‘Puter was bored so he wrote a song. Actually, he didn’t write a song. ‘Puter stole the music and rewrote the lyrics to make an irreverent parody song which he hopes offends the artist who actually did write the song. … Continue reading →
Except for the Black kid, every one of the people in this picture is to blame for Obamacare’s abject failure to deliver anything it promised. Actually, being liberal means never having to acknowledge your policies have tradeoffs. At least until … Continue reading →
Sorry, folks. It’s long past time you started paying your own bills for your risky, beachfront properties instead of sticking Kansans with the bill. Actions have consequences. Unless, of course, Washington politicians insulate you from your action’s consequences with a … Continue reading →
Republicans need to stop letting Democrats beat them with the intellectual equivalent of this argument, courtesy of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. As the East Coast prepares for Winter Storm J-Anus,* ‘Puter thought he’d take a bit of time to … Continue reading →
This is one half of the Democrats’ brain trustthat came up with the punishing, poorlythought through legislation known as Dodd-Frank. Two thoughts: (1) what makes Democrats think this guy thinks about anything other than where his next meal’s coming from and (2) Barneythe … Continue reading →
Big-time ad exec (and Obama supporter, evidently) Jeff Goodby—whose work you know well—is not a fan of the Pajama Boy ad campaign which you see being spoofed here as well as everywhere else. No, it isn’t because the ad parodies … Continue reading →
JAB, who deep fries even the turkey stuffing, writes in on Thanksgiving: Your Czarness: With Organizing for America sending out talking points for how to promote Obamacare at the family Thanksgiving table, I propose a competition: For every OFA point-spouting … Continue reading →
Hypnotoad would be a more effective president than Obama President Obama addressed the nation last night on ObamaCare. Well, Obama didn’t so much “address the nation” as summon NBC’s Chuck Todd to the White House to consult Obama, the Left’s … Continue reading →
Other than Obama having found and unleashed a Hypnotoad in the White House Press Briefing Room, what’s a plausible explanation for otherwise sane, sentient reporters buying Obama’s unending stream of lies, slander and other horse manure? ‘Puter said he might provide … Continue reading →
President Obama assumes his standardnegotiation posture with Congress. “I’dlove to negotiate with you, but first, youguys abandon your Constitutional dutiesto me.” Welcome back to ‘Puter Does the Debt Limit! All your Gormogons hope you’re enjoying ‘Puter providing some right smart learning … Continue reading →
Like Hypnotoad (AGTH),* PresidentObama, Democrats and the media expectus to unthinkingly believe them. ‘Puter’s sick and tired of know-nothings in the media – and even worse in government – spouting off about the debt limit, a subject which experience shows … Continue reading →
Don’ters line up at the front door of America’s very last Doer, looking for all that free crap Uncle Sugar and President Obama promised them. Don’ters are about to be extremely disappointed. Liberal politicians who’ve preyed on Don’ters fantasies for generations … Continue reading →
If anyone’s got a herpetic monkey wang, it’s the drummer for Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution. Good luck with getting your “little problem” treated under ObamaCare, Mr. Drummer! Eugene Robinson, an ever-reliable Obama sycophant, parrots the White House’s ObamaCare talking points in … Continue reading →
Mika has a sad because income inequality. Unfortunately,Mika doesn’t understand that despite her willful ignoranceof basic economic truths, pretending economic truths do notexist does not, in fact, cause those truths to cease existing. ‘Puter’s been watching Morning Joe again, which is … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been sparse in his posting of late, with good reason. You see, it’s tradition in ‘Puter’s office that when he goes on vacation each and every miserable slob of an employee uses ‘Puter’s absence as an opportunity to dump … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in, and the Czar will comment along. Dread and Awful Majesty: Your humble subject has mentioned in the past the possible consequences of incompetence in foreign policy. He has also mentioned how the US government at the … Continue reading →
