Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
The Czar suspects that this story is getting some ground because it is a conservative vs. liberal issue. Let us hope not. Dr. Carole Lieberman, a self-proclaimed “media psychiatrist” (uh oh) declared to Fox News that recent increases in rapes … Continue reading →
Ingmar Guandique, the MS-13 gang banger who brutally killed Chandra Levy back in 2001, was sentenced to 60 years by a DC superior court today. Read through the news stories about this. Here’s one, for example. Note the passing reference … Continue reading →
As expected, protests flared up in Yemen; however, the Czar was mildly surprised to see Algerians turned out by the thousands so soon after Egypt’s success. And no doubt while the media tries to spin this as a great thing, … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: While your good buddy Hosni enjoys a little rest and recuperation in Sharm el-Shaik, I thought it might be a good time for Those-Who- Dwell- in-Castle -Gormogon to use their manifest powers to tidy up a few loose … Continue reading →
You know how we often say that the major media will write stories to fit a pre-decided template and if the news does not fit that template, they will change it until it does? You will recall Tunisia overthrew their … Continue reading →
The Czar received this letter from Egyptian landmark Ḥusnī Mubārak. Evidently, the Czar was to have released this to the world media or something, but was under the weather and forgot. Instead of that, we will simply post it here … Continue reading →
People in politics don’t think or even speak like normal humans. Today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) questioned CBO director Douglas Elmendorf on whether Obamacare will create jobs. Ryan: But if I recall from your analysis, it was quite the opposite. … Continue reading →
What an unusually honest and balanced piece of editorial writing. CNN, of all folks, has an opinion piece on its website by Ed Rollins, a GOP strategist, on whether President Obama can be beaten in 2012. You can read it … Continue reading →
DT takes a moment to spike this through our Hollywood-created token ring firewall: Oh Divine Ruler of the Land, the Skies, the Seas, and Some Castle None of Us Have Ever Seen, Except Perhaps Dr. J. in a Drunken Vision, … Continue reading →
BG writes in after a brief absence: Dread and Awful Czar – You write, “The pop star hyper-coloratura version is the worst way to do it. “ I must beg to differ. It is the worst way that it has … Continue reading →
Dread and Awful Czar, Dr. J. has been battling an outbreak of Yeti flu in New Atlantis. We finally have them buggers under control and it’s time to return with some Gormotastic commentary. So pour some oil on Dr. J’s … Continue reading →
The messages have been piling up around here. If you noticed during the Super Bowl game the weird flashing lights during the Black Eyed Peas show, you probably noticed they tapped out a Morse Code message using the Syriac alphabet. … Continue reading →
The Super Bowl party at the Castle was pretty good. ‘Puter did a nice job cooking some brats on the grille (it is indeed one way to get rid of mouthy, spoiled kids), and everyone loved the Volkwagen commercial. Mandarin, … Continue reading →
Hey, if you’re not following us on Twitter, you’re missing out on half the fun! Well, maybe not half. Perhaps an eighth. Anyway, it costs you zip and has all sorts of lunacy you don’t find here. Go ahead. Click … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
For the fifteen of you who escaped the blizzard of 2011, here is a taste of what we had around Chicago. Start watching around 30 seconds in to get the full effect. Someone tell Borepatch his old house is under … Continue reading →
MH, one of our growing entourage of Canadian readers, uses his maple powers to analyze the American liberal scene. In particular, he takes a good look at their hatred of Sarah Palin, and by God, the Czar thinks he is … Continue reading →
Ridiculous, this picture. The Czar cannot remind you readers enough: even if you know the weapon is unloaded, never put your finger in the trigger guard unless you are firing the weapon. This woman knows nothing about basic firearm safety. … Continue reading →
The Czar loves stories like this. Three high school students discovered a radio pulsar in the constellation Ophiucus. Way to go! Above, the students receive official confirmation of their discovery. Hannah Mabry, center, hopes to become a radio astronomer and … Continue reading →
There is a story going around the Internet about a 35-year-old retired Gorkha who singlehandedly took on anywhere from 10-40 armed thugs who were (a) attempting to rob a train and (b) attempting to rape a passenger on the train. … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Might I offer a random observation concerning your first points in yesterday’s “News Roundup”? Now you might be sitting in your frozen castle up in Muscovy wondering what in tarnation Sarah Palin and Mohammed El-Baradei could possibly have … Continue reading →
