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Anti-Climatic

The Gormogons Posted on May 28, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The great and wonderous Borepatch writes into the Czar (and jeez, we hope we had his permission to reprint this; ah well, not much we can do about it now) to say: Your outstanding post covered the subject of Dr. … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Climate Change, Climatology, Global Cooling, Global Warming, Mailbag, Meteorology, Phoney Science, Science

Mailbag – And a five and a six…

The Gormogons Posted on May 21, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Loyal minion Scott O, who you can read at his blog called ‘Thoughts from The Corner Office,’ writes in: Good Doctor,  There is a fifth possibility for Mr. Obama to oppose less government spending in Europe, which is closely tied … Continue reading →

Posted in Brave New World, Council on Foreign Relations, Dr. J., Mailbag, Minions, Trilateral Commision

Mailbag – Nebraska Nowledge

The Gormogons Posted on May 19, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative MC2 writes in regarding Dr. J.’s missive on the Nebraska senate race: Dr J,  Hopefully I can put your mind at ease regarding the Nebraska Senate race, having lived here and watched it fairly closely this spring.  It was … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Nebraska

Love’s Labors Bucked

The Gormogons Posted on May 15, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar will not deny he gets great email. Take this message from the Burgher of Bong. Bong is a real place, and it is just to the South of our Castle. The Burgher came to visit us once, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Gay Marriage, Gays, James Buchanan, Mailbag, One Term President, President, Same-Sex Marriage

Where Has He Been, Anyway?

The Gormogons Posted on April 28, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, here is a total surprise. Most of us thought Uncle Jay walked off the edge of the world, but here he is, writing us this message: Most Dread & Awful, I’ve been quite busy of late, and due to … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Mailbag, Uncle Jay

JAB Delivers Another Right Cross

The Gormogons Posted on April 28, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Yes…yes, of course we had everything to do with it! And so says JAB: Dear Your Czarness: Dang, you fellers in the Castle do work most swiftly! I don’t know if a time-traveling trick or a mind-control-ray was deployed, or … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Big Government, Farmers, Government Control, Mailbag, Mitt Romney

Mailbag – Moon Blues Edition

The Gormogons Posted on April 19, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative BG writes regarding the mothballing of our space program: Dear Dr. J.,  Fifty years ago, President Kennedy promised we would send a man to the moon and return him safely to Earth, before the decade was out. Nobody scoffed … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Moon

Postoŝako: The Esperantists return

The Gormogons Posted on April 17, 2012 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

As is well known (indeed, advertised at left), the Gormogons are working tirelessly—though obviously none too effectively—for the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, for reasons that are largely above you minions’ security clearance. The Czar suggests one here, but is he … Continue reading →

Posted in Esperanto, Gormogonica, Mailbag

Mailbag – Potter-gressive Edition

The Gormogons Posted on April 15, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers,  Dr. J. has received a pair of missives related to his recent post on Dolores Umbridge as the fictional figurehead of the Progressive Movement. The Czar sent this interoffice memo via owl: To: Dr. J.  From: The Czar  … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Harry Potter, Mailbag, Progressives, The Czar of Muscovy

Mostly Non-Canadiana

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Our awesome number one Canadian reader (and most likely the number one Canadian, when we finally take over the world) submits some more thoughts: Mighty Czar, America’s most recent manufactured-outrage race kerfuffle (ie. the white-Hispanic man killing the black-black teen … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Canada, Mailbag, Racism, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag: Sophistry and Puppetry

The Gormogons Posted on April 4, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

We dig deep down into the mailbag, past the raw otter meat, the queen scorpion egg case, and seven offers for high-interest credit cards, and find two addressed to us. Protagoras has gone emo, writes KH—if you have lost your … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Bullshit racism accusations, Facebook, Mailbag, Main Stream Media, Media, Race, Racism, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag – Picture Pages

The Gormogons Posted on April 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

This mailbag has quite a rash of pictures associated with it. Consequently, Dr. J. had to insert some filler to get them below his mailbag icon. Myrmidon Wrangler DT Writes: Dr. the J,  I can handle the OWS crowd. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Broccoli, Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, Gormogon Operatives, Humor, Mailbag, Star Wars

