↓
 

The Gormogons

Home→Categories Humor - Page 2 << 1 2 3 >>

Category Archives: Humor

Post navigation

← Older posts
Newer posts →

’Puter heartbreak

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

’Puter’s quite the ladies’ man, even if he usually drags them off like a robot in a ’50s B-movie. Still, he has feelings, and doubtless he’s crushed to learn that his prom date* was two-timing him with Matt Labash. So … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Humor, Maryland

Dr. J provides conclusive proof of global warming

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Yetis are apparently going into the citrus-fruit business. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Dr. J., Global Warming, Humor, Yeti

Iowahawk is leaked pages from the president’s stump-speech book.

The Gormogons Posted on September 21, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

The Car, the Ditch & the Slurpee. Yeah, you probably better get over there and read that now. Just empty your bladder first. Better safe than sorry. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Iowahawk

Indispensable reference!

The Gormogons Posted on July 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

By David Malki @ Wondermark, to whom all thanks and praise. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Bigfoot, Famous Monsters of Filmland, Fembots, Humor, Mad science, Robots, Vampires, Yeti

Devastating earthquake strikes D.C.

The Gormogons Posted on July 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Pictures of the devastation are coming in. Heartbreaking. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in D.C., EARTHQUAAAKE, Humor

I’m not saying this is one of Ghettoputer’s relatives…

The Gormogons Posted on July 2, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

…but I’m not NOT saying it’s one of his lovely female cousins—Miss West Virginia in the heezy.* (NSFW language.) *Heezy here denoting a doublewide with tarpaper patching and a satellite dish slightly smaller than the Arecibo radio telescope. Confucius, Œc. … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Humor

The Black Hole of Calvert’a

The Gormogons Posted on June 28, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Some quality Balmer bashing over at KSK. Their flag does rock, though. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Balmer Murlin, Humor

“I’m Beginning to Believe This Obama Fellow Is Unequal to the Task”

The Gormogons Posted on June 23, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

T. Coddington van Voorhees VII rotasubteriates Barry O: I and my guests were momentarily stunned, this being the first time any of us had heard an ill word spoken about Mr. Obama by a European of impeccable intellect with the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Iowahawk, Rotasubteriation, The Obama Amateur Hour

Super! Thanks For Asking!

The Gormogons Posted on June 22, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Continuing merrily down the gay highway, here, courtesy of Holy Taco, are Five Unintentionally Gay Parts of Everday Life. Enjoy! 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although … Continue reading →

Posted in Gays, Humor

He works for us.

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

See Gamma Squad for an explanation. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Video games

Bateman & Arnett, together again.

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

With some sort of psychoactive chewing gum. Thanks, Flava. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Advertising, Arrested Development, Humor

Stormtroopers!

The Gormogons Posted on May 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Much more toy-stormtrooper awesomeness here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Star Wars, Toys

It is a shocking scandal.

The Gormogons Posted on May 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Invisible A—holes Elena Kagan and America’s Rude Legacy of anti-Harvard Bigotry Guest Opinionby Professor John Evans Evans-JohnHarvard School of Harvard A—hole StudiesHarvard University When I last visited these pages, in the wake of the Cambridge Police Department’s brutal treatment of … Continue reading →

Posted in Elitism, Harvard, Humor, Iowahawk

Nice work, dude.

The Gormogons Posted on May 8, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Lego, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

Arrant geekery

The Gormogons Posted on April 28, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

But funny. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, This song really sucks, Video games

Public-Sector Employee of the Year Award

The Gormogons Posted on April 26, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Via John Derbyshire on the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Gubbamint, Humor

Ha. I mean, it’s not like stabbing them in the street…

The Gormogons Posted on April 23, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

…but this is a pretty funny—and way more moral—form of revenge. The site revolutionislam.com, which threatened Matt Stone & Trey Parker with death for their Muhammad-themed jokes in the 200th episode of South Park, was hacked thusly: Update: Looks like the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Islamic Terror, Islamism

GloZell!

