Happy New Year, to all our followers, minions, and operatives. There will be no pay raises for any of you this year.

The Czar spent the afternoon reviewing Euler’s equations for a rotating solid, and still finds it hilarious that rotation around the second principle axis results in instability. What a perfect way to describe 2016.

However, he took a break to pen a short post when he spotted a comment from the Obama administration that, with 20 or less days until Obama is finally out of his first real job, he fully intends to stay involved in politics and driving his political ideas forward.

Naturally, a smart thinker like yourself would ask “Why?”. The answer is basic psychology: he has nothing substantive to show for the last 8 years, and that’s pretty bad for a thin-skinned narcissist bent on immortality. Basically, he hasn’t lived up to his own standards of impressing the shit out of everybody with how smart he must be.

Think it over, if you haven’t already: he came in promising to heal the earth and slow the rise of the seas. He’d failed. He intended to pacify the world by taking America down a notch; of course, the world is in far worse shape over 8 years of leading from behind. He intended to revamp healthcare to bring coverage to all Americans and, by his inept head-nodding toward fast-talking people, passed Obamacare, which may be more hated than Prohibition. His gun control scheme worked out really well for the Second Amendment, which is now more solid than it’s been since the 1930s. His reduction in forces in Afghanistan and Iran has seen troops added to Syria as well. His reset with Russia? About as valid as his non-nuclear Iran treaty. We could go on and on, but you already have the idea. Virtually everything he promised has blown up in his face.

He’s been tweeting out his accomplishments a lot, lately: you know, gay marriage (which was never a federal issue to begin with), financial regulation reform (expected to be undone shortly), and lower unemployment—which is technically true only because it took 8 years of redefining labor participation to make it appear real.

In short, the guy who exhibited an aura of light and hope and change in 2008, who saw himself as the LeBron James of presidents, has wound up looking every bit a Colin Kapernick—useless and undeserving of further attention. And like Kapernick, a lot of his former fans wish he’d just go away quietly to some self-loathing beach in Hawaii before he does any more damage, like leaving the grill on all night and burning the garage down.

Obama has always been obsessed with his legacy (remember when he had difficulty deciding how to rank himself among Lincoln and Reagan?), and unlike the Nobel Committee he still believes the prize award was a good idea. His obsession with his legacy is because he wants, oh so badly, to be a big chapter in every history book going to be written.

As such, as he steps off the Marine One whitecap on the 20th for the very last time, he’ll merit, at best, a page in a high school textbook. In the next edition, he might just be a paragraph, like Grover Cleveland or Andrew Jackson: a bit of trivia about the circumstances of his election, a discussion about his overreach, his improbable re-election, and a transition clause about the 2016 elections, all in between longer sentences about ISIS, Syria, and economic malaise.

There’s his legacy. And if he continues in politics like he hopes, maybe one day he’ll accomplish something that people won’t snicker or dismiss. He’s hoping for more time, which can also be described as grasping at straws. Hail to the Chief.