The Czar was able to take the boys to today’s showing of the new Peter Jackson movie They Shall Not Grow Old, which is a remarkable new documentary utterly devoid of giant gorillas, orcs, and aliens, and turn his superbly … Continue reading →
Anybody can pack wet sand into a bucket, turn it over, pat the bucket bottom, and lift up to leave a truncated cylinder of sand and call that a sand castle. That’s precisely what the Czar did for this post, … Continue reading →
This tweet caught the Czar’s tired, crusty eye (the other eye’s fine, though): Sorry guys, you don’t get to shit yourselves every time a white person voices an ethnic Disney character and then say Warren’s lie is no big deal. … Continue reading →
A ten-year-old girl with a backpack shuffles along the right side of the road, including a theatrical stomp-limp that parents know all too well as an angry walk. The video shows Dad attentively following her at a slow pace in … Continue reading →
It’s past time for liberals to admit they never believed their bullshit about border security. In the last few years, liberals have finally come clean about God (no place for Him in their platform), abortion (killing babies isn’t just allowable, … Continue reading →
Based on recent tweets, some of our Twitter followers are interested in some more Gormogon recipes. These are more specific than the ubiquitous green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, etc. Although, I’m sure my fellow Gormogons have their own opinions on … Continue reading →
As you know, your hometown lost the benefits of having Amazon open its second headquarters there. This is also true even if you live in Crystal City, Virginia, or the New York City area where they elected to land. As … Continue reading →
GorT has pretty much had it with the talk about the democrats “winning the popular vote for the Senate and House.” There is NO SUCH THING. This view propagates a fallacy about how our country was founded and operates. This … Continue reading →
If you were elected to national office yesterday, please skip down to your specific section. Thanks. Republicans Congratulations on your win in the Senate and, to a lesser extent, your wins in the House. As you try to figure out … Continue reading →
As the Czar discusses the Neil Armstrong biopic First Man, this will be less of a movie review and more of a jeremiad about social media. By now, you’ve heard, through Facebook and Twitter, that the Ryan Gosling movie gets … Continue reading →
‘Puter posted the following on Facebook this morning. ‘Puter fully expects his extremely liberal college friends’ heads to explode. ‘Puter is honestly surprised his friends haven’t disenfriendchised* him yet. Oh, well. ‘Puter hasn’t seen or spoken with most of these … Continue reading →
Didja hear? The stock market is in really bad shape right now. According to CNN today, it tumbled 400 points! PBS said it dived. Investor’s Business Daily disagreed, saying it plunged. Wow, we must live in very scary times, economically … Continue reading →
This is the sort of stuff that drives the Czar flipping crazy. So if you see serfs being flipped all over the dacha, today, you’ll understand the Czar is crazy. Today is probably a good day to steer clear of … Continue reading →
Not content to take only a limited raft of crap from his liberal college friends on Facebook, ‘Puter decided to hop back into the fray today to see if he could have the entire raft of crap shoveled down his … Continue reading →
‘Puter went on Facebook yesterday. After perusing his algorithmically driven timeline for about 20 seconds, he discerned a trend among many if not all of his liberal college friends. ‘Puter learned that Trump is guilty of colluding with Russia, Brett … Continue reading →
Hey sports fans, no doubt you’re ignoring the playoffs to continue to tweet about the Kavanaugh nomination. Ignoring for the moment he’s already behind his new desk and set up his voice mail greeting as Justice Thomas tells him where … Continue reading →
Today the Czar celebrates on of the best things to wolf down while drinking an ice-cold cola and watching a mid-1980s action film: the gyros. The Czar suspects many Americans still don’t know what this is. Basically, it’s shaved lamb … Continue reading →
‘Puter was rummaging through the Castle’s extensive collection of 1980s era DC high school documents looking for bad, bushy porn when he stumbled upon what may be the most consequential document to date in the Kavanaugh confirmation process. At first, … Continue reading →
Shall we? Because here it is. Democrats have no interest in any FBI investigation or justice for Dr. Ford. They simply want Brett Kavanaugh to go away. Frankly, they will not accept any further Trump nomination, either, so don’t even … Continue reading →
