Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
[Note: the Czar reprints this email in its entirety, with one exception: attached was a PDF of the original news article. We can’t yet attach PDFs (thanks, GorT), so take our word for it: JAB isn’t making this up. The … Continue reading →
The Czar got a fine piece of email regarding Mitt Romney. Operative JF sends in the following suggestion: RE: Romney’s Irwin PA Speech I think you need to listen to it again. He has finally stepped up to the plate! … Continue reading →
Mitt Romney, under fire to be a little more specific about his vision for America’s future, delivered a speech in Irwin, Pennsylvania, today in which he spelled out five specific things he will do to turn the country around as … Continue reading →
Over at the sunnier climes of Professor Mondo, the great professor was highlighting how the President’s speech on Friday has been offending just about everybody given that it was a blatant ripoff of the already debunked and derided Professor Warren … Continue reading →
Although Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are locked in a statistically perfect tie (45-45-0), you can tell the Obama campaign is in total terror. Not panic—that happened in June. Terror. Every single attack on the Romney campaign has failed, and … Continue reading →
And so only 21% of Americans trust television news shows, a glum television news industry admits. Or, to put the Czar’s way, 79% of Americans think television news is crap. Can’t imagine why. Never mind any discussion about left-wing or … Continue reading →
Friend of the Gormogons Michael Walsh has written a treatise you may have seen advertised called The People v. The Democratic Party. Available to your left from our Emporium Gormogonicum, along with other fine items. This 45-page treatise can be … Continue reading →
Overall, Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP was very smart. Very smart. And you can already see the Obama media feeds emphasizing how he was booed multiple times (a grand total of two, we believe), but neglects to mention the … Continue reading →
All of you tend to remember the Czar’s writings better than he does, so there is probably little value in reminding you about the Czar’s skepticism regarding life based on arsenic biology. We suggested you assume—unlike the press—that this was … Continue reading →
Let us answer your critical questions on the new Spider-Man movie. Q. My husband wants to buy a llama for the home. Can this movie help us determine whether this is a good idea? A. This movie makes it quite … Continue reading →
Hey Czar, remember when Confucius* used to put up all these bizarre YouTube videos that were weird and quirky but somehow totally watchable? Indeed we do. And while we are not a terribly Œcumenical kind of Czar, we can try. … Continue reading →
When he isn’t bad-mouthing Republicans for not funding science enough while politely wondering why Democrats don’t seem to fund science at all, the Bad Astronomer manages to present some great science. Here is a great analysis (and is quite easy … Continue reading →
So Mitt Romney outsourced a whole bunch of jobs to poor people when he was governor, except he didn’t. But that’s okay, because the Obama campaign is going to keep running with that. Mitt needs just a couple of these … Continue reading →
FotG Michael McDonald found this for the Czar, which totally entertained him. And so your Czar shares it with you. Some minor tough language, so teens and up only. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и … Continue reading →
GorT wants to know why the term derecho is used to describe a particular type of storm. In fact, Spanish words are used as a lingua franca although they sound Greek to him. Here are some of the Spanish terms … Continue reading →
I‘m not Herzog is the kind of guy you can expect to take apart a car, put it back together, and say “Here is how you improve this.” Like just about everybody else, he has an opinion or two on … Continue reading →
Conservatives, to say the least, are deeply divided over the Roberts opinion. Right-wing pundits are equally divided, even ones who normally agree with each other on everything. Over here at the Big G, the minions seem equally divided…and there is … Continue reading →
Need cheering up? Read this thought by Borepatch. And that oughta do it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and … Continue reading →
Does it strike you well-informed readers as odd that 68% of Americans blame George W. Bush fo the economy? After all, the 2008 economic meltdown happened with only a few short months of the Bush presidency left, but has been … Continue reading →
Well, if you happen to need a lot of hooey, you can always grab a handful of the Los Angeles Times. What a jerk. He hates all the good things about Europe, like chronic unemployment, shoddy craftsmanship, and suicidal debt. … Continue reading →
