‘Puter’s been incognito from the website for a bit, though he has been active on Twitter. ‘Puter’s absence has been due to the crush of work, which is a good problem to have. However, since last Friday (Good Friday, to … Continue reading →
To: ‘PuterFrom: GorTCc: MandyRe: Grenade Fishing and Solar Activity Dear ‘Puter: You’ll be glad to know that the Mandarin and I have been able to heat up the moat so you can begin your grenade fishing activities. The moat seems … Continue reading →
Nothing like a Monday-morning-working-on-a-federal-holiday-E.J. Dionne-written-in-feces-on-the-loony-bin-wall submission to set ‘Puter’s blood to boiling. In today’s voyage (courtesy of the Washington Post) into the strange mind of Mr. Dionne, we learn that conservatives are hypocrites because they cannot cut government or rein … Continue reading →
Minion ScottO writes in with a tuple of questions spread across three Gormogons: Gentlemen and overlords, Your 3 posts inspired questions, so you get a 3-fer email. First, GorTechie: I recognize the idea of Federal laws superseding State, but if … Continue reading →
And ‘Puter chooses freedom. Generations of immigrants have done so, abandoning their old lives, setting off for America’s blessed shores, believing that America’s foundational ideals would enable them, and if not them then certainly their children, to build better lives. … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s no economist, thank goodness. It’s not called the dismal science for nothing, and ‘Puter has enough dismal-ness to deal with in the maw of Upstate’s wintery, dead gray. And, to be fair to real science, economics like many other … Continue reading →
As all 4.3 billion readers of this site and all two of ‘Puter’s fans have surely noticed, ‘Puter’s been absent of late, except for the odd Twitter posting. ‘Puter’s been working on negotiating, papering and closing the sale of a … Continue reading →
‘Puter has been remiss in posting lately. There are a couple of reasons. First, ‘Puter has been lights-out crazy at work. ‘Puter’s in the financial industry, concentrating in the secondary market for sub-performing and non-performing secured commercial debt. Think Bain … Continue reading →
Dr. J. was inspired by Kevin Williamson’s Friday column at National Review Online. He posits that Republicans are divided into two camps. Those that believe that Obama is incompetent, and those that believe that he is evil. It his his … Continue reading →
As we may have mentioned before, your Gormogons have divided the nation into spheres of influence, so that we may prepare the population for the imminent return of The Thirteenth Imam (PBUH (peace be upon Huckleberry)) in our own special … Continue reading →
With everybody back at the Castle, the Czar thought he would stroll around and see what everyone was doing. And then, just like that, the Czar thought he would poll around about New Year’s resolutions. We wandered down to the … Continue reading →
The final day of our calendar brings up the door to these charities: The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (one of ‘Puter’s picks)The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging (GorT frequents this charity)The Holy Land Christian Ecumenical Foundation (also a pick … Continue reading →
In a police lineup, it would not be hard to pick out ‘Puter’s Christmas Tree. Our little, lovable Luddite went with a Hello Kitty theme. Here you can see his tree, with Mrs. ‘Puter modeling the latest in Hello Kitty … Continue reading →
Now, the Czar has been our Minister of Substantive Posts™ of late, with ‘Puter hideously busy dealing with all things reality based, and GorT, Volgi, and Dr. J. being all Christmassy with our content, and Mandy, well, being Mandy. But … Continue reading →
Traditionally, advent calendars are small and have tiny candies behind each door – usually chocolates. ‘Puter might have been disappointed at first that these were not real but rather chocolate, he got over it quickly and actually found a way … Continue reading →
As we continue the downhill slide to the ultimate in musical Christmas cheer, Dr. J. rings in day number eight with O Holy Night. O Holy Night is the Double Black Diamond slope of Christmas songs. If there were a … Continue reading →
So it’s back to the top of the rotation and ‘Puter is all a twitter (seriously, go follow us on twitter…he is all a-twitter) with opening the next door. He was a little disappointed that the door was substantially smaller … Continue reading →
As ‘Puter may have mentioned once or twice before, he’s an attorney working in house at a boutique financial company. Some have referred to ‘Puter’s company’s niche as a vulture fund, but that’s for another day. More to the point … Continue reading →
