Anti-Climatic
The great and wonderous Borepatch writes into the Czar (and jeez, we hope we had his permission to reprint this; ah well, not much we can do about it now) to say: Your outstanding post covered the subject of Dr. … Continue reading →
The great and wonderous Borepatch writes into the Czar (and jeez, we hope we had his permission to reprint this; ah well, not much we can do about it now) to say: Your outstanding post covered the subject of Dr. … Continue reading →
Loyal minion Scott O, who you can read at his blog called ‘Thoughts from The Corner Office,’ writes in: Good Doctor, There is a fifth possibility for Mr. Obama to oppose less government spending in Europe, which is closely tied … Continue reading →
Operative MC2 writes in regarding Dr. J.’s missive on the Nebraska senate race: Dr J, Hopefully I can put your mind at ease regarding the Nebraska Senate race, having lived here and watched it fairly closely this spring. It was … Continue reading →
The Czar will not deny he gets great email. Take this message from the Burgher of Bong. Bong is a real place, and it is just to the South of our Castle. The Burgher came to visit us once, and … Continue reading →
Well, here is a total surprise. Most of us thought Uncle Jay walked off the edge of the world, but here he is, writing us this message: Most Dread & Awful, I’ve been quite busy of late, and due to … Continue reading →
Yes…yes, of course we had everything to do with it! And so says JAB: Dear Your Czarness: Dang, you fellers in the Castle do work most swiftly! I don’t know if a time-traveling trick or a mind-control-ray was deployed, or … Continue reading →
Operative BG writes regarding the mothballing of our space program: Dear Dr. J., Fifty years ago, President Kennedy promised we would send a man to the moon and return him safely to Earth, before the decade was out. Nobody scoffed … Continue reading →
As is well known (indeed, advertised at left), the Gormogons are working tirelessly—though obviously none too effectively—for the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, for reasons that are largely above you minions’ security clearance. The Czar suggests one here, but is he … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Dr. J. has received a pair of missives related to his recent post on Dolores Umbridge as the fictional figurehead of the Progressive Movement. The Czar sent this interoffice memo via owl: To: Dr. J. From: The Czar … Continue reading →
Our awesome number one Canadian reader (and most likely the number one Canadian, when we finally take over the world) submits some more thoughts: Mighty Czar, America’s most recent manufactured-outrage race kerfuffle (ie. the white-Hispanic man killing the black-black teen … Continue reading →
We dig deep down into the mailbag, past the raw otter meat, the queen scorpion egg case, and seven offers for high-interest credit cards, and find two addressed to us. Protagoras has gone emo, writes KHif you have lost your … Continue reading →
This mailbag has quite a rash of pictures associated with it. Consequently, Dr. J. had to insert some filler to get them below his mailbag icon. Myrmidon Wrangler DT Writes: Dr. the J, I can handle the OWS crowd. I … Continue reading →
BG writes a short essay so perfect that the Czar presents it in its entirety. Great Axe-Wielding Czar – You state, “Obamacare provides nothing that the majority of Americans want; it provides—at great cost—a handful of dark and unpleasant items … Continue reading →
DT writes in: Oh Your Czary Czariness, Someone peripherally connected to my family is your typical welfare queen. She’s been on Section 8 (free housing) since she popped out her first pup at age7 or 8 (I may be off … Continue reading →
Stout-hearted reader JB writes in to prove that most Ron Paul supporters are not like yesterdays. Indeed, this more rational Ron Paul supporter easily writes in complete sentences. Actually, the note is very good: O Mighty Czar! Yes, Ron Paul … Continue reading →
As Ron Paul voters slowly realize that their hope for legalized drugs might have fared better with Buddy Roemer, they gnaw in their desperation. As we have seen many times, they lash out in their Libertarian intolerance at anything that … Continue reading →
…to jump in on inter-Gormogon activities. However, Reader SO decided to test the waters so to speak regarding this post with the following: Dear GorTechie, I noticed that the attachment on the latest Interoffice Memo was in the Excel 97-2003 … Continue reading →
First up, a great line from Operative ME on Fast and Furious. I was very pleased to see your original post concerning Fast & Furious because it jibed very closely with my own thoughts. It’s very hard to talk to … Continue reading →
One of the more intellectually sound guys (and someone with whom you would never want to debate) is of course Im Not Herzog. The Czar says this chiefly because he said some very nice things. Dear Czar, Normally I would … Continue reading →