Okay, so Eric Holder was found in contempt of Congress! Dude, you really screwed up. Bad.(REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque) So now what happens? Actually, a lot, and not a lot. The crazy irony is that when a person is found in contempt … Continue reading →
The Czar, as you know, is not the kind of guy who relies on hysteria for very long. This evening, he read the Supreme Court’s decision, written by Justice Roberts. What we find there is not a total capitulation, but … Continue reading →
Note: this is actually a combined post between the Inscrutable Mandarin and the Czar of Muscovy. Heads up, Americans: today’s SCOTUS decision is actually good news for conservatives, and Justice Roberts knows the Constitution better than your average Congressperson. Surprised? … Continue reading →
Two great writers of note take time out to visit the Castle. Down at the lounge, enjoying something called a zombie killer, was Borepatch, who said (among other things): I love the “scienterrific” neologism! I would just point out that … Continue reading →
Well, one thing you’ve noticed is that between the bunch of us Gormogons, we speak over 1,000 languages. This is a good thing. Someone, maybe Napoleon, said a person who knows two languages is twice the person. Maybe—Napoleon said a … Continue reading →
In a landmark pop psychology study that took over 10 minutes, “researchers” have concluded that pre-teen girls like Justin Bieber, which will surprise no one who has even remotely heard of children. Hey, Beliebers: ask your mom if she loved … Continue reading →
Sorry folks: due to something GorT probably did, the following essay did not publish over the weekend as intended. You enjoy it now, yes? There aren’t a lot of pictures on executive privilege. Here is a baby bunny instead. A … Continue reading →
Special Operative Brass is one of the Castle weaponsmithies, and he reminds us: Dear Dread and Frightful Czar, The reason the EPA dropped the ban [proposed for lead bullets, referenced here] was the Republicans in Congress actually grew a pair … Continue reading →
The Czar attended an open house for an outdoor rifle and pistol range this weekend, much as he has done for the last few years. This particular weekend though found the place overwhelmed with attendees. Yeah, this event is crowded … Continue reading →
Ms. Brigid writes your Czar: A hint on what to get me. I know—I can be tough to shop for. But this time around, I’m making it easy on you. Instead of falling back on a gift card—or cash—you can … Continue reading →
Hey, look what Volgi has EmilyG doing at the Castle! The Czar doesn’t get this stuff, but has to admit this is a neat trick. We need to get pictures of what happened with the lawn darts and bowl of … Continue reading →
It is wrong to gloat over the misfortune of another’s tragedies, but to be clear, the Czar can do anything he wants. And he is sated that Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 counts. And we have some controversial … Continue reading →
Interestingly, political junkies on both the Left and the Right each seem to have a major misconception about the Hispanic voters in the country. Fair is fair, and let us explain them both. Owners of these small businesses want lower … Continue reading →
The affable and strong-of-backbone Nightfly writes in to color in some of our sketches on media bias: Hello, Your Dreaded Awfulness – Many years ago, I took a number of journalism classes in college. Thankfully, the first of my professors … Continue reading →
The objective media is balanced, provided you ignore that tilt to the left. Much ado is being made over MSNBC’s reprehensible editing of Mitt Romney’s comments on the free market, in which his contrast between the simplicity of ordering a … Continue reading →
Three musings. Well, it looks like the not-adolescent party won the Greek elections, and some serious reforms are coming along to save Greece, Europe, and even partly American economy, right? Not so fast: there are strong indications that the Left … Continue reading →
Elizabeth Warren’s people believed that the coyote represented the Trickster spirit in legend. Turns out, the real thing works pretty much the same way. One of the ways President Obama won his 2008 election—and all his previous ones—was by his … Continue reading →
In the magazine business, you have a group that decides what the layout of the cover is going to look like. Anywhere from three to five different covers are developed, each with a different image. A small group, or even … Continue reading →
Look out. Catholics don’t often mobilize, but when they do… Isn’t that rich. The President, in trying to convince Catholics that his HHS directive was not a violation of their religious freedom, enlisted the Catholic Health Association to support his … Continue reading →
