Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.
Gormogon favorite Rachel Weisz. She’s gonna be in some new Jackie O biopic or other. So there’s your news hook. Let’s all enjoy this picture, shall we? Shh. Shh. She’s pretty like a princess. You’re welcome. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask … Continue reading →
Word cloud of today’s front page from Tagxedo, via Borepatch. Some crazy stuff going on in there. “Die Ghettoputer?” Either that’s a really weird German feminine noun, or he’s sending himself death threats again… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
So, you’re going to be infiltrated by agents provocateurs of the Left. Let me suggest one strategy that might be effective. If anyone starts up with some sort of bigoted crap, kick his ass. You can’t be too careful. (Or … Continue reading →
You know you want to read this: Segways used for sniper target practice Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Well, the Gormogons’ March Madness is over, and while it wasn’t the extravaganza of last years (you do the math, smart guys), we are proud to declare the winner is Hello Kitty, whose insanity-inducing blank stare drove Jenny McCarthy into … Continue reading →
Happy Easter from the Gormogons. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Well, we’re almost down to our Final Four. Thanks to everyone who voted in the last poll. The runaway winner, with 45% of the vote was Bart Stupak, who was duly fed to Nosferatu and had both his faces and … Continue reading →
Norman Podhoretz does a nice job of contextualizing Sarah Palin and the backlash against her in certain quarters of conservatism, even citing Gormogon favorite T. Coddington van Voorhees VII. Pod the Elder comes with a position similar to many of … Continue reading →
I’ll be damned. ’Puter was right. Mandy was working on fembots. Well, congratulations to him on the roll-out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Confucius apologizes for getting behind on the mail. We’ve got a few correspondents’ with public comments that your Œc. Vol. hasn’t gotten to. Vaminos, muchachos. “Charlie Foxtrot” sends in a link to Paul Ryan’s great graphics on the unaffordability of … Continue reading →
Confucius* says, I don’t want to blow your mind, cats and kittens, but you know the story the Czar is commenting on, where some liberal Democrats walked through a crowd of Tea Partiers and came out claiming they’d been spat … Continue reading →
As we’ve mentioned, treacherous Frenchman (do we repeat ourself?) and Gormogon buddy, Luc Besson, took a bunch of “home movies” around Castle Gormogon and is now using them in his new movie, La Femme Indiana Jones or something. Here’s the … Continue reading →
One always hesitates to disagree with the Czar, but the fact is while Jews vote the way they want, they overwhelmingly want to vote for Democrats. Jews have voted in overwhelming numbers for the Democratic candidate since the Progressive Era … Continue reading →
You think anyone explained to this broad what that cute little rainbow flag means? Update: Weathered Publius writes in: think the sign is meant to be ironic – IE. without the machine invented by a homosexual we would’ve lost WWII. … Continue reading →
And now for something completely different. She’s full of secrets. The owls are not what they seem. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Farewell, Mitt. As they cast the 216th vote last night, Nancy Pelosi and her minions also smashed Mitt Romney’s presidential ambitions. There is literally no substantial difference between Obamacare and Romneycare. The fundamentals are exactly the same: an individual mandate … Continue reading →
Buy it here. Via Li Bai. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Ghetto P invokes Marta the Orion Slave Girl* romanced by Ki-Rok. Didja know she was played by classically-trained ballerina. Yvonne Craig, a/k/a… Batgirl? She and the Volgi dated in the mid-’60s. I’m just sayin’. *You know the famous story about … Continue reading →
Gormogons Twitter follower S.E. Cupp is dead-on in her diary (in which she reveals her academic past as the curatrix of a The Greater Connecticut NKOTB Museum): I read Kathryn Lopez’s account of the chaos among Catholics on health care … Continue reading →
Which one normally wouldn’t give a damn about, since the Gormogons have admired a lot of Randi’s work over the years, but a lot like Albert Kinsey’s “proving” (by massive statistical manipulation and outright lying) that his own carefully hidden … Continue reading →
Wow, big weekend, huh? Putin won by forfeit after Rahm Emanuel died unexpectedly of a hideous, fast-acting cancer from acute α-radiation effects of some 210Po which made its way into his PowerBar. President Obama has submitted the Rahm F.N. Emanuel … Continue reading →
Thanks for all the feedback by e-mail. Enjoy. The first-round results are in. In case you missed it, Vladimir Putin had Barney Frank shot on the front walk outside his house, and Rahm Emanuel pliéd his foot into Ban Ki-Mun’s … Continue reading →
Says this fair colleen. You may have heard something along those lines in these parts before. Update: Kathy Shaidle, the female Ghettoputer agrees. How did the Irish do it? Like this. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass … Continue reading →
