Okay, sit back and pretend Jim Lehrer dropped acid, and that this is actually how the First Presidential Debate seemed to him. Parts of this are truly magnificent. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
Mind you, ‘Puter’s impression of U.S. Attorney Preet S. Bharara’s action against Bank of America is based entirely on Mr. Bharara’s press release, which you may review here. Here’s a very brief synopsis of the government’s claims. For a more … Continue reading →
Alert and poised-for-instant-Kung Fu-action operative MS writes in: Your most illustrious majesty: I watched only the first 10 minutes or so of last night’s debate before I was able to discern its rough course: Dear Leader: “This nation/me (priority frequently … Continue reading →
Dear Mr. President, After last night’s debate, you addressed a rally of your supporters and the press in Florida. But then I repeat myself. You chose this occasion, in front of a live audience of 11,000 or so to riff that … Continue reading →
All right, sports fans! Time to turn off the Bears-Lions game and see what happened on the final debate of 2012. Barack Obama – good: A lot of us were wondering which Barack Obama would be put out there tonight: … Continue reading →
In what may be a first, ‘Puter agrees with the Washington Post’s resident Obama fluffer E.J. Dionne, at least as to his central premise. Mr. Dionne states that President Obama’s agenda for a second term is not as hidden as … Continue reading →
A photo of ‘Puter’s Mom, circa 1967. Notreally. ‘Puter’s Mom was too busy workingto hang out with the rich kid, self absorbedhippies smoking weed and dodging the draft. ‘Puter’s going to let slip some ‘Puter family secrets. Both Mrs. ‘Puter … Continue reading →
In case you missed it, the traditional presidential candidate roast was held yesterday. The Czar would tell you all about the Smith Foundation and its goals, but you basically want to get to the good stuff. Anyway, you can look … Continue reading →
JAB writes in from the double-wide. Your Czarness: I apologize for my lack of correspondence lately, but have things ever been hopping at the Double-wide! And I mean that in a good way, not that I’ve been on the lam … Continue reading →
Mitt Romney won last night’s debate going away. Ignore what you’re hearing in much of the media. They’re brainless automatons programmed to advance Obama’s agenda regardless of cost to themselves or the nation. Sure, Obama was feisty. Sure, he sounded … Continue reading →
Island Dweller, a loyal minion who inexplicably was assigned to live in a desert, writes in: Your Immenseness:I have come away from the second debate largely with the same take you got on it. It was patently obvious Mr. Romney … Continue reading →
Yikes, what a mess. Some of you already know the Czar is less than pleased with the nonsense of the town hall-style debate. Many Twitter twerps were irate at how pro-Obama the questions were (immigration, Bush, outsourcing); in fact, a … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was fortunate enough to receive this message from the owner of a business that details the impact Obamacare will have on his employees: Rarely if ever have I expressed my political views to Company X Employees, but I … Continue reading →
Vice President Joe Biden addresses themedia after his stunning debate performance,blames the intelligence community for notmaking certain he took his meds today. ‘Puter watched the vice presidential debate last evening with his entire family, at least until ‘Puter shooed Spawn … Continue reading →
A lot of weird stuff is coming to light about the Benghazi attacks. By now, we have already established what happened, down to which room the Ambassador was hiding in, and how he was forced out with fire. This is … Continue reading →
Well, curiosities abound. The Obama campaign seems to have an internal bit of chaos going on. Inside reports (which may have been deliberately leaked to the press) indicate that the President was a tad…oblivious, perhaps?…to the debate fallout. Basically, the … Continue reading →
Well, even the far-left Pew Research has concluded that Mitt Romney won the debate with change to spare. Did we read correctly that undecided voters are leaning toward Romney 72-16 based on the debate? Worse news for the Obama campaign: … Continue reading →
Sometimes it is not good to be the Czar. For example, he is helping his sainted mother translate some paperwork from her father, and needless to say, penmanship was pretty bad in that century. One can hardly tell a ѣ … Continue reading →
During the debate, President Obama crowed that he did not raise taxes on 97% of small business owners. Mitt Romney explained to him, to the Presidents obvious discomfort, that the 3% who suffered the tax hike actually are responsible for … Continue reading →
Your non-‘Puter Gormogons have done a marvelous job of providing instant feedback and analysis of this week’s presidential debate, brought to you by the letter “F” and the number “4.” If you have not done so already, you really ought … Continue reading →
