↓
 

The Gormogons

Home→Categories Club Gormogon

Category Archives: Club Gormogon

Feels like the end of the world some days.

The Gormogons Posted on May 1, 2016 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 1, 2016

Johnny Cash is here to help. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon

So We Put a Team Together

The Gormogons Posted on April 24, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Castle Gormogon survived its first softball practice last night, and one would be shocked to learn we weren’t that bad; but not nearly as shocked one would be if we had a second practice. Indeed, if there were indeed any … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Softball

BG is teh Awsum

The Gormogons Posted on April 6, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Long-time brainpowerfulness BG writes in: Your Czariness – Jonah Goldberg initially pointed me in the direction of Castle Gormogon. So it’s immensely satisfying to me when someone responds to a post of mine as below. rulierose @bg • 20 hours … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Illegals, Immigration, In English Please, Jonah Goldberg, Mailbag, Minion, Minions

Found on GorT’s Fridge…NOW WITH MORE ERRATA

The Gormogons Posted on July 30, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Clever lady that Mrs. GorT… ERRATA: In order to augment the satirical nature of this post, Dr. J. did not credit his source for this post, namely Spooky Witchy Facebook Friend. When another Gormo did some digging, and found that … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon

#Mandles – A hashtag waiting to happen…

The Gormogons Posted on July 6, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Yet another sign of the looming apocalypse. Dr. J. was listening to the New Atlantis AM AM guy on the radio today on the drive to work, and this Businessweek article became the target of ridicule. Apparently the Yankee Candle … Continue reading →

Posted in Bronies, candles, Club Gormogon, Gifts, Humor, Metrosexuals, zombie apocalypse

Own the Narrative

The Gormogons Posted on June 12, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hey, lucky readers! Know what can be even more fun than reading the Czar? Hearing a faithful reading of one his posts! Check out, and continue to check in with, the folks at Own the Narrative, in which they read … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Hey We're On The Radio

Club Gormogon — The @MBernadetteE Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 26, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Chanticleer — Ave Maria/Angelus (Franz Biebl, arr.) Robert Preston — Marian the Librarian Lyle Lovett — Penguins (Sorry, no embedding the last one. Worth the click through, though…) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Liturgical music, Musicals, Oh Marie, Penguins

Club Gormogon — The Great Grace Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 19, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

This evening’s Club Gormogon show features a lineup in tribute to our hipster-con ninjababe, Great Grace (and the great, graceful, lower-profile KRS). Enjoy the folky-rocky-bluegrassy goodness. Old Hundred — Midwest Girl The Avett Bros. — Kick Drum Heart, Live (15 … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Ninjababe

And a little something ’Puter used to sing in the joint

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Because he went down to Houston and gambled and fought. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon

And for GorT

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon

Since Dr. J is kickin’ it ol’ skool…

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

…as befits his cameo in “You Be Illin’,” here’s another long-form masterpiece from back in said day: Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon

Around the World In Eleventy Daze

The Gormogons Posted on September 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Special Operative Extraordinary (sorry, that should read extra-ordinary) MC has been stationed up on the Mandarin’s orbiting mind control satellite changing the oil, and notified us that the webcam we put on there has been compromised. Suppose ‘Puter let Dat … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogons, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, The Mandarin

I’ll show you a place | Where there’s no sorrow or pain

The Gormogons Posted on September 11, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Requiescant in pace. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in 9/11, Club Gormogon

Neat cover of a song so iconic it’d give one pause to record

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Via the Anchoress Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon

Meeting the Big Guy Himself

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And so the Czar was lucky to have no less a personage than Uncle Jay over to the Castle for a brief lunch. You do read Uncle Jay every day, no? Anyway, with a rare-enough trip to Chicago in his … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons

Gormogonicon 2011

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Today was a special day. While ‘Puter and Dr. J are running the Castle, the Czar was happy to host GorT, the Mandarin, and the 孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) here at the Czar’s dacha in Muscovy. Actually, … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Gormogonica, Gormogons

Gooble Gobble! Dr. J is One of Us

The Gormogons Posted on June 30, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And in the dark corners of the Castle dungeons, whispers and hissing did slip through the dank air. Faces, barely lit by flickering candlelight, would lean in from the gloom only to fade back into shadow. Antient and eldritch words, … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons

“I’ll Fly Away” —Johnny Cash

The Gormogons Posted on May 21, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Premillennial dispensationalism and scriptural crypto-mathematics? No, thanks. The elderly Johnny Cash from the haunted heart of American low-church Protestantism, oh, God, yes. All but the last of these (and some even better tracks not on YouTube) are available on My … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon

Rach with Bach

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Advertising, Club Gormogon, Japan

Happy Purim, a little belatedly, from the Gormogons.

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Hope it was a good time. Cute song: Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Holidays, Humor, Jews

If A Hitter Produces Hits, Then A Twitter Produces…

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Hey, if you’re not following us on Twitter, you’re missing out on half the fun! Well, maybe not half. Perhaps an eighth. Anyway, it costs you zip and has all sorts of lunacy you don’t find here. Go ahead. Click … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, This tweet really sucks, Twitter

Tucson killer’s police file? “Just an excitable boy, they all said…”

The Gormogons Posted on January 18, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Evil, Murder, Warren Zevon

Don’t Forget Our Shameless Plugging!

