Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
Ordinarily, on a holiday like Memorial Day, you get a lecture about how good you have it, and how you should be remembering all those lost lives rather than going out and partying. Not this year, though. Instead, with this … Continue reading →
It’s seriously bad when your blinders are on this long. The Chicago Sun-Times tends to skew slightly right-of-center in its editorial reporting (though it is getting lefty), but its featured columnists are way off the left end. Competing for most … Continue reading →
All part of life’s rich pageant. NOAA: We have data that corresponds to evidence of climate change. Lib Media Machine: Ah! You should listen to NOAA. They are scientists! They know this stuff. Now fund our green jobs. Global warming … Continue reading →
Regarding our attempt to fathom the President’s weird dissonance on Israel, the Doctor writes: Czaralicious, I liked your post. I grew up with very pro-israel Jews as friends, so I’m a bit of a Zionist. Besides I see them as … Continue reading →
Man, the Czar wishes he didn’t agree with this. Can you imagine the US becoming a Euroweenie country as bad as any you can name? You bet you can, and Ken Blackwell points out that 2012 is the Rubicon for … Continue reading →
First, the Czar would like to confirm that yes, the ability to time travel with GorT has many educational advantages. You can learn a whole lot about the future by going there. Second, and somewhat related, the Czar would like … Continue reading →
The following is a subject the Czar has been struggling to understand for some time now, and no doubt (most of) you are equally puzzled. But really, what the hell is going on with the President and Israel? First, in … Continue reading →
A typical email, but one we chose because it seems really flattering: Do my eyes deceive me, or is there new wallpaper in the background on the blog? What is it, and who picked it out? It looks very nice … Continue reading →
Fake Herzog does what more of you should do, and write in: ‘Puter hit the ball out of the park (was it perhaps a tee ball?) today with his post on E.J. Dionne and the Catholic Church’s position on economics … Continue reading →
So the Czar found himself coaching a tee-ball game today. Due to a variety of scheduling conflicts, only a single assistant coach showed up. So the Czar, dropping off the Царевич (who won the game ball for some outstanding defensive … Continue reading →
MC writes in to discuss music. Dread, awful, and sometimes lyrical Czar, Rush (the band) are not the most conservative rock band out there, but these lyrics have some relevance during this second term of Jimmy Carter’s presidency (this song … Continue reading →
DT responds to BG and Dr. J: For some* reason, reading this epistle of yours brought to mind the Billy Joel (pbuh) song “Angry Young Man” to mind: There’s a place in the world for the angry young man With … Continue reading →
BG writes in to ask Dr. J: Your Czariness – You write, “The Czar is curious that members of San Francisco lefty lefts think that surgical and safe removal of the foreskin is detrimental to the child, but that cutting … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, Very briefly, two news items to keep an eye on. Remember when we discussed the attempts to place a ban on male circumcision in San Francisco? Well, it’s made the ballot in November. It would become a … Continue reading →
The election season has (let’s be honest) already begun. We are already seeing some of the familiar patterns re-emerge from the media, many of which have already been identified and reported here. But let us condense a short list of … Continue reading →
Dr. Boli is teh awsum. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
A nod to Huckabee: he realized that he would be wasting millions of Americans’ donation dollars, and for what? He doesn’t stand enough of a chance to survive a primary, and will only suck votes away from someone who could. … Continue reading →
First some thoughts on Thor from BG: Great and Terrible Czar – Our neutered female cat likes to hang around my wife while she’s getting dressed. Is Thor an appropriate movie for cats that like to watch naked women? Is … Continue reading →
The Czar has just returned from seeing Thor with the family, all of whom endorse the movie as whopping good entertainment. As a sort-of review, the Czar will entertain your most essential questions, so that you can decide if you … Continue reading →
The Czar received some nice thoughts from all of you on his empty leash vignette, and evidently it struck a chord with some of you. But you know perfectly well that the Gormogons have the smartest readership around, and no … Continue reading →