Mr. West is Obama’s secretmortgage reform brain trust, originator of such great ideasas “Imma let you finish, butwhere’s my Hennessey at?” ‘Puter happened to be wandering aimlessly around the New York Times website when this article on President Obama’s forthcoming … Continue reading →
Sir Isaac Newton is not amused with Democrats’willful ignorance of cause and effect. Ah, Democrats. In times of complexity, unease and upheaval like these, ‘Puter finds himself admiring their simplicity of mind. If ignorance is bliss, the vast majority of … Continue reading →
Detroit’s bankruptcy is, as Idiot-in-Chief Joe Biden would say, “a big f*cking deal.” It’s a big deal not only for the people of Detroit, who most certainly have the most to gain (or lose) from restructuring the failed liberal city’s … Continue reading →
Hard to believe it finally happened, but the Czar is elated that DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano is resigning to go into academia. Ironically, she should have been there the entire time, if for no other reason than her threat assessment … Continue reading →
As you likely have heard, Illinois became the 50th state to join reality and legalize concealed carry. To be fair, implementation of this law will take a little while yet, but already people are watching to see what happens in … Continue reading →
‘Puter and Czar frequently rail against government backed student loans, bitching loudly and lengthily at all who will listen. Czar posted about the issue three days ago, and ‘Puter presciently posted on student loans nearly three years ago, on December … Continue reading →
‘Puter participates in “Toss a Mental Dwarfinto the Manticore Enclosure” Night downat the Leaping Peacock. Pictured, ‘Puter preparing to huck E.J. Dionne. Off camera,Czar wiping the schmaltz off his hands aftersimilarly treating Katrina vanden Heuvel. With apologies to a handful … Continue reading →
As you know, Illinois is the last state to prohibit concealed carrying of firearms in public and, thanks to a series of court decisions, is being forced to allow concealed carry. The Illinois legislature was given a limited time to … Continue reading →
‘Puter finally found some time to read the Supreme Court’s Fisher v. University of Texas at Austin decision. In its decision, a nearly unanimous court stated the lower appellate court (United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit) failed … Continue reading →
‘Puter read with jaw fully dropped this account at The Fiscal Times of yesterday’s Senate Homeland Security Subcommittee hearing on government’s security clearance process. Succinctly, the government has no standard process for granting security clearances, leaving it to the arbitrary … Continue reading →
“Boy, as a really, really observant RomanCatholic, am I looking forward to meetingJesus. He’ll be so proud of me, increasingthe rights of His womyn creatures to indiscriminately slaughter their young.” ‘Puter’s governor, the ever-delightful Andrew Cuomo, has come up with … Continue reading →
Gov. Cuomo demonstrates the danger offinger guns before Mayor Bloomberg joinshim on stage to introduce their jointlegislative proposal “Fingerguns UnderControl of Kids Kill Us Act,” or as it iswidely known, Cuomo’s FUCKKU Act. ‘Puter’s a casual hunter, and an even … Continue reading →
Liberals believe as an article of faith that liberals – and only liberals – support and defend the Bill of Rights. It’s those racist white male conservatives in horrid red flyover states that want keep women in the kitchen and … Continue reading →
’Puter, You’re attributing too much foresight to Mr. D.P.A. McManus. The “Arabs” in “Oliver’s Army” are not the lumpen Muslims you talk about. The vast majority of that group have always been Subcontinental, the “blacks” or “Pakis” of the unlovely … Continue reading →
This is almost exactly ‘Puter’s beloved2001 Nissan Pathfinder, which really hasvery little to do with the point of this post. ‘Puter’s not a car guy. It’s not that ‘Puter doesn’t like cars, it’s just that he’s not the type that … Continue reading →
What do the IRS scandal and the Senate’s hearing on Apple’s tax avoidance have in common? Both events lay bare modern American liberalism’s Achilles’ heel. Just like Prohibition, Liberalism dependson Americans’ willingness to voluntarilycomply with laws requiring Americansto do something … Continue reading →