The Gormogons Posted on April 21, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

This is some pretty good satire, reminiscent of In Living Color and Chapelle’s Show, and dynamite screen presence. Enjoy. More at her YouTube channel here. No idea what her politics are, so don’t bitch to the Volgi if you’re offended … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor

I feel the sky come tumblin’ down

The Gormogons Posted on April 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Царь наш, In regards to your earlier post about the obscurantist ẖojatoleslām who was blaming seismic activity on the wiles of wanton women.* Obviously, sure, Eyjafjallajökull’s eruption was caused by Mandy’s Tectonomat® because he needed to short some airline stocks … Continue reading →

Posted in Disaster, Humor, Iceland, Sex

どうもありがとうミセスフェムボット

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

I’ll be damned. ’Puter was right. Mandy was working on fembots. Well, congratulations to him on the roll-out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Fembots, Gormogonica, Humor, Japan

Castle G on screen

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 24, 2010

As we’ve mentioned, treacherous Frenchman (do we repeat ourself?) and Gormogon buddy, Luc Besson, took a bunch of “home movies” around Castle Gormogon and is now using them in his new movie, La Femme Indiana Jones or something. Here’s the … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Humor, Nous aimons Luc Besson

Just Undo It

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2010

Buy it here. Via Li Bai. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Socialized Medicine

Is that Rasputin?

The Gormogons Posted on March 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 16, 2010

Because, seriously, Czar, I know you told that guy to stay away from your wife, but now he’s taunting you from Newsweek covers. Can’t see him? Hover your mouse over the picture for a clue. Via larwyn via e-mail. Confucius, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor

☢ Warning: Teh Hotness Ahead ☢

The Gormogons Posted on March 15, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 15, 2010

Operative DT whinges: Oh Wise Volgi, Whose Wisdom Knows No End (and, might I add, is really “rocking the 啤酒 Gut”: As a mere operative, I could not hope to provide a suggestion to one as mighty as yourself. However, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Humor, S.E. Cupp

Ok, this is schtick, but it’s good schtick.

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 27, 2010

Of course, the Volgi’s favorite part is at 03:30. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Liberals, Stupid People

Kom til silden, ophold for den eksistentielle angst

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 25, 2010

Hmm. This doesn’t appear to be resizing right. Watch full screen or at the original site, if that’s the case on your screen. Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →

Posted in Denmark, Humor

Touché

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 25, 2010

(Britain is a bit like Greece except with the Elgin Marbles) quoth Stuttaford. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Archaeology, Art, Great Britain, Greece, Humor, Rule Britannia

If Hello Kitty were here, it’d be like looking in Ghettoputer’s head

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 24, 2010

Remember folks, for every guy in a Disney suit, there’s a sweaty, stifling, stifled drama student. Great singing, but man, modern musicals must be dreadful if these are show-stoppers. Via James Lileks’s Twitter feed. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Musicals

Things to do in Denver when you’re dead…

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 24, 2010

…don’t compare to those you can do when stuck in the Pittsburgh airport overnight during a Snowpocalypse. Marvelous. Whoever this girl is, we love you. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Red Letter “Avatar” review

The Gormogons Posted on February 2, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 2, 2010

Mr. Plinkett, America’s greatest geriatic serial killer and pizza roll aficionado, submits his review of Avatar. Very much worth your time, if not quite the epic demolition job of his incredibly brilliant, 70-minute Phantom Menace review. As said, he’s got … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, This movie really sucks

GorT goes back and informs the Führer of the bad news

The Gormogons Posted on January 29, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 29, 2010

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Adolph Hitler, Apple, Humor, iPad

He’s the taxman.

The Gormogons Posted on January 25, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 25, 2010

Very clever. Via Jonah @ the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, Humor, Taxes

Der Kennedymandatuntergang

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 20, 2010

Wow, Jonah was right on that whole liberal-fascist thing. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Adolph Hitler, Humor, Liberal Fascism, Massachusetts

M.C. 900-Foot Levy

The Gormogons Posted on January 13, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 13, 2010

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Red Eye, This TV show really sucks

Czar, here’s the chart to check when you say “articulate.”