This past week, driving home, passed by a veterinary clinic. A woman in her sixties, sitting in the shade of a tree alongside the parking lot, sobbing uncontrollably into the crook of her left arm. In her right hand, an … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Well, we seem to be back on line. Evidently, Blogger has figured out what the red button does that says Do Not Push. We hope one of them wrote it down. We lost some material up here, so our apologies, … Continue reading →
Hi. Czar here. Due to a technical error that appears to lie with our provider, our posts are not presently showing who wrote which post. You can probably guess who wrote which, but until we figure out whom the Czar … Continue reading →
“You know,” the Czar said to his foreign policy advisor as we pushed two shells into the shotgun, “Polls are funny things, Vanya.” We yelled pull, and Ivan Zborikov held two orange plates out at arm’s length, one in each … Continue reading →
GD writes in with a couple more arguments and reminders about Corporate Tax Rates (including GorT’s favorite). Sorry: sometimes we assume that you all know this, but GD is right to add this in for our many first-time readers: Dread, … Continue reading →
You may have heard that the University of Missouri St. Louis (UMSL) had some explaining to do when students alleged that two co-instructors—under the aegis of teaching Introduction to Labor Studies—taught, encouraged, and flaunted illegal and unethical activities to two … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, There is much talk today about the debt limit. At the National Tea Party Convention, the Republican leadership were given a warning that raising the debt ceiling without real changes in spending will result in primary challenges … Continue reading →
The next time some weenus says that maintaining obscene corporate profits are why our jobs are moving overseas, point them to this picture: Here is why jobs are going overseas: the corporate income tax rate. Ask them which businesses pay … Continue reading →
President Obama’s exact words about Usâma bin-Lâdin on 60 Minutes: “And I think that anyone who would question that the perpetrator of mass murder on American soil didn’t deserve what he got needs to have their head examined.” So the … Continue reading →
DT writes in to say: Oh Czar, Destroyer of Worlds: I won’t miss Osama a bit, and am pleased that he’s now fellating Satan on a full-time basis. However, I can’t stop asking myself Why? Why was the order to … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, Mickey D’s created 25% of the new jobs in April. Wesley Smith, at The Corner speculates that a waiver exempting them from Obamacare helped. That theory was originally floated in this forum. However, truth be told, Dr. … Continue reading →
Days ago, the Czar wrote to tell you that Illinois was seriously considering concealed carry. One commenter on our Twitter site thought we were a bit too optmistic, since there was no way Illinois would really consider concealed carry. Yes, … Continue reading →
Gotta love a letter that opens like this: Dear Dread and Wonderful Czar, From what you wrote about Pakistan in Bit 3 of your “Four Little Tidbits” post, it sounds like Pakistan could be described as the Yugoslavia of the … Continue reading →
AH writes a nice, thoughtful transmission: Esteemed Czar of Muscovy: I hope you will indulge me with something of an answer to your recent piece on natural selection. I too find it refreshing to discuss the issue using familiar products. … Continue reading →
GD writes in: Dread and awesome Czar, I thought “natural selection” and true “evolution” were two different things? Related, but different. Moths adapting their coloring, weeds naturally selecting to resist a herbicide, etc. are all “natural selection”. Isn’t evolution more … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written, but all the preparations for the Royal Wedding here at the Trailer-Park-at-the-Edge-of-Town left me with precious little time. You gentlemen of the Castle have no idea how hard it is … Continue reading →
Four quick items for you: On the Obama administration’s changing stories about the raid: This is not a surprise. All of this news is based on after-action reports compiled from the guys on the scene. If you have ever read … Continue reading →
An astonishing number of people reject evolution. This rejection is always of interest to the Czar, because there is (a) a widespread perception that evolution lacks clear evidence despite (b) a tremendous amount of it. Many in the scientific community … Continue reading →
Betcha didn’t know that Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a draft script for Star Wars. Well he did. And here it is. 3:11 of boredom and ennui disguised as release. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
Astute reader (but ain’t you all?) Mallethead writes in to point out that he has solved the identity of the secret 10th Supreme Court justice over at FantasySCOTUS. Um, yeah: It is indeed GorT. How do you think Heller got … Continue reading →