For all the sanctimony that Democrats fly on their recently multi-colored flag, they sure are into theatrics just as much as Republicans. Maybe more so, particularly in matters of good taste. In Illinois, beleagured—and that puts it mildly—governor Pat Quinn … Continue reading →
The Czar is taking the latest scandal—or it was the latest at the time of writing; they’ll probably find some new one by the time you read this—involving the Department of Justice and their apparently inappropriate seizing of the Associated … Continue reading →
The following quote is pretty much the consensus of anybody who knows anything about the Benghazi scandal: We are witnessing the beginning of the end of the Obama administration, and the cause is Benghazi. One cannot underestimate the severity of … Continue reading →
Dread and Awful Czar, It would seem the illustrious sheriff of Palm Beach (FL) County, one Ric Bradshaw, has stolen a page from the playbook of the Okhrana and seems to want to institute what at first blush (and many … Continue reading →
‘Puter, like the rest of America, watched the Left and its media comfort women reduced to incoherent sputtering over the last week. Confronted with the Gun Control Failure story, the Boston (Marathon) Massacre story, the Elvis Impersonator Mails Ricin to Obama story and the … Continue reading →
They didn’t call him LearnedHand for nothing. He was oneof America’s greatest jurists, bar none. After ‘Puter, of course. Here’s several things to keep in mind today as we Fifty Three Percenters suck it up and support the freeloading loafers … Continue reading →
Liberals should ask themselves whether they’d prefer to live next door to low skill,welfare seeking illegal immigrants or degreed, bilingual, taxpaying high skillimmigrants like the ones ‘Puter works with. Imagine ‘Puter’s surprise when he found himself nodding in agreement with … Continue reading →
By now, even Tibetans who live in caves and eat rope for a living have heard that Obamacare is an utter disaster. And that isn’t just the folks who can correctly add two numbers together and digest more than website … Continue reading →
‘Puter and Czar at “Newlywed Gay CouplesDrink Free Night” at the Leaping Peacock.We’re not actually gay, but there’s nothingwe won’t do for free booze. There’s been no end of uninformed opining on the Left’s newly-discovered Constitutional right to gay marriage … Continue reading →
Know what has gotten to be so obvious that it has become a cliché? Progressivism. Notice how every state in the union suddenly has a bill on the table about firearms. And notice how oddly similar they all are. Americans … Continue reading →
“The educational paradigm has shifted from guaranteeing universal access to guaranteeing universal performance.” -‘Puter’s Tiny Local School District 2013-14 Budget Presentation PowerPoint** If the old saw is true — that a gaffe is when a government official accidentally speaks an … Continue reading →
A sign directs summoned reporters to the location of Mayor Bloomberg’s hastilyscheduled press conference. He Who KnowsBetter Than You explained the judicial banof his soda ban was ill-considered becausethe judge is a moron who can’t see that themayor should be able to … Continue reading →
Yesterday, the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC as it’s affectionately known, decided New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was not sufficiently conservative to address its 2013 gathering in Washington, D.C.One of ‘Puter’s favorite columnists, Charles Krauthammer, took CPAC to task, … Continue reading →
The proper response to Democrats’ profligate spending is to callthem out, make them pay for their beloved programs withoutborrowing. Pictured, House Republicans after passing a balancedbudget bill, taunting the Democrat led Senate as “cabrons.” ‘Puter is sick and gosh-darned tired … Continue reading →
Your ‘Puter has the power! To reason away!Dang, the Doobie Brothers were awesome.Mostly because of their anti-bootleggingappearance on What’s Happening. Classic. Liberals and the media (but then ‘Puter repeats himself) have been spectacularly successful in portraying conservatives’ guiding principle as irrational, … Continue reading →
One of the best comments about Ron Paul was sent to us some time ago by Bluesun, who forwarded us a comment that Ron Paul was a broken clock who was right 23 hours a day. The Ron Paul clock … Continue reading →
The other Illinois governor still behind bars, George Ryan, ended his stay in a federal prison and is now in what criminal justice types curiously term a Halfway House, deep into Chicago. About the only bipartisan thing Illinois government does … Continue reading →