Guest Post: Health Insurance I Need

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

BG writes a short essay so perfect that the Czar presents it in its entirety. Great Axe-Wielding Czar – You state, “Obamacare provides nothing that the majority of Americans want; it provides—at great cost—a handful of dark and unpleasant items … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Government Run Healthcare, Health care, Mailbag, ObamaCare

Welfare Queens And DT’s Urge To Kill

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

DT writes in: Oh Your Czary Czariness, Someone peripherally connected to my family is your typical welfare queen. She’s been on Section 8 (free housing) since she popped out her first pup at age7 or 8 (I may be off … Continue reading →

Posted in Czar-Related Firing Squads and Summary Executions, Mailbag, Welfare

Still More Ron Paul; This Time, The Good

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Stout-hearted reader JB writes in to prove that most Ron Paul supporters are not like yesterday’s. Indeed, this “more rational Ron Paul supporter” easily writes in complete sentences. Actually, the note is very good: O Mighty Czar! Yes, Ron Paul … Continue reading →

Posted in Drugs, Federal Reserve, Mailbag, Ron Paul

Poster Children

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

As Ron Paul voters slowly realize that their hope for legalized drugs might have fared better with Buddy Roemer, they gnaw in their desperation. As we have seen many times, they lash out in their Libertarian intolerance at anything that … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Ron Paul

It’s Dangerous…

The Gormogons Posted on March 15, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

…to jump in on inter-Gormogon activities.  However, Reader SO decided to test the waters so to speak regarding this post with the following: Dear GorTechie, I noticed that the attachment on the latest Interoffice Memo was in the Excel 97-2003 … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Mailbag, Microsoft

우편 মেইল פּאָסט пошта poçt ταχυδρομείο 郵件 پست փոստ

The Gormogons Posted on March 11, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

First up, a great line from Operative ME on Fast and Furious. I was very pleased to see your original post concerning Fast & Furious because it jibed very closely with my own thoughts. It’s very hard to talk to … Continue reading →

Posted in Africa, African Colonialism, Eric Holder, Mailbag, Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons

Aww, Gush!

The Gormogons Posted on March 10, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

One of the more intellectually sound guys (and someone with whom you would never want to debate) is of course I’m Not Herzog. The Czar says this chiefly because he said some very nice things. Dear Czar, Normally I would … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, The Czar of Muscovy

Mailbag – Minion Mail edition

The Gormogons Posted on March 9, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Our Castle Archivist @MBernadetteE, who you should follow on twitter and read here, and here, writes in: Dr. J.,  Sir, I must commend you. This might be the best one-liner I’ve seen in writing recently.  “Lastly, abortion is the sacrament … Continue reading →

Posted in Friend of Gormogons, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Minions, Progressives

Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on March 8, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT, Sr writes in with the following as the primary in our state is just under a month away: First of all, I am a fiscal, paternal, and social conservative.  I am principled in my beliefs, but am pragmatic and … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Rick Santorum

More Obama vs. The Second

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Operative ME of AZ wrote the Czar a letter regarding his early hours screed about choosing between Obama and the Second Amendment. The Czar expected email, but this response was outstanding and perfectly crafted. Lest you think the Czar is … Continue reading →

Posted in Arizona, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Liberal Fascism, Mailbag, Obama Administration, Second Amendment

Mailbag – Tennessee RINO edition.

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

JAB writes in from the Doublewide: Please pardon my inattention as I’ve let my duties lapse… {bad minion…} However, it has come to my attention that Mr.”Mittens” Romney pretends to be a fan of the late Mr. Davey Crockett.  Embarassingly … Continue reading →

Posted in Davy Crockett, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Revisionist History, Tennessee

Mailbag – Two Steelheads are better than one Fluke

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative BG writes in: A couple of points: 1) GorT, you suggest, “…why not ask the male involved to contribute to the contraception?” Indeed. It occurs to me that if Ms. Fluke is relying solely on the Pill, she shouldn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Birth Control, Dr. J., Dr. Seuss, Gormogon Operatives, GorT, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, Mailbag