“Man, I wish June was over. And we’re barely at the halfway point.” Far be it from the Czar to quote the Washington Post favorably, but even they are calling BS on the President’s immigration announcement Friday. Right in the … Continue reading →
There is an entire course in psychology within this 3:16 Craig Ferguson clip. All of it is right.Thanks to FotG Jonah Goldberg for alerting us to this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Military strength, lower spending, lower taxes, free market capitalism and family values are the five legs to the Republican elephant. Polls continue to show incumbent Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney in a statistical tie. The Czar refers to the … Continue reading →
Hey, lucky readers! Know what can be even more fun than reading the Czar? Hearing a faithful reading of one his posts! Check out, and continue to check in with, the folks at Own the Narrative, in which they read … Continue reading →
Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. What’s changed is that you aren’t as nice. The Volgi and the Czar both found that we are all supposed to get ready for Occupy 2.0, a re-launched, re-branded, new logoed, … Continue reading →
US Commerce Secretary John Bryson was ticketed in a California hit and run, in which his car struck into two others. He took off, and was found incoherent (allegedly and possibly not) behind the wheel a short distance later. Why … Continue reading →
Conservatives and Republicans alike had an amazing week. The Czar has been saying over and over that the Right is dominating the social media scene: Twitter, Blogger, Thiser, Thatter, and (increasingly) Facebook is now becoming a vast, right-wing playground from … Continue reading →
If it all possible, protect your data by putting a physical lock on it and a little bit of loose chain as pictured. That keeps just about everybody out, unless they simply lift up the lock and move it to … Continue reading →
This is Jack MacRae, who is one of the coolest guys around. In addition to his skills at animal care, he teaches some superb survival courses and tells some pretty funny stories. Today is the Царевич’s seventh birthday, and he … Continue reading →
What does your license plate reveal about you? Unless you have a customized vanity plate, your car’s plates probably has a seemingly random series of numbers and letters. Seemingly. Actually, your license plate has a lot of encoded information in … Continue reading →
How the Obama campaign has been treating the press; and the press has beengetting a little tired of it. Many of us on the Right are thumping our knees with laughter over the Left’s outrageous denial that the Walker re-election … Continue reading →
DT has found an amazing way to create a sustainable energy source using water and lawn trimmings, but that is not nearly as interesting as the message he sends the Czar: Your Czariness, This has every indication of being a … Continue reading →
No less a personage than Dick Morris—whom liberals will remember helped Bill Clinton get re-elected—said that he has done the math on November’s election. Polls can be fairly accurate predictors of election results provided they are analyzed based on historical … Continue reading →
Paul Krugman clearly appears over the deep end. What should be done about the economy? Republicans claim to have the answer: slash spending and cut taxes. What they hope voters won’t notice is that that’s precisely the policy we’ve been … Continue reading →
Hat tip to someone. Who the hell knows. Google grabbed it off Tumblr, and…frankly, who even knows what that means. Nobody on the damned internet speaks English anymore. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
The Czar was surprised when paying bills last night. Not by the amount of a bill, nor by the services rendered heretofore. Rather, the Czar’s ever-tense eyes were caught by the return envelope. The return envelope—and we still hold our … Continue reading →
For the convenience of our guests, and mostly to cut down on our own repair bills, all of the Castle Toilets have been ‘Puterized for safety. A picture is shown to the right of what gets hidden behind the wet … Continue reading →
The Czar has often remarked that the worst job in politics right now is Press Secretary Jay Carney’s. Think about it: each morning he gets up, puts on his suit and tie, and wonders what the hell he’s going to … Continue reading →
The Czar was surprised to receive an email from Aaron Colohan, whom you will not immediately recall was the subject of a Czarish rant. The Czar doubts you readers will research this, so allow him to summarize. Mr. Colohan wrote … Continue reading →
One of the Czar’s relatives was executed by the Nazis for helping Jews escape from Poland, by hiding them on his farm until the heat was off. True fact. Two Three thoughts about the President’s comments about Polish death camps … Continue reading →
