People of color preparing to brutally beat wypipo Reginald Denny in a totally not at all racist manner for the crime of driving through Los Angeles while white during citywide riots.

‘Puter’s so old he remembers when racism was among the most serious charges a person could level against another. ‘Puter also remembers when racism actually meant racism. That is, racism had a set meaning. It meant discriminating against another person based on that person’s race or perceived race.

Now, however, Progressives have corrupted racism’s definition to mean anything a Republican or conservative does: (1) that affects a racial minority no matter how tangentially and (2) that Progressives don’t like. This definition without borders, as you may surmise, is a bit more flexible than the definition from ‘Puter’s youth.

Progressives deploy their new, more woker definition of racism with great frequency and even greater glee. ‘Puter has been amazed to learn that the following constitute examples of racism:

• Work safety rules governing hairstyles. It’s more important that Bob the Jamaican wear his dreads with cultural and racial pride than that Bob the Jamaican doesn’t get decapitated when his dreads tangle in the lathe on which he works 8 hours a day.
• Criticizing a minority person’s ideas. See, e.g., the current Twitter brouhaha between Orange Man and the Prog Princesses.
• Congressmen eating fried chicken.
• Enforcing drug laws.
• Speeding up deportation of illegal aliens.
• National parks. No, really. National parks have lots of trees. And what are trees primarily used for? Lynchings, of course! See? Totes racist.
• Professors correcting grammar.

It’s even more interesting what falls outside the definition of racism. The answer? Pretty much any horrible thing black people do to white people. See, no matter how prejudiced against white people black people may be, up to and including actively seeking out white people to murder simply because of their skin color, it cannot be racist.

‘Puter can tell you think he’s been hitting the bottle a little early this morning.* No one can possibly believe that black people seeking out and killing white people solely for their skin color isn’t racist. Au contraire. Doyin Richards writing in the HuffPo is about to school you.

Now, let’s not confuse racism with prejudice. Prejudice is the belief that a person or a group of people are less than because of who they are. In other words, if a black woman tells you not to bring your bland, raisin-infused potato salad to the cookout because “white folks think salt is the best way to season food,” she’s not being racist. She’s displaying prejudice against you and people like you (and against your potato salad).

Black people can be prejudiced as hell, just like any other group of people. As a matter of fact, I think all humans are prejudiced in one way or another. But just because a black person hurt your feelings that one time doesn’t mean you’ve experienced racism.

This is where I’m going to lose some of you: I don’t believe that people of color can be racist in America.

See? It may be prejudiced for black people to hunt you down and murder you because you’re the white devil’s representative on earth but it’s not racist. Why isn’t it racist? Because muh historic power differential. Quoth Ms. Richards:

Racism is completely different from prejudice, because it’s systemic, as the -ism suffix connotes. I’d define racism as a political, economic or social system in which a dominant race uses its power to oppress others of different races.

So, people of color** cannot be racist against white people because whites are dominant and simply by being of the dominant race and existing, you are using politics, economics, and the entire social system to oppress everyone else. See?

All of which brings ‘Puter back to his initial point: Progressives have successfully redefined racism to the point of meaninglessness.

Rational people look at Progressives claiming black people cannot be racist and say to themselves, “O RLY?” Rational people see Progressives claiming national parks are racist and say to themselves, “O RLY?” Rational people see Progressives calling them “deplorables” and implying their mainstream Republican beliefs are racist and say to themselves, “O RLY?”

Rational people’s takeaway is that racism no longer means anything so claims of racism need not be taken seriously. After two decades of Progressives redefining racism down to cow timid Republicans into caving to Progressives, rational people no longer believe claims of racism. Progressives have cried “Racist!” once too often.

Today when media insists nearly everything Trump does is racist, when the Prog Princesses claim Nancy Pelosi is racist, when Sen. Kamala Harris and her fascist fellow travelers claim Joe Biden (a man who faithfully served America’s first black president for 8 years) is racist, rational people yawn and change the channel.

Progressives and their media enablers have overplayed their hand, conflating any support for Trump with founding membership in the Third Reich Revivalist Society. When Progressives and media incessantly call everyone who doesn’t believe the same things they believe racists, these people stop believing anything Progressives and media say. Rightly so.

Progressives and media in their struggle to out-woke their woke keyboard warrior comrades have destroyed the concept of racism. They have created the conditions for actual racism to flourish by desensitizing the public to actual racism and racist groups. No one will believe Progressives and media when they accidentally seize upon demonstrably racist groups. This harms Progressive constituencies the most. After all, minorities are disproportionately Progressive/Democrat voters.

The most unfortunate (and unjust) thing is it won’t just be Progressives and media who pay the price for their soulless, power-hungry, boy who cried racist wolf shenanigans. It will be America. All of us. Men and women, black and white, rich and poor, old and young. All of us.

Progressives and media are joyfully rending the societal fabric which binds us together. ‘Puter is unsure there’s a seamstress left among us talented enough to repair it.

* Joke’s on you! ‘Puter starts drinking before he gets up in the morning. He sleep drinks. It’s a thing. Look it up.

** “People of color” may be the dumbest woke term ever. It’s a stilted, wordier way of saying “colored people” which was once considered an enlightened term for black people but now is decried as the equivalent of genocide should the phrase escape a white person’s lips. You’re calling yourselves colored people but in an even dumber way.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.