Our Castle Archivist @MBernadetteE, who you should follow on twitter and read here, and here, writes in: Dr. J., Sir, I must commend you. This might be the best one-liner I’ve seen in writing recently. “Lastly, abortion is the sacrament … Continue reading →
GorT, Sr writes in with the following as the primary in our state is just under a month away: First of all, I am a fiscal, paternal, and social conservative. I am principled in my beliefs, but am pragmatic and … Continue reading →
Operative ME of AZ wrote the Czar a letter regarding his early hours screed about choosing between Obama and the Second Amendment. The Czar expected email, but this response was outstanding and perfectly crafted. Lest you think the Czar is … Continue reading →
JAB writes in from the Doublewide: Please pardon my inattention as I’ve let my duties lapse… {bad minion…} However, it has come to my attention that Mr.”Mittens” Romney pretends to be a fan of the late Mr. Davey Crockett. Embarassingly … Continue reading →
Operative BG writes in: A couple of points: 1) GorT, you suggest, “…why not ask the male involved to contribute to the contraception?” Indeed. It occurs to me that if Ms. Fluke is relying solely on the Pill, she shouldn’t … Continue reading →
Operative MC etches this secret message into a single oatmeal flake and slipped it into the Czars breakfast. It turned up the following morning. A STFU gun!Yeah, the “Japanese” invented it, wink wink nudge nudge, say no more. I love … Continue reading →
Operative DT takes a break from Myrmidon Wrangling to write in: Doc, I think the Estudiante Medico Pequeño is on to something. That planet’s not just meat – that’s sweet, sweet bacon (pbuh)! That makes me curious, though – as … Continue reading →
Blue Sun respectfully submits a video nearly guaranteed to have Puter busting a move, peeling off all his clothes, and prancing around the weeds at the Castle entrance until Sleestak has to get the darts again. And to be fair, … Continue reading →
GorT had a flurry of emails and is slowly working through them… First up is from IT Operative B: Thanks for the recent Liberal Conundrums posts. My personal favorite conundrum is the tension between zero-population-growth and the cradle-to-grave social welfare … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, the one and only Borepatch writes in. Do you read him every day? We do. He writes regarding the Lil Med Student’s concussion. It reminds me of the time that #2 Son had to go to the Emergency … Continue reading →
Operative BG writes in after jotting a bunch of notes on a chalkboard, brushing off the dust and scratching his head: None of the stories of my tax dollars being wasted on bad green investments surprises me. But when you … Continue reading →
Ok, ok, Dr. J. is still playing catch up on his mailbag, but our writers make for entertaining reading. Indeed, Dr. J.’s mailbag from last week got a shout out from his buddy Jamie Jeffords at the Eye of Polyphemus … Continue reading →
Dr. (KN)J, our Royal Mathematician, writes in: O Most Dread and Noble, etc. If my recent conversations with public primary and secondary teachers are any indication, you have left a “blame arrow” out of your diagram. All the aforementioned teachers … Continue reading →
Dr. J. received a couple of missives regarding his post last week regarding The Phantom Menace in 3D. The first is from none other than Merlin, himself. You can read him at Merlin’s Musings. And you should check in daily. … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been remiss in responding to his email. His fellow Gormogons ascribe his delinquent tendencies to a combination of illiteracy and procrastination. They’re correct. ‘Puter’s been meaning to give frequent correspondent J.A.B. a little more face time around here, as … Continue reading →
The Czar has sure been busy lately, and has fallen a bit behind in his mail. First up chronologically is DT, who lined up six cesium atoms to spell out the following email: Your Mustachioed Magnificence, I just read about … Continue reading →
Operative and Myrmidon Wrangler DT (not to be confused with Operative R2DT) writes in: Oh Noble Hoopy Frood Dr. J, As you are no doubt aware, Medicare is starting to use the results of patient surveys in calculating reimbursement for … Continue reading →
Dr. J. has been crazy busy and the mail has been piling up. He apologizes and will empty the bag as quickly as he can, but here is a quick hit for our readers. And FU means follow up, not … Continue reading →
Minion ScottO writes in with a tuple of questions spread across three Gormogons: Gentlemen and overlords, Your 3 posts inspired questions, so you get a 3-fer email. First, GorTechie: I recognize the idea of Federal laws superseding State, but if … Continue reading →
Our Royal Exchequer, SW writes in: I’ve enjoyed your musings over the state of education both because I often agree and because my daughters are teachers. One of them, currently a professor teaching teachers has a perspective you may want … Continue reading →
