The Czar Explains the Emmys
We’ve been so busy here at the Castle, we haven’t updated in a while. The Czar has a 4,000-word jeremiad from Operative B about how dumb we are for the last post we did, and there’s just no getting to … Continue reading →
Category Archives: Television
GorT Would Notice
A few years ago, the new fad in home televisions was the “3D” TV. Most manufacturers now treat that as routine and they probably cashed in on the early-adopter set but largely, mainstream viewers replied, “meh.” Well, the next stage … Continue reading →
Daily Show Absolutely Skewers Obamacare
You might like Jon Stewart. You might not. Indeed, you might loathe him. But his Daily Show put together the most horrific, scathing takedown of Obamacare and its dysfunctional Healthcare.gov yet done—horrific because it is all true. Given Stewart’s influence … Continue reading →
Prime Time Tonight on the Presidential Network
6:00 Uh-Oh, Billy! Sitcom “Hilarr-ity” continues as Bill and Al try to sneak a girl out of the house while Hillary is home; Hillary, thinking Bill forgot their anniversary, is in no mood for explanations. So how did the girl … Continue reading →
Aw Nuts!
Waiting so much for this one. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of … Continue reading →
Every Once In A While
GorT generally despises “reality TV” – it’s akin to texting in that it is a cheap way for networks to earn money by airing low budget content (and therefore low-value content) and rake in the advertising money (texting for those … Continue reading →
No, Verizon Is Not Listening To You Talk
Borepatch put us onto this one, and it sounds like a bunch of hooey. According to something called (really) HotHardware.com, Verizon has developed a technology that, when put into a cable television receiver, can eavesdrop on your conversations while you … Continue reading →
Angus Jones Is More Right Than He Thinks
Not-so-young actor Angus Jones, sub-star of the sub-par Two and a Half Men, plays the half-man in the series title. Ironically, though, that might pass to perpetual wannabe Ashton Kutcher who, quite frankly, is not going to be playing Iago … Continue reading →
Why Everything Sucks
There is an entire course in psychology within this 3:16 Craig Ferguson clip. All of it is right.Thanks to FotG Jonah Goldberg for alerting us to this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Rain Out
The boys’ baseball games were rained out today here in Muscovy, so this is what we are spending our day watching: Parry Gripp is a genius. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
The Gormogons Action Hour!
The always engaging Borepatch writes this on a bullet which he fired through one of our windows last night. And this morning, he showed up at the Castle asking for his bullet back. Times being what they are, etc. Dread … Continue reading →
That’s How Ya Do It!
This is the Czar’s favoritest commercial going right now. We just showed it to the Mandarin, who stared and wanted to know what the deal with the seagull is. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и … Continue reading →
Volgi Makes a Commercial
It is not playing during prime hours, so perhaps you missed it? Shame that Vince the Sham-Wow guy backed out at the last minute. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →
Mailbag: Folks Cater to the Czar’s Whims
As the Czar predicted (some might say begged for), emails have been flooding in (some might say two arrived) about the Czar’s tribute to Kolchak: The Night Stalker television series. ScottO, the @AgStateSense, writes in: O Great and All-Knowing Czar, … Continue reading →
The Czar Finds A Use For His Television
Well, the Czar found a superb way to waste an entire evening, which did not involve being further demoralized by the Black Hawks at all. The Czar’s television set is wired to the Internet. Dunno why, really, but every so … Continue reading →
May We Quote You?
Credit where it is due: The View finally managed to put together their most coherent and substantive issue yet. Sigh. This show is still on the air, by the way. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Maybe It Is Time To Pull the Plug on The Simpsons Anyway
Okay, so The Simpsons won’t be cancelled after all; negotiations worked, and Fox promises two more seasons. Truth be told? The Czar is a bit disappointed. Possibly, you are as well. Its first season, way back in 1989, was uneven … Continue reading →
Sorry!
We have all been so preoccupied today with the season premier of Top Shot that no one posted a thing. Anyway, gotta go… the conclusion is minutes away. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
Mail Sports
A Canadian Reader writes in from the London you would want to visit with one of the strangest emails the Czar has received in a long time. Enjoy. Mighty Czar, Many thanks for the ‘Never attribute to malice what can … Continue reading →
NBC Stupid, Not Evil
And so during the opening of the US Open coverage, NBC showed a quick segment of some children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Curiously absent from the pledge were the words “under God.” And boy, did the fireworks come out. … Continue reading →
Separated At Birth?
Your Mandarin has been thinking about this quite a lot lately. Is CNN’s Randi Kaye any relation to our own Sleestak? I tried asking Sleestak, but truthfully, that stutter of his makes him hard to understand. The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose … Continue reading →
Hey Buddy, This Ain’t A Library
You know what television commercial annoys the Czar a little bit? The State Farm commercial, in which a woman buys a newspaper. The proprietor jumps up and says “Excuse me—your change.” Cut to the Non-Threatening Hispanic Male standing in front … Continue reading →
Leslie Nielsen, R.I.P. Police Squad! funniest show ever?
Thanks, Katō! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →More Guns on TV…
Your Mandarin has received yet another epistle regarding the posts Programming Note and Guns On TV from Gormogon operative and all around swell guy BG: Honored Mandarin – To believe that an irrational liberal (I know, redundant) will come to … Continue reading →
Programming Note…
Your Mandarin is a strong opponent of censorship and has always been of the opinion that if you don’t like what is on television you should either change the channel or turn it off. Apparently, Mr. Steven Cowan decided that … Continue reading →
Role Model
And all this time the Czar has been saying that President Obama has completely failed to fulfill his promises on increasing the role of science in politics! Because we learn that Obama science advisor John Holdren will be appearing on … Continue reading →
Be Seeing You
Some might recognize the title of this post from a late 1960s British television show titled, “The Prisoner“. The short-lived (17-episode) series starred the late Patrick McGoohan as a spy tired of the “game” and trying to retire. He is … Continue reading →
@#&% the FCC!
The SCOTUS has upheld the FCC’s sometimes erratic pursuit of profanity on network television. Fox (the network) has claimed that the FCC’s prohibition of profanities is a violation of free speech. The Czar is not certain where to stand on … Continue reading →
Great Idea!
Like this won’t cause even more auto accidents. I’m sure teens and other idiot drivers will use this new technological “advance” safely and appropriately. Jerk-monkeys. [Can we just call this the Eddie Griffin Memorial Mobile Televideo Technology? —ŒV] ‘Puter has … Continue reading →