Now that the shock has worn off for many Americans that Mitt Romney is indeed a competent, commanding fellow, the Czar thought he would step back and look at the reaction to the debate. One reviewer felt that Mitt Romney … Continue reading →
The Czar won’t waste your time recapping the debate point by point; neither Obama nor Romney said anything new or startling. The questions were allegedly all about domestic policy, unemployment, taxes, healthcare, and the role of government in a citizen’s … Continue reading →
The Czar had an interesting exchange yesterday afternoon. A self-described Democrat was complaining to us about Obamacare, and how four of her friends were let go from a hospital because of new changes in the law. The Czar was not … Continue reading →
‘Puter lifted this police file photo of Czarsleeping off last year’s Christmas Partymystery punch. Moral of the story: Never let Sleestak bartend. He has a heavy pour. No, ‘Puter didn’t just regain consciousness after 2011’s yeti-themed New Year’s Eve Gala … Continue reading →
The Czar must say he is quite confused by the media on this election. Okay, there are so many stories “correcting” the polls that there is no point in providing a link to one of them. By and large, you … Continue reading →
Could Romney be planning a major policy dump during the debates? Wow, that might be a great idea, if he is conniving enough. Just a thought. Democrats and an increasing number of Republicans have been pressing Mitt Romney to release … Continue reading →
That headline seems so strange, but put Mitt Romney’s name in there, and everyone agrees with it. Yet, for months now, the President and Mitt Romney have been in a statistical tie for the most part. We keep hearing that … Continue reading →
When ‘Puter writes his musical version ofthe 2012 election, Bye Bye Barry, he’ssigning the young, hot Ann Margaret to star as him. Dang, what a fine looking woman. “What’s the story, Morning Glory? What’s the word, Humming Bird? Have you … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been thinking about Mitt Romney, and not in the “I wonder if he’s wearing that funky Mormon underwear” way. ‘Puter’s been thinking Mitt Romney needs to be true to who he is. Mitt Romney is the son of an … Continue reading →
Didja know that President Obama and Mitt Romney already had their first debate? Yes, it was a science debate, which candidates responded to in writing. The Czar heard the Mitt Romney thumped the President pretty hard, so he went to … Continue reading →
President Clinton’s speech was very odd. On paper, it served to accomplish two goals—to say that Barack Obama is a really nice guy, and that Republican criticisms of his presidency have been a little extreme compared to the GOP Bill … Continue reading →
Actual flyer as seen in the White House break room, detailingPresident Obama’s double secret plan to balance the budget:assume all Americans are as bad at math as he is. ‘Puter was making his daily round of blogs he enjoys. Over … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s WSJ sweetheart wrote this column last week. Reading it should be enough to get any freedom loving American out to vote: Just as important are the things Mr. Obama will not do. His record gives no indication he … Continue reading →
Lost amid the babble of election predictions? No kidding. Polls are not coming out fast and furious every day that show Mitt Romney ahead by one. Or Barack Obama by two. Or Mitt Romney by three, with an error margin … Continue reading →
Todd, Dr. J. will lend you his Imperial Shuttle, as it is the crunkiest Gormomobile this side of Mandy’s lime-green Fiero. Marvin K. Mooney was Dr. J.’s favorite Dr. Seuss book growing up. In this tale, Marvin K. Mooney is asked by … Continue reading →
The Czar does not watch a lot of network television. So it was with some curiosity when the Царица called his attention to the Sunday morning network political interview shows. You know, it really doesn’t matter which one, because the … Continue reading →
Borepatch writes: Dr. J, In re; your excellent post about the likely outcome of Obamacare – a 2-tier health care system similar to the one in the UK where the Government system stinks and anyone who can uses the private … Continue reading →
The President keeps insisting that Mitt Romney is planning to raise taxes on the middle class, in order to provide for a tax cut for the rich. Why, he even dubbed his challenger Romney Hood, to much laughter. But Romney’s … Continue reading →
With all the excitement in the news—whatever story floats your particular navy—one little item seems to be overlooked by most American news stories and frankly, it ought to be way more covered than Miley Cyrus cutting her hair short. And … Continue reading →
Dr. Krauthammer writes at NRO today: There are two ways to run against Barack Obama: stewardship or ideology. You can run against his record, or you can run against his ideas. Liberals castigate their opponents using the term ideologue. Basically, an … Continue reading →