Mailbag: In Which All Hail Our Brilliance

The Gormogons Posted on March 3, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Operative MC etches this secret message into a single oatmeal flake and slipped it into the Czar’s breakfast. It turned up the following morning. A STFU gun!Yeah, the “Japanese” invented it, wink wink nudge nudge, say no more. I love … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Democrats, Gormogonica, Gormogons, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

Mailbag – The Pancetta Menace

The Gormogons Posted on March 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative DT takes a break from Myrmidon Wrangling to write in: Doc, I think the Estudiante Medico Pequeño is on to something. That planet’s not just meat – that’s sweet, sweet bacon (pbuh)!  That makes me curious, though – as … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, pancetta, Star Wars

Here Kitty, Kitty…!

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Blue Sun respectfully submits a video nearly guaranteed to have ‘Puter busting a move, peeling off all his clothes, and prancing around the weeds at the Castle entrance until Sleestak has to get the darts again. And to be fair, … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Hello Kitty, Mailbag, Minions

More Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT had a flurry of emails and is slowly working through them… First up is from IT Operative B: Thanks for the recent Liberal Conundrums posts.  My personal favorite conundrum is the tension between zero-population-growth and the cradle-to-grave social welfare … Continue reading →

Posted in Liberal Idiots, Mailbag

Mailbag – Potpourri

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, the one and only Borepatch writes in. Do you read him every day? We do. He writes regarding the Lil Med Student’s concussion. It reminds me of the time that #2 Son had to go to the Emergency … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag

Mailbag – Green Energy

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Operative BG writes in after jotting a bunch of notes on a chalkboard, brushing off the dust and scratching his head: None of the stories of my tax dollars being wasted on bad green investments surprises me. But when you … Continue reading →

Posted in Green Energy, Mailbag

Mailbag – French Parenting vs. Freedom Parenting

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Ok, ok, Dr. J. is still playing catch up on his mailbag, but our writers make for entertaining reading. Indeed, Dr. J.’s mailbag from last week got a shout out from his buddy Jamie Jeffords at the Eye of Polyphemus … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Mailbag, menage a trois, Parenting is hard

Dr. (KN)J on Teachers on Parents on Teachers

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dr. (KN)J, our Royal Mathematician, writes in: O Most Dread and Noble, etc. If my recent conversations with public primary and secondary teachers are any indication, you have left a “blame arrow” out of your diagram. All the aforementioned teachers … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Mailbag, Teacher Unions, Teachers

Mailbag – Phantom Menace Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received a couple of missives regarding his post last week regarding The Phantom Menace in 3D. The first is from none other than Merlin, himself. You can read him at Merlin’s Musings. And you should check in daily. … Continue reading →

Posted in Linguistics, Mailbag, Star Wars

J.A.B.: Live, From The Double-Wide

The Gormogons Posted on February 21, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

‘Puter’s been remiss in responding to his email. His fellow Gormogons ascribe his delinquent tendencies to a combination of illiteracy and procrastination. They’re correct. ‘Puter’s been meaning to give frequent correspondent J.A.B. a little more face time around here, as … Continue reading →

Posted in Americans, Mailbag, Minions, Southerners

Mailbag: Boom and Doom

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar has sure been busy lately, and has fallen a bit behind in his mail. First up chronologically is DT, who lined up six cesium atoms to spell out the following email: Your Mustachioed Magnificence, I just read about … Continue reading →

Posted in Astronomy, Borepatch, EPA, Mailbag

Mailbag – Dr. Sally Field edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative and Myrmidon Wrangler DT (not to be confused with Operative R2DT) writes in: Oh Noble Hoopy Frood Dr. J,  As you are no doubt aware, Medicare is starting to use the results of patient surveys in calculating reimbursement for … Continue reading →

Posted in Bronies, Gormogon Operatives, Government Run Healthcare, Health care, Mailbag, My Little Pony, Pop Psychology, Sith Lord, Valentine's Day