Not much. Enjoy your “free” medicine, kids, provided by the graduates of the finest medical schools of Guatemala, Uganda, Bangladesh, and Albania. You get what you pay for. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Lânetlilerin Türk türküsü. The Pogues. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Back by popular demand, it’s the Gormogons’ Ides of March Memorial Slaughterrama. Twenty men (women, cartoon characters, whatever) enter, one leaves! This year, you’ll be able to help us out in resurrecting two teams from the slagheap to keep the … Continue reading →
Because, seriously, Czar, I know you told that guy to stay away from your wife, but now he’s taunting you from Newsweek covers. Can’t see him? Hover your mouse over the picture for a clue. Via larwyn via e-mail. Confucius, … Continue reading →
Scripsit Царь наш: For your right-wing bias, HuffPo is lauding the serious investigative journalism of the Times for exposing how this is a clear conflict of interest for Justice Thomas, and suggests that the whole point of the recent decision … Continue reading →
Scripsit ’Puter: Each successive Kennedy was worse than the one he survived, and each successive Kennedy generation was worse than the preceding generation. Depends when you start counting, I’d say. If you start with Joe Jr., JFK, Rosemary, Kathleen, Eunice, … Continue reading →
Operative DT whinges: Oh Wise Volgi, Whose Wisdom Knows No End (and, might I add, is really “rocking the 啤酒 Gut”: As a mere operative, I could not hope to provide a suggestion to one as mighty as yourself. However, … Continue reading →
What are you, nuts? Conservative author, commentatrix, and—respectfully—smokin’ hottie S.E. Cupp has come aboard the S.S. Gormogon Twitter feed. Sure, knowing us, it’ll hit an iceberg soon enough, but come on board, enjoy the ride! And don’t worry, the band … Continue reading →
The good doctor returns to the Bizarro World of Tom Toles again this week, emerging with his sanity mostly intact. Confucius has edited this slightly for space. There are now four kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics, and now, … Continue reading →
Dr. J, in a letter your Volgi’s been remiss in posting, waxes a bit despondent about the looming threat of Obamacare. The bulk of his missive concerned the Slaughter Stratagem, ginned up by ’Puter’s neighbor, Weezy. Since that seems to … Continue reading →
So, yeah, we know Luc Besson. “Pleaze, Messieurs les Gormogôgnes, let me just take a few of ze pictures around ze Château Gormogônne. Eet ees zhust for mon ome meuvies.” More the fool us, we say “ok.” Well, not all … Continue reading →
Царь пишет: We again must point out that todays mainstream media is probably the least skeptical, most easily fooled, and least educated group that it has ever been. The Volgi is going to have to take issue with the last … Continue reading →
Remember that awesome Rube Goldberg video from OK Go? Here’s a little insight as to how it was done. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Hey, folks, if you’re not following the Gormogons’ Twitter feed, you should be. Not only Journalist Goldberg and American Ninja Stephen F. Hayes follow us, but so does Col. John Casey (d/b/a ‘Adam Baldwin’). Not cool enough? Ok, well, we’re … Continue reading →
OK Go, the madmen with the awesome treadmill video, have come out with a masterpiece that appears to have been filmed in GorT’s dad’s basement after a holiday weekend. And, yes, this is an actual machine. I’m not exactly sure … Continue reading →
Of course, the Volgi’s favorite part is at 03:30. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →More comix ’n’ commentary from Dr. J, bidding fair to become the Gormogons’ comics’ page editor. He and the Czar are a dagger points—literally, Doc’s got some sort of Bowie knife and the Czar’s got some bizarro Circassian kinjal and … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Washington refused to endorse British claims to sovereignty over the Falkland Islands yesterday as the diplomatic row over oil drilling in the South Atlantic intensified in London, Buenos Aires and at the UN. Despite Britain’s close alliance with the US, … Continue reading →
Hmm. This doesn’t appear to be resizing right. Watch full screen or at the original site, if that’s the case on your screen. Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
(Britain is a bit like Greece except with the Elgin Marbles) quoth Stuttaford. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Well, this is one of the stranger things you’ll see all day. It’s not work-safe, strictly speaking, due to a couple naked cartoon pinups. Love the song, though. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Remember folks, for every guy in a Disney suit, there’s a sweaty, stifling, stifled drama student. Great singing, but man, modern musicals must be dreadful if these are show-stoppers. Via James Lileks’s Twitter feed. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
…don’t compare to those you can do when stuck in the Pittsburgh airport overnight during a Snowpocalypse. Marvelous. Whoever this girl is, we love you. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Dr. J, who keeps his stethoscope in his ABA-era afro, writes in with an excellent point of how political polemic corrodes the mind, to the point where black is white and down is up. I have been historically amused by … Continue reading →