Well, we empty out the mailbag and it fills back up. You people are awesome. The Czar received no less than three most honorable messages. First up is our official archivist. What a delight she is! As you know, we … Continue reading →
The Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons, that other Dr. J, writes into the Czar. And this caught him by surprise, because the Czar looked up and down the length of this email and could not isolate a single instance where … Continue reading →
Dr. J. has received a bunch of email of late, so the next few posts will be delving into the mailbag. As each is a different subject, they all will go up in their own due time. Hopefully interspersed with … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Dr. J. received this email from the one and so far, only, the Great and Mighty Borepatch. We hope you read him everyday, just as we do! And by hope, we mean, “You will read Borepatch everyday…” He … Continue reading →
Folks have been writing in on the Czars distaste for the term African-American. And for pretty much the same reason: it diminishes who Americans are. N or S writes in: The difficulties inherent in the term “African American” were brought … Continue reading →
Operative DT writes in: RE:”if they don’t want to pay for practices they consider immoral, they should stick to serving their own co-religionists rather than the wider public” Dr. the J, EMTALA has rendered even that unlikely option impossible, hasn’t … Continue reading →
This missive arrived by bicycle courier from Operative JS regarding yesterday’s required reading assignment: Dear Dr. J, I don’t think you’ve been there long enough to tell us what to read. YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!!1! God Bless, J S … Continue reading →
Remember 1000 years ago when the Czar took on the task of reading the entire draft ObamaCare bill? He didn’t receive nearly as much email on that as he is on this subject of film tax subsidies. Amazed and MC … Continue reading →
MC is dying to learn more about tax subsidies. Thanks for the amplification, but I’m still not getting it. The government is still picking winners and losers, and in this case the winner is the film industry. The short-term benefit … Continue reading →
MC has recently returned from the Antarctic, where he tells weird tales of finding a ruined city of giants, with enormous penguins, strange carvings on the wall hinting at terrible events in our ancient past, as well as a Caribou … Continue reading →
GorT got two messages over the weekend, I was having too much fun to work on them until today so here we go. First up is from operative KH: Estimable GorTechie, The only way I would go along with point … Continue reading →
As the Czar predicted (some might say begged for), emails have been flooding in (some might say two arrived) about the Czars tribute to Kolchak: The Night Stalker television series. ScottO, the @AgStateSense, writes in: O Great and All-Knowing Czar, … Continue reading →
Operative ME writes in regarding Dr. J.’s post on the new HHS policies yesterday. Dear Dr. J., Excellent post on Catholicism, conscience and contraception. When I first heard of Secretary Sibelius’s proposal to bring to deny religious-affiliated organizations such as … Continue reading →
No, not that kind of heart plug. Operative R2DT writes in on thermal printer paper: Dear Dr. J., Ok, I admit it. The subject was just to get your attention, but it is related to the purpose of the email. … Continue reading →
Operative CN writes in with a quip so great the Czar laughed at its brilliance! Regarding your recent article, “Isn’t There Anything Bad We Can Find In This?”, here’s the headline as would be reported by gun control groups: “Teen … Continue reading →
Dr. J. received this missive from the Holy Roman Emperor, aka Operative HRE, via Papal bull. Seriously, it was a bull with one of them bunny ear hats. He writes: Dear Dr. Jay, I read your entry, and I really … Continue reading →
Ambisinistral, who incidentally is a great dancer, is heading up an interesting project in which he places leftists in Skinner boxes individual fully-enclosed wooden terraria. He takes a moment to write the Czar about a comment we made. Rick Santorum … Continue reading →
Your second screed in a row from JAB and the kindly folks at the Doublewide, who seem to spend a lot of time chucking pebbles at cans set up on fences and luaghing to themselves: Your Czarness: What–you’ve watched another … Continue reading →
JAB writes in from the Double-wide: Dear Mr. Dr. J: re: “Safe is good (i.e. no protruding glass or rusty nails)…” Why no rusty nails? Experience is a great teacher, isn’t it? And besides, the young’uns these days are vaccinated … Continue reading →
To: The Czar From: Dr. J. Re: The Czar is not one of those high-school-spent-in-the-locker types like Dr. J, and generally loathes science fiction… Dear The Czar: Dr. J. will have you know he was considered quite cool in high … Continue reading →