Mailbag – FU Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. has been crazy busy and the mail has been piling up. He apologizes and will empty the bag as quickly as he can, but here is a quick hit for our readers. And FU means follow up, not … Continue reading →

Posted in Charity, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag

Triple Mail Bag

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Minion ScottO writes in with a tuple of questions spread across three Gormogons: Gentlemen and overlords, Your 3 posts inspired questions, so you get a 3-fer email. First, GorTechie: I recognize the idea of Federal laws superseding State, but if … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Constitutional Law, Dr. J., HHS, Mailbag, Volgi

Mailbag – Chalk Trauma edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Our Royal Exchequer, SW writes in: I’ve enjoyed your musings over the state of education both because I often agree and because my daughters are teachers. One of them, currently a professor teaching teachers has a perspective you may want … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Gormogon Operatives, Intergenerational Warfare, Mailbag

Mailbag: Three for Three

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, we empty out the mailbag and it fills back up. You people are awesome. The Czar received no less than three most honorable messages. First up is our official archivist. What a delight she is! As you know, we … Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Boomer, Boomers Are To Blame, First Amendment, Mailbag, Roman Catholics, The Obama Amateur Hour, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Mailbag: No, Tim…

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons, that other Dr. J, writes into the Czar. And this caught him by surprise, because the Czar looked up and down the length of this email and could not isolate a single instance where … Continue reading →

Posted in Black America, Mailbag, Race, Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons

Mailbag – How Things Work – Chemo Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. has received a bunch of email of late, so the next few posts will be delving into the mailbag. As each is a different subject, they all will go up in their own due time. Hopefully interspersed with … Continue reading →

Posted in cancer, Drugs, Mailbag, Minions

Mailbag – Satan Whispers…

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Dr. J. received this email from the one and so far, only, the Great and Mighty Borepatch. We hope you read him everyday, just as we do! And by hope, we mean, “You will read Borepatch everyday…” He … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Borepatch, Dr. J., Mailbag

Mailbag: African? American?

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Folks have been writing in on the Czar’s distaste for the term “African-American.” And for pretty much the same reason: it diminishes who Americans are. N or S writes in: The difficulties inherent in the term “African American” were brought … Continue reading →

Posted in Black America, Mailbag, Race

Mailbag – EMTALA edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative DT writes in: RE:”if they don’t want to pay for practices they consider immoral, they should stick to serving their own co-religionists rather than the wider public”  Dr. the J, EMTALA has rendered even that unlikely option impossible, hasn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, ObamaCare

Mailbag – Cancer devours from within…edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

This missive arrived by bicycle courier from Operative JS regarding yesterday’s required reading assignment: Dear Dr. J,  I don’t think you’ve been there long enough to tell us what to read. YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!!1!  God Bless, J S  … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Generations, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogonica, Mailbag, Progressives

Still More on the Ever-Exciting Tax Subsidies Question

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Remember 1000 years ago when the Czar took on the task of reading the entire draft ObamaCare bill? He didn’t receive nearly as much email on that as he is on this subject of film tax subsidies. Amazed and MC … Continue reading →

Posted in Bailout, Economics, Free Market Economy, Mailbag, Movies, Taxes, The Czar Reads HR 3200

Real Deal

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

MC is dying to learn more about tax subsidies. Thanks for the amplification, but I’m still not getting it. The government is still picking winners and losers, and in this case the winner is the film industry. The short-term benefit … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, Mailbag, Michigan, Movies, Property Taxes, Taxes

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

MC has recently returned from the Antarctic, where he tells weird tales of finding a ruined city of giants, with enormous penguins, strange carvings on the wall hinting at terrible events in our ancient past, as well as a Caribou … Continue reading →

Posted in Government spending, Mailbag, Movies, Taxes

Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on January 30, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT got two messages over the weekend, I was having too much fun to work on them until today so here we go. First up is from operative KH: Estimable GorTechie, The only way I would go along with point … Continue reading →

Posted in GorT, Mailbag, The Obama Amateur Hour

Mailbag: Folks Cater to the Czar’s Whims

The Gormogons Posted on January 26, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