No justice, no peace! Free what’s-her-name! Racist jocks made her do it! DURHAM, N.C. — Durham police late Wednesday arrested the woman who four years ago falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of raping her.Crystal Mangum assaulted her boyfriend, … Continue reading →
On the other hand, as we’re all parents (a couple even of daughters), one suspects the Gormogons are emotively, if not perhaps legally, in this guy’s corner: “I shot him in the nuts with bird-shot because he was beating my … Continue reading →
So, the good folks over at Air Power Australia have put out maybe the most comprehensive open-source study of the PAK-FA, and whaddya know, it looks to be a hell of a plane. In fact, it’s so good that if … Continue reading →
Front-row seat! In free! No pay! Doc writes: The recent spate of retirement announcements (Bayh) and rumors (Mikulski) has gotten me thinking that Congress will pass the Senate bill and then tweak it via reconciliation during the lame-duck session when … Continue reading →
Read the whole thing, it’d have to be scissored into a couple dozen bits to get all the good stuff. Here’s the beginning. The first meeting of the loftily named U.S.-Russia Bilateral Presidential Commission’s Civil Society Working Group took place … Continue reading →
The parallelism, excellent! We’ll pull out of Iraq, soon and responsibly (is there any other way?); also, we’ll close our eyes and click our heels together three times and wish upon a star over and over again until Israelis and … Continue reading →
Oh yeah. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Cross your fingers, folks. Update: Interesting live blog from Planet Iran here. Some excerpts already: * * 9:00 a.m. : The north western city of Tabriz is already in turmoil. People have attacked the P.A. systems and loudspeakers and broken … Continue reading →
Read the whole thing. A democratic revolution in Tehran could well prove the most momentous Mideastern event since the fall of the Ottoman Empire. A politically freer Iran would bring front and center the great Islamic debate of our times: … Continue reading →
Gormogon followers who take careful notes—and those are the kind who don’t get tossed into Ghettoputer’s Saturday night “Party Pit”—may remember your Volgi’s offhand remark (while discussing the effect of serial, mostly unintentional distortions of media on the world’s familiar-but-wrong … Continue reading →
Let me just add that part of Russia’s pique is due to the fact that Iran has been distancing themselves a bit from their former patron, due to having found a newer, deeper-pocketed partner in crime who hasn’t historically occupied … Continue reading →
…when the Weimar Republic tried to inflate its was out of its (brutal, to be sure) reparations, the Left keeps recommending it as an economic panacea. Look, judicious increases in the money supply are desirable and even necessary on occasion. … Continue reading →
Is that what Tōjō said to FDR? I forget. So Dr. J, the Gormogons’ mid-south operative, writes in with the following news story and some clever analysis reminiscent of that time he dunked from the foul line. Iran anniversary ‘punch’ … Continue reading →
’Puter’s Japanese vacation, 2006. ’Puter’s in Mesa, Arizona. A semi-naked man has been arrested after he waved a bag of drugs at a police officer while hiding in a ditch wearing woman’s trousers, exposing his genitals, and surrounded by pornography. … Continue reading →
So your Œcumenical Volgi is over at Dan Steinberg’s Sports Bog and decides out of nostalgia to watch the “Thanks for the 12th Man” video from 1987 or so. And at twenty-nine seconds in, he does a double take and … Continue reading →
One hates to welcome a really smart and well-written blog with a cavil, but, alas, one must. First: Bad Rachel seems like it’ll be totally worth adding to your blog roll. A couple more posts like her first, and she’ll … Continue reading →
The crisis question right now is: What’s going to happen about the euro? Serious stuff, kids, and way more interesting—and broader—than a narrow issue of currency valuation. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →We have to hold these every so often, as ’Puter has lengthy blackout periods. Going back in time, the previous “love-boat prom” story doubtless will remind GorT of how ’Puter had a Love Boat prom. Took 23 cops to bring … Continue reading →
This post is a public-service announcement on behalf of Friend of the Gormogons Claire Berlinski. Claire is a really interesting American freelance journalist who lives in Istanbul. She recently had quite a scare with her brother Mischa, his UN-employed wife, … Continue reading →
Mr. Plinkett, America’s greatest geriatic serial killer and pizza roll aficionado, submits his review of Avatar. Very much worth your time, if not quite the epic demolition job of his incredibly brilliant, 70-minute Phantom Menace review. As said, he’s got … Continue reading →
We shouldn’t let the passing of the Gormogons’ three-thousandth post (the Czar’s denunciation of robots) without a brief expression of pride (viz., “yay”) and a substantially longer note of thanks to the legions of you who, having stumbled upon the … Continue reading →
Interesting attempt to get a handle on the President’s psyche by Michael Knox Beran. Not sure it’s exactly right, but definitely worth pondering. The weird calm with which Obama contemplates this electoral debacle is consonant with the apparent serenity with … Continue reading →