Every liberal who thinks her opinionon the Second Amendment should control‘Puter’s rights should imagine this guydeciding what her Constitutional rightsshould be, and behave accordingly. In recent days many of ‘Puter’s leftist friends have taken to Facebook, crowing about how fantastic … Continue reading →
The Czar has good news for Republicans. Unfortunately, the Republican Party has no clue what to do about this and is almost certain to miss the opportunity as well as fail to understand why this was good news. And so … Continue reading →
‘Puter finally had opportunity to review Governor Andrew Cuomo’s (D-NY, but then I repeat myself) newly proposed restriction on firearms. Among Gov. Cuomo’s proposals are the following two: (1) all sales of ammunition will require a background check; and (2) … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s more liberal friends, which is to say every friend except his fellow Gormogons, cannot fathom why ‘Puter would be suspicious of the latest push to restrict legal gun ownership in the United States. After all, all good and right-thinking … Continue reading →
To most liberals, gun control means confiscation and destruction. Nothingwill satisfy liebrals except completeand total citizen disarmament. ‘Puter’s governor Andrew Cuomo is at this moment preparing to deliver his annual State of the State Address in Albany, New York. According to … Continue reading →
Despite Democrats’ protestations to thecontrary, the United States’ run-in with thedebt ceiling does not require default on America’s issued debt. The media and most of America has its collective undies in a bunch fretting about the debt ceiling. Don’t worry … Continue reading →
In America’s real life version of the Roadrunner cartoons, we’re all Wile E. Coyote. But Congress is thesuper-genius that devises solutions basedsolely on the Acme line of products despiteits certain knowledge it’ll doom us all. Puter’s back after a well-deserved Christmas … Continue reading →
To hear Progressives tell it, unions today are still the same stand-up-for-the-little-guy voluntary association of pure-minded do-gooders from the halcyon days of the Great Depression. You know. Like the beneficent United Auto Workers union responsible in 1937 for illegally occupying a privately owned business, … Continue reading →
The Czar cannot stress this enough: the Republicans have a major opportunity to make Democrats look like idiots. And the time has come for that to happen, too. Right now, most of the major US media outlets are telling the … Continue reading →
Louisiana’s Gov. Bobby Jindal and itslegislature provided their state’s children education vouchers, freeing poor children from the invisible but lifelong shacklesof a “separate but equal” education just assurely as the Supreme Court did decadesearlier in Brown v. Board of Education. Louisiana recently … Continue reading →
Let’s review a bit of history. Does anyone in the media recall what gave rise to the fiscal cliff? Anyone? Anyone at all? Apparently not. To be fair, ‘Puter shouldn’t judge the Washington press corps for its faulty recollection of … Continue reading →
Part Two of Seven Click here for Part One: Introduction It is time Republicans started to realize Reagan was a rare event, and that we need to stop listening to the guys trying to bring him back.Ronald Reagan isn’t coming … Continue reading →
While mucking out his gutters and hanging Christmas lights this weekend, ‘Puter spent some time thinking about conservatism. To hear the liberal media tell it, conservatism has been entirely discredited, and unconditional surrender to the liberal agenda is the only … Continue reading →
May her last colors never run. The Czar really wanted to avoid posting anything today except an analysis of why Obama lost. You would have enjoyed reading it; the Czar certainly enjoyed writing it back in September. Suffice it to … Continue reading →
Guess what the Czar was just complaining about at lunch? Why, BG writes in with exactly that: I got an email from the city of Alexandria, Virginia, that says, in part, “If a power outage occurs, do not use candles … Continue reading →
Mind you, ‘Puter’s impression of U.S. Attorney Preet S. Bharara’s action against Bank of America is based entirely on Mr. Bharara’s press release, which you may review here. Here’s a very brief synopsis of the government’s claims. For a more … Continue reading →
