The vice-presidential debate was certainly better—and more substantive—than the Caddyshack St. Andrew’s dinner dance scene that preceded it. But it won’t make any difference. It’s doubtful anyone on the fence will suddenly switch to supporting Hillary Clinton after watching Sen. Tim Kaine attempt to be a sniveling toady when he isn’t one at heart. It’s possible that a few fence-sitters might, though, be willing to vote for Trump after seeing the organized, confident delivery of Gov. Mike Pence…but the Czar doubts it.

The Czar would feel very comfortable with Mike Pence as President of the United States, God forbid such a crisis should occur. During the debtate last night, Gov. Pence had the steely glare of a sharp business executive or a retired Lt. General, measuring his words and answering succinctly with a calm demeanor. He genuinely looked presidential.

Beyond that, there isn’t much more to tell about last night’s vice-presidential debate that would make the slightest difference. Sen. Tim Kaine did his best to look like a Joe Biden-esque jackass interruptus, and you could see deep down he’s a basically nice guy being forced to act like a bully. He did so very badly, and his every interruption made him look weaker and more afraid of whatever he’s got himself into.

Of course, Kaine almost certainly will be our next Vice-President, and the Czar would prefer him as President over Hillary Clinton should Clinton’s health require him to step in. And given that President Donald Trump would, probably by March, decide he’d rather take a ride in a cool, fast speedboat than be President, the country would definitely be okay under President Pence. He’s even got a good presidential name.

So while it was enjoyable to watch Pence be who he is and Kaine attempt to be someone he isn’t, this debate wasn’t worth spit: we’re still left with two disastrous candidates, neither of whom remotely deserve the appellation of candidate, let alone the actual title of President.

A word, though, on media bias. Our moderator last night did a horrible job actually moderating, but she did ask each candidate some very embarrassing questions. We felt the number of rough questions was equally distributed—but that doesn’t matter either since all the candidates did was ignore them and talk about what they wanted to hear.

Nevertheless, it was positively chilling to hear Sen. Kaine parrot the media talking points: Trump’s tax payments weren’t “fair,” that Republicans are trying to end women’s health rights, and that Republicans only want to eliminate the middle class. Kaine spoke these and other pet phrases as if the audience automatically believes them. Pence refused to take any of this bait, and simply chuckled, rolled his eyes, or gently shook his head—which wound up being a very effective tool for defusing them. Kaine felt safe doing this because he knows, for certain, the media will not fact check him on any of these claims; in fact, they’re going to flip these into questions for the next debate, so terrified are they of (a) President Trump and (b) the wrath of a forcibly retired Hillary Clinton.

We are one election cycle away from this sort of debate:

Republican candidate: So that’s why we believe in reducing the capital gains tax and alleviating small businesses of government regulations.

Democrat candidate: Republicans want to murder your teenage daughters.

Moderator: That’s a fair point. Why do Republicans want to murder your family?

Democrat candidate: Right in front of you!

That’s pretty close to when Joe Biden claimed Republicans want blacks enslaved again. He really did.

Look, the average American understands this now: the polls show that Americans think our media are about the worst thing ever, and it gets worse with every election. These two aspects are linked: the media are unable to hide their awful, awful bias; maybe they shouldn’t. And Kaine, who looked very much like he was reading lines off 3″ x 5″ index cards (“Trump called Mexicans rapists!” flip), showed how much Democratic candidates depend on the media not doing actual fact-checking, and turning every Democrat talking point into an accusatory question for the Republican candidates.

And it doesn’t make any difference to the voter. Just like last night’s debate won’t either.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.