MC writes in a binary palindromes sometimes, with a letter starting 0101 but tending in 1010. Very clever. And not only did Lincoln know someone named Kennedy, but Lincoln knew a Hanks, while Kennedy was known to sneeze into a … Continue reading →
Dr. J. received this missive from Operative D.F. via subspace carrierwave: Good post today on the Lil Med Student’s interest in mythology. Here on Q’onos, my little warrior has gone crazy for the Rick Riordan books featuring Greek mythology. He’s totally … Continue reading →
Secret Gormogon Operative ERC, who hasnt written in for a while, sent the Czar a single letter: a lower-case b. This of course translates to: Your Czarness: I am well aware that the the vestigial legs of whales and other … Continue reading →
GorT loves him some email. So here is a great one penned by Operative ME, who is completely in the bag for the Gormogons. Dammit, that pun chip is going haywire, maybe the Mandarin can give it a swift kick. … Continue reading →
Dr. J. was glad to see that his post from yesterday resonated with somebody. Operative KH sent us this missive via Ouija board: Good evening, Doctor, Your board game post struck a chord with me. My late father taught me … Continue reading →
BG lined up atoms, using incredible amounts of energy to get them into an Arial font, to spell out the following message: You state, “Obama is adamantly opposed to gay marriage. Where are his questioners?” What do you base that … Continue reading →
The Czar is late on some mail. The first email? You are totally on your own, but Mandarin might want to roll back the rum portions he hands out to the crew up on the space station, as Nightfly demonstrates: … Continue reading →
As if right on cue, our esteemed Royal Mathematician writes in regarding Dr. J.’s post yesterday: A most happy New Year to all Gormogons whose calendar-origin-of-choice has recently passed, and general seasonally-appropriate greetings to the others: A quick word about … Continue reading →
LittleRed1 sent the Czar an unbroken paragraph (but not all in upper case) regarding the Virginia GOP, whom by now you know are evil bastards. LittleRed1 writes (with our edits): Oh great and powerful Czar, As your mightiness no doubt … Continue reading →
AH writes in with what the Czar thinks is absolutely polished, spot-on thinking. Please read this carefully, because he hits all the notes the Czar would be aiming for in future essays: Dread Czar, Liked your piece last night. It … Continue reading →
Who disturbs the Czars presence amidst Plants vs. Zombies? Why, two quick emails on Hexagon. The first is actually an interoffice from GorT, which when compiled says that he had a family member work on that very project, and said … Continue reading →
JAB replies: Your Czarness, Thanks for showing restraint and not banning me from the Castle bar, at least not yet. Your post “The Enemy of the Good” provides excellent reasons for voting for anyone but Obama. However, you completely misjudge … Continue reading →
Dr. J reports that: Seven in 10 Americans say they can’t wait for the presidential campaign to be over, while a minority of 26% can’t wait for it to begin. At 75%, residents of key 2012 swing states are even … Continue reading →
Confucius was enjoying a breakfast of one of the thousand-year eggs he put aside on his fifteen-hundredth birthday when one of our Tcho-Tcho footmen truckled in and, properly averting his eyes, kowtowed and presented Confucius with this letter which had … Continue reading →
Despite the medias stunned disbelief, Americans continue to be interested in conservative politics in increasing numbers. Almost like peer pressure is proving less effective. Two missives reflect this. First is Operative TG, who heads up our Counter-Insurgency Force, and who … Continue reading →
Borepatch, whom we read every day, writes your Czar: Man, I don’t know where you find those [Help Wanted ads] (must be a local Alt-Weekly that’s not on the ‘Net), but they were filled with win. BTW, Uncle Jay says … Continue reading →
Answering the mail call, that is. The Czar has four unread messages. First up is Operative FJR, who etched this onto a small grain of rice and slipped it into the Czars Burmese Beef: I do a lot of outdoor … Continue reading →
Operative MS writes in: A college or high-school marching band typically plays raucous, low-brow music. But there is no reason why this has to be. For a more highbrow half-time entertainment at you football games, switch from pop music to … Continue reading →
The Czar admits he was surprised. Usually when you write something scathing about Ron Paul, you get mail. This gem was not what he expected. Dear Mr. Dread and Powerful The Czar, In regards to Ron Paul, Attack Cartoons a … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received the following inquiry from operative D.T. regarding this post on the recent EU decision regarding the health benefits of water: Mighty Booter of Guts: Does this mean they’ve outlawed homeopathy? Well operative D.T. if that is really … Continue reading →
