Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.
Here’s our politicians’ dirty little secret. Washington knows what’s wrong with the economy, and they know how to fix it. “Great! Then why won’t Washington fix it, ‘Puter?,” you reply. It’s a good question, with a simply answer: the fix … Continue reading →
‘Puter, in perusal of his usual virtual haunts, came across this wonderful Washington Post blog entry, as penned by James Downie. Mr. Downie, it seems, has a fundamental misunderstanding of our First Amendment, a misunderstanding that ‘Puter has seen repeated … Continue reading →
‘Puter read with interest this Eugene Robinson opinion piece in this morning’s Washington Post. Mr. Robinson identifies what he perceives to be the Republicans’ failing: they don’t have a convincing narrative about the economy. Mr. Robinson then spends the remainder … Continue reading →
One of ‘Puter’s two representatives in the United States Senate decided that department stores’ reintroduction of layaway is a threat requiring immediate federal action. Since ‘Puter knows that Senator Kirsten E. R. Gillibrand (D-NY) is too busy hiding in the … Continue reading →
As our readers know, ain’t none of your Gormogons all too pleased with the composition of the Republican presidential candidate pool, least of all ‘Puter. But, like it or not, it’s appearing more and more likely to ‘Puter that Romney’s … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to take Czar up on his suggestion and address the similarities and differences between the Penn State child rape scandal and the Roman Catholic Church child rape scandal. First, the similarities. 1. Powerful men entrusted with the welfare … Continue reading →
Nobel laureate Paul Krugman, who also happens to be a New York Times columnist and shrill Democratic Party shill (but then ‘Puter repeats himself), parrots the White House and Occupy Wall Street talking point cum dogma: Income inequality is the … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been having a difficult time hearing himself think, what with all the Left’s whining about income inequality. This morning, on his pre-dawn walk, ‘Puter had some time to think about why income inequality exists, and what, if anything, can … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s eldest son is receiving the sacrament of confirmation this year. Mrs. ‘Puter collared ‘Puter last night after work to discuss the aforementioned impending event. During this conversation, ‘Puter learned he was being charged a $25.00 fee for the sacrament, … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since ‘Puter’s taken time out to write concerning his rather boring life, rather than his over-the-top convictions, so here’s a status update for you. 1. ‘Puter’s off the Strattera for his ADHD. The medication had, for … Continue reading →
Holy cow, Eugene Robinson’s uninformed, ignorant screed in today’s Washington Post has got ‘Puter hotter than a fat guy in a sauna. Mr. Robinson is so gravely wrong on so many items, but ‘Puter’s going to limit himself to a … Continue reading →
‘Puter was talking politics with a woman in his office yesterday. ‘Puter can get away with that because he’s upper management. At least, that’s what ‘Puter tells himself in his Walter Mitty-esque fantasy life. This woman is that rarest of … Continue reading →
Welcome to another Gormogon-a-riffic installment of You Make The Call. According to Wikipedia, which, when dealing with know-nothing OWS chuckle-heads is an acceptable reference source, the filthy hippies illegally encamped in Zuccotti Park in Middle Ages squalor seem to hold … Continue reading →
In today’s Washington Post, columnist Eugene Robinson attempts to discredit those of us who are skeptical of the Left’s religiously raputrous embrace of The Holy Mother Church of Anthropogenic Global Warming. In his weak attempt, Mr. Robinson manages to increase … Continue reading →
'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →
Oh, E.J. Dionne! Your columns are a balm for ‘Puter’s weary soul. Whenever ‘Puter needs a break from dissecting a thoughtful liberal position, along you come with a poorly reasoned and inaccurate howler, enabling ‘Puter to sit back and let … Continue reading →
While adjusting to his ADHD medication (Strattera, for those of you keeping score at home), ‘Puter came across this Eugene Robinson column in the Washington Post. Mr. Robinson claims the Democrats should harness the “economic justice” concerns allegedly at the … Continue reading →
First, if you haven’t read Charles Krauthammer’s incisive take down of the Occupy Wall Street boneheads, read it. Read it right now. Second, if you can stomach it, read Paul Krugman’s completely un-self-aware exegesis on “how the Republicans are wrong … Continue reading →
… Of The People In Your Graduating Class You Were Reasonably Certain Were Not Going To Amount To Much Because Of Our Delusional Beliefs. ‘Puter moseyed on over to the Occupy Wall Street “We Are the 99 Percent” website today, … Continue reading →
‘Puter promised a wrapup to his thoughts on Maureen Dowd’s cowardly, execrable column on Roman Catholicism in the public square, and here it is. Ms. Dowd is no different than many of ‘Puter’s so-called Catholic friends. Many of ‘Puter’s friends … Continue reading →