The Gormogons Posted on November 22, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Folks, don’t forget that you can explore our libraries down a little bit and to the left. You can see the books we talk about here, and even make periodic references to. If you especially like, you can buy the … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Gormogonica

The Czar Comments

The Gormogons Posted on October 29, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Regular readers here probably noticed that we have comments turned off. It is a policy that is universally supported by the Gormogons, and you know why? Low signal-to-noise ratio. With comments turned off, people are forced to send us emails, … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon

Re: Electricity

The Gormogons Posted on August 11, 2010 by GorTApril 7, 2014

GorT received the following from one of the followers (are you one, Herbert?) Oh Gort, the sandals of whose electrons, I am not fit to touch…I humbly suggest that some scurrlious, nay, heretical enemies of the Mechanissiah have crept into … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Electricity, Mailbag

Notice to Our Readers: Gormogonicon 2010

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dearest readers: The Gormogons are pleased to announce that we are mere days away from GCon MMX. As you ticket holders know, we will be meeting at the Plateau of Leng this year. Festivities begin today (Thursday) at 0900 and … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Gormogonica, Gormogons

Flash Gordon, Quarterback, New York Jets.

The Gormogons Posted on June 29, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Amazingly, at the Mandarin’s wedding, he actually got up and said, “Remove the Earth woman! Prepare her for Our pleasure!” If you can turn this movie off late-night cable, your Tool of the Gormogons membership may be revoked. It’s got … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Flash…AH AH, This movie really sucks

Justin Bieber Is Dreamy!

The Gormogons Posted on May 17, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

And, part of the ongoing Gormogon quest for world domination. Master Bieber’s role in the plot will be revealed to our readers in the fullness of time. Now gaze upon Master Bieber and his hypnotic hair* until you no longer … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon

‘Puter Status Update

The Gormogons Posted on April 27, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

1. Work is bat-sh!t crazy. 2. The Washington Capitals suck. 3. It’s snowing outside ‘Puter’s window. Seriously. 4. At least there’s Glee tonight! Czar and ‘Puter like to watch Glee with a handle of vodka (each) and a big bowl … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon

Sheep Count Him

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Ricky Jay

Happy birthday, Angelo Badalamenti

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2010

And now for something completely different. She’s full of secrets. The owls are not what they seem. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Happy Birthday, Twin Peaks

Air in your bra too, buddy.

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 17, 2010

Lânetlilerin Türk türküsü. The Pogues. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Dirty Irish

Round Two

The Gormogons Posted on March 16, 2010 by GorTMarch 16, 2010

The five of us put our heads together at the Leaping Peacock last night (it was the only way to get ‘Puter involved) and conducted our Selection Sunday for our own take on the meaningful brackets. For those of you … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Dictionarium Gormogonicum

Now we goin’ ol’ skool

The Gormogons Posted on December 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 25, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Humor

A classic revisited

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 24, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Humor, Muppets

Well, I now kinda do.

The Gormogons Posted on December 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 23, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, This TV show really sucks

Gormogon Action Figures

The Gormogons Posted on August 18, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 18, 2009

Thanks to questions from our dozens billions of fans, the Gormogon Gift Shop, in the first level of the Castle Gormogon (next to ‘Puter’s Pub and the Mandarin Grill) contains action figures for all of us. The Mandarin comes with … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Club Gormogon, Friend of Gormogons, Gormogonica

Ronnie Bennett Says…

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 14, 2009

“Be My Little Baby.” 2:34 of your time, and every second is bliss. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Interlude, Music

Gormogons After Dark

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 14, 2009

Since the Czar’s started showing some of the old Eyemos from Club Gormogon, Confucius* will join in and says: here are Kelly Flint and her confrères in Dave’s True Story. The lyrics are, hmm… hot and bothered. *For those who … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Dave’s True Story, Interlude, Music

Let Me Put You Wise

The Gormogons Posted on July 13, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 13, 2009

The Czar can’t be a jerky all the time. 2:25 of your time, and yeah, it’s worth it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, Interlude, Music

Visitor’s Guide

About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

Scribble, scribble…

To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

De Gormogonorum Mysteriis

Archives

  • July 2024
  • July 2023
  • February 2023
  • August 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • January 2000
  • September 1999
  • July 1998
  • May 1998
  • September 1997
  • August 1997
  • July 1997
  • February 1997
  • September 1996
  • August 1996
  • September 1995
  • May 1995
  • July 1994
  • April 1994
  • March 1994
  • February 1994
  • October 1993
  • March 1992
  • May 1990
  • September 1988
  • December 1986
  • September 1981
  • September 1979
  • May 1977
  • July 1976
  • May 1972
  • December 1970
  • August 1970
©2025 - The Gormogons - Weaver Xtreme Theme
↑
Manage Cookie Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}