Double from the Doublewide
JAB writes in from the Doublewide in regards to this post by the Czar and GorT’s response:
| In order to avoid banishment to a terribly unpleasant place, I must first agree with Your Czarness’ observation that MLB, made up “rivalries” and stupidly stupid scheduling of games have tanked viewership and interest in baseball. And that is a pity. I might also add that there could be some hangover from the “steroid era.” That said…I’ll risk the wrath You Czarness and hope that Mr. GorT will intervene on my behalf. In the interests of full disclosure, our two sons chose soccer over basketball in middle school, even though both their parents love them some hoops. Bubba-the-Larger is a goalie, and Bubba-only-Slightly-Less-Large is a defender. And both play(ed) at a small liberal arts school in the Midwest (Div. III, meaning NO athletic scholarships are given, but they both were awarded academic scholarships, says their proud mother). Despite my initial skepticism, I have learned to appreciate the “geometry” of the game and the fact that, unlike American football, the players on the field have to react and read the opposing players, rather than wait for the coach to send in a play [ex.: “Red-57, whoooo”]. The other thing I admire about soccer is that the players MUST be very, very fit [the field is big and substitutions are regulated, depending on the level of play], regardless of whether they play in the EPL, college, high school, club, whatever. Your point, Mr. GorT, about relegation/promotion is also spot-on. At the club level in our state, it was serious, despite some of the big, important clubs engaging in conduct unbecoming from time to time. And let me tell you, when both Bubbas’ club teams got promoted, the next open try-outs were quite crowded with kids who wanted to move up also. However, I must confess that I find the offsides “rule” to be, if not socialist then communist, because it is a call that depends so completely on the officials’ judgement. A player is offsides if he/she commences his run before the ball is played. Sometimes, it is obvious, but often NOT so much. When the TV broadcasts have to have that yellow-line-effect on the screen in replays in order to tell whether the call was correct, then the call is just tooooo arbitrary. It has always seemed to me that it is designed to “punish” speed. Kinda communist, you know? Both Bubbas, being on the defensive side of play, defend the rule, but I think it should be more clear-cut. Basketball, for instance, prevents parking a 7’ center under the basket by a strict time-count. Just a thought! Yours from the Doublewide, JAB |
There are plenty of low scoring sports: hockey and baseball included. While others may have a greater possibility of higher scoring games, it still is possible. In 1939, the eighth longest baseball game was played between the Boston Bees* and Brooklyn Dodgers resulting in a 2-2 tie and the game was ended due to darkness** after 23 innings that took 5 hours and 15 minutes. An MLB averages about 4.5 runs per game. When you consider points (runs, goals) scored per minute, hockey, soccer, and baseball are all in the same ballpark. Soccer (EPL) averages 0.02 points per minute, Hockey (NHL) about 0.037 points per minute, and baseball (MLB) about 0.04 points per minute.
Flopping. Look it is the blemish that soccer can’t avoid. It’s terrible. A good referee will dismiss it and a great referee will card the player for flopping. The problem being that, at the speed of the game, the referee has a split second to decide whether it was a real foul or a flop and that gets hard. But yes, there’s no avoiding the face that flopping and all the acting and feigned injuries detracts from the sport.
Four offside players is a bit extreme
Offsides. To poke at JAB’s definition, offsides isn’t when the player commences a run before the ball is played. It is determined if the player is ahead (offensively) of the last defender when the ball is played. The player can start a run behind the defender and work to time it so the ball is played before passing the last defender. Speed and teamwork are actually rewarded in the sense of the play continues and this generally leads to a great scoring opportunity. The strategy that goes into both sides of this isn’t something to discount. Should our team play a “high line”*** figuring that our defenders can handle any breakaways and through-balls? Should we play “soft” or “deep” and give up field position because the offense is quicker and we can’t pace them on breakaways? Yes, it’s hard to determine because frequently the referee needs to determine AT THE TIME of the ball being played was the lead offensive player beyond the final defender. A good assistant referee (AR) will handle that for you…but if the distance from the ball to the spot of the last defender is large, it is really hard to call. And it can be that call that determines a game based on the outcome of the play.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.