As the situation worsens in Egypt, you continue to hear references to The Domino Theory. First Tunisia, now Egypt, and protests (or attempts at protests) are taking place in Jordan, Yemen, and Syria. The success of one protest emboldens the … Continue reading →
And you might ask what the media has been fixated on, lately. Going through the day’s headlines, here is the schematic: Egyptians are protesting because they want to be like America. And Mohammed El-Baradei is the best candidate to lead … Continue reading →
Eeesh. Even in 1949, this picture probably disturbed a lot of people. Bet the story on Teen-Age Punks was worth reading, too. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Would you like the Gormogons to move the planets around? Oh I do want. But what I really want—if we’re remaking the Solar System to order—is for Mars and Venus moved to our orbit. Let their temperature regulate to ‘close … Continue reading →
Like you, we have been wondering about Kim Jŏng Il. Sure, he’s an affable dresser and a bon vivant at potluck dinners. But what has he actually accomplished? Quite a lot, as it turns out. Read through this list and … Continue reading →
Question 1: What if you took away the moon, and instead put other celestial bodies at the same distance; how big or small would they appear to be? Question 2: Is this the sort of thing you would like the … Continue reading →
All-knowing and mighty Czar, Just curious, do you have any information on the efficiency of energy conversion for electric cars? It’s been decades since I took thermodynamics so I’m having a hard time wrapping my rapidly decaying old brain around … Continue reading →
BBC News reports that over 100,000 people have begun highly vocal, organized protests in Yemen, echoing the Egyptian protests. No official government response in Yemen yet. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
Uncle Jay sends us this, written in charcoal on the back of a corrugated PVC lawn sign: O Cruel and Vicious Czar, By the Grace of God, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias, of Moscow, Kiev, Vladimir, Novgorod, yadda … Continue reading →
There is a joke once popular among Egyptians and more appropriate now than ever. Roughly translated, it goes like this: “The Angel of Death comes to Ḥusnī Mubārak, and says ‘It is time. Say good bye to the Egyptian people.’ … Continue reading →
The Czar drank his way through a two-fer episode of Salvage 1 on channel 488 last night over at the Leaping Peacock, along with ‘Puter, GorT, and the Mandarin—while evidently the Volgi remained in charge at the Castle watching putt-putt … Continue reading →
HOLLYWOOD, Jan. 25, 2011 / Associated Press/ With the Redbox release of Saw VII, Hollywood is beginning to take notice of the franchise’s success. Saw VII is the seventh film in the franchise, which released the initial movie, Saw, in … Continue reading →
Two quick items you might have understandably missed in the news. 1. Union membership is down, nationally, by over 600,000 members versus last year. This downward trend continues and places union popularity back to 1930s levels (pre-New Deal!). Expect next … Continue reading →
Well done. Thanks for Professor Mondo for the link. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of … Continue reading →
Well, you always wondered whether cell phones were really all that dangerous to use on planes, have you not? And CNN, digging deep, comes up with no answers at all, but instead puts together a godawful mess of a story. … Continue reading →
Airhead editorialist Dana Milbank wants to take a pledge: that as much as he cannot stand Sarah Palin, and is obsessed with talking about her, and thinking about her, and wondering what she is doing, or saying, or thinking at … Continue reading →
The Czar has an idea for GorT. Take a current Time magazine story back to the year 1936, and let the editors of that era read and comment accordingly. Bet that will be entertaining. In case you did not know, … Continue reading →
From: UBN Information Officer (fighterz—–0101@att.net)To: Mr. Czar MuscovyDate: January 21, 2011Subject: Attn: Valued CustomerWe write to bring to yournotice about your pendingpayment of 5.5 Million USD. Your pendingpayment is now confirmed by the UN and authorized for immediatewire transfer to … Continue reading →
You may have heard that Frito-Lay’s is pulling a television ad from the Super Bowl that involved a Catholic priest administering Doritos in lieu of the Eucharist because, well, evidently Catholics get offended by the weirdest things. Imagine. Needless to … Continue reading →
