“You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this.” – Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace On Monday, Dr. J. was riding shotgun with Pa … Continue reading →
Is it purely the Czar’s cynicism here, or is this Life of Julia nonsense another one of those gold mine gifts to the Republican party, who will in turn do absolutely nothing with it? Assuming Mitt Romney is the challenger, … Continue reading →
Former Governor Pete (Pierre) DuPont IV (R-Delaware) (Seriously, R-Delaware) pens an editorial in the Wall Street Journal today. Pete ran for President in 1988. Dr. J. would have voted for him if he were old enough. Papa J. accused Dr. … Continue reading →
For those of you wondering why the hashtags all of a sudden, Dr. J. and GorT are doing a secret SPAMtastic experiment on Twitter. For those of you with a pulse, you know that today is May Day. Dr. J. … Continue reading →
One of Dr. J.’s biggest complaints about President Obama and his administration is the willingness to call out private citizens who disagree with his worldview or handle a situation in a different manner than he would. Specific examples include Joe … Continue reading →
Dr. J. was about to change the station from the AM PM guy to the FM PM guy when he heard him broadcast the audio of this video. All he could say was wow. Inspired by and surpassing Paul Harvey’s … Continue reading →
Dr. J. first heard a heavily bleeped version of this on the radio, this AM, and yes he had the AM station on this AM, and not the FM station this AM. He will have to switch the AM to … Continue reading →
Dr. J. has always said that two points make a straight line, but 3 or more points lets you get a better picture of what is really going on. The Obama Campaign has had a rough week or two since … Continue reading →
Sheesh, what a year already. So many voters have that sinking feeling about the election. Seriously, they ask, is this the best we can do? Is this the best we got? Do we have to hold our noses when we … Continue reading →
#ILikeObamacare #DinnerwithBarack #ObamaCaresAboutMe #gen44 These are twitter hashtags created by various and sundry tendrils of those who wish to re-elect President Obama. These hashtags, and many before them were contrived attempts to drive the conversation on twitter. Fortunately, the conservative … Continue reading →
President Obama had a hot mic yesterday when he was talking election politics with President Medvedev at the Seoul Nuclear Summit. While we don’t have the whole conversation available to us, it sounds strangely like President Obama is suggesting that … Continue reading →
Has anyone noticed that the better Romney does in the primaries, the goofier the shit Rick Santorum says? While most of Twitter is delighted with the idiocy of a Mitt Romney campaign honcho suggesting that Romney is an Etch-a-Sketch, capable … Continue reading →
The Czar voted early this morning, but was waiting for polls to close before announcing anything, given how easily a word or two from him could unfairly sway an election. The process was easy, and not plagued by the reported … Continue reading →
Illinois votes today, and for the first time in a very long while, the rest of Republican America gives a crap what Illinois thinks about anything. If Romney wins, as is expected, it will largely seal his place for the … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, I just happened to think of an analogy that explains why Catholics object to indirectly paying for sterilization, contraception, et al. If someone orders another person to do a crime, they are equally at fault, even though they’re … Continue reading →
You might recall the Czar’s optimism the other day when he reflected on how competitive (in the good sense) elections are getting across the nation. The unchallenged incumbent, winning election after election, now finds that he or she has not … Continue reading →
Even though Rick Santorum’s inner circle is now admitting they don’t have a real hope of winning the nomination outright, how interesting that already Rick Santorum is up by one point over Barack Obama. And that’s with this rebounding economy … Continue reading →
We assume by now you have heard about or seen the video calling for justice against Ugandan guerilla leader Joseph Kony. The Czar has seen posters and hand-drawn signs taped up all over Chicago simply saying KONY 2012. Yes, he … Continue reading →
Wow, it’s a really bad time to be President Obama, what with all these crazy decisions he made over the last three years coming back to bite him bad. He insisted that he could somehow make Iran break into a … Continue reading →
Despite what outsiders may understandably think, only about two counties in Illinois are reliable Democrats. A few counties are quite purple, but the vast majority of counties (but not overall population) tend to be quite Republican. The Czar lives in … Continue reading →