Well, one of us was bound to say something about Mayor Bloomberg’s Progressive Campaign to rid the Big Apple of the Dreaded Dr. Pepper. Suffice it to say, when you elect a Progressive, you give him the sense that you … Continue reading →
Sonny Bunch has a superb summary of recent political shifts on the Left, as told by Liberal sources complaining about the Right. Not only is it ingenious, but it is smack on the money. Basically, the Left has been complaining … Continue reading →
Uncle Jay returns from Internet purgatory to let us know he has been hanging around the Castle parking lot, wherein the found this: It is not the Czar’s, for verily a motorbike he does not ride. Could be a hotel … Continue reading →
Frequently, folks on the Right accuse the mainstream media of throwing out distraction stories—tales calculated to drive you away from lefty scandals, Democrat Party screw-ups, and general Keystone-Koppery from the liberals. Alas, in the previous three years, the average member … Continue reading →
One finds that arguing with an environmentalist is empowering for them within 5 minutes, and disastrous for them within 10 minutes. In other words, the longer you engage them, the worse they do. What it comes down to is that … Continue reading →
The great and wonderous Borepatch writes into the Czar (and jeez, we hope we had his permission to reprint this; ah well, not much we can do about it now) to say: Your outstanding post covered the subject of Dr. … Continue reading →
Wow. Go to Google news and check out how many stories there are about the “Vatileaks” scandal. Vatileaks? What, Vatigate was taken? Is —leaks the new tag the media can use as a shorthand cliché for a person who releases … Continue reading →
For the record, and right up front, the Czar is a significant proponent of evolutionary theory. For him, the evidence is overwhelming and consistent. But when Richard Leakey says that the debate will soon be over, the Czar rolls his … Continue reading →
Two probably unrelated political thoughts. First, this Elizabeth Warren nonsense. The Czar understands that Massachusetts voters don’t seem to care that she may or may not have Cherokee ancestry: they seem to be zeroing in on whether she can do … Continue reading →
The New York Times Sunday Review has a strange editorial that seems completely diconnected from reality. Are you shocked? Entitled “Bring Back the Real Maverick,” the piece covers how Senator John McCain (R-2008) is interested in a law that requires … Continue reading →
The Gormogons like to play compare and contrast in order to reach a higher sense of understanding. Yesterday, the Czar excoriated the vile Charles Worley for his know-nothing rant about gays. In response, the Czar received what he considers a … Continue reading →
Charles Worley is a tremendous jackass. Worse, he thinks he’s funny. Worley is some schmuck who wants to imprison gay people behind an electric fence in anticipation that they die out. He is an evil, hateful person and he knows … Continue reading →
The Czar is wont to make predictions, and today he makes another one. Society has basically had enough with goofy leftism. 2010 saw a major political swing back toward something resembling common sense, although clearly there is much work to … Continue reading →
Long-term Operative SC sends in a video to the Czar, with a request to share it with you all. You probably have already seen it, and for the most part, you made up your mind on this issue long before … Continue reading →
Cubs fans are a weirdly persistent lot; they would follow their team to the ends of the Earth. So much so that many teams like to play the Cubs at home because their usually empty stadiums are filled with concessions-buying … Continue reading →
Good evening; I’m Cobb Webb, and this is April Schauers, with your local Chicago 9:00 news. Our lead story tonight is the NATO protests which brought terror to the streets of Chicago, as throngs of protestors battled Chicago police for … Continue reading →
Look, Axelrod, no matter how much you plant headlines like The GOP’s sad infatuation with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, you’re never going to pin this racist lunatic on Republicans. Fact is, it wasn’t the Republicans who attended his church for 20 … Continue reading →
Does anyone recall last year when the Czar wrote about the Цесаревич’s spectacular and politically (un)popular baseball adventure, in which his plucky band of die-hard teammates took on the well-funded and well-organized baseball team of a Very Wealthy Suburb called … Continue reading →
You may have missed it, but this week has been really one slap of bad news after another for the Obama campaign. Whether it’s blowback from turning a Medal of Honor ceremony into a political stump speech, or a jaw-droppingly … Continue reading →