The Gormogons Posted on January 11, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 11, 2010

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Humor, Racism

You play to win the game

The Gormogons Posted on January 8, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 8, 2010

You don’t see too many hipster-nerd/NFL mashups, but this is really clever. Nice to see Buddy Ryan and Bobby Ross in there… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, NFL, This song really sucks, This sport really sucks

Why GorT invented the Nexus Googlephone

The Gormogons Posted on January 7, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 7, 2010

Not in the LEAST safe for work. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Google, GorT, Humor, iPhone

Now we goin’ ol’ skool

The Gormogons Posted on December 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 25, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Humor

A classic revisited

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 24, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Club Gormogon, Humor, Muppets

Important Copenhagen re-post from Iowahawk

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 18, 2009

Carbie the Climate Clown, Emmett K. Bozo Distinguished Professor of Climate Pantomimology, University of East Anglia; EU Regional President, Union of Concerned Climate Scientists and Street Performers writes: These conclusions were not only endorsed by the scientific and clown communities, … Continue reading →

Posted in Climate Change, Clowns, Global Cooling, Global Warming, Humor, Iowahawk, Phoney Science

When ’Puter goes hunting in Michigan…

The Gormogons Posted on December 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 16, 2009

…he drives the Pontiac Vibe he leaves at his vacation house. Astutely spotted at Deadspin. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in 'Puter, Humor, Mr. Yuck

Ever study Egyptology?

The Gormogons Posted on November 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 29, 2009

You’ll have flashbacks. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Fifth Beatle, Future, Humor

Confucius says, The Mandarin should stop bringing…

The Gormogons Posted on November 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 28, 2009

…these crappy bootlegs back to the Castle. Oddly, we have two copies of this one, but upon inspection, the other one comes from Ghettoputer’s “special” collection, and the Gormogons aren’t about to risk prosecution in many countries (and civil suits … Continue reading →

Posted in Bad Translations, Digital Piracy, Humor, Stupid People, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Outstanding. Simply Outstanding.

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 30, 2009

If you love The Dark Knight movies, as the Mandarin does, you will love this video. Short, and eye-wateringly funny. If you are not as kind to them, as the Czar is not, the video sort of explains why. Dead-on … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor

Mandarin Test Subject 13E90.22

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 17, 2009

Keep watching the skies for Orbital Mind-Control Lasers. (Also, don’t do ether, kids.) Via FilmDrunk. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Drugs, Drunks, Humor, I'm not as think as you drunk I am, Stupid People

Lileks tweets:

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 13, 2009

“Prince can’t believe she’s going out with Lestat, either.” Lileks. Source (much bigger, better image). Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Dr. Boli continues to flabbergastify, prestidigataterate, and hornswoggaggle.

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 12, 2009

More genius here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

“Who’s the real victim? Big Government.”

The Gormogons Posted on October 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 4, 2009

No idea who these guys are, but this is really good. Any billionaires out there want to do a media buy and put this stuff on radio and TV? GorT, is this one of your side projects you’re funding with … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Humor, Roman Catholics, Socialized Medicine

Tasteless but…

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 27, 2009

…if this kind of stuff hadn’t been created left and right by his fanboys during the campaign, and the president hadn’t been talking himself up as the Redeemer of the Nation, I’d consider it out of bounds. But, since as … Continue reading →

Posted in Adolph Hitler, Barack Obama, Humor

Iä, Ié!

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 27, 2009

John Miller is right, this is awfully funny. (Weird and creepy images may not be work or child-safe. 0/1d2 SAN loss.) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in H.P. Lovecraft, Humor, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu

“Lauxum amis, marish!” she cried.

