The Gormogons gathered for another session of the Daggerheart campaign, below is a summary of how it unfolded… Act I – Celebration & Catastrophe The festival at Elaro’s Grasp was loud, crowded, and begging to be mocked. From their balcony … Continue reading →
(Scene: The Castle Gormogon game room. Tankards, rope, spores, and vodka litter the table. Six Gormogons sit with character sheets in hand, glaring and smirking at each other.) Czar of Muscovy: “Da! My Experiences are clear. ‘The Pen Is Mightier… … Continue reading →
GorT has been toying around with the Daggerheart TTRPG. So he’s going to run a mock campaign using a bit of AI, a bit of creativity, and see what happens. First, GorT set the stage with the pitch for the … Continue reading →
Hi folks, it’s been a while since any of us Gormos have posted here. We’ve been busy, work, lives, kids, spending too much time on Twitter/X, cooking, grilling, etc. But I can across a post to an article at the … Continue reading →
While Twitter might now be X, to compete better with Facebook Meta, we’re sticking with the name you’ve come to know and dread us by. And when X goes back to being called Twitter, we’ll still be here. The Czar … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since any of us posted and I know we’ve covered this topic on Twitter and here as well but as I start commuting more I’m noticing these a bit more. So here we go with GorT’s … Continue reading →
In 1988, The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie, hit stores and was an immediate non-hit. But its content, very loosely based on Islamic lore, upset Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran. Not only did Khomeini not endorse the book, seek Rushdie’s autograph, … Continue reading →
‘Puter watches the Left’s reaction to last week’s Bruen ruling on gun rights and Dobbs ruling on abortion rights and marvels. Marvel is the wrong word, you say? What’s a better description for feeling when watches the Left’s utter insanity, … Continue reading →
In response to GorT’s thoughts below this post, the Czar has some addenda. In fact, he’s discussed this with one of our more liberal Twitter readers who agreed with the overall premise here. So in addition to the revamp of … Continue reading →
This past weekend, the GorTs and the Puters got together for dinner, drinks, and conversation. At one point, we landed on the topic of education without recounting the entire conversation, Mrs. P and I agreed that now is the time … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Monkey Pox, which is known as Corona Virus, MERS, … Continue reading →
Ohio House poised to eliminate permit requirements for carrying concealed weapons reads the headline on Cleveland.com (née, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Czar believes). This article is a great example of media following a template written for it by others. The … Continue reading →
Join The Mandarin, Dr. J, ‘Puter, and GorT as we polish off a long, dragged out season 4 with hopes that we can get back on schedule for Season 5 of Radio Gormogon!! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the … Continue reading →
Scene: United States, Washington, DC, Capitol Hill Hart Senate Office Building, Room 216 Senate Judiciary Committee Hearings Supreme Court Nominee Confirmation Hearing August 2022 [Third day of hearings, late afternoon DC sun pours through the windows as the usual summer … Continue reading →
Buckle up, kids, this one is going to be long. If you are a follower of ours on Twitter (), you’ve probably seen a handful of us (largely ‘Puter, GorT, and the Czar) rip apart various posts from Washington Post … Continue reading →
People ask me*, “Dread and Unusually Attractive Volgi of the Œcumene, it’s getting to the point in the NFL season where I’m really concerned about my team’s making the playoffs, or not screwing up their draft position, or needing to … Continue reading →
Now you get to meet GorT, ‘Puter, and Doctor J!! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from … Continue reading →
On a tip by the Volgi, I subscribe to Klon Kitchen’s “Kitchen Sync”. It’s a great summary of key items and their intersection with government, politics, or society, largely in or related to the Tech industry. He sent a link … Continue reading →
Part one of two, where you get to learn more about the Czar, the Volgi, and the Mandarin through deep and though-provoking questions. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from … Continue reading →
Desperate times call for desperate measures, of course. But when the measures get truly desperate, they also get truly goofy. Remember that scene in the Marx Brothers movie Go West, where they’re on a train that’s running out of coal? … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since GorT posted an actual blog post but in thinking about this topic, it was more than what I’d do on Twitter. ‘Puter might create a 22-tweet rant but I’m not sure I could adequately cover … Continue reading →
In this episode, ‘Puter, the Volgi, the Mandarin, and GorT talk about Cuomo (recorded before he stepped down), masking, rational debates, and much more. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive … Continue reading →
Join Doctor J, the Volgi, and GorT as they discuss the 2021 (2020) Olympics! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for … Continue reading →
A little diversion for our listeners. The Czar talks about recent scientific breakthroughs and then we tune into some 2021 Olympic coverage of the 2020 Olympics….after this commercial. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the monkey pox, which is known as the Corona, Zombie … Continue reading →