The morning television greeted us this morning. One of the murderers of that Connecticut family, behind bars, is speaking out for the first time about his ordeal…. Dare you kid? Why would one invoke the Czar’s rage when you know … Continue reading →
Over at The Corner, Kevin D. Williamson discusses a nonsensical promotion to change the third-person singular indeterminate pronoun from he to they. In other words, rather than say the traditional “If the auditor needs more information, he should request it … Continue reading →
The Czar will not deny he gets great email. Take this message from the Burgher of Bong. Bong is a real place, and it is just to the South of our Castle. The Burgher came to visit us once, and … Continue reading →
Although Oceania has always been at war with East Asia, it is interesting how little we understand each other. The Czar would prefer not to describe the generally petty differences between liberals and conservatives, for example, as war. But no … Continue reading →
It is interesting, is it not, what amuses us at the Castle? Put here to annoy the crap out of you all day. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar … Continue reading →
It is no secret that many of us who dwell in the Castle read a fair amount of HP Lovecraft in our day. And apparently so has much of the Internet as well. With that in mind, and because not … Continue reading →
CNN asks a question that quite frankly a lot of people around the world are asking: who gives a crap about Greece? Other than the Greeks, naturally. Seriously, though, why not let it collapse and let it rebuild? Author Tim … Continue reading →
You know what’s incredibly dangerous to Democrats’ identity politics? Gay Americans who think for themselves. Long-time Gormogons Twitter collaborator Gay Patriot has a home run post that reveals what a total crock the President’s suddenly evolved position on Same Sex … Continue reading →
As you heard, Joltin’ Joe Biden announced that he’s now totally in favor of same sex marriage, and cited a fifteen-year-old television show he evidently never watched as the reason why. The President, though, is still evolving on the subject. … Continue reading →
Well, if you need any more evidence that Leftists want to take over every aspect of your life, here is yet one more that indicates utter cluelessness: America’s obesity epidemic is so deeply rooted that it will take dramatic and … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar concedes that he was hoping either Dr. J. or the Mandarin would write a review for The Avengers first. Clearly, they are waiting for us to do it. First, some generalizations: Well done. Go see it. Very … Continue reading →
If you can put up with annoying ads and popups, Forbes posted an article by Eric Jackson called “Here’s Why Google and Facebook Might Completely Disappear in the Next 5 Years.” Mr. Jackson’s premise is that companies like Google and … Continue reading →
Is it purely the Czar’s cynicism here, or is this Life of Julia nonsense another one of those gold mine gifts to the Republican party, who will in turn do absolutely nothing with it? Assuming Mitt Romney is the challenger, … Continue reading →
The Wall Street Journal has a nicely balanced online piece on tweens’s use of the Internet. Instead of the usual scare-your-pants-off fear mongering, the essay takes a really solid look at the more popular sites and social media that todays … Continue reading →
Your newly twisted media meme of the hour is the rapid departure of Richard Grenell from his post as Mitt Romney’s spokesperson for foreign affairs. Without so much as a by-your-leave, and only minutes into the job it seems, Grenell … Continue reading →
Volgi has a cat, does he not? Also, you should know that Mandarin actually smiled at this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
Are you ready for SuperMoon? Oh, you gotta be ready for SuperMoon! “Supermoon alert: Biggest full moon of 2012 due Sat.” screams FoxNews! “Weekend ‘Supermoon’ Will be 2012’s Largest” promises KSEE, Fresno. “That’s not just a full moon this week, … Continue reading →
If the Czar could wish anything for your survival, it would be the gift of skepticism. When someone runs up to you with a stunning claim (“I just saw Bigfoot! And eleventy!”), your first response really should be “How good … Continue reading →
The Czar and family have recently joined the millions of iPhone users. In short, the Царица’s old push-button cell phone was becoming too difficult to do more than rare text message. Recently, her school district’s teachers have begun to text … Continue reading →
The boys’ baseball games were rained out today here in Muscovy, so this is what we are spending our day watching: Parry Gripp is a genius. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
