Our beloved Operative SMR writes in that he and his wife were recently shoplifting in Ikea, and was delighted to find we have a product for sale there.

Lest you doubt him, here’s the photo:

“I always wondered where you shopped to outfit the castle,” he said.

Indeed, the product in question is a sink cabinet with two drawers. Here’s the sink:

The cabinet has two drawers, which when opened reveal the infinitude of the crawling chaos. The assembly directions have no words of course, because Hello Kitty has no mouth. And yet she screams.

You know, the Czar has always said if you see a Hello Kitty image, you know two things.

First, that we are responsible for it, to our own evil ends.

Second, that you paid twice as much as you should have.

Of course, if you purchase that over-priced Hello Kitty item at Ikea, well, you probably paid a great deal more than twice its value.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.