Check out this story from West Virginia. I wonder if he updated his status to read, “Jonathan Parker is so robbing this house right now!” I doubt he got any points for his MobWars character for actually committing a felony. … Continue reading →
A Washington State mental hospital took some of its residents to the Spokane County Interstate Fair yesterday. Unfortunately, one of the mentally ill patients, one Phillip Arnold Paul*, walked away. The problem? Mr. Paul is a murderer, acquitted by reason … Continue reading →
As those that will not see. Yeah, it’s a cheap shot. New York’s accidental governor, David Paterson, hired a campaign manager yesterday for his planned reelection campaign. Unfortunately for ‘Puter’s governor, the electorate doesn’t seem to like him. At all. … Continue reading →
According to Politico, our President referred to Kanye West as a “jackass.” In keeping with Gormogon policy, ‘Puter can indeed confirm that Kanye West is, in fact, a jackass. Listen, getting lit up on Hennessey and picking on women is … Continue reading →
His new name is Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. (Yes, and at least two of his nerdonyms appear to be misspelled.) Now you know. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →‘Puter’s been reading a lot of the commentary on President Obama’s address to the joint session of Congress last night. Here’s one item that ‘Puter thinks has gotten short shrift. President Obama declared that in his preferred health care reform … Continue reading →
If you’ve ever wondered why America has taken a serious dislike to politicians of all stripes, meet California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (R). Politicians seem to be uncouth, tacky, liars and all-around nogoodniks these days, regardless of political persuasion (cf., Rangel, … Continue reading →
You know, the Internet is chockablock with fuckwittery, but sometimes you read something that takes the cake. Now unlike the Mandarin, who when too close to a large magnet is overcome by the smell of burnt pork and a compulsion … Continue reading →
Professor Steve Sheppard of the University of Arkansas School of Law is wrong. Not just a little wrong. A lot wrong. And a semi-skilled first year moot court participant could clean the courtroom floor with his flawed arguments. In this … Continue reading →
What’s a high school biology teacher to do when she gets fired for having a side job on a topless fishing charter crew? Why, start starring in pornos, of course. Ms. Shepherd states she’s “not particularly proud” of her porn … Continue reading →
Plug the Democrats’ description of health care reform as a “moral duty” or “moral imperative” into the universal translator and out pops “health care opponents are ignorant racists who want you to die poor and in pain.” Thank goodness for … Continue reading →
In today’s WSJ, Bobby White reports on Auburn, California’s recent conundrum. The inventor of the transistor and Nobel laureate William B. Shockley’s widow recently died, leaving Auburn 28 acres to be used as a park with the only requirement being … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been doing some thinking here, which is always dangerous. ‘Puter’s noted a disturbing connection between the Department of Justice’s witch hunt at the CIA and ObamaCare’s failure to address tort reform. Bear with ‘Puter for a minute. Attorney General … Continue reading →
Don’t believe your Gormogons that government health care will be a colossal fustercluck? Behold, ‘Puter gives you the following example! The Veterans’ Administration sent out letter to at least 1,200 Gulf War veterans informing them that they have Lou Gehrig’s … Continue reading →
A portion of a family vacationing in Acadia National Park in Maine, along with a swimming Floridian, were deservedly removed from the gene pool over the weekend. A little harsh, you say? Not really. It is irresponsible to go wave … Continue reading →
The Volgi wondered openly to the Czar whether Press Secretary Robert Gibbs is a sociopath or an intellectual feathweight, given how he seems able to reiterate the President as completely correct even when all the evidence produced in a question … Continue reading →
‘Puter would like to extend his heartfelt thanks to the fine government of Scotland for releasing the life-sentenced Lockerbie bomber on compassionate grounds. You see, Abdel Baset al Megrahi has prostate cancer and is dying, so it is only just … Continue reading →
Tweaking the renowned philosopher Forrest Gump, “Arrogant is as arrogant does.” ‘Puter, as any student of Washington, has known that many Congressmen are self-important blowhards with thinly-veiled disregard for their constituents. In recent days, at town hall meetings across the … Continue reading →
