The Internet has a lot of useful things, but as we all know, it has a lot of nonsense as well. While that indeed is obvious, even reasonable people can—from time to time—get lost in trying to determine which is … Continue reading →
Wow. The Czar got some actual mail the other day, and for a second, he had to check the date, as it’s been a while since anyone has sent anything. Fortunately, it was from Operative B, who had this to … Continue reading →
If you’re like most Americans and are fortunate enough to have a 401(k), you probably noticed that it’s gone up by $2.6 million dollars for every hundred you have invested in it. The Czar exaggerates, of course, but returns right … Continue reading →
Our American readers probably don’t care much for or about the British elections, and whether Nigel Kennewick has held onto the Constituency of West Scrotshire, establishing an opportunity for a coalition with the New Conservative Democratic Liberal Reform Social Party. … Continue reading →
‘Puter pointed out this thread on Twitter earlier today and given the nuances of Twitter, some of our followers couldn’t read it. While someone posted images of it back to Twitter, I reached out and @Popehat agreed that I could … Continue reading →
The Supreme Court of the United States, which is apparently an illegitimate entity since it was taken over by Donald Trump, is going to hear a Second Amendment case arising from the state of New York. This is interesting to … Continue reading →
Are you a citizen? No, not you. Your friends, family, and acquaintances who insist that “borders are only lines on a map.” Are they citizens? These are the kinds of questions that vex ‘Puter late into the evening as he … Continue reading →
Let’s just get to the questions you want answered in life: what’s the difference between a bar, a tavern, a pub, and a saloon? A lot of these words are interchangeable, especially in the United States, so it will likely … Continue reading →
At this point, impeaching Donald Trump is little more than an obvious media stunt. Although polls show that quite a few Americans support his impeachment, there’s a little reminder about polls that should pause anyone zealously hoping this means something: … Continue reading →
For those of you not following us on Twitter (@Gormogons if that’s not obvious), ‘Puter is sick (again)…man-sick…by which I mean, he is home sitting on the couch, complaining that he’s going to die, while watching TV and tweeting. Dying. … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Zombie Deer virus, which is known as the Zika, … Continue reading →
Each morning ‘Puter stops at a McDonald’s near his office to pick up a steaming hot cup McDonald’s decaf.* Three creams, no sugar. Get it right. Nearly every day the same woman takes ‘Puter’s order and gets ‘Puter his coffee. … Continue reading →
A lot of people make a big deal about open-heart surgery, especially those undergoing it, but in fact it’s quite easy to do, the Czar figures. Think about it. The heart’s always in the same place, it makes itself pretty … Continue reading →
Today’s guest post comes from a long-time contributer, Dr. (KN)J, who is of course no relation to our own Dr. J., because, really that would be horrific for the former. Dr. (KN)J, for example, understands math, but he does not … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s an early riser. He routinely wakes between 04:30 and 05:00 without the assistance of an alarm. He loves the wee, small hours of the morning when the whole wide world is fast asleep. ‘Puter often uses this time to … Continue reading →
“War is politics by other means.”—von Clausewitz “Politics is war by other means.”—any Democrat since 1968 Killing the Golden Goose It’s pretty clear the Democrats know they are handing Trump an easy re-election. The middle class, in particular, seems to … Continue reading →
The Czar always suspected that grilling watermelon is a real possibility, and this weekend he took advantage of some old friends stopping by the dacha to do just that. Fortunately, the week before, one of the Czar’s neighbors introduced him … Continue reading →
The Czar is by no means the biggest fan of dessert. While millions of folks bang their forks and spoons at the restauramt, screaming “Caaaaake” like a bunch of over-caffeinated seven-year-olds at a birthday party the second the waiter shows … Continue reading →
Well, you long-time readers know the Castle Gormogon so well that you could walk to it from the Leaping Peacock with your eyes closed, which in fact is how ‘Puter and the Czar often have to do it. But we … Continue reading →
“Gosh,” the Czar exclaimed to his lovely wife, “Gormogonicon 2019 is just days away, and we still don’t have a venue!” As long-time readers know, we are loath to host our annual get-together at the Castle because (a) the Castle … Continue reading →
The Цесаревич has always been fascinated by politics at all levels (local, municipal, state, and federal…and spends a lot of time watching elections overseas, too), and rather unsurprisingly is considering political science as his college major. As he gets older, … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s so old he remembers when racism was among the most serious charges a person could level against another. ‘Puter also remembers when racism actually meant racism. That is, racism had a set meaning. It meant discriminating against another person … Continue reading →
The Czar meant to post this over the weekend, but he so busy doing nothing important that he totally forgot. The Czar will answer your questions on whatever the name is of this latest Marvel movie. Is this movie as … Continue reading →
Imagine New York, and you might put the Statue of Liberty in that image. Think of San Francisco, and most of us still picture the Golden Gate. St. Louis? The Arch! Los Angeles? The Hollywood sign. Picture Portland, and nearly … Continue reading →