The Woke activists really think they won a major cultural victory with President* Biden signing a bill to make Juneteenth a federal holiday. Now, this probably won’t translate into a general day off for Americans, just as Columbus Day and … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been bitching on Twitter for a few days about the New York Legislature passing and Gov. Cuomo signing into law the so-called HERO Act. The act is yet another expensive, expansive state government intrusion into the workplace. Worst of … Continue reading →
Listen in to The Czar, Dr. J, The Mandarin, ‘Puter, and GorT as they discuss the governmental system of the United States, DC Statehood, the Senate, the Electoral College, and maybe a few other tidbits. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot … Continue reading →
‘Puter love him some Twitter. Boy, does ‘Puter love him some Twitter. (And bewbs. Don’t forget ‘Puter also loves him some bewbs.) But Twitter by its nature is insufficient for lengthy, nuanced thoughts. As such, ‘Puter decided to revert to … Continue reading →
The Narcissist Narcissists come in many flavors, with “harmless” being the most popular; however, a dangerous type of narcissist can ruin people’s lives, destroy reputations, and cost people their jobs—and often, the narcissist is oblivious to the damage he or … Continue reading →
Who doesn’t love boobies? You see the word all over social media, but what does it really mean? And how much do you know about them? The Czar, ever the sort of person who likes to lord his expansive knowledge … Continue reading →
The Czar, ‘Puter, and GorT gather to initially talk about TV and movies but spent more time, given current events, talking about politics and racism. We’ll patch in the TV/movie discussion into the next episode. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot … Continue reading →
‘Puter feels like singing. He’s had that one song from “The LEGO Movie” stuck in his head all morning. You know the one. It goes like this: All you guys are racist! All you guys are tools because you’re not … Continue reading →
Senators. Congressmen. Bureaucrats. Judges. Lobbyists. Media. We call these people “the establishment.” They consider themselves gods. But twilight comes for all, even the gods. Twilight is not readily definable, at least not in the vernacular. But we know it when … Continue reading →
The Gormogons got together and decided to sing a Christmas song for our friends GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for … Continue reading →
Assuming there’s going to be a President Joe Biden* in January, he should realize that he has been given a very clear mandate on how to run the country. With a record number of voters casting ballots, few presidents have … Continue reading →
‘Puter, the Mandarin, the Czar, Doc, and GorT gather in the Castle kitchen to kick around ideas for Season 4 of Radio Gormogon, catch up a bit on how we’re doing, and talk about family food traditions. It’s a long … Continue reading →
The Joe Biden presidency,* assuming there eventually is one, will always have an asterisk after its name due to the incredibly unlikely events which transpired on the evening of Election Day, 2020, and the days which followed. Reasonably, because Biden … Continue reading →
Didja miss last night’s debate? Most Americans did. The Czar wouldn’t be surprised, though, to see a slight uptick in ratings over most last-debate-before-election debates only because a lot of people were hoping to see a rage-fueled Donald Trump rip … Continue reading →
Looks like I don’t have to do a write up of the next debate. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →
Americans of all political stripes united together last night to ask “What the hell did I just watch?” Of course, the Czar is talking about the first—and potentially last—2020 Presidential Debate. Not only was there surprisingly little actual debate between … Continue reading →
The Czar can’t remember when the Gormogons last had a multi-post debate, but GorT’s piece, ”We Missed an Opportunity,” echoes a conversation the Czar had at dinner with his elder boy, who not only asked the same questions GorT did, … Continue reading →
As stated before, GorT did not vote for Trump in 2016 and it’s unclear what my in-person vote will be in a few weeks. In reading and discussing politics with people, I believe there is a very large contingent in … Continue reading →
Operative AB needs to know more about body language, as he wants to be fluent in many bodies. He’s requested the above helpful guide, but got this instead. This cat is telling you he knows too much. The kid is … Continue reading →
Your dog is always trying to tell you things, and you’re smart enough not to listen. But if you did, do you know what your dog is saying? Dogs don’t use words like people or birds do, or even puppets, … Continue reading →
Conservatives may not resort to temper tantrums (as often), vandalize private or public property, nor assume words have no consequences quite like Liberals do, but they do share an annoying trait: they can complain like anything! The irony is that … Continue reading →
Operative K takes time off from Tcho-Tcho whipping* to write in as well on the subject of statue toppling, and agrees with the Czar—which is largely why he gets the good jobs around the Castle. Dread Czar, I write today … Continue reading →
AB has taken time off from microwaving fireworks in the kitchen to send a thought about Why Statues Topple. Czar… It’s even more simple that that. The people toppling the statues have zero connection to the past. They are either … Continue reading →