As the Czar predicted (some might say begged for), emails have been flooding in (some might say two arrived) about the Czar’s tribute to Kolchak: The Night Stalker television series. ScottO, the @AgStateSense, writes in: O Great and All-Knowing Czar, … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Television, This TV show really sucks

Mailbag – Arizona Popery Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 26, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative ME writes in regarding Dr. J.’s post on the new HHS policies yesterday.  Dear Dr. J.,  Excellent post on Catholicism, conscience and contraception. When I first heard of Secretary Sibelius’s proposal to bring to deny religious-affiliated organizations such as … Continue reading →

Posted in Freedom, Gormogon Operatives, HHS, Mailbag, The Obama Amateur Hour, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Mailbag – Heart plug edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 24, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

No, not that kind of heart plug. Operative R2DT writes in on thermal printer paper: Dear Dr. J.,  Ok, I admit it. The subject was just to get your attention, but it is related to the purpose of the email.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Cardiovascular Disease, Charity, David Lynch, Dr. J., Dune, Mailbag

Yep. Absolutely Yep.

The Gormogons Posted on January 24, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Operative CN writes in with a quip so great the Czar laughed at its brilliance! Regarding your recent article, “Isn’t There Anything Bad We Can Find In This?”, here’s the headline as would be reported by gun control groups: “Teen … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Mailbag

Mailbag – Diocesan Assessment Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 24, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received this missive from the Holy Roman Emperor, aka Operative HRE, via Papal bull. Seriously, it was a bull with one of them bunny ear hats. He writes: Dear Dr. Jay,  I read your entry, and I really … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Holy Roman Emperor, Mailbag, Mitt Romney

Mailbag: Uhhh…..What?

The Gormogons Posted on January 22, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Ambisinistral, who incidentally is a great dancer, is heading up an interesting project in which he places leftists in Skinner boxes individual fully-enclosed wooden terraria. He takes a moment to write the Czar about a comment we made. “Rick Santorum … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Election, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum

Our Reslient System

The Gormogons Posted on January 21, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Your second screed in a row from JAB and the kindly folks at the Doublewide, who seem to spend a lot of time chucking pebbles at cans set up on fences and luaghing to themselves: Your Czarness: What–you’ve watched another … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Republicans

Mailbag: Rusty Nails, Playing Cards and Taxes

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

JAB writes in from the Double-wide: Dear Mr. Dr. J:  re: “Safe is good (i.e. no protruding glass or rusty nails)…”  Why no rusty nails? Experience is a great teacher, isn’t it? And besides, the young’uns these days are vaccinated … Continue reading →

Posted in Board Games, Cards, Dr. J., Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Taxes

Interoffice Mail II: The Wrath of Dr. J.

The Gormogons Posted on January 18, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

To: The Czar From: Dr. J. Re: The Czar is not one of those high-school-spent-in-the-locker types like Dr. J, and generally loathes science fiction… Dear The Czar: Dr. J. will have you know he was considered quite cool in high … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, Mailbag, SOPA, Star Trek, The Czar of Muscovy

Eye of Newt

The Gormogons Posted on January 17, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

MC writes in a binary palindromes sometimes, with a letter starting 0101 but tending in 1010. Very clever. And not only did Lincoln know someone named Kennedy, but Lincoln knew a Hanks, while Kennedy was known to sneeze into a … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Borepatch, Election, Firearms, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Mailbag, Newt Gingrich

Mailbag – Spacemail

The Gormogons Posted on January 16, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received this missive from Operative D.F.  via subspace carrierwave: Good post today on the Lil Med Student’s interest in mythology. Here on Q’onos, my little warrior has gone crazy for the Rick Riordan books featuring Greek mythology. He’s totally … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag

Whalebag

The Gormogons Posted on January 16, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Secret Gormogon Operative ERC, who hasn’t written in for a while, sent the Czar a single letter: a lower-case b. This of course translates to: Your Czarness: I am well aware that the the vestigial legs of whales and other … Continue reading →

Posted in Evolution, Mailbag

Mailbag: Paper or Plastic?