Dear Mr. President, After last night’s debate, you addressed a rally of your supporters and the press in Florida. But then I repeat myself. You chose this occasion, in front of a live audience of 11,000 or so to riff that … Continue reading →
A photo of ‘Puter’s Mom, circa 1967. Notreally. ‘Puter’s Mom was too busy workingto hang out with the rich kid, self absorbedhippies smoking weed and dodging the draft. ‘Puter’s going to let slip some ‘Puter family secrets. Both Mrs. ‘Puter … Continue reading →
‘Puter harped plenty about colleges’ use of affirmative action in admissions last week in the context of the Supreme Court’s review of the issue. Imagine ‘Puter’s surprise when he came upon this nugget of information. Florida’s Department of Education is … Continue reading →
“After tonight’s debate, I’ll be at 1 win, and you’ll be at 0 wins. See? I even provided youvisual aids. But I see your clearly superiorintellect is engrossed in deep thought,so I’ll wait for you to look up.” After Mitt … Continue reading →
Vice President Joe Biden addresses themedia after his stunning debate performance,blames the intelligence community for notmaking certain he took his meds today. ‘Puter watched the vice presidential debate last evening with his entire family, at least until ‘Puter shooed Spawn … Continue reading →
Today the Supreme Court of the United States (“SCOTUS”) heard oral argument in Fisher v. University of Texas, Docket No. 11-345. Petitioner Abigail Fisher sued respondent University of Texas claiming Respondent’s race-based admissions policy* violated her Constitutional guarantee of equal protection, … Continue reading →
‘Puter lifted this police file photo of Czarsleeping off last year’s Christmas Partymystery punch. Moral of the story: Never let Sleestak bartend. He has a heavy pour. No, ‘Puter didn’t just regain consciousness after 2011’s yeti-themed New Year’s Eve Gala … Continue reading →
Sure, we hear all the polling numbers that Obama’s got this election in the bag – particularly in the swing states. And we can point at the various debunking of those polls – whether it be biased, inaccurate political affiliation … Continue reading →
When ‘Puter writes his musical version ofthe 2012 election, Bye Bye Barry, he’ssigning the young, hot Ann Margaret to star as him. Dang, what a fine looking woman. “What’s the story, Morning Glory? What’s the word, Humming Bird? Have you … Continue reading →
Amidst the continuing fallout from the natural consequences of President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton’s feckless, apologetic Middle East policy, we would do well to consider war. No, ‘Puter’s not calling on anyone to start yet another war. Rather, … Continue reading →
Remember good old Thad McCotter? He was a US Representative from Michigan who flirted dangerously long with running for President on the Republican ticket. Why, he was so good at running for President that he sorta forgot to run for … Continue reading →
The President keeps insisting that Mitt Romney is planning to raise taxes on the middle class, in order to provide for a tax cut for the rich. Why, he even dubbed his challenger Romney Hood, to much laughter. But Romney’s … Continue reading →
Harry Reid, 1974: Any man or woman who will not be completely candid about his or her finances does not deserve to be in public office. Senator Reid was asked about this on Monday. His response: In 1974, I wasn’t … Continue reading →
A pregnant Mrs. The Czar, The Czar andSanta Claus (the alleged father), discussabortion rights, gun rights and the importanceof overwhelming firepower in their 2003 Christmas Card. You should read the accompanying letter. ‘Puter apologizes in advance to his liberal readers for using … Continue reading →
‘Puter keeps a mental list of things that piss him off, and periodically shares them with his close friends. By close friends, ‘Puter means “anyone standing within earshot when he encounters something that pisses him off.” Here are a few … Continue reading →
When you stop by the Castle, askto see Mandy’s extensive collectionof things that are simultaneously liveand dead. Just don’t get too close. By now, much ink has been spilled by people far more intelligent than ‘Puter weighing in on Chief … Continue reading →
Mr. Dionne shows off his home office’s“far talking thinger” and “computerizer,” two things conservatives are toostupid to understand. ‘Puter highly recommends the Democrats follow E.J. Dionne’s incandescently brilliant plan to retake the House and hold the presidency and the Senate … Continue reading →