So New York’s Museum of Natural History is contemplating—which means executing—the removal of Teddy Roosevelt’s famous statue. And why not? He’s been declared a racist and colonialist, even though he was most assuredly not a racist and actually fought against … Continue reading →
What do you call a journalist who learns from his mistakes? Unemployed. The media once again have absolutely no clue what’s going on, and are basically relying on what they’re reading on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to regurgitate a mass … Continue reading →
Look, it’s not as easy as it seems. In the last two weeks, the Czar has had issues with Chinese products. Indeed, nearly the same issue with both. The Царевич wanted a small, portable hard drive so that he could … Continue reading →
This hasn’t been working for me lately. Something GorT did, I heard, but I seem to have found my way back in. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
‘Puter and GorT offer some advice for new graduates as they enter the workforce GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for … Continue reading →
The Czar talks about spirits…the alcoholic kind. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all … Continue reading →
‘Puter, Czar, Doc, and GorT talk about music, our influences, and debate a few musical things. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →
Doc and some of the other Gormogons talk about COVID-19 GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from … Continue reading →
The Gormos host their first debate…Gormogon style…for World Domination! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
So amidst the Coronavirus, companies are struggling – particularly travel and hospitality industry ones, including bars, restaurants, etc. Various discussions around government bailouts have been started and a stimulus package is making its way through Congress. Former presidential candidate, Elizabeth … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
You’ve heard the expression a bunch of times by now: “Get woke, go broke.” This simple four-word social media response often follows news stories about popular media events suffering huge financial losses after bending to Leftist diversity stereotypes. You heard … Continue reading →
The Czar and the Mandarin talk all about guns, gun ownership, and more. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. … Continue reading →
‘Puter and GorT finish up the soccer discussion GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay … Continue reading →
‘Puter and GorT talk about Soccer…and why certain other sports are terrible GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The … Continue reading →
Social Security. To even mention the words in other than the most laudatory tones is to invite the wrath of Democrats and old people. ‘Puter, of course, cares not what Democrats or old people think of him. ‘Puter cares only … Continue reading →
Mrs. GorT and GorT watched the entire Democrat Debate last night on NBC. I can’t tell you how many times one of us was snickering or outright laughing and making a comment like, “this is pure entertainment gold.” Keep in … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been thinking a lot lately. It’s that time of the year, the beginning of the end of Upstate New York’s interminable season of frozen death. ‘Puter’s got plenty of time to brood, knocking back a Big Gulp or five … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s back. He had to go all the way down to the Leaping Peacock to get a fresh handle of scotch. We had more scotch yesterday, but Czar got an early start on celebrating Czars Day and drank the Castle’s … Continue reading →
‘Puter hopes you read his immediately prior blog post concerning the NYT editors’ daily letters page set-asides for women. That post was merely prelude to what ‘Puter really wanted to write about: the woman who started this ideologically masturbatory jihad … Continue reading →
Over the weekend, ‘Puter sat down and read the Sunday New York Times.* In the Sunday Review section, the editors wrote a love-letter to women who write letters to the editor titled “Women, Please Speak Out.” ‘Puter considered synopsizing the … Continue reading →
Doc and GorT chat about TV, streaming, and movies with one of our favorite minions, Darthie (@Darth_Mommie on Twitter) GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return … Continue reading →
Kicking off season 3 with another rendition of Ask the Gormogons GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Corona virus, which is known as the Zombie Deer, … Continue reading →
“As you read, your chest tightens and a sense of dread washes over you, radiating out from your heart. You feel anxious, afraid and intensely guilty.” What’s this quote about? Biopsy results? Your 401k after an inevitable downturn? Your kid’s … Continue reading →
At least, we think you did. Perhaps hope is a better word. Anyhow, the Gormogons are pleased to announce Season 3.0 of our award-not-winning-or-remotely-nominated podcast series is about to start production. This season promises even more episodes will be added … Continue reading →
For many years, GorT has been advocating that we need to improve our teaching of Civics in our schools. Never is it so apparent as during Presidential campaign season when we get to witness sitting Senators completely forget that they … Continue reading →
The Internet has a lot of useful things, but as we all know, it has a lot of nonsense as well. While that indeed is obvious, even reasonable people can—from time to time—get lost in trying to determine which is … Continue reading →