Tarkin knew that if you take out Alderaan, smaller systems will toe the line.Take out HCA, and the same will happen with smaller for-profits. Dr. J. caught this little factoid in the news the other day, but hasn’t had a … Continue reading →
A thousand monkeys labor at a thousandtypewriters in a dank, dimly lit basementat the Washington Post, churning out editorials,subsisting on a meager diet of E.J. Dionne’s cast off half-empty Courvoisier bottles andRichard Cohen’s beard trimmings. Today’s Washington Post editorial takes … Continue reading →
This is Czar’s idea of making peace. Deadmen don’t cause trouble. “Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear.” Jeremiah 5:21. ‘Puter’s been on a bit of … Continue reading →
The Obama campaign is regrouping after the bungled speech by Obama last week where he belittled business owners and entrepreneurs and is attacking the Romney campaign for twisting the President’s words and omitting key sentences. Let’s revisit the entire quote … Continue reading →
People on all points of the political spectrum seem to find something off-putting about President Obama’s “you didn’t build that” gaffe—of all the smug, stupid, petty things he’s said, this one is—so far, anyway—the biggest jaw dropper. Many people of … Continue reading →
The Czar got a fine piece of email regarding Mitt Romney. Operative JF sends in the following suggestion: RE: Romney’s Irwin PA Speech I think you need to listen to it again. He has finally stepped up to the plate! … Continue reading →
Over at the sunnier climes of Professor Mondo, the great professor was highlighting how the President’s speech on Friday has been offending just about everybody given that it was a blatant ripoff of the already debunked and derided Professor Warren … Continue reading →
Although Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are locked in a statistically perfect tie (45-45-0), you can tell the Obama campaign is in total terror. Not panic—that happened in June. Terror. Every single attack on the Romney campaign has failed, and … Continue reading →
Overall, Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP was very smart. Very smart. And you can already see the Obama media feeds emphasizing how he was booed multiple times (a grand total of two, we believe), but neglects to mention the … Continue reading →
President Obama seems intent on refocusing the debate away from the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) and away from Fast & Furious (that’s still kicking around, right?) and away from job numbers that aren’t even keeping pace with population growth and … Continue reading →
So Mitt Romney outsourced a whole bunch of jobs to poor people when he was governor, except he didn’t. But that’s okay, because the Obama campaign is going to keep running with that. Mitt needs just a couple of these … Continue reading →
‘Puter keeps a mental list of things that piss him off, and periodically shares them with his close friends. By close friends, ‘Puter means “anyone standing within earshot when he encounters something that pisses him off.” Here are a few … Continue reading →
Does it strike you well-informed readers as odd that 68% of Americans blame George W. Bush fo the economy? After all, the 2008 economic meltdown happened with only a few short months of the Bush presidency left, but has been … Continue reading →
Interestingly, political junkies on both the Left and the Right each seem to have a major misconception about the Hispanic voters in the country. Fair is fair, and let us explain them both. Owners of these small businesses want lower … Continue reading →
As reported today via multiple news outlets: Democrats went on the offensive Thursday over the contempt proceedings against Attorney General Eric Holder, with the White House calling the campaign a “fishing expedition” and Nancy Pelosi accusing Republicans of targeting Holder … Continue reading →
GorT has used one of his 14 OLED displays to stream the CSPAN coverage of the House Oversight Committee’s proceedings this morning into this afternoon. Yes, there is plenty of partisan rhetoric being spewed by members of both sides but … Continue reading →
Elizabeth Warren’s people believed that the coyote represented the Trickster spirit in legend. Turns out, the real thing works pretty much the same way. One of the ways President Obama won his 2008 election—and all his previous ones—was by his … Continue reading →
Military strength, lower spending, lower taxes, free market capitalism and family values are the five legs to the Republican elephant. Polls continue to show incumbent Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney in a statistical tie. The Czar refers to the … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin wishes to extend his congratulations to Governor Scott Walker and Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch on their victory last night. Your Mandarin is also pleased with the overall outcome of this recall effort and the ongoing impact it is … Continue reading →