As New Atlantis falls within the borders of the great state of Tennessee, Dr. J. did his civic duty and casted his ballot in the GOP primary today. This morning, Dr. J. drove to the polling place in the Imperial … Continue reading →
To put it another way. Picture a ramshackle house full of donkeys, with a weedy yard festooned with rusted cars and old appliances. Undiapered little donkeys run amok on the tilted front porch, scribbling obscenities with something suspiciously fecal directly … Continue reading →
Operative MC etches this secret message into a single oatmeal flake and slipped it into the Czar’s breakfast. It turned up the following morning. A STFU gun!Yeah, the “Japanese” invented it, wink wink nudge nudge, say no more. I love … Continue reading →
Some interesting ideas come out of the Michigan primary because the Czar believes Michigan is a pretty good miniature model of the United States: diffuse red with pockets of dense blue. And with an open primary, Michiganders of both parties … Continue reading →
CNN hosted what they called the last debate of 2012. Promises! Except of course Oregon has one scheduled for March. Anyway, in the order they were seated at incredibly tiny tables, here is your debate roundup. Ron Paul was very … Continue reading →
Just more evidence of the clobbering weight of our influence. Someone here puts out a grammatically incorrect poll (“Whom do you like?”), and most of you all indicate you would like a different candidate than the three and a half … Continue reading →
With all the attention on Rick Santorum lately, Mitt Romney seems to be increasingly marginalized. But the fact is that he stands a very good chance of winning the nomination, and a reasonably good chance of being elected President. The … Continue reading →
The Czar was going to make a prediction, but it began to come true before he got it into print. Not that it was a stunning one: you probably made the same prediction yourself. Instead, here be a postdiction. Start … Continue reading →
It is astonishing that anyone can possibly take the New York Times’s political reporting seriously anymore. It is beyond satire. Check out an early story about the Rick Santorum stampede. First, the only picture they could find of him? A … Continue reading →
Remember boxing great Cassius Clay? Dr. J. does. He often used a technique called the ‘Rope-a-Dope’ where he was able to sustain blow after blow from his opponent, and when his opponent was sufficiently worn out, Mr. Clay would kick … Continue reading →
Wow. As people (but not the media) start to go through the latest released information (and there is a lot) on Fast and Furious, the reality is becoming clear: Eric Holder is doomed as Attorney General. Not only has the … Continue reading →
It will be interesting to see followup polls from the debate. Romney definitely put himself ahead of Gingrich. But did Santorum lift himself higher than Gingrich as well? The Czar is not making a prediction, but advises you not be … Continue reading →
Wow, thank goodness for audience participation. CNN allowed the crowd to jump in, and it was awesome when (a) Ron Paul led them in a call-response with “Bicycle Built For Two,” and (b) Rick Santorum had them conjugate amō, amās, … Continue reading →
Boring. None of the fire, really, of the weekend debate, but…eh, okay. So Mitt Romney is trying to be a little more tough guy, huh? Didn’t work, and he made Newt Gingrich look confident. Santorum seemed tired and irritable again, … Continue reading →
Ambisinistral, who incidentally is a great dancer, is heading up an interesting project in which he places leftists in Skinner boxes individual fully-enclosed wooden terraria. He takes a moment to write the Czar about a comment we made. “Rick Santorum … Continue reading →
Polls have been showing Newt Gingrich was going to do well in South Carolina, so the Czar is bemused by all the pseudo-surprised commentary about his victory there. In all respects, this might very well be Newt’s personal best; he … Continue reading →
Well, if you’re a person capable of reading a sentence and making it all the way to the end without forgetting what it was about, you can learn some things about our President. And if this describes his supporters, which … Continue reading →
Ai-yi-yi. Yi-yi-yi-yi. Despite some tweets we saw that spoke of boredom, the Czar thought tonight’s debate was killer. Darn nearly so, too. First question was to Newt Gingrich about his ex-wife’s ABC News interview, and Gingrich blasted the moderator and … Continue reading →
Well, Rick Perry is out. Actually, he has been out for some time, but evidently our post yesterday convinced him to take this seriously. We can certainly understand him not endorsing Mitt Romney: the two governors are fundamentally opposed on … Continue reading →