The Gormogons Posted on September 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 17, 2009

Honestly, your Czaritude, I was just as happy to pass on Etruscan for Business Travellers. I always felt it was a little sleazy. Chapter 14 was “Tarxna After Dark.” Ein thuta lautnitha, fase ti turo.Not-chaste freedwoman, I give you a … Continue reading →

Posted in Etruscan for Business Travellers, Humor, Sex

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1951) [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on September 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 16, 2009

Love it. Update. Backstory courtesy of the Czar & Czesarevich. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, This movie really sucks

The Journalist’s Guide to Firearm Identification

The Gormogons Posted on September 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 16, 2009

By Robb Allen @ Sharp As A Marble. Be sure to check the cute baby picture on his About page and read his proposal story. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Guns, Humor, Media

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

The Gormogons Posted on September 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 15, 2009

Your Volgi will merely reproduce Vince the Film Drunk’s headline: BRUCE CAMPBELL PLAYS ‘BIG PART’ IN SPIDEY 4 Oh hell to the yeah. Wait, what are you still doing here? That was the end of the post. Oh, you thought … Continue reading →

Posted in Bruce Campbell, Humor, The Amazing Spider-Man, This movie really sucks, This TV show really sucks, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Van Jones, we hardly knew you, Part 2.

The Gormogons Posted on September 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 15, 2009

So Confucius’s brother Li Bai, after a few bottles of rice wine, noted that Van Jones left the stage too early, with significant amounts of comedy left unmined. Not least the fact that no one in the blogosphere seems to … Continue reading →

Posted in Czars, Falco (RIP), Humor

Can we all agree this was just rude?

The Gormogons Posted on September 14, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 14, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Ghettoputer’s identity revealed? Part II

The Gormogons Posted on September 11, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 11, 2009

His new name is Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. (Yes, and at least two of his nerdonyms appear to be misspelled.) Now you know. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Gormogonica, Humor, Norway, Stupid People

Gormogons on the Road

The Gormogons Posted on September 10, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 10, 2009

Oprah celebrated her 24th season premiere on Michigan Avenue in Chicago today, along with the Black Eyed Peas. The Gormogons were there. Test for faithful readers with sharp eyes: Can you spot the hidden Gormogon? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Gormogonica, GorT, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Humor, Oprah

Ah, fair Balmer

The Gormogons Posted on September 8, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 8, 2009

Many of us Gormogons hail from Washington, D.C., which maintains a healthy and reciprocal hatred with Baltimore, Sinkhole of the Universe. So we are happy to reprint the following: 4. CRIMINALS! Everyone knows Baltimore is the shit-stained asshole of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Balmer Murlin, Humor

’Puter’s operatives at work

The Gormogons Posted on September 7, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 7, 2009

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Hello Kitty, Humor

Just the facts, Barry.

The Gormogons Posted on September 6, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 6, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, Humor

Taste the rainbow!

The Gormogons Posted on September 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 4, 2009

Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML If you’re not familiar with fmylife.com, spend some time there this weekend. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Skittles-wielding bums

Intermission

The Gormogons Posted on September 3, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 3, 2009

And now a word from the guys at Auto-Tune the News. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor

Iowahawk: Profiling and Harvard

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 28, 2009

Cambridge Police Profiling Still A Grim Reality for Harvard Faculty A—holes Guest Opinionby Professor John Evans Evans-JohnHarvard School of Harvard Faculty A—holes StudiesHarvard University When I first learned of the arrest of my colleague Professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates after … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Harvard, Humor, Iowahawk, Racism

Halloween at the Gormogon Castle

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 23, 2009

Not sure whether this is GorT or the Mandarin answering. -from Abstruse Goose The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Humor

Craig Ferguson: Gormogon?

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Call us, Craig. Not just for this, but for being the first talk-show host in a long time to interview actual writers on his show. And doing an actual talk show where you, you know, talk to people. Via Warming … Continue reading →

Posted in Advertising, Craig Ferguson, Humor, Stupid People, This TV show really sucks

From IowaHawk

The Gormogons Posted on July 21, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 21, 2009

Some of IowaHawk’s very best writing right here. Every paragraph is savory. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor

Kevin Smith in his most dramatic role!*

The Gormogons Posted on July 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 21, 2009

*Not Kevin Smith. Story at Film Drunk. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Kevin Smith, This movie really sucks

Never gonna give you a mosquito, my libido…

The Gormogons Posted on July 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 21, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Music

Where has the sense of mystery in the Church gone?