Illinois is slowly moving toward concealed carry. Legislation is under way that will allow Illinois residents, 21 and over and in good legal standing, the ability to carry concealed. On the one hand, this is good news for Illinois residents; … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar’s okhrana was able to obtain mission pictures that neither the Press nor the White House want to show you. Here they are, along with the comments we received. So like, here’s the guys on the team just … Continue reading →
The Czar will not mince words here. Bin-Lâdin is dead, and Obama got him. We have already seen comments on pro-liberal blogs that the “tea baggers” are going to deny this is a victory for the President, but as always, … Continue reading →
Appears so. In case you had not heard, the Obama administration is expected to announce shortly that Public Enemy Number 1 has been killed by an American attack last week, and DNA evidence due back today confirms it. Well, give … Continue reading →
The Czar has spent an uncomfortable majority of the weekend watching his boys play baseball. The Цесаревич and Царевич are both on teams this year; however, the Цесаревич had his very first game of the season yesterday, and smeared the … Continue reading →
GorT has this great idea to go back in time and attend the Royal Wedding, which you read all about, below. While there, Mandarin says there is something weird about Princess Kate. “When did she become a blonde?” So we … Continue reading →
Congratulations to the happy couple. Naturally, the Gormogons were invited to the wedding, and we were delighted to oblige when Princess Kate or whatever her name is asked us to take a group shot with the wedding party. You will … Continue reading →
If the Czar were a liberal, he would be wringing his hands in despair. There are dark days ahead for Liberalism, and indeed they might be final days. Like someone said in the Bible about the Poor, liberals will always … Continue reading →
This is officially cool. Check out the Photopic Sky Survey: it is a 360° x 360° photograph of the entire night sky, minus planets and moons. You can view it with information (click on the link), or optionally turn it … Continue reading →
Nice observations. I entirely agree with you, so that’s boring and as gentlemen we shall not speak of it again. Have you read Stanislaw Lem? In particular I recommend Fiasco and His Master’s Voice on the general topic of bleak, … Continue reading →
Just to keep everyone updated, the Czar has talked here, here, and here about the shenanigans of Chicago’s renegade priest Fr. Michael Pfleger. And as of yesterday, he was suspended by the Archdiocese of Chicago. As the Cardinal wrote in … Continue reading →
Democrats in Massachusetts voted overwhelmingly to deny future collective bargaining by police, fire, teachers, and other public sector unions. Thus spake local AFL-CIO president Robert “Robber” Haynes: It’s pretty stunning. . . . These are the same Democrats that all … Continue reading →
You all know that the Gormogons love science dearly—although to be fair, ‘Puter dislikes the mathy-kind of science and likes the coloring-book-kind so much more. Once, he watched a high definition animation of an asteroid crashing into Earth and wiping … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, You are dead on in your analysis. When you couple the release of the birth certificate today with the peculiar reshuffling of the national security leadership (Gates out, Panetta to the Pentagon and Petraeus to the CIA) … Continue reading →
By now you have heard that Americans are resoundingly rejecting Paul Ryan’s budget plan, and that protests are dogging him and other Republicans wherever they go. Except, you might not have heard, it does not appear to be true. A … Continue reading →
The Czar, like 99% of Americans, does not care about the Great Birth Certificate Issue. All right, let us be honest about this. Suppose the Birthers are right. Here is the bottom line: Birthers: President Obama was born in Kenya, … Continue reading →
Over at Big Hollywood, there is a curious essay about the failure of Blu-Ray technology to make a profit when working with Hollywood’s classic films. Not really a surprise, though. When you watch an action-packed, many-things-at-once modern Hollywood film in … Continue reading →
Strange things are afoot. Rumors in certain circles are spreading that there may have been an unsuccessful coup attempt over the weekend. Something bad happened there, and it sounds like another piece of malware, possibly named Stars, is responsible. Ahmadî-Nezhâd … Continue reading →
Frank over at IMAO has a superb essay on why (a) the Left thought it was okay to make fun of Trig Palin in such a grotesque and repugnant fasion, but why (b) Trig Palin scares the hell out of … Continue reading →