No less a personage than Dick Morris—whom liberals will remember helped Bill Clinton get re-elected—said that he has done the math on November’s election. Polls can be fairly accurate predictors of election results provided they are analyzed based on historical … Continue reading →
Not actually Ms. Dowd. Just a sexy librarian with which to start your day. If President Obama’s lost America’s Sweetheart and conscience of a generation (the perpetually upbeat and never cynical Maureen Dowd), he’s lost America. Well, he’s lost those … Continue reading →
Wow. Go to Google news and check out how many stories there are about the “Vatileaks” scandal. Vatileaks? What, Vatigate was taken? Is —leaks the new tag the media can use as a shorthand cliché for a person who releases … Continue reading →
Cubs fans are a weirdly persistent lot; they would follow their team to the ends of the Earth. So much so that many teams like to play the Cubs at home because their usually empty stadiums are filled with concessions-buying … Continue reading →
You may have missed it, but this week has been really one slap of bad news after another for the Obama campaign. Whether it’s blowback from turning a Medal of Honor ceremony into a political stump speech, or a jaw-droppingly … Continue reading →
Dr. J. couldn’t help but chuckle today. Remember all those times the media played gotcha with President Bush at photo ops, publishing pictures like this, and this?? Well turn about is fair play, at least in James Taranto’s eyes (the … Continue reading →
The Czar will not deny he gets great email. Take this message from the Burgher of Bong. Bong is a real place, and it is just to the South of our Castle. The Burgher came to visit us once, and … Continue reading →
You know what’s incredibly dangerous to Democrats’ identity politics? Gay Americans who think for themselves. Long-time Gormogons Twitter collaborator Gay Patriot has a home run post that reveals what a total crock the President’s suddenly evolved position on Same Sex … Continue reading →
As you heard, Joltin’ Joe Biden announced that he’s now totally in favor of same sex marriage, and cited a fifteen-year-old television show he evidently never watched as the reason why. The President, though, is still evolving on the subject. … Continue reading →
Is it purely the Czar’s cynicism here, or is this Life of Julia nonsense another one of those gold mine gifts to the Republican party, who will in turn do absolutely nothing with it? Assuming Mitt Romney is the challenger, … Continue reading →
Yes…yes, of course we had everything to do with it! And so says JAB: Dear Your Czarness: Dang, you fellers in the Castle do work most swiftly! I don’t know if a time-traveling trick or a mind-control-ray was deployed, or … Continue reading →
Ah, New York Times. Is there no level to which you will not stoop to ensure President Obama’s reelection? Witness the NYT’s reaction this weekend to quarterly earnings announcements from Wells Fargo and Chase, two of America’s largest banks. The … Continue reading →
The Detroit Free Press, which is vastly better since it fired its journalists and let crackpots on the Internet write its stories, has a peice today about Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) tweeting that the President might be, well, stupid: Constituents … Continue reading →
We dig deep down into the mailbag, past the raw otter meat, the queen scorpion egg case, and seven offers for high-interest credit cards, and find two addressed to us. Protagoras has gone emo, writes KH—if you have lost your … Continue reading →
Miss the President’s speech today on the importance of budget control? So did the President. Here is, more or less, the text of the speech. All right, listen up. As you heard, nine-hundred billion experts recently rejected Paul Ryan’s proposed … Continue reading →
The Supreme Court of the United States is, as everyone knows by now, ruminating over the legality of Obamacare. Things are not looking too hot for that particular law, at least based on legal experts’s opinion (real ones, not the … Continue reading →
There is some good news out there. This is a really bad couple of weeks coming up for Obamacare. As you know by now, the SCOTUS is expected to deliver a series of death-blows to it (although the voting will … Continue reading →
Illinois votes today, and for the first time in a very long while, the rest of Republican America gives a crap what Illinois thinks about anything. If Romney wins, as is expected, it will largely seal his place for the … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, I just happened to think of an analogy that explains why Catholics object to indirectly paying for sterilization, contraception, et al. If someone orders another person to do a crime, they are equally at fault, even though they’re … Continue reading →