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 18, 2009

Wonder no more. And, ’Puter, Number Seven appears to actually proclaim “(I Have A) Sword In My Pants.” Via Sally Thomas @ First Things. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam, You Make the Baby Jesus Cry

Ha! Got you, you fiends.

The Gormogons Posted on July 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 16, 2009

Fiji reads the Gormogons. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Fiji, Freemasons, Gormogonica, Humor

Re: We Are All Francis Now

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 14, 2009

Well, at least we’re not Herbert, eh, GorT? Great catch, ’Puter. Of course, while young Barry O apparently listened respectfully to the cabbie, if you said to the government, “don’t touch my stuff!” one suspects he’d say, “Lighten up, Francis.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Star Trek, Stripes

Gutfeld blames the Jews

The Gormogons Posted on July 9, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 9, 2009

Read on to find out what for, but dig this opening: So on some recent radio show hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton, a male caller phoned in with a theory about Michael Jackson’s death. Turns out he didn’t kill … Continue reading →

Posted in Al Sharpton, Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Greg Gutfeld, Humor, Michael Jackson, Sarah Palin

Sad, but…

The Gormogons Posted on July 8, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 8, 2009

Fans Flock to Mourn California, 1849-2009 LOS ANGELES – Millions of fans from around the globe gathered along Sunset Boulevard to pay final respects to California today, as a slow moving funeral procession transported the eccentric superstar state’s remains to … Continue reading →

Posted in (Goin' back to) Cali, California, Decadence, Humor, Iowahawk

“How much more black could this be?”

The Gormogons Posted on July 2, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 2, 2009

And the answer is: “None, none… more black.” Just thought we’d get in the Spinal Tap gag before the rush. Pictured: Christopher Haden-Guest, 5th Baron Haden-Guest, er, Nigel Tufnel. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Physics, Spinal Tap

How ’bout dat ting, dere?

The Gormogons Posted on June 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 27, 2009

CHICAGO – Chicago White Sox front office spokesman Scott Reifert announced today that fans attending a July 11 twin bill versus the Minnesota Twins at US Cellular Field will receive a free commemorative mini-bat, unlimited ten cent Budweiser, and up … Continue reading →

Posted in Bailout, Humor, Iowahawk, Iran, Stimulus Package, Talkin' Baseball

Barack Obama! He’s Come to Save the Day!

The Gormogons Posted on June 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 21, 2009

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, Humor

Aw, we’re flattered.

The Gormogons Posted on June 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 18, 2009

But we rock much harder. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Bones, Gormogonica, Humor, This TV show really sucks

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this message from the President

The Gormogons Posted on June 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 18, 2009

A Special Message to the People of Iran By Barack ObamaPresident of the United States Greetings. As president of United States — or, if you prefer, the Great Satan — I have have been following with keen interest the vigorous … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Humor, Iowahawk, Iran

STOP! GORMOGON!

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 16, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Stop—Hammertime

Stan & Ollie take the party train

The Gormogons Posted on June 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 4, 2009

Lest we get too serious. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Laurel and Hardy, Music

Joe Cocker @ Woodstock, Translated!

The Gormogons Posted on June 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 4, 2009

Too good. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Humor, Joe Cocker, Music

We gotta get this guy for Gormogonicon 2010

The Gormogons Posted on June 3, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 3, 2009

Listen for: “Come on Eileen,” “Don’t You Want Me Baby?” “The Final Countdown,” “Axel F,” “Material Girl,” “Every Breath You Take,” “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Livin’ on a Prayer,” “Never Gonna Give You Up,” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Confucius, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Music, Ragtime, The ’80s

Europasiegestag

The Gormogons Posted on May 8, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 8, 2009

Happy V.E. Day to everyone, and a special thanks to the brave men who liberated Europe. V.E. Day is truly a celebration the heirs of the Allies and the Germans can share, given the spectacular success of the Federal Republic … Continue reading →

Posted in Czech Republic, Germany, Humor, Poland, World War II

What’s wrong with the new Star Trek?

