information, relating to the national defense, … Continue reading →
Interlude
The Czar thinks with all the latest nonsense flying around the news cycle, we can take a break today. Here’s one of the Czar’s long-forgotten favorites to cheer you up. It’s the Zombies, with “Care of Cell 44.” This song … Continue reading →
First GOP Debate Roundup
Each election cycle, the Czar watches the debates so you don’t have to. Well, to be honest, last night’s first Republican candidate debate happened to be inconveniently scheduled on a night that we were busy getting tuxedos for the boys, … Continue reading →
Update on the Pigs
Hello, children. Hello. Thanks to all none of you who write in to ask what sort of work is going on in the Mandarin’s laboratories. Here, as dutifully recorded by a lunatic named Cyriac, is a video demonstrating real progress. … Continue reading →
Dear Parents or Guardians
Dear Parents and Guardians of Leng Elementary School Students, It’s hard to believe that another exciting school year is upon us, even though we’ve opened every back-to-school letter with that sentence since 1960. We’re so very excited to make this … Continue reading →
I can’t believe it’s come to this
From: Trailing GOP Candidate To: The Œcumenical Volgi Date: August 3, 2015 Subject: AMERICA IS BURNING! MILLIONS DEAD! Dear The: That headline is no doubt what Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would love to see their pet Lamestream Media print … Continue reading →
The Hardest Email To Write Ever
From: Leading GOP Candidate To: The Czar of Muscovy Date: August 3, 2015 Subject: The Critical Moment of Decision is NOW!!! Dear Mr. of Muscovy: This is the hardest email we have ever written at our campaign headquarters. We never … Continue reading →
Planned Parenthood Videos May Be Crucial
Here are stories far more important than the Planned Parenthood savagery, according to the MainStream Media: Obama talking climate change. Cecil the lion Walker’s answer on Obama’s Christianity not answery enough for people Shooter kills man outside Mississippi courthouse Hitchhiking … Continue reading →