*GorT copies yesterday’s posts, updates names, pastes for the post today on the 2nd debate. Done* Well, reader, that would be the quickest way to get a summary of last night’s second round of of the NBC-Democrat-Train-Wreck-of-a-Debate but we here … Continue reading →
GorT really didn’t watch the Democrat Debate last night. Around 10pm, Mrs. G and I decided to flip over to it on NBC and we weren’t disappointed. My simple summary is these debates are the BEST thing for the GOP … Continue reading →
If you’re solidly into triple-digit IQs, you’ve already seen a bunch of Jackie Chan movies. You understand they’re brilliantly directed, with hilarious scenes, literally death-defying stunts, and action that begs to be rewound and watched again. Did he seriously just … Continue reading →
The Twittersphere and Facebook-land is again being peppered with the “OMG! Amazon doesn’t pay enough taxes!!” This argument is mind-numbing to me and those arguing it, in my opinion, have a very narrow and uneducated view of economics in this … Continue reading →
Today marks the 75th anniversary of Operation Neptune, the Allied assault on the beaches of Normandy, France as part of the broader Operation Overlord. Over 130,000 troops were landed, about 3,400 killed on or around the beaches during the assault, … Continue reading →
Today, the Czar took both boys to the cinema house to see Godzilla: King of the Monsters. True fact: we just had to look that up because the Czar totally forgot the formal name of the movie. This is a weird … Continue reading →
The entire state of Massachusetts has announced, earlier today, that it is running for the presidency of the United States in 2020, now doubling the number of Democrat hopefuls. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и … Continue reading →
The stock market closed around 26,500 last Friday afternoon, although at 9:30 that morning, it was at 26,160. That’s a 1% difference. Interestingly, it was at 26,500 on Thursday afternoon, so even if you were one of the very few … Continue reading →
‘Puter watches Morning Joe from time to time if only to see how far Joe Scarborough can sink. If one needed proof Progressivism is sexually transmissible, one need look no further than Scarborough post-ugly bumping with Mika Brzezinski, his cohostess, … Continue reading →
Anyway, forget about all that: Avengers: Endgame is out in theaters, and the Czar took up nearly his entire weekend watching it once. No doubt, you’ve got questions, so here’s our spoiler-free take on the movie. Is it as long as … Continue reading →
Not that President Trump needs to be reminded that he sometimes says dopey stuff, but the news media suffers from a form of priapism where he is concerned, turning every news story into a rant about him, or linking every … Continue reading →
Illinois introduced the Firearm Owners Identification Card in 1968. The FOID card is easily obtained—today, you pay a $10 fee (to cover the cost of a background check and the materials) and it’s good for ten years—and is necessary to … Continue reading →
Tonight, the official “Late Show with Stephen Colbert” published this image mocking a recent tweet by President Trump. I’m sure the people involved with the show thought it was pretty funny and believed it to be honest and true as … Continue reading →
The world is ending once again, in case you’re missing it. Today’s skyfall is the failure of the Green New Deal in the Senate. Except, of course, it wasn’t really the Green New Deal; the vote was only for a … Continue reading →
Just as a reminder to our readers and anyone new to the site, GorT is an eight-foot tall, time-traveling robot. By virtue of that ability, GorT sees things coming years ahead of time. Case in point: the growing grumbling … Continue reading →
Another Marvel movie opening weekend, and another tsunami of movie critics complaining that audiences continue to suffer from superhero movie fatigue, while of course Captain Marvel is set to hit about a half-billion dollars in less than 72 hours. The … Continue reading →
Senator Bernie Sanders gave a town hall rally to wildly enthusiastic supporters last night, allegedly moderated by the curiously incurious Wolf Blitzer on CNN. The Czar notes Wolf’s utter lack of interest in follow-up questions, taking Sanders’ word for everything. … Continue reading →
Tearing open the mail bag, we find: Dread Sovereigns, et cetera: Query from the local field office: Do the two Nigerian guys get counted as “violence by immigrants”, or “doing jobs Americans won’t do”, or both…? Yours with dread terror, … Continue reading →
In 2009, a census worker was found lynched to a tree in Kentucky, the word “FED” scrawled on his chest. All signs, gloated the media, pointed to right-wing (i.e., racist) perpetrators. The Czar immediately knew it was a hoax, and … Continue reading →
Few things amuse ‘Puter more than a star in the liberal super-smart punditsphere exploding in a supernova of stupidity and self-owning. Few liberal super-smart pundits do so more regularly* than the NYT’s own Paul Krugman.** Krugman opines in today’s NYT … Continue reading →
You already know the story, so there’s no point rehashing it. But what a perfect psychological study. If you’re a member of the media, the idea of MAGA-hat-wearing teenagers mocking a lovable, old Native American man so totally fits the … Continue reading →
Much is being made of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s (D-NY) statements that the United States should implement a 70% upper tax bracket for “the rich” across the media and the intranet. Paul Krugman, resident bad opinion writer for the NYT, jumped into … Continue reading →
Today’s whatever comes from Operative B, who raises an index finger and says… Your Maj, The partial shutdown has revealed a giant secret: the TSA is mostly unnecessary and unneeded. From the San Francisco Airport web page: “Covenant Aviation Security, … Continue reading →