Operative JT sends in proof of the Gormogons’s insidious plan to slowly assimilate your dessert foodstuffs. See how the remaining cupcakes cower in fear from the onslaught of our avatar, Hello Kitty! There is no place, in any dimension or … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to get introspective, and perhaps a bit self-pitying, so bear with him for a few minutes. Longtime readers of your Gormogons know ‘Puter’s got a relatively conventional medical history for a man of his age. He’s got a … Continue reading →
In the first part of our serial drama, we learned that Ms. Dowd can’t complete a thought. Let’s see where the second part of our analysis of this column leads, shall we? Now we get to the meat of Ms. … Continue reading →
Or Ms. Dowd fails to understand basic tenets of the Roman Catholic faith she claims to follow. Most likely, Ms. Dowd is both ignorant and malicious. Ms. Dowd’s columns are always a target-rich environment. However, this one is exceptional for … Continue reading →
We are each familiar with Martin Niemoller’s famous quote (even though he likely never said those actual words), so there’s no need to reprint it here. Niemoller’s quote came to ‘Puter’s feeble mind as he mulled over the Democrats’ latest … Continue reading →
E.J. Dionne’s column in today’s Washington Post complains that the Right unfairly harangues Warren Buffet for his advocacy of higher tax rates on the rich. Mr. Dionne’s descent into Leftie, partisan nonsense is distilled into these few, precious lines: Wealthy … Continue reading →
‘Puter was very pleased to receive several thoughtful missives regarding his posting on special ed’s negative impact on general ed. Both correspondents herein are, as you will see, parents of special ed students. ‘Puter was happy to discover much common … Continue reading →
Here’s an anecdote in support of ‘Puter’s confrontational statement. ‘Puter knows that the plural of anecdote is not data, but it seems that for some reason, the education establishment doesn’t want to collect data on the phenomenon described below. ‘Puter, … Continue reading →
Today marks the first anniversary of ‘Puter’s L4-L5 microdiscetomy. ‘Puter would like to take a moment from his usual ranty snark to give sincere thanks for the skill of his surgeon and his entire medical team. ‘Puter would also like … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s company is located in a suburban office park, comprised of around 10 separate office buildings. In many ways, ‘Puter’s office complex is unremarkable, similar to those found anywhere in America’s sprawling suburbs. There is one important difference, however. There … Continue reading →
And then the editors go and muck up a decent argument with a fundamental misunderstanding of separation of powers, fueled by a mistaken and discredited liberal world view. The New York Times’ editors make a perfectly valid argument that application … Continue reading →
In the course of his daily reading, ‘Puter came across the following article noting Europe’s economy (and if there is a just God, the EU as well) is circling the bowl. More apt, Europe’s economy is halfway down the u-bend. … Continue reading →
Focus on E.J. Dionne’s column today. Mr. Dionne writes concerning Obama’s Magic Technicolor Domestic Automaker Bailout and Secured Bondholder Screw-a-thon. There’s just so very many things wrong with this column, ‘Puter’s having a hard time picking a place to start. … Continue reading →
This steaming pile of horseshit quote from Elizabeth Warren has been making the rounds among ‘Puter’s liberal friends. The crappy link to MoveOn won’t allow a cut and paste, so ‘Puter will type it for you here: There is nobody … Continue reading →
The NYSTRS is the New York State Teachers’ Retirement System. A strong claim, ‘Puter knows. But here’s the facts, based on one Upstate school district. New York’s Education Law §501(19) defines “service” as “actual teaching or supervision by the teacher … Continue reading →
Harold Meyerson, an avowed socialist, writes an opinion piece in today’s Washington Post that is, well, so obviously erroneous it never should have gotten past the editors. Mr. Meyerson claims that Republicans are engaged in underhanded shenanigans to steal the … Continue reading →
The New York Times‘ editorial board predicitably calls for “fairness” in application of the tax code. To the NYT’s editors, this means that “the rich,” (i.e., everyone making over some undisclosed income threshold) must pay more in federal taxes. ‘Puter … Continue reading →
Man, our readers/operatives/minions are a sharp bunch. ‘Puter posts one missive on gay marriage and gets: (1) a twitter argument on the appropriateness of using two ostensibly gay gentlemen clad in matching tux g-strings as a visual; and (2) an … Continue reading →
‘Puter notes that the Gormogons have recently picked up numerous gay followers (as disclosed in their Twitter handles) over to the Twitter thingy Czar signed us up for. ‘Puter chalks this surge in the Gormogons’ popularity in the gay community … Continue reading →