As those of you loyal minions who follow your Gormogons on Twitter already know, ‘Puter with family in tow, traveled to the Diocese of Rochester’s cathedral, Sacred Heart, last evening to celebrate ‘Puter, Jr.’s confirmation. For those non-Papist minions, the … Continue reading →
More nostalgia for our gentle readers. For GenX-ers The Charlie Brown Christmas Special and The Grinch That Stole Christmas (the Chuck Jones/Boris Karloff classic, not that Jim Carrey trainwreck) were appointment television, especially in the years when they were broadcast … Continue reading →
All of your Gormogons were toddlers once (and some would posit that ‘Puter still is one), and all of your Gormogons have experienced the joy that is raising toddlers. Their sense of wonder and curiosity, their innocence, and their innate … Continue reading →
Christmas music is an important and pervasive aspect of the season. The music at mass thankfully goes up a notch, and Mrs. Dr. J. and the lil resident’s favorite radio station (the maudlin love song station, you know, the one … Continue reading →
Guess who’s coming to dinner? There’s always room for Hello Kitty. She is the Thanksgiving equivalent of Elijah at Passover, so don’t forget to leave her a cup of whatever intoxicating beverage you’re serving. A blessed, safe and happy Thanksgiving … Continue reading →
A very happy and most wonderful Thanksgiving from all of us at the Castle (well, maybe not the Tcho-Tchos). As many of you know, Thanksgiving is the Czar’s favorite holiday; even better than the Feast of Zdravgul, which we celebrated … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been having a difficult time hearing himself think, what with all the Left’s whining about income inequality. This morning, on his pre-dawn walk, ‘Puter had some time to think about why income inequality exists, and what, if anything, can … Continue reading →
Theses. You nail theses to a church door. Welp, better send Dat Ho down there with a scrub brush and nail puller. One more time. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s eldest son is receiving the sacrament of confirmation this year. Mrs. ‘Puter collared ‘Puter last night after work to discuss the aforementioned impending event. During this conversation, ‘Puter learned he was being charged a $25.00 fee for the sacrament, … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since ‘Puter’s taken time out to write concerning his rather boring life, rather than his over-the-top convictions, so here’s a status update for you. 1. ‘Puter’s off the Strattera for his ADHD. The medication had, for … Continue reading →
Dr. J. is wondering when the Founding Gormos will be returning to the castle. The Czar’s mail is piling up. The machine that goes ping in Mandy’s lab stopped going ping. We’re out of yeti Food for Volgi’s pet, and … Continue reading →
A couple of letters came in in response to Dr. J.’s post regarding ADHD. First, Operative FJR writes in: Dr.J, Read your list of ADHD symptoms and realized I don’t know anyone in the construction industry that doesn’t exhibit those … Continue reading →
… Of The People In Your Graduating Class You Were Reasonably Certain Were Not Going To Amount To Much Because Of Our Delusional Beliefs. ‘Puter moseyed on over to the Occupy Wall Street “We Are the 99 Percent” website today, … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, ‘Puter has, in true ‘Puter fashion shared with you his recent diagnosis of adult ADHD. Now for those of us who have known ‘Puter for quite some time, our reaction was, “Well, DUH!, That’s why we love ‘Puter!” … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to get introspective, and perhaps a bit self-pitying, so bear with him for a few minutes. Longtime readers of your Gormogons know ‘Puter’s got a relatively conventional medical history for a man of his age. He’s got a … Continue reading →
Today marks the first anniversary of ‘Puter’s L4-L5 microdiscetomy. ‘Puter would like to take a moment from his usual ranty snark to give sincere thanks for the skill of his surgeon and his entire medical team. ‘Puter would also like … Continue reading →
The Czar wonders why he sometimes gets ‘Puter’s mail. Batter up. Mighty Czar, I can’t think of an adequate way to introduce to this link. It quite simply just needs to be read. Glorious. A few thoughts spring to mind: … Continue reading →
The Czar will be in big trouble if you tell anybody about this. Fortunately, ‘Puter never reads this site, so we should be safe. His brother Krizz called him yesterday, and said “Need your help, bro. There’s a skunk somewhere … Continue reading →
Let us see. Volgi is hiding up in his quarters with that goofy Yeti of his, watching another Sonny Chiba movie on Beta. Yeah, he sits there with his iPad now, Twittering all day. Averages about 800 tweets a day, … Continue reading →