If only ‘Puter smoked, this would be his place. As you head down Interstate 65 through Louisville, Kentucky, you pass by the tobacco shop owned by a real Mr. Cox. Yes, the photo is real: it does say Cox’s Smokers … Continue reading →
The Czar has been after this for a while, and so have you: Sheena Easton’s lyrics to “Morning train” in Danish. Get your pencils ready, because this great trip down memory lane probably will erase itself after only a couple … Continue reading →
Friends and readers (often mutually exclusive), the Mandarin and the Czar will be taking our show on the road this week, starting this evening. We will be on the road for most of next week, and probably not posting up … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: You are, once again and unsurprisingly, entirely correct. Dosage is everything. Just because we can measure something, does not mean we understand it. (Although it may be a start.) humbly, erc And Czar, An enjoyable read. I thought … Continue reading →
Dread and Awful Czar, Remember when you talked about Quantitative Easing? Well, the chickens have come home to roost. It appears that our friends in OPEC will not be lowering the price of oil just because we are not happy … Continue reading →
Can you imagine anything so horrible? A University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) study has found in a survey of 268 pregnant women that virtually 100% of them have dangerous, cancer-causing chemical in their blood and urine! OMG! Pregnant women, … Continue reading →
Jeez, really? The Czar feels like ‘Puter here: he has developed astigmatism from rolling his eyes at an E.J. Dionne, Jr. essay. Is it tragically under-researched? Is it intended to be a visceral reaction rather than a logical construct? Is … Continue reading →
Absolutely brilliant. Read Jennifer Rubin’s essay on What We Learned from the Tucson incident. It’s short, and every word scores. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
Oh mighty and fearsome Czar, As I listen to all the posturing by politicians in the aftermath of the Tucson tragedy about gun control it brings to mind the old saying “if you’re a carpenter the solution to every problem … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar regrets this post may have nothing new for you. Rather, it is just an update of a familiar stump speech of ours. Over the weekend, the mainstream media yammered on and on about how the Tucson shootings … Continue reading →
Southern Sudan, as you may know is voting this weekend to determine whether they will secede from Sudan, proper, and form their own country. Apparently, the Southern Sudanese people are quite joyful over this. But the Czar will remind them … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, Shouldn’t the title of this article be ‘PANIC WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEE’: I am confused. However, I am coherently grateful for all of the recent Gormogon posts. Keep up the good work! God Bless, JS, Operative and … Continue reading →
Dread and Awful Czar , Today was a weird day for Dr. J in that both a Facebook buddy and a colleague in the Ivory Tower both made snarky comments to Dr. J. regarding Mr. Cheney’s clockwork heart given that … Continue reading →
Well, the Gormogons decided to take a quick day trip (and thanks to GorT, that covers a couple weeks) and visit the Big Apple. Manhattan had quite a lot of snow, but nothing we are not very used to. In … Continue reading →
The Czar lived in a Marvel Comics household. In retrospect, it was a good call. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
Listen to a couple of union members talk when they think no one is listening, and they will bash and trash the union for what it is. Hypocrisy? Hardly—unions are generally manned by very nice, decent, hard-working folks who are … Continue reading →
This is not a complaint directed at the Google news services; rather, it serves as an example of something else that annoys the Czar. Here is the latest top Sci/Tech stories from Google news. It should be different every few … Continue reading →
MC writes in to suggest that perhaps the F-16 interceptors would have been scrambled from Andrews AFB, and not Bolling. That does seem more likely. The Czar is too weary at the moment to update the math. But great catch, … Continue reading →
And lo, the Czar hears that some white supremacist groups are protesting the upcoming Marvel movie Thor because, in the trailer, Norse gods are depicted as being multi-racial. What a stunning blow for Marvel, to lose the all-important opening weekend … Continue reading →
A very nice reader from Massachusetts writes in: This seems like something right up your alley: A poster promoting a Mongolian language class at an Australian university: As is expected from all your subjects, I read the blog daily, and … Continue reading →