Being a Washington Post opinion columnist must be a dream job if you’re a liberal. Simply wait by your email inbox until the White House sends out the day’s approved talking points, then simply move them around a bit, and … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s just about had it with so-called educators. ‘Puter has watched as nearly everything that worked in public education has been jettisoned for fads. No fad, in ‘Puter’s humble opinion, has had a larger negative impact on public education than … Continue reading →
‘Puter knows he’s going to get pilloried, but he’s going to say it again. Ron Paul is bat-shit crazy. One cannot hold the positions Ron Paul does and be seriously considered to lead our country. ‘Puter freely admits that he … Continue reading →
Our suburban Rochester parish lost a great man last week, so ‘Puter thought he’d say a few words in this space about the loss of a man whose impact on our world will never be fully measured or understood. If … Continue reading →
The New York Times editorial board remains steadfastly determined to bar reality from ruining its thoroughly discredited world view. In this editorial, the NYT’s editors blame racism for favored minorities defaulting on their home mortgages. The editors allege that minorities … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s just synopsizing Katrina vanden Heuvel’s ridiculously awful diatribe in this morning’s Washington Post. Feel free to peruse the hard left’s 2012 game plan here. ‘Puter doesn’t know how many times he’s going to have to deconstruct the left’s preferred … Continue reading →
Specifically, the intellectually impoverished, such as the elites holding forth from their perch on the New York Times’ editorial staff. Our noble and wise betters today put forth this nugget of wisdom, in the form of an editorial. You see, … Continue reading →
And by “it,” ‘Puter means he left two letters off the front of the word he wanted to type. Mr. Milbank in this posting criticizing the Tea Party engages in the White House’s two favorite argument styles: straw men and … Continue reading →
It appears increasingly likely that ‘Puter and Volgi’s homeland (and GorT’s current residence) is going to be taking a whuppin’ from Hurricane Irene this weekend. Based on DC’s performance during Earthquake-A-Palooza 2011, ‘Puter figured his peeps in the Greater DC … Continue reading →
Is it morally wrong to pray for Hurricane Irene to have wreaked utter devastation on Puerto Rico’s housing stock so your company can collect on insurance policies and not be hassled with actually selling the collateral? ‘Puter also hypothetically prayed … Continue reading →
Here’s an interesting little column from The Washington Post’s Michael Gerson. Mr. Gerson writes to show how willing liberal elites, particularly those in media, are to paint anyone religious as a crackpot bent on imposing Christian theocracy on America. What … Continue reading →
Nope, not to trek the Scottish Highlands, a la Brigadoon, but for his annual pilgrimage to the greater Delmarva Peninsula. Blogging may be lighter than usual, or it may be heavier than usual, or it may be usual than usual. … Continue reading →
‘Puter has been up to his elbows in alligators at work of late, so posting has been light from him. What? Of course your Gormogons have side jobs. How else are we supposed to pay our bar tabs and keep … Continue reading →
The current recession is nothing compared to the one preordained by our continued debt-funded budgets. Think about it. What’s the primary cause of our continued Carteresque malaise? Consumer and business deleveraging, resulting from the bursting of an economic bubble. That … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been up to his ears in work, which, in this economy, is a wonderful fix in which to find one’s self. Today, amidst the current office insanity, ‘Puter received from outside counsel a pro se defendant’s pleadings. Pro se … Continue reading →
In the Boston Globe, we see yet another example of poor reporting, covering only one side of the story. You know, the side that supports the reporter’s favored policy outcomes. Ms. Kay Lazar writes about the growing number of underweight … Continue reading →
If you read only one piece on the hand-in-glove relationship between the debt ceiling crisis and out of control social program spending, let it be this editorial in today’s Wall Street Journal. Quoth the sages of Wall Street: According to … Continue reading →
Unlikely as it seems, these words were spoken by Adam Urbanski, Rochester Teachers Association (union) president, in the context of difficult contract negotiations. It was an acknowledgment that a union cannot be so greedy that its employer can no longer … Continue reading →
‘Puter tells his sons, aged 13 and (almost) 10, that they have four options when they graduate high school. 1. State school2. Scholarship3. Marine Corps4. Priesthood Other than that, they are on their own. ‘Puter and Mrs. ‘Puter will have … Continue reading →
In today’s gripping installment of “How Do These Guys Even Have Jobs Anymore?”, the New York Times editorial board appeals to its readers’ faith. To be certain, not faith in God, because that’s for uneducated, gun-owning hicks. Rather, the NYT … Continue reading →
The New York Times has a house editorial today excoriating Republicans for signing on to pledges, such as Grover Norquist’s anti-tax pledge and the Susan B. Anthony list’s pro-life pledge. The NYT also lists two pledges ‘Puter has never heard … Continue reading →