The Gormogons Posted on May 6, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 6, 2009

The Onion is on the case, as the Czar pointed out to me this morning. I’m surprised GorT wasn’t featured. Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As ‘Fun, Watchable’ Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Star Trek

I didn’t know there were girls on the Bears!

The Gormogons Posted on May 6, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 6, 2009

So I saw this sentence in an article on Caps’ young’un Karl Alzner and figured it might need a little editing. “Of course, he texted a photo of himself holding the ball to his girlfriend and Hershey teammate Sami Lepisto.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Hockey, Humor, Washington Capitals

Write your own dialogue

The Gormogons Posted on May 1, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.May 1, 2009

Click to embiggen. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, Humor, Michelle Obama

Mr. Justice de Vere, Lord Oxford

The Gormogons Posted on April 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 28, 2009

Ha! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, John Paul Stevens, Shakespeare

Horatio Comments on the News

The Gormogons Posted on April 28, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 28, 2009

Via here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Swine Flu, This TV show really sucks, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

It’s a “Your mother sews socks that smell” for the 21st century!

The Gormogons Posted on April 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 22, 2009

Via Warming Glow. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, This movie really sucks

The Amazing Catholic Bullshit Generator

The Gormogons Posted on April 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 21, 2009

By John Zmirak. Here’s how The Generator works: Presented with a complicated problem that requires balancing the interests of groups with competing claims, it will draw selectively on Biblical references and Church documents to churn out rhetoric that simultaneously:1) Clouds … Continue reading →

Posted in Amazing Catholic Bullshit Generator, Humor, Liberals, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

St. Joseph, pray for…that guy.

The Gormogons Posted on April 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 17, 2009

One of the little neighbor girls was over here the other day and we were talking about selling houses. She told me that she has an uncle who really needed a house to sell one time, and he’d heard something … Continue reading →

Posted in Body Dump, Humor, St. Joseph

Line of the day

The Gormogons Posted on April 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 16, 2009

James Lileks. Ghettoputer will be cross-stitching this into a sampler and throw pillow, soon to be available in the official Gormogons shop. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Democrats, Humor, Taxes

The Czar’s new hooptie

The Gormogons Posted on April 16, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 16, 2009

Described by the inimitable Reuben Johnson. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Cars, Humor, Russia

For the Czar

The Gormogons Posted on April 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 15, 2009

“Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama’s Double-Homicide” Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama, Humor, Media Bias

The Gormogons will return to the negotiating table.

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2009

This is by no means a capitulation to the Iowegian menace, but rather part of a constructive engagement to encourage them to display more responsible behavior in the future. We’re cautiously optimistic that our package of monster-truck-rally tickets a U-Haul … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Iowahawk

More superfantasticness from Hanzi Smatter

The Gormogons Posted on April 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 4, 2009

“Co-worker’s tattoo” Q: … She thinks it means “Bitch.”… A: What this woman tattooed 贱女 really means “cheap whore”. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Stupid People

Heh.

The Gormogons Posted on April 4, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 4, 2009

Funny, if true. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Advertising, Apple, Humor, Microsoft

Line of the day

The Gormogons Posted on April 3, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 3, 2009

Well no shit [Malawi] turned [Madonna’s contested adoption request] down. Madonna is how villages in Africa picture the Devil. An old bony white woman, pale as a ghost, who swoops down from heaven in the belly of a metal bird … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Madonna (the skank not the BVM), Malawi

Post navigation

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Visitor’s Guide

About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

Scribble, scribble…

To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

De Gormogonorum Mysteriis

Archives

  • July 2024
  • July 2023
  • February 2023
  • August 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • January 2000
  • September 1999
  • July 1998
  • May 1998
  • September 1997
  • August 1997
  • July 1997
  • February 1997
  • September 1996
  • August 1996
  • September 1995
  • May 1995
  • July 1994
  • April 1994
  • March 1994
  • February 1994
  • October 1993
  • March 1992
  • May 1990
  • September 1988
  • December 1986
  • September 1981
  • September 1979
  • May 1977
  • July 1976
  • May 1972
  • December 1970
  • August 1970
©2025 - The Gormogons - Weaver Xtreme Theme
↑
Manage Cookie Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}