A Piedmont Airlines DHC-8 flew into restricted airspace Saturday afternoon, prompting a full evacuation of the Capitol! Aircon Red! was declared! Fighters were scrambled! Occupants had two minutes to respond! Consider the Czar surprised. First, he did not know Piedmont … Continue reading →
The Big G wishes you, your friends, and your family a very happy and prosperous new year. We should start the day off right with a list of predictions for 2011. Anyone interested in betting against these? The President will … Continue reading →
The Volgi and the Czar will in the next couple of weeks have a lot more to say on the present and future of China, but let us take a moment to talk about another rising superpower that most of … Continue reading →
FotG Jonah Goldberg references the 50 Funniest Headlines of the Year. Any guess, would you say, on what percentage of these 50 were in fact our doing? No, higher. Higher still. Yep. You got it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею … Continue reading →
Via TJIC, thank you. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia … Continue reading →
The always entertaining Borepatch (and you really oughta read him daily) suggests the Czar should “turn his cold, dread eye towards, say, the Climate Science establishment.” Okay, sure. Now a lot of you are already rubbing your hands together gleefully, … Continue reading →
Well, can you believe it is almost 2011? The Czar is still writing 1453 on his checks. Anyway, we are getting behind on mail again. First up, Dr. J writes in on what we should be doing with the rise … Continue reading →
President Obama signs repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Air Force falcon mascot takes off at opening ceremony of Independence Bowl, does not return. And here the Czar thought the repeal would not obviously affect the military. The Czar of … Continue reading →
The Czar has spent a good portion of a snowy Christmas weekend watching the family play with a Kinect for XBox 360. Does it live up to the hype? Perhaps. It certainly is a different way to play a game. … Continue reading →
Well, forget WikiLeaks. The Czar has had it with all you people whispering these little movie spoiler secrets back and forth. All right, here goes. The Czar is now going to spill on all those little movie tidbits people have … Continue reading →
Gents (and ‘Puter), I wish you all a warm Merry Christmas* and a happy new year. Thanks for providing me with another year of insightful commentary, witty humor, and assorted buffoonery. XOXO, DT *yes, I realize that the Czar once … Continue reading →
Oh most eminent and outrageous one— Concerning quadratic equations and their relation to accelerating objects: the comment “Quadratic equations are necessary for an understanding of acceleration” should more accurately have read, “Quadratic equations are necessary for an understanding of the … Continue reading →
Hey, Czar. Nice bit on the metric system. I get why the metric guys go with zero for freezing, and 100 for boiling. But what’s up with Fahrenheit? If water freezes at 32, what happens at 0 degrees Fahrenheit? And … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: FHIW: Here’s the current satellite image of Nikumauroro. Long way from anywhere. Fresh water would have been the problem. No solar stills in those days, although the Mandarin probably already had one. / erc No doubt Volgi would … Continue reading →
News to us. He takes one little uptick in the polls, and suddenly a couple of news stories begin circulating that he is making a comeback. Ya know, Nixon used to do something. Whenever he felt his popularity was slipping … Continue reading →
Şɵ ʛøɾŤ שׂɾɨʈēʂ ʊק ʈħɨʂ ɳēשׂ קɨēçē øʄ ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ħē ɕăɭɭʂ ɤøɭğɨɳɨʑēɾ, שׂħɨçħ ʈɾăɳʂʄøɾɱʂ ўøʊɾ ʈēϰʈ ʈɵ ɭøøк ɭɨкē ʂøɱēʈħɨɳğ ʈħē ɤøɭğɨ ɱɨğħʈ ħăɤē שׂɾɨʈʈēɳ. Ťħē ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ɨʂ קɾēʈʈў ɳēăʈ; ʈħē ɕʑăɾ ɾăɳ ɨʈ ħēɾē, ăɳɖ ɨʈ ɭøøкʂ קɾēʈʈў ğøøɖ. … Continue reading →
Scientists at the University of Oklahoma are investigating whether bone fragments found on a deserted South Pacific island might in fact be those of Amelia Earhart. Heck, why bother investigating? The press has already decided they are, and that ought … Continue reading →
Sssh. Do not tell. The Czar has completed his Christmas shopping for the others. Fortunately, as you know, they do not actually read the Czar’s posts, so we can be quite safe here. For GorT, the Czar got him one … Continue reading →
ERC responds to DT’s letter about California. Your link to Dr. Hanson’s article was a real downer. I’m a second generation Californian in my mid sixties. “I’ve seen California destroyed by Progress.“ I’m one of those 20-to-100-acre orchardists: used to … Continue reading →
Hey, the Gormogons are very happy you are here visiting with us today. You all come here literally by the thousands. And many of you probably wonder how real the emails are that we get (see numerous examples below). Actually, … Continue reading →
