Boy, Democrats are sure ticked this weekend about the FBI’s reopening of their investigation of Hillary Clinton. Normally, news broken on a Friday afternoon is forgotten by the media before the Sunday morning chat shows, but this time the outrage is only gaining momentum into this week.

The Washington Post, for one, seems personally insulted by the idea that the investigation should continue, as if double jeopardy applies to a person (a) not formally tried in the first place and (b) not subject to the discovery of potential material evidence previously withheld. Really, what’s eating WaPo?

They aren’t the only ones: scores of pro-Democrat pundits and commentators are positively beside themselves over this, and the Czar has a sense that they’re more outraged by this October surprise than they were the first time they went through it.

And the Czar has a theory why.

It’s not that this helps Donald Trump: if it did, he’d already have drowned an orphan kitten on live television to ensure his ratings re-plummeted. It’s not even that this October Surprise is any worse than the last four weeks of October Surprises, many of which were far worse politically and ethically than some predatory sexting by an aide’s husband.

The reason is that Democrats are realizing they’re screwed, if not now, but certainly by 2020.

Look, it’s October 31st—you don’t get any later in October, as you know—and there’s still a vast amount of new evidence appearing that proves Hillary Clinton is the shittiest candidate the Democrats have fielded in decades. They have nobody better, or they would have dumped her and taken that person in a New York State Senate Second.

And all these email investigations continuously call attention to it: the Democrats cannot field a decent human being.

Trump has not risen in the polls: but Clinton has dropped to where Trump is now competitive; and the sole explanation for this is that undecided voters are no longer quick to stab the Clinton button on their touch-tone phones: voters are bailing on her because they’re sick and tired of the same-old Clinton crap.

It’s a full-blown tantrum by the Left, equivalent to the spoiled brat being grounded the afternoon of the big school dance…and then the straight D report card comes in. Bad timing, and now the house is filled with door slams and clothes being thrown on the floor.

Looking back, this should have been obvious. Way back when, sharp-memoried readers will recall the Czar advising that if the Democrats had two brain cells left, they’d avoid running Clinton. And then Jim Webb came along, and all the undecided voters thought he was pretty cool. But his pro-military, pro-religion, and anti-spending platform was too extreme for the Democrats, and they threw him out of the race—and nearly out of the party—because he was pretty much aligned with John F. Kennedy on the political spectrum. No, if they were going to entertain anybody for a while, it would be the loony crackpot Bernie Sanders and his Leninites All-Red-Star-Band. Look, the Democrats said to the voters, you’re either openly socialist (like Bernie) or overtly progressive liberal (like Hillary)—there’s no place for someone more mainline and palatable.

This is when they thought they could win. But now the race continues to veer left and right, out of control, and Democrats are starting to sense Hillary is all they have left. And the more attention that’s directed at her, the worse she looks.

They just don’t want you to see that, too. And what’s worse than their candidate in 2016? Their candidate in 2020, whether that’s her or someone else. And that’s what’s really got the Democrats in such a spitfest.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.