The Volgi’s opinion remains unchanged, though Santorum’s been better of late. To repeat: Willard Mittens Romney—Brittle weasel. Newton Weltgeist Gingrich—Grandiose flake. Rico Suave Perry—Inarticulate and parochial. Michelle Crazy Eyes Bachmann—Periodically comes off insane. Dr. Strangeron Paul—Periodically comes off sane. Rickroll … Continue reading →
The Czar has had a couple of requests over the last few months to skewer the Republican candidates to the same degree he has President Obama. Fair enough, although enough cumulative pixels have been spent here doing just that. So … Continue reading →
MC writes in a binary palindromes sometimes, with a letter starting 0101 but tending in 1010. Very clever. And not only did Lincoln know someone named Kennedy, but Lincoln knew a Hanks, while Kennedy was known to sneeze into a … Continue reading →
Hey, a couple of weeks ago, did you see this poll going around that shows how much Americans hate the rich? Huffington Post writes “Most Americans Think Income Inequality Is A Big Problem,” according to a poll conducted by The … Continue reading →
Wow, Newt is getting a little worried. Check out this ad hitting the blogs in South Carolina. Morning, South Carolina! I’m Newt Gingrich, and I am outraged to learn some of my fellow candidates don’t want to speak so that … Continue reading →
As GorT was reading the Czar’s post from this morning, it reminded him of a few tidbits that came across the optical interface this morning: Harry Belafonte (seriously, his best work is his Muppet show episode) is the latest in … Continue reading →
Debate exists whether Democrats want Romney to run against Obama because Obama would beat him, or whether the polls are right that Romney would eke out a victory over Obama. A lot of very pro-Obama supporters are suddenly coming out … Continue reading →
Well, the GOP surprised everybody by having another debate this evening. Is there one tomorrow morning, too? The Czar has lost track. Further, the Czar was going to skip this one tonight because he had stuff to do. But the … Continue reading →
An interesting situation. The populist Mitt Romney cannot get elected without support of conservatives, which his numbers show is still quite lacking. The conservative Rick Santorum cannot get elected without support of a wide swath of Americans, which his numbers … Continue reading →
Dr. J. lives in a rather blue neighborhood near New Atlantis Ivory Tower University and Medical Center. This is not a big deal to Dr. J. because folks tend to be pretty respectful, with the exception of one or two … Continue reading →
Last night, in Iowa, she did it again. Congresswoman Bachmann, in her wrap-up speech after the caucuses were over, said the most important thing is (shouting suddenly) defeating Barack Obama. Wrong, and this is the one-note song that ultimately sank … Continue reading →
Congratulations to Senator Rick Santorum, who effectively won the Iowa caucuses despite an effective tie with Governor Mitt Romney, simply by pulling from almost last place to pretty much first place. The Czar is too cynical and too much a … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s back at the keyboard after a well-deserved hiatus with friends and family. In his Christmastide meanderings south of the Mason-Dixon Line, ‘Puter managed to link up with GorT and OEV, as well as with their assembled multitude of spouses … Continue reading →
LittleRed1 sent the Czar an unbroken paragraph (but not all in upper case) regarding the Virginia GOP, whom by now you know are evil bastards. LittleRed1 writes (with our edits): Oh great and powerful Czar, As your mightiness no doubt … Continue reading →
Bizarre what’s been going on with the Virginia Republican Party. But unfortunately explicable. In most states, you can get yourself put on a presidential ballot with only about 5,000 signatures. This seems reasonable, so that you can weed out nonsense … Continue reading →
Obama’s campaign manager says that the President’s billion-dollar war chest isn’t the result of big business bribes, but ordinary Democrats kicking in $3 or $5 donations. There are 72 million registered Democrats in the United States. A billion dollars divided … Continue reading →
AH writes in with what the Czar thinks is absolutely polished, spot-on thinking. Please read this carefully, because he hits all the notes the Czar would be aiming for in future essays: Dread Czar, Liked your piece last night. It … Continue reading →
As Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul turn the heat up on each other, it has become clear that neither man is destined nor desirable to become President. A cakewalk for Mitt Romney? Not so fast—a quick scan of some recent … Continue reading →
Dr. J reports that: Seven in 10 Americans say they can’t wait for the presidential campaign to be over, while a minority of 26% can’t wait for it to begin. At 75%, residents of key 2012 swing states are even … Continue reading →