You know, we used to get letters from The Doublewide in the past, and it warmed the Czar’s twisted, desiccated, black-burnt little heart to see one arrive. JAB, one of our longest-serving minions, has a keen eye for detail and … Continue reading →
‘Puter listened to and watched the Senate Judiciary hearings on Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination yesterday. ‘Puter has many thoughts regarding the hearings, so naturally, instead of writing a coherent essay on them, ‘Puter disjointedly set them to music. Enjoy! And if … Continue reading →
Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME), the centrist Republican whom Republicans love to hate, has been a process hawk during the Kavanaugh hearings. This is a good and right thing. Process is an extension of rule of law. And the Kavanaugh circus … Continue reading →
With the type of absolutist thinking that crashes arguments made by high school freshmen, the need to reduce the Brett Kavanaugh accusations into a binary argument have completely missed the reality of how both sides could be right in this … Continue reading →
The life of an actor is really something under socialism. Hollywood is so different. You wait tables, or jockey cars as a porter at a dealership, watching people with less talent than you grimace if you put too much ice … Continue reading →
A follower on Twitter asked for this recipe – it’s really tasty. We’ve made it a few times, once for Thanksgiving and it was a big hit. Ingredients 3 tbl unsalted butter 2 large yellow onions, thinly sliced 2 large … Continue reading →
Nike’s marketing team decided it wanted to be edgier, or some such, and approved its advertising agency’s move to use Colin Kaepernick as the centerpiece of a new campaign. Nike understands that Kaepernick is fairly well loathed across America, but … Continue reading →
When it’s provable. ‘Puter is not a conspiracy theorist. ‘Puter observes events, weighs them, and comes to a logical conclusion. ‘Puter’s like Sherlock Holmes, but dumber. And not as attractive. And doesn’t have a thinly-veiled homosexual relationship with his male … Continue reading →
…fill the hearts of Thy faithful and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love. Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created. And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth. Tonight, GorT attended a portion of a … Continue reading →
Domine, exaudi vocem meam. ‘Puter attended Mass this weekend, 07:30 as usual. This Sunday’s readings outright damned the hierarchy’s response to the latest round of child raping, butt covering allegations. Here’s the Gospel reading for the Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary … Continue reading →
This is Cardinal Viganò’s testimony about Cardinal McCarrick, the corruption of seminarians, and Rome’s knowledge of and response to it, in what appears to be extremely unvarnished fashion with names, dates, and genuine, righteous anger. This is incredibly welcome—and astonishing. … Continue reading →
You know what’s even better than not researching anything about a topic? Having someone else do all that research for you. The Czar won the lottery (figuratively) twice this month when receiving two emails (literally) about his recent Spotlight on … Continue reading →
GorT and family just returned from a week-long vacation in Florida. It was a great time and probably the last family vacation before 1of3 graduates college and starts working. However, with two airline flights, a beach “resort”, driving in Florida, … Continue reading →
Roman Catholics and non-Catholics alike reeled from the news that the Pennsylvania attorney general has released a grand jury report detailing—and the Czar means detailing—hundreds of reports of child abuse by Pennsylvania priests between the 1940s and 2000s. In most … Continue reading →
The Czar has decided we should all learn about Kiribati, which is evidently either an island or a chain of islands. The Czar isn’t sure where, but suspect somewhere in a large body of water. Probably a good place to … Continue reading →
Our castle has a big, silver (and frequently lethal) robot dwelling within, and his piece on Federalism yesterday got the Czar thinking about something he read on Twitter. The ever-brilliant (and darned nice about it, too) @Molratty had a short … Continue reading →
Or, more accurately, I should say, “when did it change?” GorT has been giving our current political landscape some thought over the past few weeks and has become a bit fixated on thinking that if only we had adhered to … Continue reading →
Luckily, the Czar is on his game and noticed that we just passed our 10 year anniversary*. GorT has been busy with a new work assignment, Volgi is off translating some hockey playbooks into 14 languages, and ‘Puter….well, he’s so … Continue reading →