One of our most secret and ancient of operatives lives in the distant Nepalese cliffs, where he works on eldritch deeds most foul. His name is Ken, because thats what everyone calls him. Dread Czar, I saw the clip of … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, A couple more missives have come in. The first is from Operative FJR, who writes in from a secret mission to the North Pole to get ‘Puter switched from the Naughty to the Nice list: Dr. J., Thank … Continue reading →
SMack writes in: Sir Czar, Don’t you understand that if cardinals coached national championships we’d have forgiven them all too and gone on to praise them for all their years of wonderful coaching and saying a couple of years of … Continue reading →
Dr. J. received a couple of missives regarding his recent Medical Roundup. The first is from Operative Æ Dr. J, Jonah Goldberg directed me on to The Gormogons a several months ago and I have been a loyal subject since. … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s had a busy week folks. There is a news story that has been percolating in the background for months that Dr. J. has been trying to get his hands around, and finally he has gotten to where he … Continue reading →
One of your Mandarin’s orbital satellites intercepted the follow message: O Fearsome and Fashionable Mandarin, I read Confucius’s article about the informal Presidential preference poll. When I read that you had created the T.E.D. and were trying to sell it, … Continue reading →
Clever reader JA writes in to say: Re: the Marathon screen cap in a recent post. BEST. GAME. EVER. Yeah, dont we know it. See kiddies, in the days before Halo, there was Marathon. Indeed, attentive players of the Halo … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, There was quite a bit of tweeting in reaction to Dr. J.’s thoughts on Herman Cain. But Operative JAB writes in from the doublewide: Dear Mr. Dr. J.: I wouldn’t waste a lot of time-time-time noodling on the … Continue reading →
Dr. (KN)J provides the Czar a refreshing look as to how science really works. Or should work. He provides an actual scientific paper, which you can read by clicking here. Its a PDF, so you may need to save the … Continue reading →
You know, we rarely talk about our Spaceflight Practical Jokes Department, which is too bad because theyre doing some really cool stuff over there. Funnydreadfully funny stuff, but still cool. And Nightfly (who doesnt wear nearly as weird a costume … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Judging by the recent posts, it seems as though you residents of the Castle have been much irritated by the Occupy Wall St. crowd and their kinfolk The 99 Percenters. Well, I think I may have hit upon … Continue reading →
A couple of letters came in in response to Dr. J.’s post regarding ADHD. First, Operative FJR writes in: Dr.J, Read your list of ADHD symptoms and realized I don’t know anyone in the construction industry that doesn’t exhibit those … Continue reading →
Gormogon Operative GD writes in on one of Zeus’s lightning bolts regarding Dr J.’s post: “Like Mussolini, and Kennedy…” Yeah, since writing his post, Dr. J. couldn’t get that song out of his head either. Dr. J. liked that song. … Continue reading →
Ken, who insists on the ridiculous pseudonym of Ken, is kind enough to add to our recent thoughts on taxation. Ken, unedited and without further ado: Good morning, Dread Czar, I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on what … Continue reading →
Well, we each received a typewritten manifesto in our inboxes, smelling of pine and mountain cabin. The others kind of looked at it, we all looked at each other, and then looked back at the document. And the Mandarin said, … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s vaccine post struck a nerve or two (Nerve, Artery, Vein, NOT Vein, Artery, Nerve, got it). Our Myrmidon Wrangler DT writes in: Hey Doc, Great post, and it inspired me to post a big “Eff Jenny McCarthy” post … Continue reading →
The Czar wonders why he sometimes gets Puters mail. Batter up. Mighty Czar, I can’t think of an adequate way to introduce to this link. It quite simply just needs to be read. Glorious. A few thoughts spring to mind: … Continue reading →
Once in a while, the Czar says something he believes will generate a lot of grief, and is surprised to find people agree with him. The Czar made such a comment the other day, and has received a couple of … Continue reading →
Operative ME writes in regarding Dr. J.’s sufferings at the hands of Rebecca Roberts: Dr. J., As a once and future resident of Arizona, I thank you for the link to NPR segment with Ms. Roberts and the caller from … Continue reading →
Gormogon Lawn Darts and Drinking Club chaplain writes in to explain where he has been for the last couple of weeks. Also, the club only has two members: him and Puter. Well, I had a great time at World Youth … Continue reading →