Man, what a hangover. Czar and ‘Puter were up for two days straight, celebrating Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s historic beat-down of labor unions with the fine serving wenches at the Leaping Peacock. Before you get all “‘Puter’s a sexist pig,” … Continue reading →
Cubs fans are a weirdly persistent lot; they would follow their team to the ends of the Earth. So much so that many teams like to play the Cubs at home because their usually empty stadiums are filled with concessions-buying … Continue reading →
Look, Axelrod, no matter how much you plant headlines like The GOP’s sad infatuation with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, you’re never going to pin this racist lunatic on Republicans. Fact is, it wasn’t the Republicans who attended his church for 20 … Continue reading →
Nothing brings out the best in New Yorkers like school district budget season, and this year’s no exception. Just to keep the bare-knuckled brawls from becoming mundane, this year many Upstate districts are structurally bankrupt as a result of the … Continue reading →
The Left should just admit they don’t know anything about firearms. Those of us on the Right who embrace firearms know this already—one of the safest bets in all of gambling is linking an anti-gun crusader to ignorance about firearms. … Continue reading →
Want more stupid? Chicago alderman George Cardenas, who by rights should be looking for a real job after the next election, has introduces a resolution to the City of Chicago to impose a fifteen-to-thirty-cents-per-ounce tax on soft drinks and energy … Continue reading →
Sit back for an idea that will never happen. But the Czar would suspect it would be incredibly popular, if not impossible to implement. How about this: how about Congress adopt rules that cutesy nicknames and oppositionally opposed words be … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s still fired up about the Obama Administration’s ill-considered decision to cram down its version of morality on the Catholic Church, 2,000 years of carefully considered theological consistency and 224 of American Constitutional law be damned. If anything, ‘Puter’s more … Continue reading →
The First Law of Thermodynamics states roughly that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be changed in form. This is, as proponents of Anthropogenic Global Warming are wont to say, settled science. And, as these self-same acolytes … Continue reading →
Arizona governor Jan Brewer, whom the media will remind you is a Republican governor, had an interesting thing happen to her on the way to the airport. She went to the airport to meet the President, who was arriving on … Continue reading →
We’ve been a bit remiss talking about the big SOPA swirl over the last few days. So let me give you the short summary and then a bit more of a detailed explanation: Summary: Congressmen do stupid stuff. Always have … Continue reading →
So Newt is running an ad making fun of Mitt’s speaking French, eh? The Volgi carries no water for Willard Mittens Romney, of course, but Newter, please. Confucius happens to have a copy of Newt’s dissertation, Belgian Educational Policy in … Continue reading →
Ah, the payroll tax cut debate. A lot of mud is slinging on both sides, so the Czar thought he would clear things up for you, dear readers, on what is really going on. Warning: sausage making is featured. Presently, … Continue reading →
Michael A. Walsh, of the New York Post sums up perfectly what the Czar has been thinking: what if everything US AG Eric Holder testified over the last couple days was true. If so, here is your attorney general: he … Continue reading →
While watching the side-splittingly funny adventures of Mitt & Newt, now a series on the Disney Channel (featuring those obnoxious 42 year old “teenaged” twins from Zack and Cody: Obnoxious in Any Setting, or whatever crappy iteration of the tired … Continue reading →
Just a follow-on to Dr. J’s predictions that the Massachusetts elections are about to get interesting with the announced retirement of Rep. Barney Frank at the end of his term. The Czar would like to breathe a sigh of relief. … Continue reading →
Here’s our politicians’ dirty little secret. Washington knows what’s wrong with the economy, and they know how to fix it. “Great! Then why won’t Washington fix it, ‘Puter?,” you reply. It’s a good question, with a simply answer: the fix … Continue reading →