The Gormogons wish, collectively, all of you have enjoyed the last ten years of frivolity and pithy commentary. We’ve gone from a bunch of no-name jackasses with various dependency problems and a seldom-read website to, in only a decade, being … Continue reading →
Almost a year ago, media conglomerate Tronc purchased the New York Daily News. Tronc is a fairly lean animal, with a penchant for nice things nevertheless, and knows a bit about turning newspapers around. They pulled the Chicago Tribune up out … Continue reading →
The Czar was in Cleveland the last few days, avoiding ‘Puter, who was wandering the Castle sweat-palmed, hoping someone would play Dingles and Dragons or whatever it’s called. When ‘Puter gets his role-playing game jones going, it’s like pon farr … Continue reading →
Dr. J is banging on my door trying to get me to update the scoring. Who knew he was so into soccer? Oh, wait, he told me to call it football. In the final rounds, teams advancing get 4, 8 … Continue reading →
A federal judge in California issued a nationwide injunction late Tuesday temporarily stopping the Trump administration from separating children from their parents at the border and ordered that all families already separated be reunited within 30 days. Thus did the … Continue reading →
Or, “what’s the point?” The Czar wonders this each time he sees a news story promoting a poll that obviously doesn’t add up. Do most Americans favor abortion? It doesn’t seem so, yet there’s another poll that suggests maybe they … Continue reading →
The FIFA World Cup 2018 Quarterfinals are set with the first round of bracket games having been played with a couple exciting games. Three games came down to penalty kicks – Croatia vs Denmark, England vs. Columbia, and Spain vs. … Continue reading →
After avoiding the subject for quite a long while, the Czar got around to trying the Sig-Sauer P320 full-size in 9mm. This particular firearm is noteworthy because it’s the long-awaited successor to the Beretta 92 SBF, also known as the … Continue reading →
#1 Dr. J 22 pts Phillies are 2.5 games back and playing almost as good as Croatia and Uruguay are for Dr. J’s picks. With 4 of his 5 countries moving onto the bracket rounds, Dr. J is sitting pretty … Continue reading →
#1 Dr. J 15 pts Uruguay, France, and a surprisingly strong Croatia team are powering Dr. J to the top of the leaderboard. He’s still tracking the NL East pennant race closer than the World Cup…in fact, he’s probably spends … Continue reading →
Good morning, World Cupheads! The Czar and Ghettoputer are arguing by email whether the Czar’s beloved baseball is the worst sport ever, or if ‘Puter is wrong and soccer is the worstest. We both agree that hockey is about the … Continue reading →
The first set of games have concluded in the three-game pool play portion of the tournament. As posted in the Rumpus Room of the Castle – here are the current standings: #1 Dr. J 7 points With Croatia, France, and … Continue reading →
Badger Trowelsworthy writes in to pose an ethical question. Your Immensity: All who grovel before The Throne of Skulls are quick to voice agreement with Your Inscrutable Self but in the matter of chimney starters for charcoal my affirmation is … Continue reading →
‘Puter learned this weekend that because he doesn’t have an issue with separating illegal immigrant parents from their illegal immigrant children when they are caught breaking America’s immigration laws, he is a hateful bigot. Good to know. ‘Puter may or … Continue reading →
Hi, everybody! As you know, we Gormogons love to grill, smoke, and cook outdoors, and we’re definitely well into that season, again. The Czar has already completed his self-appointed projects for the year (smoked pork chops, pizzas, flat breads, and … Continue reading →
The Gormogons assembled in the Rumpus Room last Saturday to kick off our World Cup Soccer 2018 contest – it was quite the shindig. ‘Puter and GorT had the castle staff decorate the room in World Cup flags and banners … Continue reading →
Some thoughts on the North Korean meeting in Singapore. Obviously, Americans of both political stripes have every reason to be suspicious of this event. North Korea, personified, is a pathological liar. Like a substance abuser, North Korea will twist and … Continue reading →
As you have heard, the GOP is in about the worst shape imaginable for the 2018 elections. The only party facing worse odds is the Democrat party. The long-promised blue tsunami might be a small puddle in some areas. This … Continue reading →
‘Puter is currently driving, otherwise, I’m sure he’d take a shot at responding to his not-so-favorite NY Times columnist, Paul Krugman’s latest opinion piece. First, kudos to the NY Times for recognizing this as an opinion piece and not placing … Continue reading →