From your pals at the Castle. Our plans for world oppression and domination will pause, briefly, today out of respect. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
Hey everybody!!! I’m back! It’s’ me, Medea Mainstream, and the Czar asked me to rite about a news story from the news. So today I am writing about senator Enzine and how he got fired from the goverment. He robbed … Continue reading →
So the Czar found a copy of The New York Times laying about (we choose these words specifically as a pointed jab), and flipped through it. Within was an interesting article on the weird socio-political No Woman’s Land that Camilla … Continue reading →
Dear Czarest of Czars, Wow. I had no idea that priest was acting up so much. I had heard he was politically active (endorsing Obama, etc), but it’s crazy what he has done. As a priest myself I hope I … Continue reading →
Oh wise and mighty Czar, Please forgive my stupidity, but since I am not Catholic I had a serious question about the missive. Is paying a prostitute to attend counseling a bad thing? I mean, if it gets them in … Continue reading →
Dread & Awful Czar, Tax day passed us by again this year, and for the 55% of us who paid taxes, were were reminded, yet again, of the politics and waste that revolve around the sorry state of our Federal … Continue reading →
Non-Catholic readers of this site must be surprised with the Roman Catholic tilt here the last couple of weeks, but there is news afoot. Chicago Catholics are all-too-familiar with the perpetual shenanigans of Fr. Michael Pfleger, the pastor of Saint … Continue reading →
Let us put some pieces together. 1. Donald Trump, suddenly advocating a lot of Tea Party things, jumps up in GOP polling to where he is right with Mitt Romney. 2. He then begins putting out a lot of stereotypical … Continue reading →
Yesterday was a bad day for America. Not just Wall Street, but the whole country. It was mega-bad. It could be a second recession all over again kind of bad. All you know is that the stock prices fell, and … Continue reading →
An editorial in The Washington Examiner is slow enough to discover that President Obama is “not as nice as he looks.” No kidding. What caught the editors’s slow attention was the way Obama invited Paul Ryan to sit in the … Continue reading →
If you are like the Czar, you have already used The White House’s online tax receipt calculator to see where your money allegedly goes. Actually, if you’re like the Czar, you already suspect the IRS is gleefully monitoring every number … Continue reading →
Leave it to your Uncle Jay to find a picture of what the Mandarin has been up to lately. The sad thing is that the baboon (the monkey in the photo, not the Big Guy) is probably a better shot … Continue reading →
Muscovy is not the largest community, and so the fact it has its own Catholic Church (Наша Дама Вечера) is quite remarkable in itself. Anyway, it remains a fact that the Цесаревич must attend the church’s annual religious educational program … Continue reading →
Dear Your Sneakyness, I read your little internal chat– I’m such a rebel! And there’s nothing you can do to stop me! I’m like a Jacobin revolution! (just without the beheadings and anti-catholicism) Two questions- how serious are the situations … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, Dr. J. listened to President Obama’s petulant speech this afternoon. It is clear that he is not going to work with the Republicans going into the 2012 election. He is expecting them to ultimately wuss out and … Continue reading →
ElJay, who must never be teased, touched, or messed with, wrote in to GorT and the Czar to say: Most vainglorious Gormogons (or words to that effect)! Remember back in ancient history (several years ago) when STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, … Continue reading →
The Czar is completely behind the message, but is a little bemused that we have an actress, who is not scientist or engineer, telling kids to become scientists and engineers, and using Iron Man, about a fictional engineer using non-existent … Continue reading →
Dear readers: please ignore this post. This is intended for Volgi, Mandarin, ‘Puter, or GorT. Would one of you geniuses mind revealing who was so freaking hung-over-tired this morning that he left a bowl of Kix cereal, with milk and … Continue reading →
Ay-yi-yi, on the one hand. But on the other hand, the Czar is delighted so many of you are grouping your emails together by subject. DT wants to add a little to Dr. (KN) J’s explication of the buget resolution: … Continue reading →
Thanks to GorT’s time travel skillz, the Czar was just watching Diary of a Middle-Aged Kid IX: Mid-Life Crisis last night (the scene with Greg getting busted with that shemale Thai hooker is hysterical), when he found out that Muscovy … Continue reading →
