Cuba 2: Electric Boogaloo
Reply mail appeared under our door yesterday, this time from Operative SMR, who was able to provide additional thought on how Cuba survived economic isolation. The Czar thinks these ideas are quite good.
| Dear The Czar, I read with interest Derek the Last’s letter and your penetrating thoughts thereon. Your question, “How much longer could that latrine of a country hold onto Communism?” got me to thinking. Frequently when things get me thinking, fires can result, but fortunately not this time. Communism in Cuba may have a few native advantages that other countries did not enjoy. As a large tropical island:
Despite the US’s embargo, Cuba trades with China, Spain, Brazil, Canada, and Mexico. Plenty of opportunity to obtain what they needed, purchased with the sweat of the peasants’ brows. Foreign aid, remittances from ex-pats, and renting doctors and nurses to Latin America supplement their economy. None of this implies support of the regime. I’m glad Mr. Castro has finally this opportunity to meet his Maker. I’m not supposed to wish him ill in the afterlife, but I’m certainly glad he’s there. I doubt that we’ll see much change in the regime or in the society subsequent to his death, but we can hope. Maybe they’ll manage it so poorly that economic reality will pull the handle on the toilet. But as you mentioned, there are still lots of liberals who love it. Your loyal, P.S. On unpacking after my last visit to the Castle, I discovered that Sleestak had chewed through the cord on my earbuds, then tied them back together with a surprisingly tidy sheet bend. And somehow they still work. Can you share his secret to that repair? I tried it with all of my kids’ earbuds, but now they don’t work. Sadly, the left ear piece on mine sounds a bit muffled through the residue of Sleestak’s mouthing. I haven’t found a chemical yet that will dissolve it without dissolving the plastic. C’est la vie. |
More like c’est le Sleestak: fortune favors idiots, and is he ever fortunate. A sheet bend, curiously, is not among the Czar’s favorite bends, but you can—with four lengths of paracord, four well-placed trees, and a nice fleece blanket, sheet bend yourself a very comfy hammock. Of course, the ends don’t physically connect in a sheet bend, so the odds are good you have wireless headphones that he glued wires onto and then bit through the cords.
And here’s the difference between us: you’re astonished he managed to get them working again; we’re astonished he managed to make such a tiny sheet bend with basically goat hooves for hands.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.