Most Americans seem to be able to sleep at night without having any clue of how the Supreme Court of the United States (SCROTUS) works. Most Americans have no idea how many justices sit on the court, although the numbers … Continue reading →
The fact it appeared on World News Daily should have been a hint, as was its coverage on UK-based websites. But when the Mandarin reported to the Czar that Fox News was covering the story incorrectly, well, the Czar needed … Continue reading →
One of the British princes is getting married to a former American, and thousands of Americans will be glued to the events in rapt fascination; the rest of us won’t remotely understand the appeal of this. Wasn’t despising royalty the … Continue reading →
The Czar, against his better judgment because now our free time is wasted, has started to explore Netflix. One reason why is his love for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And you probably know, if you’ve even read this far, that … Continue reading →
The Democrats cannot, apparently, let go of their obsession with Donald Trump. Stormy Daniels! Russia! Probes! Russian probes! Probing Stormy Daniels! Comey! And all of this seems, in the Czar’s opinion, to revolve around one concept: we need to invalidate … Continue reading →
‘Puter attended his court-ordered* appointment with his psycho the rapist Nurse Dr. Ratched yesterday. ‘Puter hates seeing his psycho the rapist, but it keeps him out of jail. Nurse Dr. Ratched informed ‘Puter the ordinary treatment of powerful sedatives and … Continue reading →
We finish up with Fr. Josh and our discussion around and about Catholicism GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. … Continue reading →
Here’s the Czar’s spoiler-free review of Infinity War: It has a lot of very expensive actors in it. There are special effects. Lots of stuff gets resolved from earlier movies. Other stuff not as much. There are plenty of familiar … Continue reading →
Before you continue, read ‘Puter’s post here for context*. And note, I’m going full-Puter with my footnotes. Done? Ok, ‘Puter’s take on the issue is fine but let’s get to brass tax. The money quote from the NPR piece is … Continue reading →
Read this story from NPR on the recent IRS computer crash. ‘Puter will wait right here while you do. Done? Good. ‘Puter heard the story driving home from work yesterday on All Liberals Embittered or whatever NPR calls its taxpayer-funded afternoon … Continue reading →
‘Puter, as is his wont, read this morning’s Wall Street Journal as he exercised. Two birds, one stone and all that. There, ‘Puter encountered this editorial, Crowding Out K-12 Education. The editorial states recent teachers strikes are a direct result … Continue reading →
One of our minions, Fr. Josh, joins us to talk Catholicism GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
GorT has been remiss in following up his earlier posts about Boy Scouts and merit badges in particular. Today, I am sharing thoughts on a three merit badges: Citizenship in the Community, Citizenship in the Nation, and Citizenship in the … Continue reading →
‘Puter was pleasantly surprised at Mass last Sunday. ‘Puter fully expected some namby-pamby, feel good take on the First Reading along the lines of “MUH COMMUNISM IZ TEH BESTIST!!!1!” from one of his parish’s priests. Here’s the reading in questions … Continue reading →
‘Puter recently traveled to Scotland. It is truly a beautiful country, full of history, and brimming with decent beer. As a public service to our readers, ‘Puter’s put together this handy list of things everyone who visits Scotland should know … Continue reading →
A musical discussion! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including … Continue reading →
Several of the Gormos discuss the Olympics GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all … Continue reading →
No, I’m not talking about Stormy Daniels, the latest GIF ‘Puter posted on Twitter, all the dishes the Czar left in the sink, or where the clandestine White House Bunker is. I’m talking about the one topic that the media, … Continue reading →
The Volgi and a favorite minion, Neva, chat it up a bit. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The … Continue reading →
Obviously, there’s a lot of tension going on right now between the people very much for gun control and the people very much against it. That tension exists because we, as a country, have finally reached the point where gun … Continue reading →
“Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.” – Aldous Huxley “And so it goes,” ‘Puter thought, as he watched the Parkland Kids host a rock concert masquerading as a gun control rally … Continue reading →