The Gormogons Posted on January 12, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT loves him some email.  So here is a great one penned by Operative ME, who is completely in the bag for the Gormogons.  Dammit, that pun chip is going haywire, maybe the Mandarin can give it a swift kick. … Continue reading →

Posted in Liberal Idiots, Mailbag, Montgomery County, Taxes

Mailbag: Family Game Night- Operative Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 10, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. was glad to see that his post from yesterday resonated with somebody. Operative KH sent us this missive via Ouija board: Good evening, Doctor,  Your board game post struck a chord with me. My late father taught me … Continue reading →

Posted in Board Games, Games People Play, Mailbag, Wargames

Obama: For or Against Same-Sex Marriage?

The Gormogons Posted on January 10, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

BG lined up atoms, using incredible amounts of energy to get them into an Arial font, to spell out the following message: You state, “Obama is adamantly opposed to gay marriage. Where are his questioners?” What do you base that … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Gay Marriage, Gays, Mailbag, Obama Administration, Same-Sex Marriage

Satellite Mail

The Gormogons Posted on January 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar is late on some mail. The first email? You are totally on your own, but Mandarin might want to roll back the rum portions he hands out to the crew up on the space station, as Nightfly demonstrates: … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Satellite Technology

Mailbag: Can’t get there from here edition…

The Gormogons Posted on January 5, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

As if right on cue, our esteemed Royal Mathematician writes in regarding Dr. J.’s post yesterday: A most happy New Year to all Gormogons whose calendar-origin-of-choice has recently passed, and general seasonally-appropriate greetings to the others:  A quick word about … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Math class is hard, Republicans

Last Email of 2011? Twas a Good One.

The Gormogons Posted on December 31, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

LittleRed1 sent the Czar an unbroken paragraph (but not all in upper case) regarding the Virginia GOP, whom by now you know are evil bastards. LittleRed1 writes (with our edits): Oh great and powerful Czar, As your mightiness no doubt … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Mailbag, Virginia, Voting

AH on Independent Voters

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

AH writes in with what the Czar thinks is absolutely polished, spot-on thinking. Please read this carefully, because he hits all the notes the Czar would be aiming for in future essays: Dread Czar, Liked your piece last night. It … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Friedrich Hayek, Mailbag, Voting

Satellite Mail UPDATED

The Gormogons Posted on December 27, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Who disturbs the Czar’s presence amidst Plants vs. Zombies? Why, two quick emails on Hexagon. The first is actually an interoffice from GorT, which when compiled says that he had a family member work on that very project, and said … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Math class is hard, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Satellite Technology, Space

If Not Gingrich or Romney, Then Who?

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

JAB replies: Your Czarness, Thanks for showing restraint and not banning me from the Castle bar, at least not yet. Your post “The Enemy of the Good” provides excellent reasons for voting for anyone but Obama. However, you completely misjudge … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Borepatch, Conservatism, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

The Enemy of the Good

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dr. J reports that: Seven in 10 Americans say they can’t wait for the presidential campaign to be over, while a minority of 26% can’t wait for it to begin. At 75%, residents of key 2012 swing states are even … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Borepatch, Election, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

Poŝtosako: Mizerikorda aŭ spionado?

The Gormogons Posted on December 15, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

Confucius was enjoying a breakfast of one of the thousand-year eggs he put aside on his fifteen-hundredth birthday when one of our Tcho-Tcho footmen truckled in and, properly averting his eyes, kowtowed and presented Confucius with this letter which had … Continue reading →

Posted in Esperanto, Mailbag, The Villain Zamenhof

Newtmail

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Despite the media’s stunned disbelief, Americans continue to be interested in conservative politics in increasing numbers. Almost like peer pressure is proving less effective. Two missives reflect this. First is Operative TG, who heads up our Counter-Insurgency Force, and who … Continue reading →

Posted in Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Gnip Gnop, Mailbag, Newt Gingrich

Mongol Hordes at the Castle Gates? Sure!