The current recession is nothing compared to the one preordained by our continued debt-funded budgets. Think about it. What’s the primary cause of our continued Carteresque malaise? Consumer and business deleveraging, resulting from the bursting of an economic bubble. That … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been up to his ears in work, which, in this economy, is a wonderful fix in which to find one’s self. Today, amidst the current office insanity, ‘Puter received from outside counsel a pro se defendant’s pleadings. Pro se … Continue reading →
Hell, if that overbearing, over exposed, overweight harridan Oprah can have favorite things, so can ‘Puter. ‘Puter’s at least as pudgy as the Big O. As the now-voiceless Julie Andrews once sang, “these are a few of [‘Puter’s] favorite things. … Continue reading →
‘Puter works in the financial services industry, for a small, privately held company that owns and manages portfolios of sub and nonperforming commercial debt. And so the veil is pulled back. ‘Puter’s company recently advertised for an assistant position and … Continue reading →
What’s better than one of us replying to ‘Puter’s prose? Jonah Goldberg doing it. Welcome Corner readers. We assume this shall not be your last visit. Help yourself to some popcorn. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный … Continue reading →
A typical email, but one we chose because it seems really flattering: Do my eyes deceive me, or is there new wallpaper in the background on the blog? What is it, and who picked it out? It looks very nice … Continue reading →
Fake Herzog does what more of you should do, and write in: ‘Puter hit the ball out of the park (was it perhaps a tee ball?) today with his post on E.J. Dionne and the Catholic Church’s position on economics … Continue reading →
Well it’s about danged time this Rube Goldberg contraption is up and running, sort of, again. ‘Puter’s been venting over to The Twitter. If you don’t already follow us over there, you really ought to. Especially because most of ‘Puter’s … Continue reading →
Here’s ‘Puter’s stupid question for the day. Assume that a public sector union contract has expired so that there is no continuing obligation between the employer and the employees. Assume further that the public unions refuse to acknowledge economic reality … Continue reading →
‘Puter was pondering the Obama Administration’s singular ability to muck up every foreign policy matter it touches, and had a sobering thought. With President Obama thoroughly flummoxed by our “kinetic military actions” in Libya, Iraq and Afghanistan, what happens if … Continue reading →
‘Puter has been Czar’s designated driver, since ‘Puter gave up drinking after midnight (GMT)and before 6:00 AM (EST) for Lent. Unfortunately, ‘Puter had to attend his niece’s Irish step-dancing recital this weekend in Guadalajara, and Czar took the Castle’s tram … Continue reading →
Concerning Czar’s post below, ‘Puter was taken aback upon reading it. ‘Puter reminded Czar that the official MSM Style Guide insists that the word “darkened” or any variant whatsoever of the word “dark” be used within fifteen sentences of any … Continue reading →
Ghettoputer’s sisters lost many a donkey back in the day. Now, they don’t have a single donkey between them. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →Uncle Jay sends us this, written in charcoal on the back of a corrugated PVC lawn sign: O Cruel and Vicious Czar, By the Grace of God, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias, of Moscow, Kiev, Vladimir, Novgorod, yadda … Continue reading →
ERC responds to DT’s letter about California. Your link to Dr. Hanson’s article was a real downer. I’m a second generation Californian in my mid sixties. “I’ve seen California destroyed by Progress.“ I’m one of those 20-to-100-acre orchardists: used to … Continue reading →
Alas, law enforcement stopped him just short… CHICAGO (CBS) – Even though it was snowing, it was apparently not too cold for one man who was arrested after people saw him running around wearing nothing but socks and carrying a … Continue reading →
Fire up the jet, boys. We’re going to Akron. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →Early weekend mornings are a good time for reflection. Lately, as ‘Puter’s been recovering from his back surgery and unable to do much of any exercise, he’s been rising earlier than usual. This morning, ‘Puter wasout of bed with coffee … Continue reading →
‘Puter is in fact alive and reasonably well. ‘Puter would like to thank each of you who wrote to him expressing get well wishes, and even those who wished he would die like the stinking right wing BUSHITLERBURTONCON he is. … Continue reading →
DT writes in: Yeah, sure, a “spinal” implant. We all know that ‘Puter’s been pining for pectoral implants ever since he lost the castle flex-off to the Mandy This is pretty much the case, and sorry that DT was there … Continue reading →
As regular readers know, our own dear Ghettoputer is getting a spinal implant today. With these new bionic parts, he will be able to stand up to union thugs, out-of-control local politicians, liberal Catholics, and sex-obsessed school teachers with even … Continue reading →