GorT has been watching excerpts of the “March for Our Lives” coverage via the local news and online sources and is concerned about the future. First, let’s get this out of the way – who here wants schools, churches, movie … Continue reading →
In an effort to make this site vaguely useful for some of you, the Czar is offering some reviews of 2018 cars. The Czar knows lots about cars, but not a lot about the new models, but don’t let that … Continue reading →
GorT and Coder (@coderincrisis on Twitter) chat about technology and programming GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
The Czar was shocked to discover that our antient, mortal enemies the Freemasons apparently have employed dogs to do their mysterious work. Specifically, the Masonic Association of Service and Therapy Dogs (MAST), which looks exactly like the kind of worthwhile … Continue reading →
‘Puter and one of our favorite minions, Mo, chat GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
Today as our precious post-Millennial snowflakes, spawn of the worst generation ever*, walk out of class to protest their constitutional rights, ‘Puter’d like to take a moment to reflect. Oh, ‘Puter’s not going to reflect on the kids’ masturbatory fantasies … Continue reading →
‘Puter was perusing the Wall Street Journal this morning, as all rich oligarchs do, when he stumbled upon this piece. Why is Russian gas in Boston Harbor? ‘Puter expected to get an article on cabbage and bean eating Russian sailors. … Continue reading →
‘Puter perused the Sunday New York Times yesterday, including its normally hard left Review section. ‘Puter came across a piece by Katherine Mangu-Ward, When Smug Liberals Met Conservative Trolls. It’s a good piece and you should take the time to … Continue reading →
The Gormogons kick off season 2 of Radio Gormogon GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
Your Gormogons are, to a man,* all Roman Catholic and pretty astonishingly versed in our faith. If you’re not a Roman Catholic, or a Gormogon, you might not find this post particularly appealing, but the Czar happens to know that … Continue reading →
And by that title, I mean I’m doubling on how down I am on the Oscars…and Hollywood in general. Look, it’s easy for mainstream America to bash on Hollywood – some regarding the prominent political leanings, some over their demonstrated … Continue reading →
‘Puter was attending Mass yesterday when … STOP LAUGHING! ‘Puter goes to Mass every week and on all Holy Days of Obligation! He used to do First Fridays, too, but that’s another whole story. As ‘Puter was saying before … Continue reading →
GorT “watched” the Oscars last night. By that, I mean I had it on in the background and occasionally looked up to see what was going on with the show while doing some work on my laptop. Summary The … Continue reading →
Sometimes it’s nice to sit and ponder things on a quiet, snowy Upstate morning. Today is not one of those days. ‘Puter knew it was going to snow, and snow a lot overnight. ‘Puter determined to get up early, exercise, … Continue reading →
GorT read ‘Puter’s latest post with amusement – enjoying his tossing of District Board Policies at the board – until GorT got to the footnotes. For those that didn’t read that far (maybe validating one of the footnotes) or missed … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
For our new Meet a Minion series, ‘Puter recorded a podcast episode featuring Meaux (of @molratty fame) last night, and it probably didn’t suck. It will definitely suck less once GorT gets time to edit it. Anyhoo, one of the questions ‘Puter … Continue reading →
China has long had a funny reputation in America. To some of us, it’s a Communist Thugocracy, playing a coy game of psychology to convince idiots that it’s really an efficient, socialist modern country with ordinary people enjoying a marriage … Continue reading →
The Czar and family have returned from Marvel’s latest thousand-dollar-or-more-grossing movie Black Panther, which stars Jackie Robinson, Adonis Creed, and that frog from Star Wars. If you are reading this by way of the Internet, you are already connected enough … Continue reading →
Once more, we are saddened to hear about the events in Florida. As social media again resorts to its default position of screaming in rage about everything, the Czar realizes there are a couple of questions not really being addressed … Continue reading →
Another day, another school massacre. This one happened in Florida, though it could have been any school, anywhere. Before yesterday’s corpses assumed room temperature, Super-Smart Media Elites with Pleasing Baritones began rounding up the usual strawman suspects. Brows properly furrowed, … Continue reading →