The Gormogons Posted on December 5, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Borepatch, whom we read every day, writes your Czar: Man, I don’t know where you find those [Help Wanted ads] (must be a local Alt-Weekly that’s not on the ‘Net), but they were filled with win. BTW, Uncle Jay says … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Castle Gormogon, Mailbag, Uncle Jay

Answering the Call

The Gormogons Posted on December 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Answering the mail call, that is. The Czar has four unread messages. First up is Operative FJR, who etched this onto a small grain of rice and slipped it into the Czar’s Burmese Beef: I do a lot of outdoor … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Firearms, Guns, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Hunting, Mailbag, Shootin' Critters Dayud, Video games

Mailbag – Marching Band Edition

The Gormogons Posted on December 3, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative MS writes in: A college or high-school marching band typically plays raucous, low-brow music. But there is no reason why this has to be. For a more highbrow half-time entertainment at you football games, switch from pop music to … Continue reading →

Posted in Beer, Mailbag, Music, The Czar of Muscovy

Bluesun

The Gormogons Posted on November 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar admits he was surprised. Usually when you write something scathing about Ron Paul, you get mail. This gem was not what he expected. Dear Mr. Dread and Powerful The Czar, In regards to Ron Paul, Attack Cartoons a … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Ron Paul

The Mandarin Takes A Question…

The Gormogons Posted on November 18, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin received the following inquiry from operative D.T. regarding this post on the recent EU decision regarding the health benefits of water: Mighty Booter of Guts: Does this mean they’ve outlawed homeopathy? Well operative D.T. if that is really … Continue reading →

Posted in Boot in the Gut, Gay Marriage, Gay Pride, Gays, Homosexuality, Mailbag

Mail For the Czar

The Gormogons Posted on November 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

One of our most secret and ancient of operatives lives in the distant Nepalese cliffs, where he works on eldritch deeds most foul. His name is “Ken,” because that’s what everyone calls him. Dread Czar, I saw the clip of … Continue reading →

Posted in Anarchists, CBS News, Mailbag, Newt Gingrich

Mailbag – Whoville 90210

The Gormogons Posted on November 10, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, A couple more missives have come in. The first is from Operative FJR, who writes in from a secret mission to the North Pole to get ‘Puter switched from the Naughty to the Nice list: Dr. J.,  Thank … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Mailbag, Merry Christmas, Tax Increase

Final Thoughts on Paterno

The Gormogons Posted on November 10, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

SMack writes in: Sir Czar, Don’t you understand that if cardinals coached national championships we’d have forgiven them all too and gone on to praise them for all their years of wonderful coaching and saying a couple of years of … Continue reading →

Posted in College, College Athletes, Czar-Related Firing Squads and Summary Executions, Dr. J., Mailbag, Sexual Predators, Stupid People

Mailbag -Stentastic Fan Mail

The Gormogons Posted on November 9, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received a couple of missives regarding his recent Medical Roundup. The first is from Operative Æ Dr. J,  Jonah Goldberg directed me on to The Gormogons a several months ago and I have been a loyal subject since. … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Mailbag, Vaccines

Mailbag – Drug Shortage Edition

The Gormogons Posted on November 5, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J.’s had a busy week folks. There is a news story that has been percolating in the background for months that Dr. J. has been trying to get his hands around, and finally he has gotten to where he … Continue reading →

Posted in Government Run Healthcare, I want a new drug, Mailbag, One Term President

Your Mandarin Gets A Proposition…

The Gormogons Posted on October 28, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

One of your Mandarin’s orbital satellites intercepted the follow message: O Fearsome and Fashionable Mandarin, I read Confucius’s article about the informal Presidential preference poll. When I read that you had created the T.E.D. and were trying to sell it, … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Military, Military aid, The Mandarin

Incoming Message From Durandal

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Clever reader JA writes in to say: Re: the Marathon screen cap in a recent post. BEST. GAME. EVER. Yeah, don’t we know it. See kiddies, in the days before Halo, there was Marathon. Indeed, attentive players of the Halo … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Hello Kitty, Mailbag, Video games

Mailbag – Republicandiatopenia Edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, There was quite a bit of tweeting in reaction to Dr. J.’s thoughts on Herman Cain. But Operative JAB writes in from the doublewide: Dear Mr. Dr. J.: I wouldn’t waste a lot of time-time-time noodling on the … Continue reading →

Posted in 9-9-9, Herman Cain, Mailbag, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry

Best Abstract Ever?