The Czar grouses a lot when people refer to the Obama presidency as exemplary of the Chicago political machine. Repeatedly, the Czar has proven that Obama never quite made it into the machine, and therefore attempts to emulate it, but … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was mortified when he discovered this story about a flag flying above the Lake County Florida Democratic Party headquarters. The flag has a picture of President Obama emblazoned on it where the 50 stars should be – or … Continue reading →
Even though Rick Santorum’s inner circle is now admitting they don’t have a real hope of winning the nomination outright, how interesting that already Rick Santorum is up by one point over Barack Obama. And that’s with this rebounding economy … Continue reading →
We assume by now you have heard about or seen the video calling for justice against Ugandan guerilla leader Joseph Kony. The Czar has seen posters and hand-drawn signs taped up all over Chicago simply saying KONY 2012. Yes, he … Continue reading →
Wow, it’s a really bad time to be President Obama, what with all these crazy decisions he made over the last three years coming back to bite him bad. He insisted that he could somehow make Iran break into a … Continue reading →
Operative MC etches this secret message into a single oatmeal flake and slipped it into the Czar’s breakfast. It turned up the following morning. A STFU gun!Yeah, the “Japanese” invented it, wink wink nudge nudge, say no more. I love … Continue reading →
Some interesting ideas come out of the Michigan primary because the Czar believes Michigan is a pretty good miniature model of the United States: diffuse red with pockets of dense blue. And with an open primary, Michiganders of both parties … Continue reading →
Readers know the Czar is most upset about the HHS letter; not for personal religious or political reasons, but because this is a brazen assault on our Constitution by a man sworn to defend it from exactly this type of … Continue reading →
With all the attention on Rick Santorum lately, Mitt Romney seems to be increasingly marginalized. But the fact is that he stands a very good chance of winning the nomination, and a reasonably good chance of being elected President. The … Continue reading →
Your Czarness, Greetings from your Bongburgher. I have a contact on Capitol Hill which has provided me with an early draft of the President’s SOTU. I submit it to you via passenger pigeon as part of the historical record. It … Continue reading →
Ambisinistral, who incidentally is a great dancer, is heading up an interesting project in which he places leftists in Skinner boxes individual fully-enclosed wooden terraria. He takes a moment to write the Czar about a comment we made. “Rick Santorum … Continue reading →
Well, if you’re a person capable of reading a sentence and making it all the way to the end without forgetting what it was about, you can learn some things about our President. And if this describes his supporters, which … Continue reading →
Well, Rick Perry is out. Actually, he has been out for some time, but evidently our post yesterday convinced him to take this seriously. We can certainly understand him not endorsing Mitt Romney: the two governors are fundamentally opposed on … Continue reading →
Hey, a couple of weeks ago, did you see this poll going around that shows how much Americans hate the rich? Huffington Post writes “Most Americans Think Income Inequality Is A Big Problem,” according to a poll conducted by The … Continue reading →
Debate exists whether Democrats want Romney to run against Obama because Obama would beat him, or whether the polls are right that Romney would eke out a victory over Obama. A lot of very pro-Obama supporters are suddenly coming out … Continue reading →
BG lined up atoms, using incredible amounts of energy to get them into an Arial font, to spell out the following message: You state, “Obama is adamantly opposed to gay marriage. Where are his questioners?” What do you base that … Continue reading →
Obama’s campaign manager says that the President’s billion-dollar war chest isn’t the result of big business bribes, but ordinary Democrats kicking in $3 or $5 donations. There are 72 million registered Democrats in the United States. A billion dollars divided … Continue reading →
The Czar has trouble following the right-wing and left-wing media’s competing narratives about President Obama’s (over-)reliance on drone attacks. The left is worried he is getting too bloodthirsty. The right has a dual message: first, this was actually a Bush … Continue reading →
JAB replies: Your Czarness, Thanks for showing restraint and not banning me from the Castle bar, at least not yet. Your post “The Enemy of the Good” provides excellent reasons for voting for anyone but Obama. However, you completely misjudge … Continue reading →
Dr. J reports that: Seven in 10 Americans say they can’t wait for the presidential campaign to be over, while a minority of 26% can’t wait for it to begin. At 75%, residents of key 2012 swing states are even … Continue reading →
The President, despite all analysis, has declared the Iraq War officially over. Congratulations, Mr. President. We believe you have earned this: The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