You will want to read the Great Dr. Boli’s guide to British v. American English. It is brief. And scores a couple of points. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →
O Most Dread and Awful Czar, As is the unfortunate custom with all things numerate, the media discussions concerning the most recent round of budget nonsense from our elite overlords have never provided any useful context for consideration. As they … Continue reading →
Sorry, GorT, old buddy. Back to work forcing “upgrades” into human brains on Monday. Shame, too, because your plans for a Death Moat were just damn cool. This has worked out very well for the GOP, incidentally, if they elect … Continue reading →
Well, by now you have heard that Justice David Prosser of Wisconsin has somehow produced over seven-thousand votes that were lost under highly questionable circumstances. Although at the time of this writing his opponent has not conceded, there seems to … Continue reading →
The Царица, as most of you know, is a school teacher. Not surprisingly, many of her friends are as well. Last Sunday, we were at a birthday party for one such teacher’s little daughter, R. The mother asked the Царица … Continue reading →
This is post is dedicated strictly to the handful of liberal readers that we have; more conservative, bitter, unhappy, and nasty readers who want the Czar to produce good quality essays can simply read this 2009 post for now. Hello, … Continue reading →
Linky-links. More from the Czar’s mailbag. First, the SundryReport discovers a press release buried by the world press, in which missing material from Washington Post’s guest editorial writer Richard Goldstone reveals further proof of his theory that Israel intentionally wages … Continue reading →
The Czar has been engulfed with mail lately. Here is a sampling of the best, starting with JS, writing in about his favorite episode of The Six Million Dollar Man: Dear Czesar, You said “even the Czar is at a … Continue reading →
Is it the Czar’s imagination, or have the mainstream media largely ignored the Paul Ryan budget proposal? You know all about it of course, because you tend to use multiple news sources…but only scant mention in the local papers and … Continue reading →
Gormogon art director BL just sent the Czar a picture he found in an antique shop not far from our castle. The Czar has elected not to print it, not merely because it is borderline NSFW, as the hipsters say, … Continue reading →
Your Awesomeness, So the alternative remains: have the union members pay their own dues. What will happen is that members will immediately notice their paychecks bump up in pay. They will deposit or cash their paychecks, and turn that into … Continue reading →
According to The Christian Science Monitor’s Mark Guarino, today’s local elections in Wisconsin are all about collective bargaining: Election Day in Wisconsin, Tuesday, is becoming yet another chapter in the ongoing debate over the collective-bargaining power for unions in that … Continue reading →
Dear The Czar, Dr. J. has watched the video for President Obama’s ‘IN’ campaign. Dr. J. has since observed his ‘sheeple’ friends throw in with BHO and the ‘IN’ crowd via Facebook and other social media constructs. He expects the … Continue reading →
Dear Czarman, I have been reading your comments on public schools, and I filter them by my relative’s experiences (by which I mean you’re spot on). She has taught in both public and private schools, but for some reason the … Continue reading →
The Czar took a lead from ‘Puter (who is drop-dead gorgeous, if you (a) like open head wounds and (b) are willing to drop dead), and flipped through his wife’s quarterly teacher’s union magazine. The theme of the entire issue … Continue reading →
For all the belly-aching about the high price of gasoline, you know perfectly well you’re going to be driving to work and school, to the grocery store, and even to family and friends for parties. You won’t be getting a … Continue reading →
Well, you may disappointed that the Republicans have been trying to cut $62 billion out of the budget, but the most the Democrats might consider is $33 billion. Does it matter? Many GOP politicians—especially Tea Partiers—are saying it makes no … Continue reading →
Actually, all of the Czar’s suspicions were largely confirmed about AF447. Basically, here is a simplification of what occurred. The plane disappeared off radar, which is natural over the Atlantic Ocean because radar cannot follow the Earth’s curvature, and there … Continue reading →
Three things to share. First, BG writes in with a great explanation of the President’s opposition to oil company land leases: Dread and Awful Czar – You write that President Obama “…argues that oil companies have plenty of capacity onshore … Continue reading →