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dr. (KN)J provides the Czar a refreshing look as to how science really works. Or should work. He provides an actual scientific paper, which you can read by clicking here. It’s a PDF, so you may need to save the … Continue reading →

Posted in Mad science, Mailbag, Physics, Science

More on Neutrinos! (or, Moron Neutrinos!)

The Gormogons Posted on October 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

You know, we rarely talk about our Spaceflight Practical Jokes Department, which is too bad because they’re doing some really cool stuff over there. Funny—dreadfully funny stuff, but still cool. And Nightfly (who doesn’t wear nearly as weird a costume … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Physics, Science

JAB’s Modest Proposal

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Your Czarness: Judging by the recent posts, it seems as though you residents of the Castle have been much irritated by the Occupy Wall St. crowd and their kinfolk The 99 Percenters. Well, I think I may have hit upon … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Occupy Wall Street, Stupid People, What is to be done?

Mailbag- Puter’s sack edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 8, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

A couple of letters came in in response to Dr. J.’s post regarding ADHD. First, Operative FJR writes in: Dr.J, Read your list of ADHD symptoms and realized I don’t know anyone in the construction industry that doesn’t exhibit those … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Health care, Mailbag, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Mailbag: That was F%^# fast, edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 5, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gormogon Operative GD writes in on one of Zeus’s lightning bolts regarding Dr J.’s post: “Like Mussolini, and Kennedy…” Yeah, since writing his post, Dr. J. couldn’t get that song out of his head either. Dr. J. liked that song. … Continue reading →

Posted in I want my MTV, Mailbag, One Term President

Ken, Taxes, and Social Engineering

The Gormogons Posted on September 29, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Ken, who insists on the ridiculous pseudonym of “Ken,” is kind enough to add to our recent thoughts on taxation. Ken, unedited and without further ado: Good morning, Dread Czar, I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on what … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Property Taxes, Tax Increase, Taxes

Jedmo Vents

The Gormogons Posted on September 24, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, we each received a typewritten manifesto in our inboxes, smelling of pine and mountain cabin. The others kind of looked at it, we all looked at each other, and then looked back at the document. And the Mandarin said, … Continue reading →

Posted in Black America, Death Penalty, Mailbag, Race, Racism

Mailbag: Immune System Edition

The Gormogons Posted on September 20, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J.’s vaccine post struck a nerve or two (Nerve, Artery, Vein, NOT Vein, Artery, Nerve, got it). Our Myrmidon Wrangler DT writes in: Hey Doc, Great post, and it inspired me to post a big “Eff Jenny McCarthy” post … Continue reading →

Posted in Health care, Mailbag

Urological Positivism

The Gormogons Posted on September 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar wonders why he sometimes gets ‘Puter’s mail. Batter up. Mighty Czar, I can’t think of an adequate way to introduce to this link. It quite simply just needs to be read. Glorious. A few thoughts spring to mind: … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Canada, Clint Eastwood, Mailbag

Maibag: Math Hysteria

The Gormogons Posted on September 5, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Once in a while, the Czar says something he believes will generate a lot of grief, and is surprised to find people agree with him. The Czar made such a comment the other day, and has received a couple of … Continue reading →

Posted in Evolution, Liberals, Mailbag, Math class is hard, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin

Mailbag – Just Desert Edition

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative ME writes in regarding Dr. J.’s sufferings at the hands of Rebecca Roberts: Dr. J., As a once and future resident of Arizona, I thank you for the link to NPR segment with Ms. Roberts and the caller from … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Mailbag, night of the comet, NPR, zombie apocalypse

World Youth Day Report

The Gormogons Posted on August 30, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Gormogon Lawn Darts and Drinking Club chaplain writes in to explain where he has been for the last couple of weeks. Also, the club only has two members: him and ‘Puter. Well, I had a great time at World Youth … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Roman Catholics, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

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