Tonight’s was a most interesting debate, for many reasons. In short, nearly everybody did their best. Mitt Romney had some superb lines, Newt Gingrich gathered a lot of applause on some interesting topics, Michele Bachmann was on fire tonight with … Continue reading →
Crank up the old Leftist media machines! The Los Angeles Times has a story that for all intents and purposes is a smear-piece on Christine O’Donnell’s endorsement of Mitt Romney. First sentence? “She’s not a witch.” Then why mention it? … Continue reading →
The Czar can go off all the time on left-wing editorials because there is just so much there, there. But the Czar isn’t happy to see similar slanted crap in right-wing editorials. The Czar, for example, loves to read anything … Continue reading →
Well, um, okay. The simple truth is that the Czar did not watch the GOP debate last night; he elected to watched the marginally censored (but still uncomfortably dialogued) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation on the Family Channel. The kids know … Continue reading →
48 hours after the Cain campaign crawled to a stop, some eulogizing may be in order, as well as some critical commentary. Cain’s biggest problem was himself, not the media. He took the idea of running for President pretty seriously, … Continue reading →
So why does Ron Paul continually insist that Iran is a threat to nobody, that their nuclear intentions are peaceful, and that the Taliban have never once attacked America outside of Afghanistan? Because any possibility that Iran is a threat, … Continue reading →
Tonight’s debate was one of the better ones, actually—obviously, the candidates all took the issue of national security seriously, because this was tonight’s theme, and all the question stemmed around it. We began with a nutty CNN intro that looked … Continue reading →
Ah yes, the age old problem: Reply All is Different From Reply. CBS News, who by all accounts showed their inability to do news with their botched Republican debate Saturday night, continued to screw themselves. First, you have a moderator … Continue reading →
As our readers know, ain’t none of your Gormogons all too pleased with the composition of the Republican presidential candidate pool, least of all ‘Puter. But, like it or not, it’s appearing more and more likely to ‘Puter that Romney’s … Continue reading →
The GOP brat pack had yet another debate tonight, this time in South Carolina, this time on CBS, and this time the subject was foreign policy. It was a total bore. In fact, here is the entire debate. Make up … Continue reading →
We actually had a lively debate. But you missed it, right? Fine—here is your summary. Moderators: Blew it. This was CNBC trying to promote their various hosts by having a good portion of them sit at the table and ask … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Michele Bachmann is perturbed by allegations against Herman Cain. “This is the year when we can’t have any surprises with our candidate,” she told Associated Press. She added, “That’s why I was the first candidate to be involved in an … Continue reading →
Herr Mann, mit Romney. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
Down in the depths of the Gormogons’ archives (still waiting for Marie to graduate and come organize them—we’re trying to talk GorT out of Dewey Hexavigesimal), word has reached Confucius* that the mass of GOP voters are unexcited about their … Continue reading →
We have heard that, in addition to Governor Mitt Romney, Governor Rick Perry also faces a credibility problem. This is understandable. First, you have the blank stares during debates…no matter if he was answering a question or someone else was. … Continue reading →
Well, despite fears to the contrary, the Czar caught quite a bit of the debate. Fortunately for you, this will probably be our shortest debate review ever. The dynamics were much more interesting tonight. None of the Czar’s previous criticisms … Continue reading →
While adjusting to his ADHD medication (Strattera, for those of you keeping score at home), ‘Puter came across this Eugene Robinson column in the Washington Post. Mr. Robinson claims the Democrats should harness the “economic justice” concerns allegedly at the … Continue reading →
The Czar sees that Twitter is aflutter with expectations that the Czar will review tonight’s debate. Actually, just ScottO did, and that’s plenty. Well, tonight it was hosted by Bloomberg, who introduced us to their under-watched channel with long commercials … Continue reading →
Dr. J. brought this issue up before. Because President Obama can’t beat Generic Republican (R-Anystate, USA), on the issues, and because he’s lost Rockefeller Republican Peggy Noonan who offered up the campaign slogan of “He Made Things Worse” for rival … Continue reading →