‘Puter just sent Sleestak over to the Czar’s library to tell him that preparations for his upcoming back surgery are taking up too much of his drinking time, and would the Czar be able to write up an official Gormogon … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been notably absent from these parts of late, and there’s a good explanation for that. ‘Puter blew his back out again, and on Sunday was unable to get out of bed even to make the short trip to the … Continue reading →
…but I’m not NOT saying it’s one of his lovely female cousins—Miss West Virginia in the heezy.* (NSFW language.) *Heezy here denoting a doublewide with tarpaper patching and a satellite dish slightly smaller than the Arecibo radio telescope. Confucius, Œc. … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s pretend girlfriend and The Atlantic’s economic blogger extraordinaire went and got married this weekend to another exceptionally bright and talented writer/blogger, Peter Suderman. Despite his broken heart, ‘Puter has sent the happy couple a 12 place setting of Hello … Continue reading →
Pictured, right. Yeah, it’s in poor taste, but ‘Puter needs a laugh today. ‘Puter’s probably bringing down bad karma on himself, especially since he’s going to see the doctor about his back and blood pressure in 15 minutes. Stay tuned! … Continue reading →
Blogging may be light from ‘Puter for the next couple of days. He is laid up at home with a slipped disc, a recurrence/aggravation of an injury he’s had since law school. His worst case, until now, was two years … Continue reading →
‘Puter has a nasty cold, dutifully provided him by the divine Mrs. ‘Puter. ‘Puter was whining about his minor affliction to his sister. ‘Puter writes: I heard that under ObamaCare, there will be no more colds. Or alternatively that the … Continue reading →
…he drives the Pontiac Vibe he leaves at his vacation house. Astutely spotted at Deadspin. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →There’s nothing better than someone tying a note to a brick and hurling it through the front window of the Castle Gormogon. Unless of course it goes through an open bedroom window and wallops ‘Puter smack in the head. God, … Continue reading →
As ‘Puter and the Czar were discussing this post over Cohibas and mason jars of corn likker in Castle Gormogon’s study, ‘Puter inquired as to how Hello Kitty could hit the pictured bong, seeing as she has no mouth. The … Continue reading →
Indeed, Happy Birthday, Grandma P! The Czar remembers her as a little girl, chasing the other kids around the Castle Gormogon. How she’s grown. The Czar knows that the ‘Puter is too modest to say, but his Grandmother pays her … Continue reading →
Or, “Why One Should Never Travel Without A Grocery Bag And Brawny Paper Towels.” ‘Puter’s family took the death march back from his undisclosed beach adjacent vacation spot to his palatial Upstate hovel last Saturday. Fun was had from the … Continue reading →
Every ultra-secret society needs an easy-to-find website. And it is the one-year anniversary of this one! As a way of celebrating, here’s a simple user guide to most things Gormogon. Learn More About Us Although the Gormogons claim roughly five … Continue reading →
Behind the palatial ‘Puter manse, the ‘Puter family (mostly Mrs. ‘Puter) has a vegetable garden. Also behind the ‘Puter manse live an abundance of God’s lovely creatures. ‘Puter has seen deer, turkey, fox, squirrel (red and gray), chipmunks, groundhogs, coyote, … Continue reading →
‘Puter had a whirlwind of a weekend just past. Here are some snippets for your consideration. 1. When homebrewing Belgian ale, make certain the wort has sufficiently cooled before adding the yeast to the fermenter. High sugar content of the … Continue reading →
Finally the fuzz caught up to ‘Puter, busting both ‘Puter and Mrs. ‘Puter on a bogus domestic violence rap. That is, until ‘Puter realized he’d ben caught orange handed. *What kind of genius law enforcement officer writes in his report … Continue reading →
The Mandarin journeys to the West today, allegedly due to some scrutables rumored to exist there—and if so, he shall surely inscrutalize them for us—to which end he shall not post today. Meanwhile, 孔夫子, otherwise known as your Œcumenical Volgi … Continue reading →
If you have leftover night at your house, like ‘Puter does at his, take this advice. If you think the week-old, leftover baked fish smells a little off, go with your better instincts and don’t eat it. Particularly not with … Continue reading →
Well, as you know, Sleestak mostly communicates by hissing noises, and it was years before ‘Puter even realized he had an accent. But over time, we learned to communicate a fair bit with him, and today, on this Mother’s Day, … Continue reading →