Wow. The Czar got some actual mail the other day, and for a second, he had to check the date, as it’s been a while since anyone has sent anything. Fortunately, it was from Operative B, who had this to … Continue reading →
If you’re like most Americans and are fortunate enough to have a 401(k), you probably noticed that it’s gone up by $2.6 million dollars for every hundred you have invested in it. The Czar exaggerates, of course, but returns right … Continue reading →
Our American readers probably don’t care much for or about the British elections, and whether Nigel Kennewick has held onto the Constituency of West Scrotshire, establishing an opportunity for a coalition with the New Conservative Democratic Liberal Reform Social Party. … Continue reading →
‘Puter pointed out this thread on Twitter earlier today and given the nuances of Twitter, some of our followers couldn’t read it. While someone posted images of it back to Twitter, I reached out and @Popehat agreed that I could … Continue reading →
The Supreme Court of the United States, which is apparently an illegitimate entity since it was taken over by Donald Trump, is going to hear a Second Amendment case arising from the state of New York. This is interesting to … Continue reading →
Are you a citizen? No, not you. Your friends, family, and acquaintances who insist that “borders are only lines on a map.” Are they citizens? These are the kinds of questions that vex ‘Puter late into the evening as he … Continue reading →
Let’s just get to the questions you want answered in life: what’s the difference between a bar, a tavern, a pub, and a saloon? A lot of these words are interchangeable, especially in the United States, so it will likely … Continue reading →
At this point, impeaching Donald Trump is little more than an obvious media stunt. Although polls show that quite a few Americans support his impeachment, there’s a little reminder about polls that should pause anyone zealously hoping this means something: … Continue reading →
For those of you not following us on Twitter (@Gormogons if that’s not obvious), ‘Puter is sick (again)…man-sick…by which I mean, he is home sitting on the couch, complaining that he’s going to die, while watching TV and tweeting. Dying. … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Zombie Deer virus, which is known as the Zika, … Continue reading →
Each morning ‘Puter stops at a McDonald’s near his office to pick up a steaming hot cup McDonald’s decaf.* Three creams, no sugar. Get it right. Nearly every day the same woman takes ‘Puter’s order and gets ‘Puter his coffee. … Continue reading →
A lot of people make a big deal about open-heart surgery, especially those undergoing it, but in fact it’s quite easy to do, the Czar figures. Think about it. The heart’s always in the same place, it makes itself pretty … Continue reading →
Today’s guest post comes from a long-time contributer, Dr. (KN)J, who is of course no relation to our own Dr. J., because, really that would be horrific for the former. Dr. (KN)J, for example, understands math, but he does not … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s an early riser. He routinely wakes between 04:30 and 05:00 without the assistance of an alarm. He loves the wee, small hours of the morning when the whole wide world is fast asleep. ‘Puter often uses this time to … Continue reading →
“War is politics by other means.”—von Clausewitz “Politics is war by other means.”—any Democrat since 1968 Killing the Golden Goose It’s pretty clear the Democrats know they are handing Trump an easy re-election. The middle class, in particular, seems to … Continue reading →
The Czar always suspected that grilling watermelon is a real possibility, and this weekend he took advantage of some old friends stopping by the dacha to do just that. Fortunately, the week before, one of the Czar’s neighbors introduced him … Continue reading →
The Czar is by no means the biggest fan of dessert. While millions of folks bang their forks and spoons at the restauramt, screaming “Caaaaake” like a bunch of over-caffeinated seven-year-olds at a birthday party the second the waiter shows … Continue reading →
Well, you long-time readers know the Castle Gormogon so well that you could walk to it from the Leaping Peacock with your eyes closed, which in fact is how ‘Puter and the Czar often have to do it. But we … Continue reading →
“Gosh,” the Czar exclaimed to his lovely wife, “Gormogonicon 2019 is just days away, and we still don’t have a venue!” As long-time readers know, we are loath to host our annual get-together at the Castle because (a) the Castle … Continue reading →
The Цесаревич has always been fascinated by politics at all levels (local, municipal, state, and federal…and spends a lot of time watching elections overseas, too), and rather unsurprisingly is considering political science as his college major. As he gets older, … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s so old he remembers when racism was among the most serious charges a person could level against another. ‘Puter also remembers when racism actually meant racism. That is, racism had a set meaning. It meant discriminating against another person … Continue reading →
The Czar meant to post this over the weekend, but he so busy doing nothing important that he totally forgot. The Czar will answer your questions on whatever the name is of this latest Marvel movie. Is this movie as … Continue reading →
Imagine New York, and you might put the Statue of Liberty in that image. Think of San Francisco, and most of us still picture the Golden Gate. St. Louis? The Arch! Los Angeles? The Hollywood sign. Picture Portland, and nearly … Continue reading →