In today’s edition, the New York Times calls for a bank employee compensation policy that would penalize what the NYT considers “speculative activities or other excessively risky transactions.” Interestingly, were the feds to adopt such a policy, it would discourage … Continue reading →
It’s not a really big number, but this $30,000 issue is emblematic of New York’s fiscal woes. The New York Department of Labor paid 11 inmates $30,000 in unemployment benefits. Then again, maybe it’s not a mistake, but just another … Continue reading →
A 74 year old woman in Ouray, Colorado was mauled to death by a bear. Horrible, you say. Wrong. One Donna Munson spent much of her time violating Colorado law and feeding wild bears. One such bear (a 400 pounder, … Continue reading →
The Czar and the Царица were on official business in the far Southwest corner of the empire some days ago, and were heading back up I-55 North. The Царица was reading the news paper, and turned to the classified ads … Continue reading →
When caught with a hard drive full of kiddie porn, use a variant of the Son of Sam defense. Keith Griffin of Flordia claims that his cat hopped around on his keyboard, downloading all manner of illegal child pornography. The … Continue reading →
Call us, Craig. Not just for this, but for being the first talk-show host in a long time to interview actual writers on his show. And doing an actual talk show where you, you know, talk to people. Via Warming … Continue reading →
Trying to parse this utterance: GAROFALO: The, mostly the media in the States is much more to the right. I mean there is almost no liberal outlet for news commentary or editorializing. … Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like … Continue reading →
Walkersville High School’s administration (located in scenic Frederick County, Maryland) fired a high school softball coach for hosting a team party at which alcohol was served. “What’s the problem, ‘Puter?”, you ask. Here’s the problem. The players weren’t drinking. The … Continue reading →
‘Puter knows better than to read the New York Times, particularly anything written concerning “gender” or “family” issues. But ‘Puter got suckered into reading this gem of a column by Judith Warner. Here are the facts, as relayed by Ms. … Continue reading →
Credit the Obama Administration with consistency if nothing else. When there is a choice between government control and the free market, the Obama Administration will pick government control every time. We’ve seen it in Government Motors, The Amazing Technicolor Stimulus … Continue reading →
Hold on, folks, ‘Puter feels a multi-tiered stem winder coming on here, prompted by the lavish attention showered on Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was many things, most of bad, and all of no lasting consequence. Quick! Think of one thing … Continue reading →
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. New York, once a top job producer and wage leader, now has all of its major cities in a Forbes nationwide top ten list of cities with the largest wage cuts. NYC, Albany, Syracuse, … Continue reading →
A Dutch psychologist and criminologist, Chris Rutenfrans, once told me that, in his opinion, there was a single factor underlying much modern social pathology and psychic unease, namely a loss of the power of, or inclination to, self-control. It sounded … Continue reading →
The Czar is, um, bemused to be quoted and linked to on an astrology website. Yes, the link is there, but trust us: they don’t need any further traffic. [updated: classy and intellectual, Brian Dunbar has done some elaborate detective … Continue reading →
’Puter, whom rumor has it is always right, has hit the mot juste in describing Mark Sanford as a “colossal ass.” Moreover, he’s obviously a narcissist of the first water. (Sanford. Not ’Puter. Necessarily.) As Mark Steyn pointed out, Narcissism … Continue reading →
By now we all know Gov. Sanford flew to Argentina on the taxpayers’ dime to “make sweet love down by the fire” to his latina lover. ‘Puter wonder to hisself whether the governor’s Argentine mistress is a “wise Latina,” but … Continue reading →
After a hard night on the town, Czar returns home a bit likkered up and starts landscaping his neighbor’s yard. Unfortunately for the Czar, his neighbor had not requested assistance in landscaping, and the local constabulary arrived in force. Not … Continue reading →
Maybe this group really likes Tom Cruise movies or Phillip K. Dick short stories, because when I read the following it sounded a lot like “Minority Report”. The “World Future Council” has recently issued a press release stating “Crimes against … Continue reading →