David Brooks must be reading your Gormogons, as is the rest of the New York Times’ assemblage of editors and columnists. Everyone who is anyone reads your Gormogons for our trenchant analysis, Hello Kitty news and juvenile put-downs of one … Continue reading →
‘Puter received the following missive from much-loved operative JAB, from the doublewide. You know the one. It’s on the Mississippi flood plain, on the stupid side of the levees. Anyhoo, JAB writes in to further discuss ‘Puter post on mortality … Continue reading →
‘Puter doesn’t know what debt ceiling debate Eugene Robinson is writing about in today’s Washington Post, but it’s sure as heck not the one going on in Washington. Mr. Robinson’s premise is that Republicans are solely to blame for the … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been reading much about the debt ceiling debate over the past weeks. ‘Puter has come to the following conclusions. 1. The debt ceiling will be increased. It will be increased because it must be increased. And it must be … Continue reading →
‘Puter lives in Upstate New York. His school district is maybe 40 or so square miles in size. It follows, essentially, the borders of a medium sized suburban township. The school district has one high school, one ninth grade building … Continue reading →
The New York Times today published a house editorial praising the Environmental Protection Agency for crippling American competitiveness. That’s not actually what the writers said, but the effect of their words are indistinguishable. The EPA issued a regulation requiring power … Continue reading →
E.J. Dionne creates more jobs weekly than the entire Obama Administration has done over the past three years, simply as a result of how colossally wrong he is on every topic he takes up. This week, Mr. Dionne writes on … Continue reading →
‘Puter was reading this post concerning Medicaid availability and its impact on health outcomes over at Megan McArdle’s place at The Atlantic. The takeaway is that there is no correlation one way or the other between availabilty of health insurance … Continue reading →
The Washington Post carries a story this morning about Texas’ execution of a Mexican citizen convicted of a brutal rape and murder of a 14 year old girl. The Post goes on and on about the United States violating its … Continue reading →
Democrats are the drunks of the debt ceiling debate. Republicans are the friends trying to take away the keys to their car. Democrats: “C’mon, man!! You used to be so cool, like in college when we’d play beer pong then … Continue reading →
‘Puter works for a small company that trades in sub and nonperforming middle market commercial debt. As part of the workout process for these loans, ‘Puter’s employer may initiate foreclosure actions on collateral real property. ‘Puter recently received an invoice … Continue reading →
Regarding ‘Puter’s post on ObamaCare and Eugenics, Operative JAB writes in from the double-wide from an undisclosed location. I would argue that this coercive nature of Obamacare is nothing new at all. It is perfectly consistent with the government’s actions … Continue reading →
‘Puter received some feedback on his intemperate rant of yesterday afternoon. Operative DT writes in: Oh… my…. God. ‘Puter, once again you’ve written a work of art. Damn. New minion NB states his opinion thus: I almost never write to … Continue reading →
‘Puter read this New York Times editorial regarding the Minnesota state government shut down and finally lost his ever-loving mind. ‘Puter will quote liberally and at length. Like Republicans in Washington, they have the delusion that they can balance the … Continue reading →
Katrina vanden Heuvel writing in today’s Washington Post manages a flame-out so epic it surpasses even E.J. Dionne at his best/worst. After the obligatory liberal mantra of “Republicans are negotiating in bad faith by not giving Democrats exactly what they … Continue reading →
‘Puter posted a while back on Huy Fong Vietnamese Chili Garlic Sauce. He extolled it myriad virtues and recommended all minions purchase copious amounts of said condiment immediately. Being a good minion, Island Dweller indeed went and purchased a supply … Continue reading →
‘Puter had a little time to reflect this morning during his 5:00 AM walk. He got to thinking about ObamaCare, and the government’s claim that it has the power to require Americans to buy insurance because their inactivity affects commerce. … Continue reading →
Richard Cohen pens a singularly un-self aware column in today’s Washington Post. Mr. Cohen’s central premise is Republicans are a cult. Republicans are a cult because they have “replace[d] reason with feverish belief.” Mr. Cohen then goes on to list … Continue reading →
The Supreme Court is chock full of conservative bias, resulting in all non-rich Americans being thrown to the wolves. At least that’s ‘Puter’s takeaway from this morning’s poorly reasoned and factually challenged editorial. ‘Puter took note that liberals have recently … Continue reading →
