The bad news is that Obamacare negatively affects you, our gentle reader. The good news is that Julia is equally bad off. Remember Julia? We lampooned her here a while back. Someone from the Independent Women’s Voice organization came up … Continue reading →
* Gentle Readers, Dr. J.’s been hideously busy at work lately, so your daily dose of pop-culture whimsy, biomedical news, educational theory, economic policy, tales of the Lil Resident and Lil Medstudent, and pictures of Lady J. have been sporadic, … Continue reading →
President Starr was equally fetching with his goatee. Gentle Readers, Dr. J. took GorT’s time machine for a spin, and not only went back in time, but shifted a lane or two over to the left to a mirror universe … Continue reading →
Also sprach Czar-a-thustra: In the end, the President will be tarnished but not damaged—like Reagan in the Iran-Contra affair (although the level of Obama’s probable involvement and complicity was quite different than Reagan’s). Quite true. Despite the kind but feebleminded … Continue reading →
Your Czarness, Greetings from your Bongburgher. I have a contact on Capitol Hill which has provided me with an early draft of the President’s SOTU. I submit it to you via passenger pigeon as part of the historical record. It … Continue reading →
Shane Ruiz, 7, of Bernalilo, New Mexico, has announced he is one of the 99% of the family kids who will occupy the backyard pool all weekend. “I’m not comin’ out,” he stated emphatically, reiterating “I’m stayin in!” An only … Continue reading →
Day 22,453 of Occupy the Westmoreland Avenue DMV continues. A spokesperson said “We are the 99% of people who wait here, hour after hour, hoping either our name or number will be called.” Asked about their demands, they said: A … Continue reading →
The ants came marching in to the kitchen, and bee-lined straight for the kitchen tile, third from the wall, seventh row down, in order to mop up some spilled soda. When asked, the ants reported they were part of the … Continue reading →
Ben McWhirter, 73, who usually hangs out by the hundred combo flavor Pepsi machine, is in his fourth hour of Occupy Stall 3 of the Men’s Room Inside the Lansing, Michigan, Culvers on Saginaw Highway. Asked what his demands are, … Continue reading →
Madison Connelly is well past 9PM as part of her Occupy the Stairs Up. She is demanding the dismantling of capitalism, although she indicated she would easily settle for that cute unicorn Happy Napper. Good luck, 99 percenter! The Czar … Continue reading →
Manny Deavers of Wellman, Wyoming, is now into his first evening of Occupy State Road 259N. He wants us to know that he is one of the 99%. Mom brought him a blanket about 90 minutes later. Right now, his … Continue reading →
Grady Przybylo, of Mumpfersboro, Kentucky, wants you to know that his Occupy Leewald Street is now in its second day. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
Hat tip to The Feral Irishman, who has lots of good semi-NSFW content on his site. Always worth a read. View with caution; some tricky language that could cause coworkers to gather around your desk in curiosity. The Czar of … Continue reading →
In a recent survey of iOS game developers, the top 20 percent of iOS game developers in terms of lifetime revenue are earning approximately 97 percent of all the game revenue made on the Apple App Store. The top 1 … Continue reading →
1996 Republican Presidential candidate Robert “Bob” Dole has launched an exploratory committee for a 2012 Presidential run. “I mean, what the f—,” Dole explained to a room containing three reporters. “Every other goddamn has-been wash-out candidate for the last 20 … Continue reading →
And not just the bad, Nazi Germans. But regular old, nuke-hating, Birkenstock wearing, razor-abhorring Germans! Oh, the humanity! But how? How can we be sure it’s Ms. Palin who is killing Germans? The logic, my friends, is simple. There is … Continue reading →
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi explain the math behind Progressive economics to a skeptical Republican senator. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia … Continue reading →
Lovely Female Co-Worker submits her article for the front page of tomorrow’s Democrat and Chronicle. Woman Enjoys Pickle for First Time in Decade After accidentally killing her husband in a grilling accident ten years ago, Susie Smith was without a … Continue reading →
Wednesday: In State of the Union address, President Obama humiliates and embarrasses all nine Supreme Court judges in front of millions of Americans for their decision to overturn McCain-Feingold. Thurday: In surprise ruling, Supreme Court justices rule 9-0 that President … Continue reading →
Will James Cameron make a sequel to Avatar? According to Aaron Water in the Muscovy Times’ Entertainment section (not available on line), Mr. Cameron has other interests first: Actually, I’m much more interested in pulling a, you know, a George … Continue reading →
Look, crazy Obama cultists. If you’re going to offend people by deifying President Obama, go big or go home. May ‘Puter recommend that school children in Chicago sing the third verse of O, Holy Night while kneeling before a likeness … Continue reading →
So the Czar just got a letter from the Superintendent of the Muscovy School Board, SD 474F5254, that said: “By the Grace of God, et cetera [lots of nice things omitted], we respectfully wish to inform your Czarness that henceforth, … Continue reading →
Anthropogenic Continental Drift! Check out the graphs and charts. H/T to the mighty Borepatch. The Czar reads him every day. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
A great deal is being made about the role Twitter is playing in the Iranian turmoil. The Czar quickly decided to investigate how great this role is. The following dispatch arrived from our okhrana, which makes the Czar wonder if … Continue reading →
Oh no! President Obama has angered more of his supporters by failing to use the enormous powers of the US government to force legalization of gay marriage. Evidently, candidate Obama made some promise that he would repeal the Defense of … Continue reading →
Union workers follow union rules in loading cargo onto a Japan Air 747, picture right. Our resident tech guy GorT says it is generally not recommended to jam large, metal foreign objects into a jet intake. Union officials respond that … Continue reading →
A while back, I predicted that with the election of Obama and the going-weak-at-the-knees treatment that Hollywood and the press have given his administration (which continues) that the current slate of comedians and satirists will be looking for a new … Continue reading →
Your Czar found himself in a lengthy elevator ride today with a liberal. The Czar only learned the man was a liberal from our conversation, which went thus: CZAR: Thirty-nine, please. LIB: Because of Bush and Cheney and the whole … Continue reading →
Says FoxNews’ Major “Captain” Garrett: Obama will [send] civilian State Department and personnel from other US agencies to improve Afghanistan’s ability to govern itself—a tacit acknowledgement that the government led by President Hamid Karzai has failed to win Obama’s full … Continue reading →
The Czar strongly recommends that a network pick up this new idea for a show. You know you’d watch it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
Poor Abby West, who (as we have foreseen and according to our plans) writes this shocking sentence: “Gormogons did exist but they don’t appear to have been all that menacing.” Not menacing? Take a look at this picture, Ms. West, … Continue reading →
President Obama, speaking to Jay Leno on The Tonight Show last night, likened his bowling prowess to that of a Special Olympian. What a boneheaded comment. The POTUS, thinking he can get away with putting down special needs folks? That’s … Continue reading →
The Czar just got hold of a spec script for this new crime drama pilot that the Volgi has been working on. He made the Czar promise to keep this draft a secret, so the Czar will only share it … Continue reading →
The Czar loves his Xbox 360, and is delighted that its international appeal is spreading. While fellow Gormogons disagree about soccer, baseball, and, well, soccer and baseball, the Gormogons agree on fictional endorsements, and are busy playing each other with … Continue reading →