You know, His Obamaness is a confident guy. His acolytes attribute virtual omnipotence to him, and one gets the sense that he’d rarely refute such claim, other than with a backhanded dismissal insinuating it’s not that he couldn’t do it, … Continue reading →
The Press makes the Czar cry. Some quick hits: Mike Zapler of the San Jose Mercury News refers to California’s deficit, which “seems to be growing by the day.” Umm…Mike, if you have unpaid debt to which interest is applied, … Continue reading →
The Atlantic’s Andrew Sullivan, who claims “Of No Party or Clique”—is widely regarded as a passionate conservative, although he certainly seems to run with the elitist Left of Center journalists with the perpetually raised eyebrow and expertise in third-world coffees … Continue reading →
The Czar needed help with this one. Read this AP release first. The Czar did, and wondered what the hell this was about. The French government wants to shut down internet access to people who repeatedly steal copyrighted material? Good … Continue reading →
It’s almost as if the UN is on a personal mission to infuriate the Czar. Evidently, UN General Assembly President Miguel D’Escoto Brockmann—continuing the fine UN tradition of awarding key positions to people with bizarrely exotic names—has declared the recent … Continue reading →
Brendan Donnelly @ WWTDD: I don’t know if I ever told you guys this but in 1995 at the Palace Hotel in Nidwalden, Switzerland, all the bloggers and traditional media had a meeting and we randomly drew a celebrity name … Continue reading →
“Co-worker’s tattoo” Q: … She thinks it means “Bitch.”… A: What this woman tattooed 贱女 really means “cheap whore”. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Jenny McCarthy, that formerly hot yet now hard and used up looking Playboy “model”, shares her scientific knowledge that vaccinations caused her son’s autism, so under no circumstances should any children ever be vaccinated. Vaccination must have caused her son’s … Continue reading →
The Czar knows that ‘Puter is always right. Hippies require a substantially lavish society in order for them to protest the lavishness of it at all. In poorer cultures, hippies would be eaten. Your Czar has similar ironic observations about … Continue reading →
John “Don” McLeroy is chairman of the Texas State Board of Education. Why is Texas usually center ring in the Creationist Science circus? It doesn’t help that the chairman is a Level 5 FrontLump. This is a term the Czar … Continue reading →
Well, maybe this explains the whole “stimulus package.” Ye gods and little fishes. Watch the whole thing. Ok, actually, this is a lot more germane. And almost as head-batteringly stupid. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept … Continue reading →
So the House passes a bill and it becomes obvious that over half of it is filler that is unlikely to be anything close to a stimulus. So the Senate jumpes in on the action now and what happens? Well, … Continue reading →
This woman is not only too fat, but also too stupid. Ms. Ragan is 5 feet tall, and weighs in at 275 pounds. Ms. Ragan developed a spinal tumor, for which she needed an MRI. Normal MRI machines could not … Continue reading →
Why teenage boys are the dumbest form of life in the known universe, Part MMDCCCLXXVIII. Via With Leather. Where else? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Like Speedy Gonzalez, this guy seems to have done everything right, except for being in the United States illegally, which pretty much casts a pall over everything that followed. Unfortunately for Mr. Jimenez, he was selling his house, and his … Continue reading →
Because this Duke psychologist is moving to the front of the line. Remind me, Duke Psychologist, was it a Republican or a Democrat who wrote “How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your … Continue reading →
In a stunning bit of moronic populism, the sheriff of Cook County, Illinois, one Tom Dart, has taken it upon himself to cease evicting people from foreclosed properties. Basically, the good sheriff has decided to ignore valid court orders that … Continue reading →
‘Puter just discovered that the people who live on this rock are, for the most part, absolute morons. According to this poll, fifty-four percent (54%) of the surveyed geniuses think someone other than Al Qaeda was responsible for the 9/11 … Continue reading →
Maryland comprises a small portion of the Greater D.C. Metroplex, and yet is responsible for a surprising amount of the area’s political stupidity, which is really saying something, as the fine political sages running the District of Columbia are among … Continue reading →