Almighty Czar, With regard to Net Neutrality, I was with you up until the paragraph starting, “The solution is butt-dumblingly simple.” You may have missed the memo, but in order to coin a new phrase (ingenious as that one may … Continue reading →
We have not discussed “net neutrality” here much. If you are a conservative, you know from conservative pundits that you are supposed to hate this. If you are a liberal, your liberal overlords have stipulated you must embrace this. Okay, … Continue reading →
Examples of how California is royally screwed are many. Look at Victor David Hanson’s survey of the central valley, ponder the idiocy of a state-paid food nazi suing McDonalds for her own poor parenting, or just ponder the unionized financial … Continue reading →
If only, the Czar has been thinking, not once but twice. And so, like every year, atheist groups are kvetching that municipalities are spending tax dollars purchasing, erecting, and maintaining Nativity scenes. Frankly, in a time when every collected tax … Continue reading →
So a lot of sites have these discussion topic diagrams, in which some software analyzes your writing and draws up a diagram based on word frequency and topic count. The Mandarin, who has been working feverishly on an alternative to … Continue reading →
Well, we have another Dr. J running amok at the Castle. This time, we have Dr. KNJ writing in with a massively helpful idea: O Most Dread and Awful, etc., etc. I most humbly suggest an approach to the MPG … Continue reading →
So Mitt Romney—who probably does not quite meet any Tea Partier’s expectations of a fiscal conservative—says he would vote No on the Obama-McConnell tax deal. That’s fine, because he is unable to vote on it either way. Romney, in a … Continue reading →
The Czar is a big fan of the metric system, and thinks everyone should use it. Yes, even Americans. Sigh. Yes, even you. If you hate the metric system, the Czar knows why: because you are old enough to remember … Continue reading →
CBS News Poll reveals most Americans hate the GOP plan to extend tax cuts to wealthy. Gallup Poll reveals most Americans hate the GOP plan to extend tax cuts to wealthy. Bloomberg National Poll reveals most Americans hate the GOP … Continue reading →
Very nice essay from Borepatch regarding the European rioting that has, sadly, come to England. More particularly, he advocates why America must watch this carefully. After all, the formula is simple: liberal progressivism divided by anarchy = fascism, eventually. Each … Continue reading →
Dear Czarina of Eastern Ukraine, I really liked your post about ‘Why Liberals Fight.’ I think you’re spot on in your analysis of the liberal base- divided. I think this was most evident at the last Democratic National Convention, and … Continue reading →
Dread & Awful Czar, Dr. J., as you know, has been following Washington’s tax dilemma with baited breath here, here and most notably, here. President Obama presented his so-called compromise with the congressional Republicans to the wailing and gnashing of … Continue reading →
You know, for a guy who eats Jell-O with his bare hands and wanders naked a little too often around the public areas of the Castle for it to be an accident, ‘Puter is an impressively smart guy. His smackdown … Continue reading →
Three quick scientific updates. Remember the Czar going on about being careful with a claim about what the universe was like prior to the Big Bang? Fortunately, even the legendary Dr. Penrose is not above being lectured to. Evidently, other … Continue reading →
The Japanese space agency (JAXA) suffered a sudden loss of communications with its Akatsuki probe, recently arrived in orbit around Venus. An unexpected and unexplained blackout occurred for about 22 minutes, during which time they lost total contact with the … Continue reading →
Well, if we’re doing obits to the great Don Meredith, then we’re sure as hell doing an obit for Ron Santo. Ron was a guy that not only symbolized Chicago, but also the Cubs: no matter how bad things got, … Continue reading →
Well, there are a few things that history ought to remember about 2010. 2010 was the year that racism officially died. Yeah, in the sense that anytime someone is called a racist, now, everybody laughs because we all know he … Continue reading →
Well, you can always count on EC to read one of our essays, no matter how long or tangental it gets. And he always writes in substantively: Your Czarness: Your thoughts on gays in the military are, naturally, profound and … Continue reading →
The Czar has not picked up on the subject of gays in the military, so we should probably say something about it. Here it is: there are gays in the military. They are already there. But what a weird thing … Continue reading →