Today E.J. Dionne takes to the pages of The Washington Post to display his utter ignorance of, or contempt for, our form of government. More particularly, our judiciary. Unlike in past installments of ‘Puter’s continuing series of “Mr. Dionne is … Continue reading →
Not content to share his obviously superior analytical skills with us a mere twice each week, E.J. Dionne has resorted to blogging within the Washington Post’s website. Mr. Dionne, concerning today’s presidential press conference, opines thus: At his news conference … Continue reading →
‘Puter has a tough time figuring out whether the New York Times editorial board is comprised of fools or liars. Today’s editorial on the debt ceiling impasse does nothing to help ‘Puter come to an answer. 1. ” … Republican … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s family lost a wonderful member today. ‘Puter’s brother-in-law’s mother (“Mrs. S”) succumbed to the effects of acute myeloid leukemia early this morning. Mrs. S discovered she had AML last year, just after ‘Puter’s grandmother’s funeral. Mrs. S received wonderful … Continue reading →
Hell, if that overbearing, over exposed, overweight harridan Oprah can have favorite things, so can ‘Puter. ‘Puter’s at least as pudgy as the Big O. As the now-voiceless Julie Andrews once sang, “these are a few of [‘Puter’s] favorite things. … Continue reading →
The New York Times poison penned an editorial blasting Republicans for failure to compromise (read: cave) on the debt ceiling. Now ‘Puter’s a simple man-child, and he understands that editorials are by their nature opinion. But that’s no excuse to … Continue reading →
In today’s New York Times, Maureen Dowd criticizes Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for not pressing Saudi Arabia harder on women’s rights. As in most of her recent work, Ms. Dowd ignores or brushes aside inconvenient facts. Let’s take it … Continue reading →
CNN writes today about the difficulty caused by Afghanistan’s reliance on opium as a cash crop. Afghani opium production isn’t a problem for the United States, it’s an opportunity. Here’s how. The Taliban runs on opium profits, extorted from local … Continue reading →
‘Puter works in the financial services industry, for a small, privately held company that owns and manages portfolios of sub and nonperforming commercial debt. And so the veil is pulled back. ‘Puter’s company recently advertised for an assistant position and … Continue reading →
Someone at the Washington Post left the airplane glue out and a computer logged on this weekend, resulting in E.J. Dionne’s latest opinion piece. Mr. Dionne believes that laws tightening up on voting procedures are TEH RASIST!!1! Mr. Dionne believes … Continue reading →
The delightful, not-at-all-harpyish Maureen Dowd truly outdid herself in the this Sunday’s New York Times. Ms. Dowd penned this fine opinion piece, laying into Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York for daring to defend Church teaching and stand against gay … Continue reading →
‘Puter rarely defends government officials, particularly when they are bent on defending ill-conceived and burdensome regulations that ensnare kids and charities. So ‘Puter was a bit surprised to find himself on Montgomery County’s (MD) side in its decision to fine … Continue reading →
E.J. Dionne creates so many strawmen to bash, it makes ‘Puter think of Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. At least Scarecrow had the common sense to know he didn’t have a brain and to act accordingly. Mr. Dionne, not … Continue reading →
‘Puter spends a lot of time around here bashing teachers’ unions because, well, teachers’ unions so richly deserve bashing. Teachers’ unions exist solely to enrich their members at the expense of taxpayers and children, all the while claiming to champion … Continue reading →
One is E.J. Dionne, the other is a hole in the ground. How can one not hate all over E.J. Dionne and his opinion piece in today’s Washington Post? In his column, Mr. Dionne makes the following spoken and/or unspoken … Continue reading →
Dr. J, Royal Surgeon, took ‘Puter up on his offer to respond to ‘Puter’s post regarding grandma killing. Without further ado, here’s Dr. J: Erudite Puter, the Philosopher-King of the Gormogons: I have read with fascination your missive, along with … Continue reading →
So, Rep. Weiner (D-NY) tweets his junk to women who may or may not have reached the age of majority, and he’s still a sitting United States Congressman. Meanwhile, poor Steel Valley (Pennsyltucky) school teacher Jennifer Smith (pictured, right) merely … Continue reading →
Let ‘Puter start with his conclusion. Either the New York Times has no editors, or the editorial board has smoked so much dope that its collective short term memory is entirely shot. In today’s editorial, the New York Times comes … Continue reading →
Your family or the government? At least, that was ‘Puter’s takeaway after reading this Megan McArdle piece over at The Atlantic. Ms. McArdle looks at the significant problems New York has with state run facilities for the elderly and the … Continue reading →
‘Puter was watching the Sunday morning news shows this weekend, and Morning Joe this morning. During the course of watching the pundits, left and right, ‘Puter had a revelation. The party that manages to appear less condescending to independents will … Continue reading →