So, Friday, the good folks at Sukhoi gave the first public test flight of the PAK-FA, which is an acronym meaning roughly “Advanced Aircraft System: Frontline Aviation.” The Sukhoi plane is officially called the T-50, so we’ll go with that … Continue reading →
Variety’s Todd McCarthy on Sundance: Still, I must hasten to point out that, given the dogmatic leftism/tree-hugging/granola-chewing/global warming alarmism, et al., the festival has always embraced, the only real act of rebellion within a Sundance context would be to present … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →…but did I miss a meeting about this? Because it seems like something we’d do with some three-level psychological-cultural stratagem, but I can’t ever remember seeing this in any of our memos. So this might just be spontaneously, galactically bizarre. … Continue reading →
RAWWWWWW & Economics, BOYEEE! Very clever. Although Lord Keynes wasn’t known for hittin’ on the hotties. Via VdR @ the Corner. Background here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Very clever. Via Jonah @ the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Hey, man, come follow the Gormogons on Twitter. All the cool kids are doing it. Proof? You want proof? So, who’s cool? Well, among pale, shut-in, overeducated, alcoholic, right-wing paranoiacs—we hear—someone who’s cool is Jonah Goldberg, the Mobutu Sésé Seko … Continue reading →
Cæsar noster, Confucius says: Classical Latin is what we all know, your Volgi suspects. Although he may be the only one to have learned it from a priest. The ’Puter, as you might guess, studied under a flamboyant gentleman amid … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The reason both wings of American liberalism — congressional and mainstream media — were so surprised at the force of anti-Democratic sentiment is that they’d spent Obama’s first year either ignoring or disdaining the clear early signs of resistance: the … Continue reading →
More guns in law-abiding hands mean less crime. The District of Columbia proves the point.Reading most press accounts, one would be forgiven for thinking Armageddon had arrived after the Supreme Court struck down the District’s handgun ban in 2008. Predictions … Continue reading →
Царь наш, you beat me to it. I was just going to like to La Brzezinska’s comments on the media’s pervasive liberalism. It’s like water for fish—they don’t even notice it and start gasping when they’re outside it. That said, … Continue reading →
…over at First Things. I think these are pretty good points, though he should mention that the Massachusetts Democrats’ changing the rules for appointing successors came back and bit them in the ass. But Kennedy was the key. As a … Continue reading →
Wow, Jonah was right on that whole liberal-fascist thing. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The Gormogons are probably a little too pleased to announce that Special Agent John Casey, NSA (what? WATCH CHUCK.) has joined the Gormogon Twitterama, under his alias of actor “Adam Baldwin.” We’re enormous fans here at Castle Gormogon—although we hesitate … Continue reading →
Or at least honorary Hard Hat. Quoth he at the Scott Brown rally: This isn’t the Democratic party of our fathers and grandfathers. This is the party of Woodstock hippies. I was at Woodstock — I built the stage. And … Continue reading →
Czar, I don’t think she needs the President to lose it for her. She’s doing wonderfully on her own. Via the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Or so it may look. But is it really a deeper plan? Look, kids, we’re a global, epoch-spanning conspiracy with designs on all humanity. But the internet? Eh. It serves our purposes, but we’re not all that fired up about … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Prodded by this post from Friend of the Gormogons J.V. Last and this post on Gamma Squad, we feel it necessary to discuss the Antikythera* Device (pictured at right). “What’s the Antikythera Device,” you ask, “and will it keep the … Continue reading →
Oh, goody. J.E. Dyer over at Commentary notes, in a post puckishly called “Game On” that China’s successfully tested an anti-ballistic-missile system. This is interesting, because as your Volgi has been writing for some time, China’s military strategy seems to … Continue reading →
Via Borepatch, whom you should be reading, here’s a link to a fun essay deriding the soi-disant Smart People who view themselves as the world’s natural and universal geniuses and discussing their identity. This is nothing new. There’s a Russian … Continue reading →
More from L.A. Weekly here. Yes, L.A. is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. From there you can see Western Civilization circling the bowl… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Many readers have asked for background about the Gormogons. Well, as you know, Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi who’s sustained his life unnaturally for centuries through arcane arts. But what is he really all about? Did he experience chaos … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →You don’t see too many hipster-nerd/NFL mashups, but this is really clever. Nice to see Buddy Ryan and Bobby Ross in there… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Very well done. Via Jonah. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Not in the LEAST safe for work. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
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